Yall: a cliffhanger! Me: Wait, what? Did I? Oh. Didn't realize.
Lol, I didn't even realize! Anyhow, I tried to get this in quick, but yall wanted longer chapters, and I don't have a life, soo… um, yeah, sorry it's been a bit later than I hoped. Annnyhow, enjoy(:
I looked around highly disoriented, confused, and (obviously) hurting. Edward backed up and gave me a bit of space, his eyes shining with concern.
Awareness slowly filtered in and along with it the pain became more sharp. Edward sucked in a breath next to me. "Bella, Jasper just collapsed…" underneath all the pain, stings of guilt were strum. I was making Jasper hurt the way I was. Black spots dotted my vision, and I realized with a jolt that I was hyperventilating. "Breathe, Bella. Breathe." His voice came. The soft velvet of it soothed the newly ripped hole in my heart and-
Why wouldn't it go away? Yes, I felt a bit of it in my dreams, but it was gone the second I saw him. I realized just how much better things had been. This- this was so much worse. I- I had to do something, but…
That something wouldn't make Edward very happy. I wanted- no- needed to cut. I needed it all to stop, because if it didnt- I didn't even want to think about it.
I made to get up but Edward pushed me down. "Not until Alice gives the okay." Great. So now he has Alice watching me. He stilled, ran a hand through his hair, and whispered, "Alice, I'm not sure if I can stop that from happening… it's either that or let her go… yeah, I know that… What will she think of me? Isn't it better to…" his voice faded away as I desperately retreated further into my mind. Distantly, as if in a dream, I heard Edward call my name… but here was nothing. I felt nothing. Was nothing.
I didn't know when it happened, but suddenly there were distant voices all around me. It was hard to tell if they were Whispering or talking. I felt so distant… it was nice. A escape from the pain. Somewhere, I was dimly aware that I was making Edward increasingly worried. I should care. I didn't. I was in the nothingness. I was in the abyss…
I never wanted to leave.
—
EDWARD POV
I woke Bella up, she'd been screaming and by the time she was awake, she'd been thrashing. I knew she dreamt of me. Of what I'd done to her. I'd never forgive myself. I'd never let her know, either. She'd insist that it wasn't my fault when it was. She woke up and I heard Alice's thoughts screaming in panic, 'Edward, Jasper collapsed.' I looked at Bella, confused, but most of all it was obvious something was… wrong. Very wrong. It was like day one again. Her breathing didn't slow down, if anything it got faster. I sucked in a breath, connecting the two… 'Oh Bella, Jasper just collapsed…' I thought to myself, though a few seconds later I was unsure of weather or not I said it aloud or not. My attention was shifted to Alice who had a brief vision of Bella cutting. Moments later she tried to get up. I stopped her…
And then Alice had another Vision. Bella, going into a canonical state because she couldn't cope. This… was bad.
Very bad.
—
Voices muffled around me, but here there was no time. Nothing. I just drifted. It was… peacefully in a way that reality was not.
Voices filtered though, muffled and quiet. One caught my attention. It was… soft. Perfect. Like velvet. "Bella, please… I cant- I can't live with myself knowing that at its base, I caused this. I caused all of this, please come back to us…" it was tempting. Something within me stirred, bringing me to the surface… awareness filtered in.
…I was warm… something was… beeping… a heart monitor… a cold hand brushed my hair out of my face… the ticking of a clock… white…. Someone's face… they were pale- almost as white as everything else… I blinked a few times, disoriented.
"Bella?" Velvet. It was…
"Edward." I whispered, smiling.
"Bella, you scared me!" Edward smiled, wide, and all of a sudden, he was kissing me… my heart skipped a few beats, drumming out a irregular rhythm, and-
He was gone. Eyes dark as the night, and- "Edward, you need to hunt." He twitched. He never twitched. If he twitched… it must be so hard for him to control himself. "Edward… I'm making it worse, please. I won't get into any trouble while you're away." I couldn't help but notice Edward wasn't breathing.
"I'm alright, love. Being with you is better." Even his velvet voice sounded strained.
"Edward, please… for me?" I didn't want to say it this way… but… "you not hunting poses a risk to me, you know."
Edward grumpily left, leaving me with Jasper and Alice.
At least he went to hunt.
It had barely been half a second by the time Alice and Jasper were in my room. Alice, unsurprisingly, squealed, "Bella! Girls night!!" I internally groaned. This was going to be a loooong night.
—
JASPER POV
I could feel the constant, dull pain with Bella. I had for the past few days too. I'd shared my findings with Carlisle… mainly for her health. Right now, Alice was watching over her. I felt… Sympathy? For the human Edward loved. It was… interesting to say the least. We were all dangerously attached to Bella. Something I wasn't sure was good. I served with the military for some time. I had seen this kind of thing take countless men to the grave. I worried for Edward. If the… Girl didn't make it, Edward… wouldn't either. His emotions were strong and dangerous shortly before we returned… I remembered it well.
(Italics still broken- but they start now.)
Edward ran into our house, (it wasn't home, because home was where Bella was. For all of us. I didn't have a strong bond with Bella, but I knew enough to say she was family.) Bringing with him a storm of hurt, anger, and pain. Intense pain… it sucked the unnecessary breath out of me, and weighed me down till I was on my knees. "Edward," I gasped, "you're back…"
Edward nodded, "we have to go back to Bella… I can't do this- I can't stay away…" in a quiet voice, he murmured, "I'm not strong enough to stay away as I should." Strong enough? The fact that he could stand shocked me. Alice was at my side, helping me into a chair moments later. She caught Edward's eye, and dread pooled into him. "Do it, I must see." He said. Alice nodded, and her gaze became glazed. Ah, so Edward wanted her to look at her future. Made sense.
Moments later dread flooded, stronger now, into Alice and Edward. "We have to go," Alice said, "now."
(End italics)
Yes, I remembered it well. I also remembered the pain radiating off of forks, Bella at the center. The strange part, the part that I should've mentioned sooner, was the way that the pain would seem to explode like a tidal wave, and then.. there'd be nothing. I knew now why and what it had been. Now, I could feel the light throb of the healing hole in her heart. Earlier today, the hole had been ripped wide open. Before I even realized what was happening, I'd collapsed under the strength of it… but it had faded. It was still stronger than normal, but it was better. I shuddered at the memory of earlier. That… it had been a sin to leave.
And leaving- that was my fault, wasn't it. If I had better control, if I had- I stopped myself before my emotions went out of control. I heard Alice softly calling my name and went upstairs. We'd discussed it earlier. Bella had to heal herself- j couldn't help her all the time. But… the girl needed a break from this. Today, I bring with me that break…
Or so I hoped.