Break

by Baileys

A case and a long buried secret at the beginning of Tony and Gibbs deepening familial relationship. Tony/Gibbs Father/Son and Team focused. Set between seasons 1 & 2. Three new chapters added today. ***COMPLETE***

5. Chapter 5

Gibbs resolutely stared at the doors, using the time on the ride back up to relax before putting his game face on. A dull ache had started to build below his left shoulder and he rubbed his chest to ease away the discomfort. It had been more difficult than he'd anticipated holding on to his infamous stoical attitude during their conversation. What with Senior's utter arrogance coupled with the new information Ducky had told him about the kidnapping, Gibbs didn't know how much longer he could keep a level head. The hope that talking to Mr DiNozzo father to father would somehow convince him to give up the missing details looked to be nothing more than a pipe dream. Ducky could probably get more useful information out of Craig Bower than he could Senior at this moment. The problem was the more time that passed without a lead the more time Henry Miller had to make his next move and that was time Gibbs simply could not afford.

They needed a new plan and no matter how much he didn't want to put Tony through it, Senior was leaving him with very few options. Gibbs was formulating his next move when the elevator doors opened to reveal Abby, standing mere inches from his face.

"GibbshaveyouseenTony?" She greeted him with less calm than usual.

The dull ache sparked into a spasm.

"He's fine." Gibbs grated out releasing the sharp intake of breath he'd taken at the increased pain.

Abby narrowed her worried eyes at his answer, but didn't budge leaving him no other options than to physically move her out of the way as stepped off the elevator and into the squad room. Marching through the bullpen his gaze lingered briefly on Tony's empty desk before continuing up the stairs towards MTAC, Abby following a few steps behind him, demanding to know where Tony is the whole way.

"Gibbs, don't ignore me!" She shouted upon him reaching mezzanine.

Gibbs stopped abruptly on the very top step and slowly turned around to face her, glare fixed and ready.

"Abby?" He snapped.

"I saw him earlier with Palmer and now I can't find him anywhere." She said quietly, gaze directed toward her very large boots, "I'm really worried about him."

"Why?"

"He kinda got some information out of me." She winced.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, turned back around and started walking again Abby hot on his heels. DiNozzo was always getting information out of people, it was his job and not something he needed to worry about.

"I'm really sorry Gibbs, I'm usually better at keeping secrets though this wasn't a secret, more of information not to be shared, but Tony can be real sneaky when he wants to be I mean really…"

Entering the conference room where he'd just interviewed Senior he let Abby keep talking since there was no point interrupting her when she was on a roll and while she tried to explain what had happened when Tony, along with Palmer, had asked her to join them for pizza Gibbs busied himself with collecting the mineral water bottle Senior had drunk from.

…anyway I told him that Kate was bringing his Dad in and I don't think he took it well, well as well as you'd expect which for Tony is hard to tell because you think he's doing okay because he's all happy and jokey sometimes which is good but there's the jokey bad where he's not actually good at all he's just pretending to be…"

"Test this, fingers prints and DNA." Gibbs interrupted completely nonplussed by the confession,

"I'm assuming you're assuming I found something on that old evidence." She responded snagging the bottle he was holding out to her with one latex glove wrapped around it.

"Did you?"

"Not yet, a lot of the evidence is so old nothing but mothballs survived, but I'm still waiting for results on the cigarettes. Gibbs I'm really sorry I told Tony about his Dad I -"

"Ah!" Gibbs shushed her by raising his index finger. Satisfied his instructions were clear he started to walk away, but saw her drop her head and quickly stepped back. "Tony finding out I was bringing in his father is not your fault. I was going to tell him before I spoke to his dad anyway."

In truth he knew Tony would've found out long before he got the chance to tell him. He was a great investigator, to his own detriment sometimes. Sighing at the truth of that he began to walk away again, heading back down into the bullpen.

"You were?" Abby chased him after a moment of hesitation, starting in with the yelling once again. "You were going to let him see Tony weren't you? He might be involved and you were going to let him near him?"

