Long time no see friends!
Sorry for my prolonged absence. Life has been stressful and I've been doing some trips for work that have left me exhausted, and then I got hit with writers block :( But I've finally overcome it! So don't worry, I haven't abandoned this story and I am glad to be back :) DH changes gears a bit, but this chapter has some fun in it I hope you will enjoy.
Happy reading!
After a while, the others dispersed, some inside, others elsewhere to grieve alone for their fallen friend. Hermione and Ron shared a look with Lupin and made their way to the garden chairs a way off, giving the other three a little privacy.
"The others-did-did they make it?"
Lupin was the one who answered.
"Yes, but not all of us are as intact as we were when we left."
"What? Who?" Penny said, cold dread pooling in her stomach as she rounded on Lupin.
"George. It seems Snape crossed his path before yours, and there were no second thoughts about the side he picked."
"Is George alright?" Penny asked, panic rising in her chest as looked nervously back toward the house. She wanted to run across the field, but her feet remained planted where they were, afraid of what would meet her when she crossed the threshold.
"He will be," Lupin said, laying a reassuring hand on Penny's shoulder. "Molly is tending to him now, but there is no recovering the ear he lost."
The words reached Penny but she did not quite comprehend them. Her tired green eyes looked back at the warm brown ones watching her, taking in the trepidation staring back at him. He seemed satisfied that his point about Snape being dangerous was finally setting in, so he did not push the topic, though Penny could tell he'd wanted to say more.
"I would take you inside to see him, but I think it unwise for us to linger any longer."
"What do you mean, linger? This is a safe house, isn't it?" interjected Harry, green eyes flashing suspiciously toward Lupin.
"For you, yes, Harry. But we can't be certain the protective charms will hold against whatever spell on Penny's mark allows her to be tracked. So, it's necessary to split you two up.
"No one asked us!" Penny fumed at the same moment Harry raged, "You can't just take her away after everything that's happened! What if the Death Eaters go looking for her, who's going to protect her?"
"While it is not the most desirable of options, it is a necessary precaution. As much as I wish I could keep you together as you rightly should be, we cannot waste Moody's sacrifice by taking the risk. But I assure you, Harry," Lupin pressed, putting up his hand to stop Harry when he opened his mouth to furiously interject again, "I will not allow anyone to harm Penny. Thankfully, my cottage is a ways off the beaten path, so I do not anticipate any unwelcome visitors. But you have my word that Penny is in good hands."
"And how do you intend to explain that one to Mrs. Weasley?" Harry said, looking dissatisfied with Lupin's answer.
"Reluctant or not, she supported the idea when the Order discussed these arrangements before getting you from your aunt and uncles."
"You told them about my mark, didn't you? There's no way she would have agreed, otherwise," Penny said more to herself than him, realizing everyone in the Order knew far too much about her than she was comfortable with.
Lupin turned away from Harry, his features telling Penny he very much loathed the words that he had to say next
"After recent events," he said delicately in an attempt to avoid saying, Snape murdered Dumbledore and abandoned you to serve the Dark Lord, "Minerva and I decided it would be unwise to continue to keep our knowledge about your mark a secret."
"And how is it that nowhere in that conversation did you think maybe you should have included me in that decision?" Penny said, taking a step away from Lupin as the anger began to bubble beneath the surface of her skin.
"We did want to include you in it, of course we did. But you have to understand, Penny, we were afraid—" he faltered, looking for the words that would not further upset her.
"Of me breaking down and wanting to protect Snape like some pathetic girl who couldn't let go?" Penny offered, making Harry groan quietly beside her.
"That's not fair, Penny."
"But is it untrue?"
"I can understand why you're frustrated, but you're putting words in my mouth. There is no need to pretend you weren't working through some complex emotions about Snape, and there is certainly no judgment for the fact you cared for him. All we hoped was to spare you any more suffering on the subject."
"By telling everyone how he marked me so they could pity me even more than they already did!" Penny argued, voice rising now.
"No one pities you, Penny. We love you, which is why his actions are that much more egregious to us. He made his choice, as despicable and hard to accept as it was, but we couldn't let ourselves make the mistake of allowing any lingering feelings or misplaced hope prevent us from taking the measures necessary to keep you both safe," Lupin said, his voice retaining a calm quiet that did not match the distress etched into his handsome features.
"You think after all his bullshit I'd still be in danger of having lingering feelings for him?" Penny spat indignantly.
"There is no question in my mind that you do. He was important to you; under no circumstances should you feel ashamed for the fact those feelings were real to you and take time to fade."
"How many times do I have to tell you, I don't feel anything, except anger at you for not including me in this decision! I'm the one who has to live with this mark, not Snape, not you, me! So, believe me when I tell you, my feelings on the subject are my own, and are certainly not influenced by the fact I did once trust Snape, and was even guilty of giving him the benefit of the doubt after he gave me the mark. But do not insult me, Remus, by suggesting I am so weak that my motivation for keeping this to myself was to protect a man who found it all too easy to treat me as though I have never meant anything to him. You didn't have the right."
"I will make no apologies," Lupin said, voice lower now and his expression hard. "Just because I wasn't the one named godfather doesn't mean your wellbeing doesn't matter to me. I refuse to stand by and leave you to navigate another hardship alone. These things should have never been put on your plate. The adults in your life should be the ones protecting you, not the other way around. So, be as angry as you want with me, but I would make the same decision again if given the chance, because you're too important to me."
"I'm not a child anymore, Remus! I don't need you to coddle me from the reality of my life."
"That is factually incorrect, Penny. You are a child. Maybe you don't feel like it because you haven't been treated like one, but you are. Anyone who would try to convince you otherwise is robbing you."
"Penny," Harry interjected, reaching for her hand when Penny opened her mouth to protest vehemently. "I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but I agree with Remus' decision. I know he loves you as much as I do, and that's why I can understand why he did what he did. You have to understand, we've spent two years sitting on the sidelines watching you fighting battle after battle alone. I can't—we can't do it anymore, we need you to know you can rely on us; you're not alone. Remus is here fighting so hard on this because it's important that you know—we're with you, whatever comes."
The anger in Penny's heart wanted to keep fighting, but the soft tones of her twin reminded her that these moments with him, they were numbered, and the uncertainty of what the future held for either of them made Penny afraid of wasting a single one on anger.
"I won't say I forgive him for it, but I'll try to see it from his perspective," Penny conceded, with a sigh as she pushed the hair away from her face.
"I'm not asking for anything more," said Harry with a relieved smile.
