Chapter 3: Scars

Kyani's POV

The master – Makarov – finally arrives back at the guild in the late afternoon. I had heard about his giant-then-dwarf act, so I'm not surprised by Erza's – and everyone else's – devoted respect for the midget in the orange tracksuit that enters through the door.

I won't bore you with the details of my official entry into the guild; I'm introduced to the master, paperwork is signed, and Mira offers to stamp me with the guild's symbol. I decide to get it on the right side of my neck, the same vibrant green of my eyes. Once I walk back over to the others, newly marked, Gray and Lucy "welcome me to the family" with a hug, while Erza contents herself with a hearty handshake and Natsu slings his arm around my neck again for a few seconds.

I also learn about Gray's habit that I most certainly can get used to. Looking away from the table we're all sitting at, I order another drink from Mira. Once I have my order I turn back to the table…and almost drop my drink. Everyone is acting completely normal, nothing is wrong with them. There's just something different about the scene. Namely the lack of clothing on Gray's ripped body. I can't help but stare, mainly at his abs that are so perfectly defined, and his shoulders, wide and proud like I remember his father's being. Luckily he has underwear on. But as I'm ogling his abs, I realise most of my view is blocked by reams of bandages, and I frown thinking of the cause for their necessity.

"Kyani?" I drag my gaze up to Gray's mouth, from which the question came. "What's wrong?"

I'm glad Lucy answers for me; I don't think I can work my mouth just yet. "I'm not sure she's used to your stripping habit, Gray."

The young man – no male with a body like that could be called a boy – in question blinks, then looks down and swears in Carain. He picks up his clothes from the floor beside him, hastily pulling them on. By the time he's finished I've slowly made my way back to the table, sitting down and never taking my confused eyes off him. I look to Lucy for answers.

"He has a habit of taking his clothes off really fast and without realising," she shrugs, as if it's nothing to be presented with this perfection on a regular basis.

"So I'm going to my apartment for the rest of the evening, so you can come with me now and we'll get your new room sorted out," Lucy announces, looking at me as she gets up from the table. Apparently the stripping incident is common enough to forget about, so I let it go. She turns her now sarcastic gaze to the others. "I won't bother inviting you all, as you'll probably invite yourselves."

Natsu jumps up excitedly, a huge grin on his face. "Yes! Free food, let's go!" Without even waiting for the owner of the apartment, he dashes off, Happy trailing behind him at the prospect of food.

Gray sighs, shaking his head. I can't tell if he's resigned or still disapproving.

"Always thinking of his stomach," he mutters, glaring after the Dragon Slayer.

"Let's catch him up," Lucy says, looking worried, "before he destroys my apartment trying to get in."

"I agree," Erza stands up. "We must not let Lucy suffer for Natsu's carelessness."

"Let's go," I say, grabbing Gray's hand with my gloved one and pulling him off the bench. As I make my way to the door, electric shocks make their way up my arm, originating from my hand. I realise my mistake; I took Gray's hand out of instinct – it was a regular occurrence between us when we wanted the other to follow – but our more mature ages have made the action more…intimate, less playful, than before.

And yet…Gray doesn't pull away. Running through the door ahead of the others, I barely hold in a smile as I let my imagination wander through possible, dream-fulfilling reasons for that.

"We'll never catch up to them when he's got this much of a head-start," Lucy complains. "Especially not while he's thinking about food."

"Wanna bet?" I challenge, trying not to enjoy the sensation too much as I draw Gray's arm around my waist and grab the other to do the same. He makes a surprised, questioning noise, but doesn't otherwise complain.

Thank you, whatever deity may or may not be up there.

Holding my palm out to my side facing downward, I clench a fist, and the area of rock Gray and I are standing on cracks, an irregular shape, big enough to carry us both, beginning to rise. Gray seems to catch on, and his arms tighten around me.

"Oh, this is going to be fun," he chuckles excitedly.

I grin at him over my shoulder – trying to keep my cool about having his face so close to mine – and wink. "Hold on tight," I warn after quickly filling the hole in the pavement.

Then we take off.

As I described to the others before, I have reached speeds such as this – where the buildings and streets blur into one string of colour and stone – before, and even faster than this sometimes, as the need arose. Nevertheless, as Gray and I zoom through the air, the wind raking its refreshing fingers through our hair, our laughs mingle in a stream behind us, the thrill of the mock chase too much to ignore.

Following Gray's directions to Lucy's apartment, we catch up to Natsu in no time at all. My grin widens as I imagine his expression as we speed past him.

