18.
~ "Dearest, I hate to think of those men throwing rotten food at you the other day." Arthur said the next morning over breakfast. "Especially in your condition. Then of you sitting in a jail cell."
Ariadne rolled her eyes as she tore apart the toast Arthur and Mrs. Marsh made her eat. Her appetite was still hit or miss this morning. She was visited with frequent bouts of never wanting to see or smell food again, to a fearful need to eat something or starve.
Her stomach hadn't forgotten to wake her with more sickness that morning. She had thrown up a little and had to lay back down immediately. Her head spinning hatefully again as her body ached and she wanted to sleep more.
"We don't know for certain that I'm in any condition." Ariadne said plainly as she helped herself to coffee.
Arthur was quick to take it away from her.
"I've already had Mrs. Mills make a call to Dr. Winslet and he says no coffee or alcohol until he's certain." her husband said.
"I don't drink alcohol." she said angrily. She liked her morning cup of coffee with plenty of sugar in it and had a hard time functioning without it. She also didn't like Arthur censoring what she could and could not eat or drink.
"We have to think of the little one. Sacrifices have to be made." he said in a voice that irritated her.
She looked bitterly at the large cup of black coffee he was enjoying and scowled.
"I notice you're not the one who's making sacrifices." she said.
It was his turn to roll his eyes.
"I'm not the one who's in a delicate condition." he said and smoothed his hands over the vest that perfectly matched his suit.
"I wish the doctor would hurry. I've taken a half day from work to be here when he examines you." Arthur said.
"You won't be in the room, will you?" Ariadne gasped in horror. The very idea of him in the room while a doctor was there was horrific.
"Of course not." Arthur said in disgust. "But after he's done examining you, he'll need to report to me right away."
She nodded and fought the urge to be sick again. It was true. Everything that Mary had said. Men only thought of women as pretty little things for amusement, breeding and caring for children. Naturally the doctor would discuss her pregnancy with Arthur before her. If Arthur chose to, he would inform her if the baby inside her was healthy or not.
"At least now we don't have to worry about your arrest." Arthur said as he sipped his coffee. One eye on his paper as his wife glared at him.
"Why?" she asked.
He chuckled.
"No judge will send a woman to jail who's so delicate." he said.
"I wasn't too delicate for you to whip me with a leather strap the other day." Ariadne snapped rudely.
Arthur looked up at her in surprise.
"I apologized for that." he said in a hushed whisper.
She pulled away from him. The inviting smell of coffee made her long for the bitter sweet drink.
He seemed to sense she was angry and sighed.
"I promise never to... well do that again." he said. "If I had known you were already in a... family way, I never would have done it."
"I'm not upset you spanked me." she snapped hotly. "I'm mad you're treating me now like something breakable."
"Ariadne, I won't have you getting emotional. It's not good for the baby." he said rationally.
"We don't even know there is a baby." she hissed.
Their conversation was rudely interrupted by Mrs. Marsh coming in.
"Doctor Winslet is here, sir." she said in a merry voice. "Come on, child." she said to Ariadne and pulled her to a standing position.
~ Ariadne had never even seen a doctor before today and wasn't sure what to expect. She had never been seriously ill and the very idea that she would need a doctor to confirm a pregnancy was silly.
But, Arthur was insist about these things, and Mrs. Marsh helped her to change into a night gown before the older man let himself into her bedroom.
~ "Now, there is no need to be uncomfortable." Doctor Winslet said as he felt her abdomen and breasts.
Ariadne looked worriedly at Mrs. Marsh.
"When was the date of her last cycle?" he asked the older lady.
"Some time around August." Mrs. Marsh said.
Ariadne opened her mouth to argue but couldn't for the life of her remember a cycle after August.
"So, that's at least two months gone." he said. "And you say there has been vomiting as well?"
"Yes." Mrs. Marsh said happily.
No one was even talking to Ariadne. She was the patient wasn't she? She had a voice. Wasn't it her body the doctor was looking at?
"Very good. Well, Mrs. Brandon. I would start your sewing of bonnets and bootees now. You'll be a family of three in May." he said.
Ariadne sat up in her bed and looked bewildered at the doctor.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Very certain." the doctor said happily.
She looked at Mrs. Marsh.
"Please excuse us." she whispered to the older woman. Mrs. Marsh looked affronted to be asked to leave and looked to the doctor for advice.