The pair stared at each other for a moment, a chill rippling up Penny's spine as she let the truth of their reality sink in.
"It's not fair," she said quietly to Harry.
Harry's jaw tightened several times, as though there was something he wanted to say but couldn't quite get it out. He'd understood the words she'd left purposefully unsaid. He knew that this parting would be different this time.
"No, it's not." It was Lupin who responded, and the pair turned to him. His hand ran through his long hair as he frowned and went on, "But Kingsley has been working on learning as much as he can about the magic involved with that mark. I promise you, you can return as soon as we know it's safe."
His promise was sincere, and Penny could not hold his ignorance against Lupin, but she and Harry both knew that soon would not be soon enough when it came to Harry's plans.
So she nodded, and turned back to Harry, her eyes scanning the face that was so much like James'. Had James lived, Harry might have been mistaken as a twin, but Penny couldn't help but note how the boy standing before her lacked the relaxed air that had been so prominent in her father. The task that destiny had set upon Harry's shoulders, it weighed on him and Penny knew he was struggling to carry it. But there was nothing she could do to help him, all she could do was hope—hope and leave nothing unsaid.
"I'm afraid, Harry," Penny whispered, the corners of her lips trembling. "What if—"
"Don't, Penny. For both our sakes. It'll only make this harder," Harry said before knocking softly on that door between them.
Penny opened it automatically, leaning forward and pressing her head against his chest, not wanting him or Lupin to see the way emotion stung at her eyes.
It was too cruel, much too cruel to be asked to let go of yet another family member. She didn't want to see him go, not like Sirius had gone—without knowing how she yearned for him to turn.
"Whatever happens, a part of me is always here," he whispered both in her mind and ear, finger rapping lightly against the side of her head.
There was a strange kind of solace in those words, because that connection between them had always defied all reason and explanation, and she'd always been able to trust in it.
Nodding, Penny pulled away from Harry's chest to wipe her face with her sleeve. "Even though you're annoying and I'm still angry with you, I love you, alright," Penny mumbled, looking back into those clear green eyes that didn't betray even a hint of apprehension about what he was about to embark on.
Getting on her tiptoes Penny gave her twin a kiss to the cheek. "Tell George I'll come see him as soon as I can."
"I love you too, Penny. Try to not give Remus too hard of a time, and don't do anything rash, will you? " Harry said, reaching for Penny's hand and giving it a small squeeze before she turned away from him to follow after Lupin.
Lupin gave Harry a clasp on the shoulder and then led the way to the gate, Penny doing her best to focus on him in an attempt to bury the emotions threatening to burst out of control. But as the barrier protecting the Burrow loomed nearer, that anxious heart inside of Penny made her turn. Even though she knew it would break that pattering thing inside her chest, she looked back at her twin one last time.
He stood tall and annoyingly handsome now that he was less gangly these days. So different from the boy Penny remembered chasing in the summers of their youth.
Ron and Hermione stepped up on either side of him, having returned when they suspected the argument had subsided and goodbye's were being made.
The glimpse of him, just as she knew it would, impressed upon Penny the truth that was set before them; the very same truth she knew Harry was thinking on too and begging Penny to one day forgive him for.
While Lupin was moving forward under the impression that when he returned with Penny, Harry would be here waiting for her, they both knew that wasn't the case.
The task Dumbledore left him to save the world, it would take him from the safety of this house and far from Penny's reach. Whatever lay ahead for Harry, he would be facing it without her—and that space in Penny's mind, the one she was so used to Harry occupying—it would go silent, leaving her to the mercy of herself.
"Don't let him do anything stupid," Penny called to the only two people she could ever trust her twin to.
"We've had plenty of years of practice, mate, so worry about yourself for once," called Ron.
Hermione didn't respond, instead she gave a choked sobbed and sprinted after Penny, throwing her arms around her neck when she finally reached her. The impact almost knocked Penny over, but she caught herself.
"Oh, Penny. We'll be fine, but you—do be careful," Hermione said tearfully.
"I'm in good hands," Penny assured the pretty girl, as she wiped several tears from Hermione's cheek. "You know what he's like, Hermione—just don't let him play the hero—don't leave him. Swear to me you won't."
Hermione looked up at Penny with those tearful eyes and said in a choked whisper, "I swear." Penny nodded and gave a small smile of thanks, Hermione's expression telling Penny that she felt guilty for leaving her behind.
Despising the reminder of the fact Harry had chosen Dumbledore's words over her, Penny let go of Hermione with a last squeeze to the hand.
Turning back she gave Harry a last wave, eyes lingering on his face, committing to memory his every feature. Would they be different the next time she laid eyes on him?
The wind rustled through his hair, as she wondered, blowing his bangs off his face and revealing that lightning bolt scar that had started this all, and for a solitary moment Penny could have sworn it glinted in the moonlight, but before she could be sure, Lupin was taking Penny by the hand and coaxing her gently her across the barrier.
She stumbled after him, craning her neck to watch her brother, who watched in return. Their green eyes, the ones that Lily had given them, held the other as though they were afraid they might forget the exact shade of green, or almond shape. And then, before Penny was ready to let go, Harry was gone.
They'd always been together, from the moment of their conception; through the horrible years at the Dursleys, and into their new life at Hogwarts. It had just been a fact of life, them being together. Harry was a part of Penny, a part she did not know how to live without. Each step she took away from that cornerstone of herself left her feeling a little more wayward.
Who was she supposed to be without Harry, and what would the future hold now?
The trembling hand holding Lupin betrayed Penny's fear of what the answer to that question would be. She'd failed to hang onto those things she'd cared most for, and now she stood on the precipice of eternity, alone, wishing more than anything she could have a second chance. If only time would let her try again.
But if Snape had taught Penny anything, it was people like them were never given second chances. He'd burned down everything in his wake, perhaps because he too loathed how futile it felt to reach for things that would always be just out of his grasp.
There was no going back now, time would not relent or hear her complaints, so she too needed to find her own way forward—without any of them.
It took Penny a moment to realize they'd come to a stop and that Lupin was watching her, concern wrinkling the sides of his eyes.
The look sent a flash of annoyance rippling through Penny's veins and her head gave a painful throb. For a split second, she wanted to scream, or perhaps even hit the him for it, being so fed up at this point with being treated like some fragile vase he wanted to lock up forever because of some unwarranted fear that someone might scuff her.