"See ya, loser!" Gray calls as we pass him. We're going too fast to see Natsu's face. Shame.

It's a shame that we have to stop this rollercoaster, but both Gray and I want to see Natsu's reaction when he sees us standing in front of Lucy's apartment before him. So we both step off our transportation before I launch it into the beautiful river, disposing of the evidence.

I take the time I have before the others catch up to gaze around Lucy's neighbourhood. The river is beautiful, needless to say, and the stone bridges and path are really cute. The houses are close enough together to be considered neighbourly, but distant enough not to look cramped. The two-storey wood-and-brick structure seems warm somehow, giving off the vibe of a home, and the joy and laughter resonating from the stones of the path in front of the house and the fireplace inside the apartment agree with me.

Loud footsteps interrupt the music of the stones, and Gray and I both turn, smirking, to face Natsu and Happy as they round the corner, incredulous and almost furious at the sight of us.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I did warn you of the wicked speeds," I tease, relishing in the fact that I beat the Salamander at something. It probably won't happen again, and certainly not when it comes to fighting.

Lucy and Erza appear around the corner, breathing hard in their attempt to save Lucy's apartment from a breaking and entering.

"Did you beat him?" Lucy asks. "Is my apartment safe?"

"It's intact," I promise. "We managed to get here before Natsu."

The Dragon Slayer glares at us while Lucy breathes a sigh of relief.

"Come on then," she says. "Let's go in normally, then you can have some food, Natsu."

Natsu suddenly forgets his grudge against me and Gray when Lucy mentions food, and I'm glad for his distraction; I thought he might not like me from now on, but it looks like he just isn't used to losing. I'll let him win next time, so his ego isn't too badly hit.

Lucy lets us all with her key before leading us upstairs to her share of the building. Natsu and Gray burst in while us three girls walk calmly into her apartment, and I smile at the overall homely effect of the decor.

The apartment was mainly one whole room, with a door off to the side that leads, presumably, to the bathroom. A table is placed in the middle of the section directly in front of me, and a bed is tucked into the corner against the wall at the back behind that, with a largish wardrobe against the left wall between them. Further to the right against the back wall, a large window, then a smallish wooden desk. To my right, against the same wall as the door I've just walked through, a chest of drawers sits, and the stone fireplace I sensed before protrudes out of the wall slightly beyond that. On the other side of the fireplace, a kitchenette gleams cleanly. (I don't know if the wardrobe or the kitchenette are right, but just imagine they are if I've got it wrong.)

"There's a wheeled bed underneath mine," Lucy explains. "So you can use that one." (I know that one's not right, but I kind of need an extra bed there for Kyani.)

I smile at her. "Thanks, this is really kind of you. Your apartment's really cool too."

"Why did I never know about the wheeled bed?" Natsu demands.

Lucy makes a face. "Maybe because I never wanted you to stay here overnight."

"Yeah, flame-brain," Gray smirks. "You'd just destroy all her stuff."

"You're no better," Lucy reminds Gray.

He frowns. "Don't lump me in the same group as that thing. I'd know to be careful with your stuff."

Lucy sticks her tongue out at him. "You're being lumped. And the only difference is that you'd take a little longer to destroy my stuff. You'd probably use them as targets to practice your lance-trick or something, whereas Natsu would just explode the whole place, testing the strength of his attack."

"Why am I always put next to Gray?" Natsu fumes. "We were put in the same team, now we're being put in the same imaginary groups. I can't stand being with that stupid popsicle!"

"You think it's bad for you?" Gray challenges, rounding on the Salamander again. "Imagine being me, when I'm in the same group as you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Natsu steps closer, looking murderous.

"Work it out for yourself, idiot!" Gray retaliates.

Then, they both summon their magic into their fists. At the new threat, I automatically recoil, knocking into Lucy to my left and tripping over Erza's foot behind me, sending me sprawling. Still I scramble further away, to the very edge of the landing, the furthest away I can get without tipping myself down the stairs. The whole time, my terrified gaze is fixated on Natsu's fists. I barely feel the dull pain of my fall as I lose myself in mental images, memories, once again…

The windows of nearby houses burst through the heat inside them, the bright angry culprits exploding through the new holes, crawling up the foundations that remain untouched…

The old man from the other end of my street, screaming and rolling on the floor in a desperate and futile attempt to douse the malicious flames that had latched onto his clothes…

The burnt broken glass that sliced, bit and cauterised my entire body as I tried and tried and tried to claw my way out before I was crushed or asphyxiated…

"Kyani!"

