26.
~ She tried to snap her legs shut at the intrusion of Doctor Fisher's hands. He, like Arthur, was so much stronger than her and easily parted them as she tried to move away. Her restrained arms keeping her lashed to the table.
"Stop it!" she shouted at him. His fingers pulling down her panties and she felt that hot, horrible creeper of shame flood her body.
She struggled against the restraints as his hands and fingers found the part of her that only Arthur touched.
"Don't!" she cried pitifully as she felt his fingers probe inside her. She wanted to cry at the horrible violation of it.
"Now, now. Pelvic massage is a very successful treatment for hysteria in women." Fisher was saying as she felt him rudely try to shove his entire hand inside her.
"No! That hurts!" she cried and tried to maneuver her hips away from him.
"We start with the hands, however." Fisher was saying as he worked his long fingers inside her. "We can use the more modern technology a pair of doctors have been utilizing with great results."
He was working his hands in her and she felt her body clam up and tightly and reject him.
"Stop." she whimpered and knew he wouldn't.
"You need to tell me when this starts to feel good." she heard him say as his hand went to her breast and started to unbutton her blouse.
"Doctor?" came a worried female voice.
Ariadne held back a sob and saw the nurse was there.
"Help me." she whimpered as Fisher was quick to remove his hand from inside her.
"Nurse, I'm in the middle of a treatment. What is it?" Fisher said curtly.
"Doctor, her husband is here and he's brought with him doctor Winslet." the nurse said as Ariadne was finally able to snap her legs shut and give a silent prayer of relief.
"Doctor Winslet has no authority here. I'm her physician." Fisher said in a grouchy tone.
"Doctor Winslet is insisting, sir." the nurse said and gave a worried look at Ariadne. "He says he examined her just a few days ago and insist that she is his patient alone."
The nurse spoke in a clear, crisp voice that said she tolerated little in life.
"Nurse, see this woman to her room. I'll go speak to the man." Fisher grumbled as he washed his hands in a nearby sink and shook them dry in frustration.
The door to the exam room slammed shut and Ariadne heard loud shouting of men. Arthur's angry roaring above all the others.
"Help me!" Ariadne cried at the nurse in her white habit as she went to her and released her restraints.
"Now, now. None of that or it's back in the harness for you." she scolded as she released her.
"No, nurse." Ariadne sobbed as she was finally freed. "He touched me. He touched me in places only my husband is allowed to."
She felt pain radiating in her body from where Fisher had put his hands on her. His horrible fingers seemed to have wounded here more that Arthur's spankings or member ever did. She hated her body now and hated the way this so called doctor made her feel.
"That's the proper treatment for hysterical women." the nurse said with a roll of her eyes. "Doctor Fisher will want to start your treatments right away. The massage is meant to relax you. It calms many a head strong girl."
"No." Ariadne sobbed.
"Now you listen." the nurse scolded. "You're lucky to have such treatment available to you."
Ariadne felt her lip quiver.
"This is a nice place with good doctors." the nurse went on. "You should see the state home."
"I'm pregnant." Ariadne hissed.
The nurses eyes widened.
"Please. They came and dragged me from my home because..." she bit her lip. She didn't want to admit her feelings about her baby just a few hours ago. "because I cut my hair and took part in a suffrage protest."
"Well, if you were a better wife, you wouldn't be here." the nurse added. "As it is, I doubt you'll be here long. That husband of yours is very good at making himself unpleasant. He's insisting on either taking you home or taking the good doctor to court."
"I want to go home!" Ariadne said hopefully.
"You'll do no such thing until I see the discharge papers and only doctor Fisher can do that. I can tell by your attitude you're a long way from being well." the nurse huffed and pulled her out of another door and down a dreary hallway painted in a dull white.
The nurse was large and strong. She managed to force Ariadne to come with her even as the other woman begged to be let go.
The building was cold and she had no shoes or stocking on. Also her under garments were left on the exam room floor.
"Please, I just want to talk to my husband!" Ariadne sobbed as the nurse deposited her in a single room that looked more like a jail cell than a hospital room.
Ariadne heard an up roar then from other women in other rooms as the nurse closed the door.
"Another bad girl?"
"In for Fisher's treatments? Oh, lucky thing!"
Ariadne sobbed as they all started to laugh.
~ The foul nurse had locked her in the tiny, closet like room for the night with only one blanket and a thin lumpy mattress to fight the chill.
She had never felt so miserable, never felt so low and so violated. She wanted to be back at home. She wanted to be safe and warm in Arthur's bed. Her husband pulling her close to his body and telling her how much he loved her. Seeing his eyes light up when he looked over her skin.
She cried for all that she had suddenly lost. What if Arthur couldn't get her out? What if she was here till her baby was born and the newborn taken away from her? What if she was here forever? It was a man's world, she was just living in it. She had no rights to anything. Not even the right to speak her mind without being ripped from her home and thrown in a place like this.
Lost in her own misery, she eventually fell into the protective bliss of sleep.
~ She woke up to keys jingling in the lock and a pudgy gentleman letting himself into her cell.
Daylight was streaming through the windows and she wondered how long she had been left to sleep.
"Good afternoon." the man with the dark hair, dark skin and almost baby like facial features said. "Are you Ariadne Brandon?"
He had an accent, but his looks were such, she wasn't sure where his nationality came from. A typical problem in New York. The people so diverse, it was hard to know what they were.
