24.
~ The silence between them was heavy and made Ariadne's stomach turn.
The driver of the cab seemed to want to take his time as he drove them home. The couple in the back sitting as from away from one another as possible as they passed by the crowded streets of people.
Ariadne looked out her window in an attempt to see the shoeless flower girl again, but only saw a horde of dirty, uncared for children.
She wanted to take Arthur's hand. Wanted him to hold her and make her feel safe and forgiven. But one look at his stony expression, said that she was not going to be let off that easily.
His face looked forbidding and ice cold. His eyes so dark, they looked frightening.
She swallowed hard and looked out her window at the people on the streets.
Somehow, she knew there would be nothing as simple as a spanking tonight. Tonight, everything would change.
~ Her husband, ever the gentleman, helped her out of the cab as it pulled up to their home.
She was surprised at how late it was. The sun having almost sunk into the city skyline.
"Thank you, sir." the cabbie called out and drove the horse away from the curb.
Arthur said nothing as he unlocked the front door and let them inside. The house was dark and she could feel it was empty.
"Where's Mrs. Marsh?" she asked in a whisper.
He didn't say anything as he shrugged off his coat and hat.
"Must have gone to bed early." he said in a low voice. "Maybe she thought we went out to dinner."
"Arthur, I'm sorry." Ariadne said. Relived just to get it out there. She had said she was sorry, there was nothing more now than for him to forgive her.
"I know your sorry." he said.
She had expected him to tell her it was alright, to forget about it and he still cared for her. She expected him to take her upstairs, spank her and make love to her again.
Nothing was happening the way she wanted. Her husband wasn't even looking at her.
"Arthur?" she croaked feeling that horrible moment of tears welling up.
"I think I'll go to bed myself." he said and kept his back to her.
"Arthur. I..." she stammered. "I didn't do it. I changed my mind. I... I never thought about-"
"Thought about what?" he snarled. "About killing my child? About harming yourself? You know that cop who took you in, that officer Cobb? He lost his wife from a botched abortion. He told me she died in horrible pain, bleeding and fever. She left behind two young children who needed her."
Arthur, I just saw this baby as a burden." she tried to explain. "I'm scared. I'm scared of being a mother... of not being able to take care of it. I saw my mother today and she reminded me of how little she did to protect my brother and me from our father."
She wanted to make him understand, but once more lacked the words.
"I just... I didn't think that anything good could come out of having a child until I met with that doctor." she said more to herself than to him. "Then, all I could think about was protecting it. Of not letting anyone harm it. I don't know why my mother let our father hurt us. I just know that... I know that I won't anyone hurt... hurt this child."
Her words came out of her with such honesty, with such ease, it was like someone else had said them. They fell from her lips as though she were in a trance and another person inside her, the person she wanted to be, was talking.
When she looked up, Arthur was watching her. His expression still cold and angry.
"I know you would never go through with it." he said. "You're not that selfish a person."
She wanted to argue. Wanted to tell him she was selfish and just a few hours ago, she didn't want a baby at all.
He stepped closer to her.
"I know that you would never harm our child, Ariadne." he whispered. "Even before we were married, I could sense your good heart. I've seen you give money to children on the streets. I know that you have Mrs. Marsh give Frankie, the delivery boy, porridge every morning because his parents are too poor to even feed him. I know that instead of buying new clothes, you give the allowance I give you to children on the street. You think I don't know, or that it makes me angry, but it doesn't. I know you're a caring person."
She knew she was crying just from the feel of tears falling down her cheeks.
"Arthur, I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. What if I'm not a good mother?" she said and hiccuped.
Her hands went to her abdomen as she felt slightly dizzy again.
Arthur was kissing her forehead.
"You will be." he said. "I promise I won't be like your father, and you'll be a good mother."
She nodded and hoped, he was right.
"Are you mad at me?" she asked childishly.
"Yes." he said quickly. "I'll admit, I was entertaining very... insane ideas about being a single father."
She felt a cold trickle of horror at the idea of having a child and not being able to raise it, or see it grow up. Her husband had every right now to take her child away from her once it was born.
"No." she said weakly as Arthur's arms were roaming up her arms.
"It's alright." he said. "We're going to be good parents."
She nodded and suddenly felt very tired.
"I mean it." she told him. "Before the police showed up, I had decided not to go through with it."
~ "Daddy used to hold my brother under water in the bath tub when ever he was bad or got a bad mark." Ariadne explained as she curled into Arthur's arms.
She could sense there was still some tension, some resentment in him, but he seemed to want to forget about it. Still, his face looked angry.
They were lying in his large comfortable bed. Both of them still dressed except for shoes. Ariadne's feet had taken to swelling and Arthur had unbuttoned his vest.
"You actually think I would hurt any child, let alone my own?" he asked.
"I don't know any other way." she admitted. "I tried so hard to not be like my mother, and now, I'm going to be just like her."
She felt a little sad at the picture of being the dutiful house wife.
Arthur said nothing for a long time.
"Did you let that doctor touch you?" he asked not looking at her.
"He felt my stomach." she told him honestly. "Asked if I felt it move."
"You can feel it move?" he asked suspiciously.
"Not yet. But I suppose I will." she admitted. A shameful part of her fascinated by that aspect of her new and changing body.
Arthur nodded.
"So, he didn't do anything to you... to make you miscarry?" he asked.
"No. I changed my mind. When he talked about heart beats and movements." she shook her head as the memory gave her a chill.
"Let's put this behind us." he said at last.
"You're not angry at me?" she asked.
"Oh, I'm furious, but it won't do any good to be upset with you when you're still in a delicate condition." he said.
"So, you'll wait till the baby is here to be mad?" she asked teasingly.
"Exactly. Hopefully, I'll have forgotten all about this by then." he said.
She sensed he was joking with her, and felt the tightness in her chest loosen a little.
Her husband's eyes were roaming over her body now. Dropping over the loosened fastenings of her dress and how her skirt had ridden up well past her ankles.
"I think it best if you stopped wearing a corset until the baby comes." he said.
"Maybe." she said hopefully.
She swallowed hard.
"Arthur?"
He looked back at her as his hand was loosening up the stays on her dress.
"I want to have this child." she whispered.
His eyes were back. Back to the warmth they had been before. Just as quickly as they had gone cold, they reverted back to eyes she felt safe in.
"I'm glad." he whispered.
He leaned over to kiss her when they both heard an insistent rapping on the front door.
"Who could that be at this hour?" Ariadne asked as her husband looked annoyed.
The couple was roused out of their comfortable bed as whoever was at the front door wouldn't go away.
"Ariadne, stay on the landing." Arthur ordered as the glass on the front door showed three shadowed figures.
She did as she was told but kept an eye on her husband as he opened the front door downstairs.
"What is the meaning of this?" she heard him say darkly. A crisp, professional voice greeted him as two uniformed officers marched into the living room without being asked.
"What's going on here?" Arthur demanded.
"Sir, I'm Doctor Robert Fisher." a skinny black haired young man was saying as he refused to look Arthur in the eyes and seem to distain their home. "I'm here to collect Mrs. Arthur Brandon for commitment at Briarwood sanitarium."
Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I have WAY too many hobbies and WAY too many books to read just now. It's not fair! I'm also doing the Rosetta Stone program to learn Spanish for work. It's a really great program. I'd like to learn French next.