Gibbs wanted to respond to the accusations being fired at him, but knowing as he did that they came from a place of love he let them slide. Instead he silently took his seat behind his desk intending to get something productive done before he finally went home.

"Abby." He barked, tipping his head indicating the direction of her lab when she failed to do anything but stand before his desk.

"You haven't given him that hug yet have you?" She glared, still holding the water bottle between her fingers in one hand.

Gibbs picked up a file that had been left on his desk and gave Abby a level look. She glared back at him without a flinch.

"Go. Now." He grated like a man on his last nerve.

"Fine," she groused, walking away with a stare that promised severe retribution.

He should have known he couldn't promise Abby something like that and expect her to forget it. Toying with the idea of which would be worse; asking DiNozzo to lie to her versus actually just giving him a damn hug, Gibbs looked at his watch. A new day was due to start in less than an hour. Looking at the file he held in his hand Gibbs hoped it offered more than its plain magnolia cover suggested, otherwise receiving a hug from him would be the least of DiNozzo's worries.

..

.

"What are you doing out here?" Kate spoke softly, enjoying Tony's little jump of surprise as she sneaked up on him.

Kate had been making her way back up to the bullpen from Abby's lab when she'd seen Tony duck out into the stairwell. Out of concern she'd followed him, knowing that Gibbs would be livid if he disappeared again today. Watching him ascend the stairs she'd wondered where he was going, until he bypassed the last floor in favour of the roof.

After they'd been blown up at the German bomb factory she'd not been able to so easily get back on the job like nothing had happened. She'd felt it was her fault Susan had been able to get hold of the explosives that killed one man and injured several others, including them in the blast. Gibbs had agreed. It was Tony who had found her hiding in the evidence garage days later, because Abby was busy testing weapons in the lab and Ducky had already left for the day. She'd wanted to speak to him even less than she'd wanted to speak to Gibbs and tried to leave as soon as he'd entered, but in the end neither of them said much of anything. He simple showed her into the stairwell and led the way to the top of the NCIS building in silence.

The view from the top had been pretty specular that night as they'd stood there together looking out over the Potomac at the city bathed in moonlight. That night Kate thought for once she'd understood what DiNozzo was talking about, ironic that it was one of the rare occasions he wasn't actually talking.

The view tonight wasn't quite so magical. Kate opened the roof door to reveal a rather murky sky that suggested a fierce storm was on the way.

"Just getting some air," she heard him say over the light wind that blew soundless in from the Potomac.

Unsurprised that he'd heard her approach Kate knew better than to make a comment about the air on the ground being just as good. As she got closer she noticed he was shivering despite the current humidity telling her he'd be in no mood for their usual bickering, which he clearly normally enjoyed so much. Truth be told she enjoyed it to, being able to tease someone and let off a bit of steam had helped her to settle into the high paced highly stressed life of an NCIS agent. Protecting the President was a big responsibility, but it didn't compare to the excitement the came with working on Gibbs' team.

Sidling up beside him Kate intended to talk to Tony like a friend, but as soon as she saw the twirling smoke leaving the little white stick protruding from his lips any intent of having a calm understanding conversation went out the window.

"DiNozzo!" Kate grabbed the lit cigarette hanging off Tony's lips.

"Kate what the hell?" Tony made to snatch it back, but Kate tossed it before he could get near.

"You don't smoke Tony!" She yelled, palm held out indicating he was to hand over the box he had clutched in his left hand.

"Well I thought now would be as good a time as any to START!" He tossed her the box. "Stress relief, hello?" Tony mocked, before adding, "The Duke smoked all the time."

"Oh so you've seen it in a movie, it must be a good idea." Kate rolled her eyes, stuffing the battered half empty packet in her pocket, "what are you, twelve?"

"I do whatever I want." Tony moaned, pacing away from her towards the roofs edge.

"Yeah well I'll be surprised if Gibbs lets you watch anything above PG13 after I tell him about this." Kate stated plainly, placing both hands on her hips.