What Lupin failed to realize was that this approach made Penny often feel like the things that had been done to her; her chips, cracks and missing pieces, somehow made her less valuable, and Penny could no longer handle the pressure to remain pristine, wanted nothing more than to be the one to break herself into a thousand pieces, so she would never have to be looked on again as something to be protected and hidden.
Then, she wanted to take those pieces of herself and build something entirely new, entirely her own.
"Are you alright, Penny?" Lupin asked when Penny winced outwardly from the throb in her head.
"It's just been a long night," Penny lied.
"I know that it's hard, what with all that's happened tonight, but I promise I'll bring you back just as soon as we know it's safe."
Penny looked away from those piercing eyes of Lupin's. There it was, another meaningless promise—like Sirius's to come back for her. Had he remembered it when he was walking with carefree ease into the afterlife, leaving Penny alone to the darkness of her miserable life? Or Snape's promise to take her with him into whichever hell he chose. He'd looked her straight in the eyes, more keenly aware of the sincerity with which she'd made that request than any other person could possibly be. What had the point been of his promise that day? What had Snape gained from the cruelty of it, or was she just so insignificant that it never crossed his mind and he'd only said yes to shut her up.
Whatever the answer, Penny could no longer bear looking up into another man's face like some naive, hopeful child. Though she acknowledged her irritation was unfair to Lupin because he had no way of knowing what Harry had planned, evenstill, Penny did not delude herself into even entertaining the idea she would ever see the Burrow again.
Not as it was—full of love, laughter, and memories shared with people who were already changed by the war, like George, who'd lost his ear, or gone, like Mad-Eye, left dead in that forest, magical eye unaware its bearer had long since passed. The days of playing quidditch in the summer heat; Mrs. Weasley bringing them all iced pumpkin juice, and discussing plans for the new term at Hogwarts were gone and never coming back. But that was the way of life, and Penny wouldn't waste her energy begrudging it anymore. She would find her own way forward.
While Lupin wanted her to remain a child, the fact remained that in three days Penny would be 17 and in the wizarding world that meant she was an adult. Whether she returned to Hogwarts, or not, Penny now had to start making decisions about what she wanted her life to be.
Having not the energy to have this discussion with Lupin, Penny nodded, and Lupin pulled her close to him, looping his arm protectively around her before he apparated them away to his cottage.
Penny's stomach did a sickening backflip, not for the fact she hated apprating, but the distance between her and Harry made her feel suddenly empty.
This was her future—silence. Even the cottage before her stood dark and silent, a physical manifestation of what Penny imagined her own head to look like without Harry there to fill it.
Lupin made his way across the dark yard, Penny in tow, as he pulled out his wand and unlocked the door. Penny blinked when a flick of it sent light glowing through the kitchen.
It had been a year since she'd last stood in this kitchen, though the memory of that last exchange felt far more distant. An entirely different man had stood before her now, but to be fair, Penny too had been a different person then too. So different, in fact, Penny couldn't quite remember what it'd been like to be her.
In an attempt to escape Lupin's scrutinizing gaze, she glanced around the room. It looked as though it had not been lived in for some time, reminding Penny he was still keeping things from her.
Walking to the icebox, as though she wanted something to drink, Penny paused, hand on the handle. Hanging on the door there was an old photo that Penny knew was obviously a wizarding one because the occupants in the photo were moving around and smiling at each other.
The breath caught in Penny's chest as she watched a young Sirius recline against a much younger and skinnier Lupin. They appeared to be laying on a blanket on the grounds of Hogwarts. Sirius grinned quite handsomely and almost lazily up at Lupin from Lupin's lap while Lupin glanced shyly down at the handsome boy.
Beside the old photo was a wrinkled piece of paper that had Penny's name on it. Upon investigating further, Penny realized they were her OWL scores. The same ones Snape had dug out of her trash and forced her to acknowledge when she'd been unable to due to grieving over Sirius' passing.
Here they stood, Penny and Sirius, forgotten in this cold and empty house, while Lupin enjoyed his new life with Tonks.
Feelings of betrayal sending magic flickering dangerously to the ends of Penny's fingertips, she cleared her throat and quickly looked away.
"I'm going to go lay down," she said, making for the hall.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat first?" Lupin said, voice tinged with concern.
"I don't have an appetite after—" Penny paused, images of Moody's lifeless body flashing across her mind.
"No, of course not. Is there anything else you need from me?"
"Not right now, but if I do, I'll ask," Penny said, attempting a small smile and failing miserably.
Miraculously, Lupin accepted that answer and did not press Penny further, allowing her to escape into the confines of his guest bedroom.
Door securely shut, she raced to the window and threw it open. Clambering over the side of it, she rolled into the dirt below just as her body was engulfed by a ball of blue flame.
It took all Penny's self-control not to yell out from the pain of it. But not wanting Lupin to find her like this was a strong enough motivator to keep her mouth clamped firmly shut, her teeth biting the inside of her cheek just to be sure.
When the episode ended, Penny lay panting in the dirt, looking up at the starry sky above. It had not been that long since she'd gone shooting into that same sky from the Dursley's backyard, and yet so much had changed since then.
Never again would Mad-Eye get to see these stars. The guilt of the part Penny played in this fact sent anger bubbling through her veins. She was tired of being this person, of being a burden to everyone around her. She wanted to be something entirely else, but Lupin's stifling protectiveness made it impossible to figure out what exactly.
Penny did not bother to climb out of the dirt for sometime, feeling somehow comforted by the cold dirt beneath her. There were no lies in it, no attempts to make her feel a sense of comfort that would never last. It was brutal and hard just like the circumstances of her life—like her.
It wasn't until the sound of someone apparating just outside the gate met her ears that Penny sat up, adrenaline putting her on high alert. In the distance, Penny could make out someone walking down the garden path at a brisk pace.
They weren't wearing Death Eaters robes, and their stride seemed oddly familiar. But it wasn't until they got close enough so the light from the kitchen could wash over them that Penny recognized the short blue hair of Tonks. They paused for a moment on the bottom step, as though debating whether to continue or not, and then they hopped the steps and entered into the kitchen without knocking.
Scrambling to her feet, Penny clambered back through the window, cast a quick cleaning charm on herself and crept for her bedroom door where she pressed her ear against it and listened. She heard low voices talking on the other end, but could not make out any words.
With Lupin's werewolf senses, Penny knew trying to open the door without his noticing would be impossible, so she reached into her pocket and pulled out the extendable ear she'd taken to carrying with her.
As quietly as possible, Penny sat on the floor and slid the ear beneath her door and let it roll down the hall as far as it could. Placing the other end in her ear, she listened.