That voice definitely isn't in my memory; the memory would have been, and would be, a lot less terrifying if the owner of that voice had been there.

My vision focuses back on the present, and Gray's concerned – and apologetic – face is the first thing I see. Then I notice the others nearby, all staring down at me like there is something wrong with me. Maybe there is, considering the number of times I've had a freak-out today. My mind won't let me forget.

"It's a hard thing to forget," Gray promises in Carain. Had I said that out loud?

"I forgot something this time," he continues in the Common Tongue, his expression indicating that he is berating himself. "Deliora must have made it so much worse, too."

I nod in agreement with his speculation, then turn to the others – looking up as I am still on the floor – to explain. "I used to have a phobia of fire when I was younger. The night of Deliora only made it worse because fire was everywhere on the night of Darli's destruction."

"I should have stopped Natsu," he whispers, almost to himself. Then, startling me, he whirls back to the Dragon Slayer. "You should have stopped, too, though! You saw her reaction, and it was easy to see that she was staring at your fire!"

Natsu opens his mouth to snarl something back, but I jump to my feet. "Stop it, Gray!" I grab his arm. "He didn't know! It's not his fault. Anymore than it is yours."

Gray narrows his eyes at Natsu, but says nothing.

"Apologise to him," I say, softly but firmly. "Say you're sorry for snapping at him."

Gray's angelic face tightens in anger, and his closes his eyes and breathes deeply for a few seconds. But he opens them again, his eyes only slightly less narrowed than before.

"Sorry, Natsu." I can hear his strain as he attempts not to spit the words. But the strain indicates he wanted to mean the words, and that's good enough for me for now.

Natsu doesn't respond to him, but directs his gaze to me saying: "I won't do it again." I don't know if he's promising that to Gray – who has obviously, and curiously, been affected by my discomfort – or to me.

"Natsu," I say gently, "you can't just not use your magic. Don't worry about me; you just surprised me this time. I'll be fine, I can stick through it. Lord knows I've stuck through worse," I add under my breath.

But Lucy is close enough to hear me, and she turns to me now looking tentative. "Um, about that 'worse' bit," she says gently, as if not to startle a frightened animal. "When you fell, the leg of your pants kind of rose a little, and…the light from the window made them easier to see, I think, but…." She doesn't finish, but I know what she's referring to.

I sigh. "You weren't meant to see them. No one is. I never wear dresses anymore for this reason, and I try to wear my gloves as much as possible." I look around the hallway outside Lucy's apartment. "Come on, there's no use standing around out here. Let's get in there, then I'll explain."

We settle ourselves in Lucy's apartment in silence, and eventually Lucy and I take to sitting on her bed, Gray pulls a chair from the table to sit next to me past the foot of the bed, and Erza and Natsu sit at the table. Everyone is watching me, and I have to take a few moments to steel myself – and my self-esteem – before deciding to go for broke, rolling up my pants legs to my knees and taking my gloves off. Lucy must have been the only one to see them, because her expression is slightly less shocked than the others' as they all stare at the numerous criss-cross, haphazard scars that cover most of my calves and shins and my palms. That they can see anyway.

"Most of my body is actually covered in scars like these," I tell them, watching as their expressions turn from bad to worse. My insecurity can't stand the scrutiny any longer, and I try to hide my franticness as I adjust my attire back to how it was before. I wait another few minutes, gathering myself, before speaking again.

"When Deliora attacked, Darli was in chaos; nobody knew what was happening, and most of the time – with the exception of family and very, very close friends – it was every man for himself. When you're at the tender age of seven, you tend to get lost in the crowd, and no one notices you as they knock into you because of your height. My own less-than-average height, as is still evident now, didn't help matters, and I often got knocked over. This meant I was slow trying to get out of the city and away from the danger, especially since I couldn't even see above the crowd to know which way was the best way to go.

"I tried going through a street I saw that had less people. I'd thought that maybe I can find a way out that way, rather than risk getting knocked over and trampled again. Wrong choice; I got near the end of the street, explosions and screaming all around me and climbing over rubble and broken glass from the windows, and there it was." I pause, lost in memories again. "Deliora loomed, just fifty feet in front of me.

"I froze in terror. You've seen its face; the stuff of nightmares when you're seven. I saw a monster directly before me, destroying my city and killing my friends. I couldn't even move when it attacked, obliterating the cathedral, directly to my right. I didn't even seen the rubble, didn't know it was falling…until at least three tonnes of superheated stone, wood and glass buried me."