"I am." she said and fought the urge not to lay back down. The dizziness had come back and she was glad she had little to eat the past few days.
"Are you hungry?" the man asked as he pulled a chair next to her bed. She covered her body with the blankets and smoothed out her short hair.
"I'm afraid I've got morning sickness, sir." she said.
"I can have the nurses bring you some tea and soda crackers." the man offered helpfully.
She looked him over curiously. He was in a plain tweed suit, and sensible shoes. Nothing about him was very professional except his attitude, which seemed to be very wise, meek and kind.
"Thank you." she said softly.
He nodded to a lady in a crisp white nurses uniform Ariadne hadn't noticed before.
"Crackers will help to settle your stomach." the man said and crossed his legs, took up a ledger book and an ink pen.
"Who are you?" Ariadne asked weakly. Nothing about this made any sense.
"I'm so sorry. I'm Doctor Yuseff. My work is illness of the mind." he said with a soft smile.
"You think I'm crazy? You're here to make sure I never leave this place?" she accused.
"Do you think others want you here forever?" he asked instead of answering.
"Well," she sniffed and tried to find the answer. "I'm scared. I don't want to be here."
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I want to go home."
"Why?"
"It's safe there. My husband..." she almost choked on the words. "he's a nice man."
"I've been told you've been acting irrationally. If you're so happy at home, why to act that way?" Yuseff asked.
"I am happy at home." she snapped as the nurse brought her tea and a sleeve of salty crackers. She was suddenly very hungry. "It's the rest of the world that makes me unhappy."
"Tell me why." Yuseff said and started writing.
"Well, the fact that it's legal for a woman to be drug kicking and screaming from her home when she's committed no crime is a little irritating." Ariadne sighed.
"Understandable." Yuseff agreed.
"Also." Ariadne swallowed her crackers and thought a moment. "Women aren't protected are they? I live in a nice home and my husband is good to me, but what if he wasn't? The law would protect him, but not me. If I were to divorce him, I would be punished. I would be penniless, friendless. It's not fair how the way the world is."
Yuseff nodded as she went on. Describing how she had no choice but to marry her husband. How her mother had allowed her brother to be abused. How her father hit her. How she was so unsure about marriage and having a baby. How she went to that doctor about an abortion because she wasn't sure she would make a good mother. How she loved to go to her women's meeting because she felt like her own person again. That she didn't want to just be Mrs. Arthur Brandon, but Mrs. Ariadne Brandon. That she cut her hair because it made her feel like the person she wanted to be. That she could never be this perfect wife and mother, and she was sorry that it would hurt Arthur. She even told him about the poor flower seller with no shoes.
"Ariadne." Yuseff finally sighed. "Would it shock you terribly if I told you there was no such thing as a perfect wife and mother?"
She looked at him with a scowl and he smiled.
"This ideal of family life is just an illusion." he admitted. "Everyone feels the same way you do from time to time. We all feel helpless and frustrated. Like we have no control over our own fate in this world."
"But women feel it most of all." Ariadne insisted. "I have no rights, no choices, no options."
"I understand that." Yuseff said. "But you have the choice of letting it make you miserable."
"I'm not miserable." she said quickly. She felt her heart swell at the thought of Arthur and her home with him. "I love my husband. I think... I think I might even want to have this child. But I don't want to be one of those women who smile and act happy when they're not. I want..." she fought for the right words. "I want to find my own happiness."
"What will make you happy?" Yuseff said. "A divorce? Freedom?"
She shook her head.
"It made me happy to have a cause. It made me happy to stand up for myself and others." she told him. "Before, I felt like my only goal in life was to get married and die. Now, my life has meaning. The meetings, fighting for the vote, they all mean something and they matter. I'm not just someone's wife... I'm a person."
She saw that clever, amused smiled dart over his baby face.
"Well, Mrs. Brandon." he said and put his pen away. "I think, based on our interview today, that you'll be released within the hour."
She looked back at him in shock.
"What?"
He nodded.
"I was appointed to make a mental health exam on you. Your husband knows a thing or two about standing up for others to. He wanted the judge to overturn that silly order to have you brought here and I see no evidence you are mentally unfit." he explained.
She felt her spirits take flight as she stared at him; open mouthed.
"I can leave?" she breathed.
"It may take a few hours." he said.
"So, I'm not crazy... for protesting or... not wanting a baby?" she asked.
"No." he said easily. "Not in the slightest. "Rather, it shows you take motherhood very seriously. A thing that should be taken seriously and a woman who worries that she won't be a good mother is more apt to try harder at the task." he said.
She let out a sigh of relief.
"As for the protesting. It's not at all mad to want your life to mean something. If it were, the greatest minds in history would have amounted to nothing." he explained.
"Thank you, doctor." she gasped and wanted to hug him. But thought that was to un-lady like, so she sat on the edge of her bed and ate the soda craters and drank her tea. Her stomach happy at the thought she was going home. Her baby would be safe and with her, and she wasn't a mad woman after all.
For the first time in a long time, she felt a light of happiness bloom inside her.
Yuseff asked her a few more questions about herself and what she planned to do once she got home. She wanted tell him about Fisher and how that so called doctor had put his hands on her, but kept her lips tightly sealed whenever she wanted to say something. It wouldn't do to accuse someone like a doctor of misconduct. Even if he claimed it was treatment.
She was going home. That was all that mattered.