"Remus, you can't keep avoiding this. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for her," came Tonk's low, urgent tones.
"I would not call being sensitive to the fact she's just gone through a horribly traumatic ordeal and trying to deal with being cast aside like she's nothing by arguably the most important person in her life, avoiding it," was Lupin's crisp reply.
"Penny is as strong as they come, and it's quite frankly infantilizing of you to suggest, after she's explained numerous times she's come to terms with Severus's betrayal, that she doesn't know herself well enough to make her own decisions. Honestly ask yourself, Remus, how she's going to feel being the last one to find out? Now more than ever, Penny needs us to show her we believe in her capability and that she's an integral part of our lives. Otherwise, I'm afraid she may end up feeling like she doesn't belong anywhere now that Severus is gone."
"In any other situation, with any other two people, I might agree with you, Tonks. But you do not seem to understand the gravity of their connection in-terms of Penny and Severus' relationship. He's her coordinate, and his absence will have devastating effects on both her physical and mental wellbeing. Regardless, I think I know Penny well enough after all these years to be able to recognize when she's hiding her true feelings. Perhaps she hasn't allowed it to sink in yet and she does feel indifferent, as of now, but there will come a time here soon where she can no longer keep pretending and that dam holding all that volatility at bay, will break. How can you ask me to go to her, particularly after Mad-Eye today, and say, oh by the way, we're having a baby and want you to be the godmother. And that's not even getting into the fact it's barely been a year since her own godfather died!"
"Remus! You don't get the luxury of finding the right time on this one! Very soon now I won't be able to hide it anymore. Penny is a smart girl and as soon as she works out the math, she will know you were keeping this from her and who knows what reason she will imagine in her head for your doing so. The fact is, the longer we wait the more likely she will feel we were keeping it from her. While I want to respect your relationship with her, and feelings about moving on from Sirius, I cannot do it at her expense. I'm done arguing with you about it, so if you won't tell her I'm pregnant, then I will."
The end of the extendable ear fell from Penny's grasp, the rest of the conversation lost to the floor. But Penny did not care, she could not listen to another word; could not stand to be in Lupin's house another moment.
She needed to get away, get far from the room that was closing on her, and the feelings that were churning inside of her.
She was on her feet before she knew it, climbing back out the window. In her haste, she slipped, sending a lamp crashing to the floor, but still managed to make it out the window, landing on her hands and knees.
She could hear their voices calling her name, so she got quickly to her feet, heart hammering in her chest as the words replayed over and over again in her head—we're having a baby.
Penny had always loved Remus in a way that she could never describe. It was different from the way she'd once loved Snape. It was easier somehow. Effortless almost. She'd connected with Lupin in a way that had always made her feel unconditionally loved and cherished just the way she was. He always built her up and cared for Penny in ways she'd never experienced before.
In Penny's opinion, Remus was the most beautiful man Penny had ever laid eyes on, and once she'd dreamed away many days imagining spending the rest of her life with him. Was not this love true love and Remus her soul mate? That had been the most central truth to Penny's life, that is, until she'd learned about Sirius and Remus.
It'd been an adjustment, coming to terms with the fact that she wasn't the love of Remus's life, but seeing the way he and Sirius' loved each other and found a happiness she'd never seen in either on their own, Penny was able to let go of the girlish dream of hers and see that maybe the love she shared with Remus didn't need to be as she imagined and it could fill a completely different part of her than romantic love did.
He was essential to her, another part of herself that reminded her of all the good there was to be had when the world got dark. Because of his friendship with James and Sirius, he understood Penny in ways no one else could, but she was beginning to suspect maybe that feeling wasn't mutual, and just maybe, Penny knew nothing about who Remus Lupin was or what he wanted from life.
The man she loved, who'd hurt her so horribly in his grief for Sirius, he would not move on so quickly from the love of his life? The dating, Penny might have been able to understand, but to go and start a family barely a year after Sirius' passing? That was an offense Penny could not forgive, made worse by the fact that yet again, Remus had deemed Penny too fragile to be trusted. No, instead he lied to her because the reality of the situation was, he didn't respect Penny enough to see her as his equal.
The sound of the bedroom door opening met Penny's ears, and her pace quickened. She was trapped somewhere between needing to get away and refusing to be seen as pathetic enough to run away, but nevertheless, the adrenaline pumped through her veins as she made for the gate.
"Penny, give me a chance to explain," came Lupin's voice.
She glanced back to see him climbing out the window after her.
"Save your breath, I'm not interested, Remus. It's your life, if you're happier without me dragging it down, you could have just said that."
The blood in her veins was like ice as she uttered those words, each syllable, a tear through her tender flesh. But they were true words she was sharing with him despite the fact he hadn't deemed her worthy of his own truths. They reflected the horrible pain that was threatening to overcome her—she'd never been enough, never would be enough.
"Penny, please, wait. My life could never be happier without you, and if anything it's been me who has been dragging you down. Your the most important person to me—"
"STOP LYING TO ME," Penny shouted, still refusing to look back at him, as she raced for the freedom just beyond the gate, her chest heaving. "You couldn't even tell me—a baby—for merlin's sake!" she spluttered, her thoughts moving a thousand miles a minute and making it hard to articulate exactly what she was feeling. "A fucking baby, Remus! I didn't even know you two were dating."
"It's not that I didn't want to tell you, I didn't know how. With Sirius's anniversary and then Snape—"
"Don't you dare use them as your excuse," Penny growled, vehemence dripping from her every word as she crossed over the gate and spun around on the man just on her heels. "You had every opportunity, and you didn't even bother to try. But you know what the worst part is, I don't even understand why you didn't try—after everything we've been through, why couldn't you trust me?"
Lupin came to a sudden halt, hand on the fence, looking like a man who'd just collided with a brick wall. Behind him, the half-moon glowed brightly, shadowing his handsome features and deepening the agony in the lines of it.
"I was afraid," he all but whispered after almost a minute of silence of him watching her stand before him, bursting with fury.
"Afraid of what exactly?" Penny pressed crisply, refusing to acknowledge that seeing such sorrow on his face would normally cause her pain.
"That you would think I've forgotten I don't carry that hole with me wherever I go, too."