"Hey," Tony spun around and pointed at her, "Gibbs cannot control what movies I watch," he snapped, sounding less sure about that than his words suggested, "he doesn't even know how to work the parental setting on my TV, besides, PG13 you can still get boobs." He finished in all seriousness.

"You're such a child." She shook her head, looking away while trying not to laugh at his obvious attempt to distract her from her point.

"I've smoked before." He added haughtily.

"When?" Kate asked in disbelief.

She stepped closer, pinning him with her narrow eyed gaze, daring him to prove his fallacy. Tony may act like a jock a lot of the time, but despite sports carrying him through college Kate knew he was more of a nerd than he was letting on.

"High school," he answered after a little too much thought, averting his gaze.

"Go on." Kate encouraged, enjoying the flash of fear that crossed his face as he clearly tried to make up a story on the spot.

When he hummed and hawed, Kate knew this round went to her and she laughed at his poor attempt to hide his embarrassment at being caught out.

"Well I stood next to someone who did." Tony deflated, scuffing his feet and kicking some gravel up from the roof, sending it trickling down onto the unsuspecting people below.

"Ha, I knew it." She smiled, triumphantly, before teasingly adding, "You sure you're old enough for PG13?"

Tony smiled tightly and mimicked her in a high pitched voice before dropping to his butt, wrapping both arms across his chest with a dejected huff.

"Ah hell," Kate muttered under her breath.

She'd intended to be understanding and supportive, but instead had acted like the stereotypical big sister, raking him over the coals for being an idiot then picking on him mercilessly until she was declared the winner.

"You don't want to start smoking, its hell to quit." She offered as an olive branch, sitting down beside him.

"And how would you know?" He muttered sullenly, fitting into the role of bratty little brother well and making her work for his forgiveness.

"Catholic school DiNozzo," Kate smiled to herself, shaking her head at his childish audacity. "It wasn't all church and Rosary Beads you know."

Tony's eyes lit up and despite liking the small smile that played on his lips, Kate wished she'd kept her mouth shut and just let him smoke the damn thing.

"You still haven't shown me that uniform." He winked, waggling his eyebrows and still smiling.

"You're certifiable." She said with the hint of a smile looking out over the Potomac.

"I will be if this goes on much longer." He admitted softly, his voice catching at the end.

She turned to him and his eyes searched hers. Kate didn't know what he was looking for, but sensing their conversation could only go downhill from here she took the lead and stood up.

"Come on let's go back inside, I'm freezing." Kate lightly smacked his shoulder before walking away, but Tony didn't move. "DiNozzo," she stopped and turned around, "hurry up."

Kate watched him gaze nervously out into the night and she rubbed her arms to ward off the chill of the wind as it picked up speed. Just when she was about to storm over to drag his ass up Tony jumped to his feet and strolled toward her. He still looked reluctant to return inside and, though initially puzzled, Kate had a sudden thought about why.

"Gibbs already escorted your Dad out, you won't have to see him." Kate whispered to him gently.

She wasn't sure how well her inference would go over, Tony liked to keep people guessing about what he was really thinking and feeling, despite the nonsense that often came out of his mouth. He could be strange like that sometimes.

"You think I should see him? We haven't really spoken properly in years. I… what would I say to him?"

Pleased he'd chosen to be honest with her Kate considered the question and gave him what he deserved. An honest answer.

"I think it's fine if you don't want to see him." She shrugged, acting like they were talking about one of Tony's movies instead of his father.

"I think Gibbs holds the same opinion." Tony gave her a soft smile in return.

Kate could see the insecurity oozing out of every pore. She realised then that no matter what hurt he's put through, be it from Gibbs' yelling and headslaps or Senior's complete ignorance of his son's feelings, Tony wouldn't change. He'd always be seeking approval from the key authority figure in his life. With that in mind she came to another realisation…

"Tony, about what happened at the crime scene-"

"I'm sorry alright, it was…" he snapped started walking quickly towards the door, "I lost it. Gibbs already bawled me out on the way back, I don't need any crap from you too."