Turning to the only person who matters right now, I watch as Gray stares at me in horror, a replay, a visual image, of the incident flashing through his eyes, picturing teeny-tiny vulnerable me crushed under so much jeopardy and fear.

"I was actually quite surprised at myself," I say, looking back at my gloved hands and flexing them in front of my face. "I worked out pretty quickly that no one was coming to get me, that I would have to get out of there by myself. So I did that, in the only way that was available to me; using my hands against the sharp burning wreckage and pulling myself out. My palms were wrecked before long, and the flimsy material of the dress I had on that day did little to stop the glass and other stuff on the floor underneath me from tearing across the skin of my body, too."

I close my eyes in the pain of what happened next; a pain that was far worse than what I had just gone through. My explanation switches to Carain, so that only one person – the one person here who I know I can trust with this – can understand.

"I ran to find my parents, to see if they were alright. I found them outside, alive if slightly bruised. I was worse than them; my dress was in tatters, blood and soot covered so much of my dress and my skin, and my hair was a mess. I ran up to them, telling them how glad I was that they were safe. Father said nothing and turned away. Mother made a face of disgust, and said, 'Death would have made you more presentable than this. I would have preferred it that way too.'" I tighten my hands around my knees as I realise sobs are shaking my body, the tears burning their way down my face like a burst dam.

A chair scrapes beside me before I feel myself being lifted by gentle hands, then set down on a new lap on the bed. Gray's scent of wood-smoke and spiced wine envelopes me, and I bury my face in his shirt, letting it all out knowing it will only stop on its own.

That was the worst thing she said to me. I have always dreamed of fairytale endings, more so when I was younger, and in fairytales the princess is always beautiful. If I were to get that magic, I needed to be beautiful, too. She had not only insulted me and violated the code of motherhood – to love their child unconditionally and tell them so – but had destroyed my chance at a fairytale.

On that very same night, the princess I had hoped to be heard that she had lost her prince.

Yet here he is now, embracing me, comforting me…out of pity. Yes, that must be it; he pities me because he recognises that I will never achieve my dream now, now that my ugliness has been unveiled. The rumour will probably make the rounds of the guild by noon tomorrow, and then it will spread to the whole town. People will point at me in the street, whispering to each other: 'That's her. That's the ugly one with the scars. She will never find a husband. No one will love her'…

"You're wrong."

The sentence in Carain startles me out of my depression, and pull back to look at Gray in confusion. He stares back, slowly reaching up to wipe my face of the remaining tears, like he did when we were younger.

"You're wrong," he says again, "because I know – I can see – that you believe her. She's wrong because there is no possible way that you have ever been anything but the stunning person I see before me, both as a girl and as the young woman that you are now. Why do you think those pigs at the café called at you earlier today?"

My heart swells at the compliment – coming from him no less – and I laugh slightly, tightening my arms around him again.

"He's right," a different voice, in Carain, agrees with Gray's comments.

We all turn in surprise to Erza, who sits there smiling at me and Gray. The red-haired warrior reverts back to the Common Tongue. "I'm by no means as fluent as you two are, but I have studied Carain for a short time. I translated bits and pieces of that explanation, Kyani, and have gathered that you have had parental issues. Never listen to one who sounds as cruel as your mother, as Gray is right; they are almost always wrong."

I smile at her gratefully and she returns it. Her expression then turns confused with a touch of amusement turning her lips up at the corners again.

"Although, I am curious," she continues, and I raise my eyebrows at her. "Now that I have revealed that I understand a bit of Carain, I can ask you what I wanted to back at the guildhall; before you two played to us…why did you call Gray an alcoholic?"

It doesn't matter how depressed and self-deprecating I was a moment ago, that is the final straw; as Gray buries his face in my hair, his soft embarrassed chuckles ruffling my curls, I burst out laughing.

Whoa, done, finally. Hope I didn't make you guys wait too long for this. I also hope I gave more depth to the characters; someone mentioned the fact that I was Mary-Sue-ing Kyani, but I hope I've sorted that out now, and that you realised that I needed to wait a bit, to add suspense and mystery to Kyani's past. Her insecurity is her – debatably – unreasonable hope for that magic seen in happy endings, and her self-image, made worse by her scars and her mother. I also read about people saying that Gray was a little too OOC for their liking; with the stripping and fighting Natsu in this chapter, I hope that's sorted it out to your satisfaction.

Keep sending me helpful reviews like that, and I'll either do my best to adjust to your requests or PM you explaining why I've done something a certain way.

Fly on,

NitnatRide