"Oh? Is that it?" was Penny's unmoved reply. Lupin recoiled slightly from the response, as though stung by her indifference, but Penny felt no remorse and continued, "It is curious to me that in your attempt to assure me that you haven't forgotten Sirius, even though you're dating someone like you very much have, you opted to forget me instead, but whatever makes helps you sleep at night. I'm in no place to judge you for your choices, Remus, but I have come to realize I'm under no obligation to be affected by them any longer. So, tell Tonk's I'm happy for them, and know this baby is lucky to have a parent like them, but they will need to choose another godmother.I can't accept, not when I haven't the slightest idea what real, unconditional love feels like." Penny said, jaw set and chest tight.
"You don't mean that," Lupin said in barely more than a whisper, eyes glassy and cheeks wet. "You know I have always—" he said, taking a step toward her as though closing the physical distance between them would bridge the emotional counterpart that was only widening by the second.
"The only thing I know, Remus, is time-and-time again you have chosen anything but me. But I won't let you anymore, because you're not the only one who gets to make choices."
And Penny turned, feeling not regret, not doubt, nor trepidation. This was what she wanted—to no longer be the one dictated to.
"Penny, we can talk this through, if you'd just give me the chance—," He was pleading, and she glanced back to see the agony that accompanied it etched across his features. How different he seemed from the man she met on that faithful day at Hogwarts, when he'd stood over his desk and smiled mischeviously down at her, eyes alight with interest—stealing Penny's heart and convincing her she would always love him.
But looking back at him, there wasn't even the slightest twinge of affection, like with everything else lately, she felt nothing.
"I hope being a father helps you find whatever you're looking for, Remus," she said, the warm brown eyes widening when they met the green and he realized he could not reach her, that Penny had shut off that part of herself that could be swayed by him.
And then she turned on her heel, leaving Remus; her broken heart, and life she hated, behind. Whatever waited on the other side, it would be hers and hers alone.
"Penny, stop!" he cried before the loud crack drowned him out.
She stumbled upon landing, crashing onto her bum and eyes blinking back tears as she tried to ascertain where exactly she'd apparated to. She hadn't even considered where she was going when she'd turned on her heel, she'd only focused on the need to find a place where she felt okay and accepted being herself.
Looking around, Penny quickly realized she was sitting on the pavement of a dark street lined with rows and rows of dilapidated brick houses, and sitting before her was the porch of one she knew all too well.
The heart in her chest went plunging through her stomach as Penny stared up in abject disbelief at that house, who's key she still carried in her pocket.
In what horrible universe would her magic have brought here of all places? All she could do was gape for several moments at the dark, silent home before her. She wanted to be angry, at herself; at her weakness; at the hold he still held onto her, but then a twinkling of a very bad idea caught hold of Penny and she got to her feet.
Making her way to the porch, she reached into her pocket and pulled out that damned key she hadn't been able to part with, though she tried on several occasions. Penny paused when she made it to the door, her heart hammering a little too loudly for her liking, morbid curiosity making her wonder if he'd changed the locks or not.
She knew there was no way he was actually home, and was likely cleaning up after the evening's mess and getting a mouthful from the Dark Lord for failing to catch Harry, yet again. So, she felt safe entering. But he would know she'd been here, and she disliked the idea that he might think her appearance was some kind of desperate attempt to find him in her anguish and beg him to stop being such a prick.
Maybe that was her motivation, maybe her heart was still too weak and had brought her here because of some deeply buried hope he might come back. But Penny decided she could not allow such feelings to win any longer, which meant she could not leave any doubt about how exactly she felt about the man, and so she made a decision to ensure he knew.
Pressing the key into the doorknob, she turned and it clicked open, much to Penny's surprise. The door creaked open, Penny sending the fire bursting into life in the fireplace, illuminating the all-too-familiar sitting room.
Closing the door behind her, Penny paused, bracing herself for the onslaught of memories and feelings she was sure might bring her to her knees, but none came. Looking around, she felt nothing. Not pain, fondness, not even remorse. There was only emptiness.
The relief that she was not as weak as she worried she might be only served to encourage her impulsive decision making. Taking the room in three strides, Penny pulled the book that revealed the secret staircase and bounded upstairs, not entirely sure how much time she would have before he realized what she was up to.
At the top of the stairs, Penny turned left, flicked the light on in his room, and found exactly what she was looking for, still sitting on the bedside-table where she'd last seen it.
With great tenderness, Penny picked up the letter that read:
—could ever have been friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I think her mind's going, personally!
Lots of love, Lily
She could not leave this remnant of her mother behind, and certainly not in the possession of the man who was the reason for her death. It now rightfully belonged to Penny, who folded it and tucked it into her pocket before returning to the stairs without so much as glancing toward the room that had once been hers.
She did, however, pause at the study that she'd slept in during the summer she'd stay with Snape. Focusing on her magic, she summoned something from inside, which came soaring into her outstretched hand.
Looking down at the cover, she traced the words Peter Pan with her right forefinger, remembering how the contents of this very book had once sent her into a spiral of despair.
The quote in question that had done it, echoed through Penny's head as she contemplated how differently she felt about it now.
Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.
Forgetting—that had been the thing a naive Penny had been most afraid of in those days. In her ignorance, she'd wanted nothing more than to cling on, even when there was nothing left to hold onto. She'd been governed by fear in those days, she realized now. Nothing more than a scared little child that hadn't been able to accept letting go, even when doing so was better for her in the long run. But not anymore. She'd learned the hard way that needing other people would always result in her enduring the pain of their absence, because no matter how many promises they made, nothing lasted—especially love.
And that was why Penny was now able to feel that forgetting was, in fact, a mercy that allowed her to escape the clutches of the lies love had once fooled her into believing. The irony of it all though, came in the form of this book— it would be what enabled her to gladly welcome that goodbye she'd once been paralyzed by.
Goodbye and good riddance to the lies her memories used to beguile her into desperation. But not anymore. She was free of the weight of them, and him.
When Penny returned downstairs with the book in hand, she stopped just before the fire and watched it crackle for a bit, letting the sound of it wash over her as she basked in that feeling of power—there was nothing stopping her anymore.
Surely he was aware of her presence here by now, but she didn't care. He hadn't changed the locks, was that arrogance, or acceptance of what he knew was to come? Whichever it was, Penny's arm moved, the book extended toward the flame, hovering over it until it caught and the pages began to curl.
Penny walked to the curtains first, wanting to lay bare the secrets he evidently tried so hard to keep hidden here—the truth of his life that he didn't want the world to see.
When they were blazing and the smoke caused Penny to cough several times, she moved to the couch and tossed the book onto it, the same couch he'd once used to protect her from Yaxley, after using Penny as bait to discover the truth about Umbridge from him.