"I was going to say I'm sorry," she caught up to him, "we should've realised what seeing Bower again, even dead, would do to you." Tony snapped his head up, obviously surprised by her apology, "And Gibbs shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I threatened to quit." Tony said abruptly.

He had his hand posed on the door handle, clearly to her he was not yet ready to open it and face whatever waited for him on the other side.

"Why?" Kate shouted, not meaning to sound angry. "Gibbs has always had that second B, you've been here three years, you're more used to it than any of us."

"It's not that." He paused, struggling to explain, "I keep thinking about those pictures and all I keep thinking is you guys all know that stuff about me, even Probie. How can I keep working here after this?"

Tony looked at her beseechingly, as if it was a done deal that only she could change and Kate didn't know what to say. It had crossed her mind that everyone knowing about this would be difficult for him. He wasn't a private guy by any means, in fact he often took great delight over telling them all about his escapades and conquests, however the difference was he usually chose what to share and when. You didn't need to be a profiler to understand how the personal details involved in this case being so out of his control would affect him.

"Don't think about it now," she put her hand in his and squeezed, "let us close the case first." Protect you first, she insisted in her head.

She wasn't going to try and talk him around right now, whether Tony admitted it or not he was physically and emotionally drained. Everything was so near the surface she could almost taste the tension in the air. They were holding hands for god's sake and he wasn't cracking a joke or making a pass. Going over the future now, before they had the present sorted, would be a waste of time.

She heard Tony take a deep breath, and Kate expectantly held hers, watching him push down on the handle to open the door.

…

"Boss!" McGee came running around the corner into the bull pen looking excited. "I think I found Miller."

"The Adams House Hotel," Gibbs said with chagrin.

McGee gapped.

"Yeah how did you…?" Gibbs gave him a look and McGee knew that meant it didn't matter, "Well are we going to talk to him?"

Gibbs stilled in his chair, and when the silence stretched on McGee panicked that he'd spoken out of turn. Sure he was being impatient, but his one main task since yesterday was to find Miller and now they knew where he was staying, however they found out, it was a major breakthrough!

"First we need to know what he's been doing-"

Gibbs didn't get a chance to finish, unable to stop the pleased smile forming on his face McGee ran to his desk, grabbed the clicker and brought Miller's reconstructed recent history up on the plasma.

"Since arriving in Washington Miller has made next to no traceable purchases or transactions," McGee began with the bad news, tensing when Gibbs moved to stand next to him. "However we know he's only been in Washington a week because he used a past alias, Frank DiCapo, to board a flight from London Heathrow to Newark on Monday, airport security footage confirms it's him. He spent one night in New York before making the trip via private jet to the air base here, apparently through a mutual friend of Mr DiNozzo." Gibbs gave him an enquiring look. "The friend also transported Mr DiNozzo this morning. Frank DiCapo was on the flight list both times, only I didn't make the connection until I discovered the flight from Heathrow."

When he finished McGee was out of breath. He hoped he hadn't sounded too much like Tony, he hated when Tony was all smug about the details he found, but frankly, though it may not be much, these meagre bits had taken a lot longer to dig up than anyone would think.

"Good job McGee," Gibbs said and to McGee actually sounded pleased.

He wanted to collapse, but knew Gibbs wouldn't be impressed if a simple briefing had him dead on his feet.

"He must be paying cash for everything which was why he was difficult to trace, but I have found a room booked under the name Frank DiCapo at the Adams house, the man staying there matches Miller's description."

"Let me guess, 70's smartly dressed about 6ft tall with white hair."

"Er, yeah boss." McGee frowned.

"Also matches Tony's father."

"He's staying at the Adam's House?"

McGee had crossed checked the names earlier, and of course when he'd traced Mr DiNozzo to the restaurant where he and Kate had picked him up, he hadn't found a reservation for DiNozzo at the Adam's House.

"How did you find out about the Alias?" Gibbs asked suddenly, putting aside the issue of Senior's roll in all this for now.

"The file was left on my desk I thought…" McGee stated confused.

"I take it this is what you're referring to?" Gibbs waved a plain file folder at McGee, "found it on my desk after interviewing Mr DiNozzo."