"It's alright." the older man said.
As soon as the house maid was out the door, Ariadne grabbed the doctor's sleeve.
"Isn't there anything you can do? To make it go away?" she asked in a desperate whisper.
"Make it go away? Mrs. Brandon, you're a married woman. You're husband earns a nice living for you and you have a fine home with a live in servant." he looked offended. "You're not some silly farm girl who got into trouble from the neighbor boy."
"Doctor, I don't want to have a baby." she whimpered.
"Young Lady, babies are a natural product of marriage. There is no reason to not have this child and it's illegal and immoral to end the pregnancy. The choice is not yours to make, young lady. The lord has plans for you and your child and it is not for you or I to change them. Now, I'm sorry. I can't help you." he said in an irritated tone.
Ariadne felt betrayed as the doctor turned his back to her and left.
She felt a horrible sinking feeling creeping over her as her whole life was already planned and mapped out.
Her days of tending to fussy little people who screamed and cried and broke her nice things. Who had to be taught everything and who would never stop coming and wanting attention. Arthur would stay out later and later till, like her own father had done when she was a bothersome child, he would find some mistress to spend time with. Ariadne would pretend she never knew and they would go on like this forever. Two people, not in love, but tolerating each other.
She felt her heart beat willy in her chest as she wanted to scream for the doctor to come back. There had to be something he could do. She wasn't ready to give up her freedom. She thought leaving her parents home for Arthur's would be so much better. Her husband granted her liberty where her father wouldn't. But now, now she would be forever tied down to home and family.
She stood and smoothed out her night dress. Her hand on the door knob when she heard Arthur's voice in the hall, jut outside her room.
"That's good news." he breathed. "I've been worried."
"No reason at all to worry, sir." Doctor Winslet was saying in his superior tone. "She's young and healthy. This is a natural and normal process that happens to women. It's their destiny."
"I'm just relived she's alright. She's been acting so out of sorts lately. I hardly know what to do." Arthur said.
"How do you mean?"
Ariadne pressed her ear to the door and strained to hear.
"Well, she's been so defiant lately. She's been meeting with those women who support the suffrage movement. I'm ashamed to say I didn't respond to her arrest as kindly as I should have. I had no idea of her condition at the time." he said hurriedly.
Doctor Winslet was quite for a while.
"All women change depending on their moods." he said wisely. "Let us hope that it was just a hormonal shift due to the pregnancy. Now that she knows where her responsibilities are, she might seek more pleasure in a domestic life. You must encourage this and never bring up those vile women and their nonsense ideas."
"What if she doesn't snap out of it?" Arthur fretted. "Ariadne is such a kind woman, she would give her last penny to help a child with no shoes in winter. It's the thing I admire most about her. But the past few days, it's like I've been living with a stranger."
Ariadne felt her pulse race in some strange unknowable fear.
"She's even different when we're..." he paused and she could picture him looking embarrassed. "When we're together."
"I see." the doctor sighed. "Well, it's not uncommon for a woman's mental health to be more fragile than a mans. Women don't have the mental fortitude to endure things that the stronger sex does. If it becomes too difficult for you to handle, we can talk to a college of mine about treatment at Thornwood."
"The sanatorium?" Arthur asked. "No, Ariadne isn't like those people."
"Still, if her behavior might harm herself or the child within her, we can not sit by."
"I won't believe she would hurt herself or the baby." Arthur insisted.
"And did you believe she would cut off her hair? I meant to ask you about that." the doctor said in a pompous voice.
"I think she did that just to annoy me." Arthur said bitterly.
"Sir, I'll have my college doctor Denton come and see the both of you. He is an expert at treating women with hysteria. It's a mild practice of simple stimulation. We can see how well that works and then talk more." the older man said.
Ariadne listened as their footsteps moved across the hall and to the stairs. She couldn't hear anything else they said after that.
She felt the sickness come back again.
Thornwood. The same sanitarium her father threatened to send her when she wouldn't act like a proper lady. It was a nice word for a mental hospital. She would be sent there with women who had killed their husbands or were accused of trying to hurt themselves. It was a dark and horrible place. A place for forgetting the things that didn't fit in your life and brought you shame and inconvenience.
Would Arthur really put her there? Lock her up and throw away the key?