A house of lies, that was what Spinner's End was, for both of them. But unlike Snape, Penny would not be beholden to them, and so watched it burn to the ground; the life and home she'd allowed him to make her believe they shared. It would be nothing more than ash, its presence never to entice her with false promises ever again.
Heat searing her face and lungs protesting, Penny returned to the door, pulled the key from her pocket and looked at it. Our home, he'd once called it when he'd given this to her. But it was just one of his many deceptions; an illusion to distract her. What would he do now without the excuse of his upbringing to hide behind?
There was nothing left here for Penny, so she closed the door with a snap and did not bother to look back because she had nothing left to attach her to the cursed place. The only path for Penny was the one that led forward, straight into the depths of hell.
"I must admit, Penny love, even I wasn't prepared for how much this crazy bitch look of yours would please me," Amycus said as Penny drew nearer the sidewalk, those dull brown eyes of his alight with malice as he looked between the house ablaze and the girl walking willingly toward him. "I'd been terribly disappointed when Severus left you behind that night, but now I see the folly of my impatience. I must thank him for so kindly awakening that monster within you that I've just been dying to meet. For that, I owe him my sincerest gratitude."
"If you're headed that way now, I think I might tag along with you. I'd like to ensure he receives my thanks directly from me, just so he knows how deeply I feel indebted to repaying him," Penny said, offering Amycus her hand.
A terrible smirk rippled across his thin lips, and he said, "Nothing would make me more pleased."
That hand of his took a hold of hers, sending the scar on her belly throbbing as she remembered, vividly, the day that same hand had thrown her to the ground and plunged his dagger into her abdomen, burdening her with this curse for his own amusement.
Despite that truth, her fingers curled around his, Penny feeling no qualms about the fact she was playing right into his hand. Let Amycys have his game, so long as Penny could make Snape pay for what he'd done, she did not care what Amycus would do to her; what such an alliance would cost her.
This was her choice and she wouldn't allow herself regret it.
Penny walked up the drive that led to the Malfoy Manor in silence beside a humming Amycus, who did not bother to let go of Penny's hand once they'd appeared before the gate. He was leading a lamb to slaughter, and she was the lamb, but so long as she took Snape with her, Penny would go willingly.
For being as late as it was, the manor was oddly alive with movement when they entered. Servants were rushing around, and conversations could be heard from the rooms they passed as they walked in the direction toward what Penny knew was the Dark Lord's study.
She did her best not to think of the bizarre sequence of events that had led her to this hall this evening, or Moody, who'd died trying to prevent precisely this outcome, and instead reminded herself that inaction was no longer an option she could live with.
When they entered the Dark Lord's study, the occupants did not even bother to so much as glance in their direction, being too focused on the figure standing before the fireplace.
The snake—like face, however, turned, red eyes finding Amycys, who halted his progress through the room, before rounding on Penny, a curious but annoyed glint to them.
Her choice or not, the sight of the Dark Lord filled Penny with such fear that the hand clasped in Amycus' began to tremble uncontrollably.
The person nearest them was Wormtail, and upon setting eyes on Penny, he let out a little squeal that drew the attention of the rest of the occupants of the room, which included Lucius, Alecto, Mulciber, Avery, Nott and Dolohov. Apparently, the new minister, Rufus Scrimgeour, had covered up the fact a breakout at Azkaban had occurred. It didn't much surprise Penny, but it made her think of Draco, and how relieved he probably was to have his father home.
"What's this?" came the soft, cruel tones that put her on high alert again.
"My Lord," AMycus said with a bow of his head, "I found your pet here, burning down that house Severus insists on keeping in that filthy mudblood neighborhood. It seems she's come to her senses and left that brother of hers in hopes of a reunion with her beloved fiancé."
"And why does she think her master would grant her wish after she allowed that meddlesome mongrel in her possession to do this," Voldemort said, motioning toward the wound sliced across his right cheek.
The sight of it surprised Penny, because it was not at all what she expected to see when he turned his face toward her. Surely it was much too large to have been inflicted by Fleamont, but then, Fleamont was no ordinary cat. In lieu of the skinny lines one normally associates with a cat scratch was a singular slash that cut deep into the face and seeping a strange black fluid.
"The pressure to honor familial bonds often subvert reason, my Lord. Something Alecto and I can empathize with having had to free ourselves from our own unfortunate connections. That is why I beseech you on her behalf, to look past such a foolish transgression, and grant her the mercy you would grant any of us, and believe in her devotion to you, has left that miserable boy behind."
Amycus let go of Penny's hand, and got onto his knees. His figure no longer obscuring her vision, Penny could see his brother, Alecto, clearly now, handsome blue eyes narrowed on the pair of them and pretty mouth tight with annoyance.
"I think you owe your brother Amycus your gratitude, my dear Penelope," Voldemort said, turning and making his way slowly toward her like a predator considering her in its boredom. "Mere moments ago, I was contemplating pulling you apart piece-by-piece until that coward you share a name with came to face me. But Amycus here has so pertinently reminded me that, while it is most unfortunate you share his blood, with my benevolence you can rise above such a tarnish. But more particularly, I would be loath to part with such a useful pet, because of one as insignificant as Harry Potter."
He stopped before Penny, who was shaking from head-to-toe, yet she still forced herself to meet his gaze. But even as Voldemort decided not to kill her before she could accomplish any of the things she'd set out to, Penny felt no relief. The energy surging from him was too volatile to feel at ease. He was angry, topo unfathomably angry, that Penny felt sure one wrong word from her might change his mind completely, so she did nothing but quiver and force herself not to flinch when that loathsome finger touched her cheek like it always did. The gesture to remind her how just how powerless she was before him, and how but a single finger of his could send her withering in pain.
This time was different, however, and Voldemort would not be satisfied with merely watching her shake. No, he was on a quest to repay her actions that evening, and so the nail of his pointer finger pressed cruelly and relentlessly against her cheek until he broke the flesh. And mirroring the cut along his own face, Voldemort slowly carved his way across her cheek, finger lingering against the stringing flesh when he'd finished. He studied her, red eyes scanning his effort with approval, before taking in the rest of her; chest rising and falling in small heaves; fists clenched so hard her nails were digging into her palms, making them bleed; and green eyes caught like a doe in headlights, completely unaware a cruel end was speeding toward her much too short life.
The only dignity Penny was able to maintain was to subdue the gasp of surprise that rose in her throat. But the malevolence in his red eyes was enough to send her heart stuttering, something that seemed to greatly amuse him.