"Yeah, I found one on my desk too."

"You didn't see who dropped it off?"

"Um, no." McGee gulped, he hadn't questioned it to be truthful. "The note said it was from the FBI I assumed Fornell…"

"Never assume McGee-"

"-always double check. Boss I'm sorry-"

"McGee!" Gibbs yelled.

McGee cut himself off immediately, didn't want to break two of Gibbs rules in the same minute.

"I'll take it to Abby, call the FBI and check the security footage." McGee ran over to his desk.

Retrieving the hand written note he quickly bagged it, showing it to Gibbs before running out of the bullpen heading for Abby's lab.

…

"Boss?" Tony asked quietly.

McGee had ran passed him like his ass was on fire and for once Tony was sure he'd had no hand in it.

"He's gone DiNozzo." Gibbs answered, looking up from his desk to acknowledge Tony as he and Kate entered the bullpen together.

"I was asking about what had McGee's panties in a twist, but okay." Tony slunk behind his desk with care and Gibbs watched him silently. "Did he say anything we could use?"

"He has a meeting with Miller tomorrow at the Adams house."

"You're not serious?" Kate asked, her jaw hanging open.

Instead of making a quip Tony openly stared at Gibbs, eyes wide with worry and Gibbs stared back at him.

"You okay DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked quietly, well aware Kate was looking at them both with concern.

DiNozzo smiled a watery version of his usual cheeky grin, but didn't speak. Determined to hold his gaze, Gibbs was surprised at how much it hurt inside to see the smile that was usually so bright being used as protection to stop them seeing how much he was actually hurting. He was used to seeing Tony hide his emotions from others, he did the same thing himself after all, but having to look at Tony trying so very hard not to breakdown in front of him and Kate…

"Kate-"

"On it Gibbs," Kate grabbed her bag. "McGee and I can watch him tonight and follow Mr DiNozzo to the meeting tomorrow."

"No." Gibbs shouted as she was halfway out of the bullpen, handbag and coat already slung over her arm.

"No?" She walked back, looking confused, "But Gibbs he might warn Miller that we're on to him-"

Gibbs opened his mouth to explain why that didn't matter, but Tony beat him to it.

"Miller would know after he showed up here we'd talk to my father, it's another set up, right boss?" He slumped further in his chair, lifting both feet to rest them on the corner of his desk.

Gibbs watched DiNozzo reach into his draw and pull out and begin playing with an old Rubik's cube. Tony sensed him staring of course but in true DiNozzo style didn't let on. He continued to play with his toy for a further minute and a half while Gibbs waited patiently in silence. Kate only quiet because she was trying to figure out what the heck was going on. Tony eventually raised his head slightly to give Gibbs a minute nod to which he gave a sad proud smile in return.

"Bower's body being left for us was a message, Miller's not trying to hide the fact he's back in the States, he taunting us." Gibbs said to Kate without taking his eyes off of Tony.

Kate dropped her shoulders and perched on her desk.

"If that's true it means Tony's father-"

"I didn't tell him anything about what we know concerning Miller and Bower, and he didn't ask." Gibbs stated flatly.

"You believe him?" Tony asked without looking up from his toy.

Gibbs didn't - couldn't - answer. Tony got the message anyway he was sure. Silence descended upon the bullpen again only this time it was stuffy and oppressive and threaten to consume them.

"That's it." Gibbs called out, shutting down his computer, "everyone, go home. We'll pick this up again tomorrow."

The fact that nobody argued with him was a testament to how tired they all were. Kate stood up again, made a quick phone call and then walked over slapping a sticky note down on his desk.

"The names of the agents on protection detail tonight," she said, before grabbing her bag once more and walking out.

Gibbs heard her say goodnight to Tony as she passed his desk while he made calls to Abby, McGee and Ducky ordering them all to get some rest too. He'd inform security of the possible breach himself on the way out and get McGee going over every inch of footage first thing in the morning to ensure nothing had been compromised. Once done he picked up his own coat and walked over to stand in front Tony, who was still sat slumped at his own desk, the Rubik's cube having nowhere near one solid colour side than the last time he'd seen him play with it many months ago.