And then, when Penny wasn't sure she could endure another moment of contact, he retracted his finger and turned to the others in the room, who were watching the exchange with a mixture of emotions; some, a morbid curiosity; others with a deep look of disappointment. Apparently they'd hoped Penny would be the one on the receiving end of Voldemort's wrath tonight and now they feared the chosen victim might be one of them instead.
"Our young friend, Penelope here, Potter or not, is granted amnesty. She has chosen to serve me, and the Dark Lord protects his own, so you would all do well to remind your brethren that are not present that lifting even a finger against my pet will be treated as nothing less than treason."
The group mumbled their understanding and Voldemort turned back to Amycys.
"Take the girl to Severus' chambers and ensure she does not go wandering until Yaxley brings us a leash for her. Severus can make arrangements when he returns from the errand I have sent him and Rowle on. Then return to me, I have need of you."
Amycus got to his feet again, and inclined his head in obedience, so Voldemort turned back to Penny.
"Please me, Penelope, and you may find me benevolent enough to entertain the idea of a summer wedding before you return to Hogwarts. Displease me, and I will be forced to rebuke you in manners you may not like."
The threat hung in the air over Penny's head. She did not want to know what those 'manners' would consist of, so she merely bowed her head to indicate she understood, still afraid of speaking in his presence. This response seemed to please him, because he chuckled softly before turning back to the crackling fire, leaving Amycys to take Penny by the hand once again and lead her out as the others muttered after them.
With her fury at Lupin now thoroughly dissipated, Penny's brain had the capacity to consider that perhaps the decision to go running into the nest of the devil in her vindictive anger had been a tad bit rash, if not down right suicidal.
Noone joined the ranks of the Death Eaters without paying a price, a steep price. And now that she was in his clutches, there would be no turning back, no matter how much she might want to. But Penny could not let herself be swayed from this path. Being locked away in the confines of Lupin's home worrying about Harry would have been equally as miserable, of this she was sure.
If anything, Penny understood herself well enough to know that she would never find peace unless she made sure Snape paid for his lies, and what better way to accomplish that than in the place he least expected to find her?
What would the man do now that he would be forced to reckon with all his choices? Would he allow himself to lose face by backing out of the engagement, or would he go through with it, putting Penny in the prime position to burn down his life just as she had his house.
"What do I owe you?" Penny said, glancing sideways at her much too quiet companion.
"I haven't decided yet," he replied with a contemplative click of his tongue. "But don't worry darling, you won't like it when I come collecting," he said, rounding a corner on the third floor and pushing her toward a door at the end of the hall. "So do be sure to make it worth the cost," he said, pausing to look down on her with his hand on the door knob. "I would hate to see you pay such a price, only to be disappointed."
That cruel grin rippled across Amycus' mouth for the second time that night, repulsing Penny, but she did not let that show on her face.
"You'd know a thing or two about disappointment, being one yourself. But fret not, Amycys, I'm not, and do not intend to become acquainted with it anytime soon. So, by all means, come collecting when you realize how insignificant you and your need to validate that ego of yours are to this game," Penny replied, pushing his hand from the door knob and turning it herself.
It would have been nice to leave him there looking stupid, but in his annoyance with her ungratefulness, he grabbed Penny by the hair and twirled her around so her back was pinned against the door.
Giving her hair a painful yank just to get his point across that he would not tolerate such behavior, he pressed his mouth against her ear and whispered,
"You're going to ruin the fun of this, Penny love, if you provoke me into punishing you for that loose tongue of yours. Now be a good girl and remember your place so I needn't enjoy the pleasure of reminding you how the dirt beneath my feet has more worth than you."
Turning the door knob, Amycus opened the door and dumped Penny hard on the other side.
"Oh, and do try to have enough dignity to pretend you don't like it when Snape finally fucks you."
A mixture of fury and humiliation burning at her face, Penny wanted nothing more than to jump back to her feet and tackle him, but he snapped the door shut in her face, the locks clicking into place behind him. There would be no following him, and even if she could undo his charms, the Dark Lord would surely punish Penny for leaving.
So, she laid there, chest heaving, staring at the dark ceiling for a long moment contemplating exactly what she'd gotten herself into.
From one prison to the next, that seemed to be the endless cycle of Penny's life. At least this one offered a bit more comfort than the ones she was used to. The Malfoy's really had more money than Penny could fathom, she realized when she flicked on the light and looked around the suite she was occupying. It had four separate rooms, including a kitchenette, study, bedroom and an enormous bathroom.
Standing there looking at the tub which really was more like a hot tub, Penny decided a soak was all she wanted, still being filthy from the ordeal earlier that evening. Washing her hands clean of Moody's death felt like the only natural place to start.
Several minutes later, Penny sat on the toilet wrapped in a very cushy bathrobe. She'd dumped the contents of several bottles of various liquids into the water as it filled and now watched as lovely vapors of gold and silver rose steadily from the bubbles that looked more like clouds than actual bubbles.
The tub was nearly full when Penny was about to derobe, and a commotion from the otherside of the door made her stop.
She hadn't bargained on Snape making his appearance this soon. Surely he was fuming and mulling over what she'd done. She'd felt certain he would feign indifference and not return to his quarters until forced to. Had she expected him, she would not have opted to being caught in such a state of undress. It was not the way she'd imagined this conversation going and she kicked herself for letting her guard down too soon when the door knob turned and the bathroom door opened.
They stared at each other, Penny blinking in confusion as the grey eyes gave her appearance a scrutinizing once over.
"I would drown you in that tub for this stupid little stunt of yours if I wouldn't be bored to tears without you," Draco drawled, pushing the door shut behind him and making a b-line for her. "Why must you be an inconvenience I can't live without," he went on in irritation, only pausing his stride to stop before Penny and yanking her into a bone crunching hug. "What the actual fuck were you thinking," he whispered into her ear.
Penny's body relaxed in the arms of her friend, her angry heart remembering affection at the sight of his pretty pale features. "I know you won't understand, but I couldn't live with it—with myself until I made him pay."
"Wouldn't understand?" Draco said, pulling away and looking almost furious with her. "After all that bullshit he put you through to only leave you behind that night. Yeah, I'd say I understand, Penny, and have even been furious on your behalf for all the cheap whores he spends his time with; like they can make him forget you of all people, hah! He's not even charming enough to disrespect you that way, and you're like a thousand times hotter than him. Of course I know the bastard needs to be taken down a few notches and maybe thrown down a flight of stairs, but couldn't you just have just opted for something petty like publishing something in the prophet about how small his penis—you know I have the connections."