"Grab your gear DiNozzo you've got another night with me."

"Boss," Tony said with that inflection which changed the meaning from a simple form of address into something much more significant, "I'm not going to sleep tonight."

Gibbs smiled sadly down at him, noticing how young he looked all of a sudden. Maybe it was just the stark lamp light on his face, or the superimposed image of those morbid childhood pictures he had seen in Fornell's brown envelope that just wouldn't leave his head. He didn't know why, but right this moment with Tony looking up at him, his lost green eyes pleading with him to make it all okay, Gibbs could only see a six year old boy who desperately needed his help.

"Yeah, you will," he returned softly, "I'll get you sanding in my basement that usually gets you to sleep."

Tony laughed, a pink hue touching his cheeks. Gibbs allowed himself a small nostalgic smile at the memory, even though he felt unsettled. He was reaching way of his comfort zone now, something he rarely did for anyone, but after their very verbal argument in the car coming back from the crime scene, Gibbs knew he had some bridge building to do in case DiNozzo even considered making good on his threat to quit. He really didn't want that. In Tony he saw a lot of himself, before the bitterness of lost or failed marriages and politics took a lot of his joy away. He knew Tony would make a great team leader someday so long as Gibbs could keep him long enough to teach him everything he knew.

Gibbs tapped Tony's shoulder, indicating it was passed time to leave.

"I hope you're better company than last night." He said walking towards the elevator.

Tony stood wearily, putting the Rubik's cube away, and shrugging his backpack onto both shoulders.

"Thanks Boss," Tony whispered catching up to him just in time for the doors to open, "for everything, you've been great."

DiNozzo stepped on in front of him, averting his eyes. Gibbs just smiled and shook his head as he stepped on too and faced forward. Shy unassuming honesty was just another DiNozzo trait Gibbs was thankful for, even somewhat envious of to be truthful. His ability to let his guard down as and when it suited was astounding. Tony made it look almost easy to put himself out there and trust that whatever he shared wouldn't be used to hurt him, but Gibbs knew it took incredible courage to be vulnerable in front of others, especially for someone like Tony who went to great lengths to protect himself from anyone he didn't completely trust. Gibbs felt honoured that very early on DiNozzo had shown that he did trust him and he was proud of Tony for being able to trust so completely, he knew he struggled to do it. Being able to communicate his feelings to others, give them the trust that DiNozzo freely offered him, was one of the many reasons for his multiple failed marriages.

No, Gibbs wasn't blind to the fact that he wasn't the only one learning something in this oddly undefinable relationship they currently held. Having observed the many faces of Tony DiNozzo over the years Gibbs knew Tony had, however misguidedly, seen something worth liking in his bastard of a boss. From day one he'd been in his personal space, wanting to be Gibbs' centre of attention and that hadn't and probably wouldn't ever change. Gibbs had initially intended to curb that behaviour, but soon learned it was better to acquiesce to the role Tony had cast him and try and help Tony understand that no matter what happened or how many major mistakes he made Gibbs would always support him so long as he remained the trusting honest person he was clearly born to be.

It didn't take Gibbs long to discover who was responsible for making Tony doubt his worthiness to others. His father had put his son second, even before his wife's death, but once Mrs DiNozzo was gone there had been no one to look out for Tony, his entire view of social relationships had been shaped from what little he'd seen of his father, his dodgy business associates and the trail of step mothers. Gibbs didn't know how long it would take to teach DiNozzo that his father was wrong to treat him that way, but one thing he did know for sure was that this mess was going to be one major test of the faith Tony had in him. He was only ashamed that despite the many times Tony had declared he loved him, be it for saving his life or just bringing him pizza, Gibbs had never been able to say it back, at least not in words.