"It's not like I had much choice in the matter! Amycus found me at Snape's house after I set it on fire. I wasn't going to get away if he didn't want me to, so I figured I'd come on my terms, not his," Penny argued back.
"Excuse me, what? Did you just say you burned down Snape's house?" Draco repeated, looking as though he did not believe his ears.
"Yeah? It felt like the natural place to start," Penny shrugged, realizing now that the choice may have made her look like a crazy ex-girlfriend.
Draco's pretty grey eyes furrowed for a second and then he burst into laughter. After a minute of that, he managed to control himself long enough to say, "Don't take this the wrong way, because I'm still irritated at you for putting yourself in danger just to spite him, but you're fucking brilliant—burned down his house—how's he going to explain that one."
"You don't think it was too much?" Penny asked, feeling slightly nervous about appearing to be too affected by Snape.
"No," replied Draco, features suddenly stony. "I won't offend your sensibilities and tell you what I've been imagining doing to him for what he did to you, but trust me, he deserves it, all of it and more."
Draco's words felt honest to Penny, who let out a little sigh of relief before nearly jumping out of her skin when a rush of warm water washed over her feet.
Whirling around, Penny realized she'd forgotten about the tub and it'd overflowed. She made to scramble for the faucet, but Draco had it with a flick of his wand, and the mess cleared in another.
"Come on, let's get in, Merlin knows that I could use some relaxation after the stress of being your friend. I swear, if I go prematurely grey for this, I'm going to tell your future husband what a nightmare you are before he marries you," he said, tugging his shirt over his shirt and revealing a sleek, very toned, pale chest, before reaching for his belt buckle.
"T-together?" Penny spluttered, feeling suddenly self-conscious.
Her tone caught his attention and he gave her a strange look. "What, are you nervous about not being able to resist me?" he smirked after a moment, and tugging his belt free in what normally would have been an absurdly attractive gesture, were he not her best friend.
"No!" Penny said, red faced and furious. "We've just never—" Penny tried, Draco's arching eyebrow making her feel even more lame, until, in her annoyance she gave up and dropped her robe before she could stop herself.
Marching for the tub and refusing to meet his gaze, Penny was stopped by Draco's arm as she made to get past him.
"What is that," he said in a tone of disgust, finger skimming her thigh and eyes darting to the place between them. "What are you, sasquatch? Don't tell me you made Ginny go down on you like that. And your legs—oh honey, Snape isn't attractive enough to let yourself go this much."
Turning on Draco in embarrassed bafflement, she realized he was talking about the fact she hadn't bothered to shave herself in well—she didn't know, but it'd hardly been a priority considering the circumstances.
"I haven't had the time," she said, trying to tug free of him.
"Yeah well, as your luck will have it, you have suddenly come into all the time in the world being under house arrest and all. Go sit on the toilet, I think I have some wax in here," he said, pushing her back the way she'd come.
"Wax for what!"
"For ridding yourself of the evidence of your pining for him."
He was in the cupboard now, pulling out a purple looking tube of thick liquid.
"Maybe I just like it natural," Penny said, defiantly not moving from the place.
"That's well and nice, but I've endured enough stress from your blundering and will not let you fuck up this revenge quest. So sit," he said, pointedly, when he returned to her.
"And how exactly is this going to help me with that?"
"How?" Draco repeated, forcing her onto the toilet and kneeling down beside her. "When Snape breaks and comes trying to taste the goods," Draco explained, looking purposefully down between her thighs as he unscrewed the lid, "And he will," he added, when Penny looked like she wanted to argue. "You can't be caught with this bush. No. If you want to maintain the control, you need to leave him frothing at the mouth so not even ten galleons can leave him satisfied. This is just common sense stuff, Penny," he finished, pushing Penny's knees apart so he had better access to the mess that waited between them.
"I don't want him frothing at anything—ouch!" she squealed when the hot liquid touched the delicate skin there.
"Shut up, Penny. You know I hate it when you lie to me," Draco said, grey eyes giving her a reprimanding look a second before he ruthlessly tore the now cooled liquid from her in a single, much too skilled, yank.
Penny let out an unearthly yowl of pain, having been completely unprepared for the pain of it. But Draco was already pouring more before Penny could gather herself.
"No, I can't. The harlots can have him, nothing is worth this—" Penny said, trying to squirm away but Draco would not let her free that easily.
"Penny, I'm not friends with second rate anything, so if you care about this friendship, you're going to need to grow a pair. You took a bludger to the neck, you can't possibly expect me to believe this is your breaking point," Draco said.
Another rip and another screech that made Draco's lips curl. "You're so dramatic. What will you do when I get to your legs."
"Legs?" Penny said weakly. "Can't I just shave those?" she said, feeling suddenly inclined to beg, but the door opened again and a woman entered, making Penny feel even mortified for being strewn, naked, across a toilet, Draco half-naked, kneeling between her legs, hand on her crotch.
The servant did not so much as bat an eyelash, and Draco turned and said "Bring me the wine and leave the food in the sitting room," as though the situation were not in any way unusual.
The woman uncorked the wine, filled a glass, handed it to Malfoy, who downed it before reaching for the bottle and handing it to Penny.
"Just drink and shut up so I can focus. And I swear to Merlin if you squirm again, I'll tie you to the bed and finish."
Nearly choking on her wine, Penny did as she was told, wondering silently how she ended up with the most eccentric of best friends. But she could not help but appreciate Draco and his strange way of supporting her. He often reminded her that even though everything around them was fucked up, there were still reasons to enjoy her life. And this evening, he was it.
When he'd finished torturing her, Penny was thoroughly tipsy and they ended up in the tub, where she explained the night's events to him, and he told her about how his summer had gone and the return of his father. When they were done recounting the misery of their life, they turned to a much more pleasing topic, the sexy boys in their life.
Draco had been enjoying a scandalous liaison with one of the servants, and when he was done recounting his escapades, he mentioned to Penny that Sebastian and his father were now frequent visitors of the manor, but explicitly forbade her from doing anything stupid, since all eyes would be on her, and Snape might be vindictive enough to target Sebastian to make her behave.
Too drunk to even get dressed, Penny stumbled, naked, to her bed, Draco getting dressed and tucking her in with a kiss to the cheek.
"He doesn't deserve you, Penny. I swear to make sure he knows it," he whispered before leaving, but his words fell on deaf ears, because Penny was already lost to darkness, trapped in the turmoil of her dreams and the clutches of that monster within her that was trying to get free.