And now was no different. Gibbs could have said any number of things in reply to Tony's heart felt thank you. He could have reminded him of what he'd said a couple of months ago, that he really was irreplaceable. He could of told him that he cared and didn't want Tony to leave over this mess or because of Gibbs' hot head – though he knew that was an unlikely possibility, they'd long since passed the time where Gibbs' gruff treatment could hurt him, of that he was sure. But he didn't say anything. Instead Gibbs simply hoped his recent actions spoke louder than words could and that Tony would hold faith in him long enough to trust he could protect him and make this work out alright in the end.

…

Pulling up outside his house Gibbs had a quick sit rep with the agents on protection detail. Both had been briefed by Kate and reported no unusual activity since arriving. Satisfied, he pulled fully onto his driveway and both he and Tony walked into the house.

Gibbs once again broke from his usual routine and proceeded to lock the door behind them, he then went through the house securing all the windows, including the back door. Once the house was locked up like Fort Knox Gibbs returned to the living room to find Tony stood in front of the unlit fire, looking at a couple of framed photos on the mantel piece.

"You Okay?"

His query went unanswered and Gibbs didn't press him further. Tony had been silent the ride over, an extreme rarity in any circumstance, which left him with a dilemma. Did he push DiNozzo to talk about his father or leave him to the torment of his own mind? Watching Tony, looking so lost and desolate he was reminded once again of his promise to Abby. Tony was a very tactile person at the end of the day, though the kind of physical contact he was used to from him was a lot more painful than a hug, at the moment Gibbs didn't think Tony would push him away if he offered one. But what Tony needed right now was answers, not a cuddle. A hug was certainly not going to give him the truth that was for damn sure. On any other day Tony would freak if Gibbs tried to comfort him, if he so much as hinted at doing something nice Tony became instantly suspicious. Another neurosis constructed from his father's abandonment of him no doubt. Gibbs felt his anger from earlier build up again, but thinking about Senior drew Gibbs back to the issue at hand. The man seemed completely oblivious as to what was happening regarding his son, Miller and the whole kidnapping saga. Now thinking about it Gibbs wasn't sure if his desire to nail him on this was born more out of retribution for his abusive neglect of Tony in general and not necessarily because he was tied to the actual kidnapping.

The whole thing was giving him a headache Gibbs realised when a sudden pounding in his head made itself known. No wonder DiNozzo was quiet if this was what he was thinking about too, they probably both needed aspirin and a good night's sleep. Throwing his coat over a dinning chair and flicking on his coffee pot Gibbs opened the fridge to see if he had anything worth making for dinner, deciding to push everything out of his mind for tonight.

"Gibbs?" Tony's shy whisper, which barely reached his ears, had Gibbs looking at him over the top of the open fridge door, "What were you doing in '78?"

He watched Tony drop heavily onto the couch and stare straight ahead at nothing. Giving up on food Gibbs righted himself and shut the fridge door. Slowly walking over to the couch he sat down on the edge next to Tony, mimicking his head down, hands clasped position.

"Well I joined the core in '76," Gibbs said briefly, trying not to think about that year and the ones which followed with too much emotion.

Tony looked disappointed and Gibbs wasn't sure where he was going with this. Did he think knowing how close or how far away they were from each other, without realising it, would change something? That had their paths crossed earlier he could have somehow saved his six year old self from the hell he'd experienced?

"Kate's suggested I consider hypnotherapy to recover my memories." Gibbs looked at him questioningly, "I was on the roof. She followed me. We talked."

"About hypnotherapy?" He asked sceptically in response to Tony's clipped sentences.

The headache, combined with lack of sleep from last night and the already late hour was making it very hard for him to follow DiNozzo's usual convoluted train of thought. Adding heavy questions into the mix was not a good idea.

"She thinks it might help now if I remember what they wanted back then."

Against his gut instinct, Gibbs thought about it. He wanted to bark no way in hell and forbid Tony from letting anyone mess with his head, psychiatrist were a dangerous breed and letting one have full access was just opening up him for more hurt.

"What do you think?" He asked carefully instead, trying not to communicate his feelings one way or the other.

"I think I want answers." Tony answered vaguely.

Gibbs leaned back on the couch, the pounding in his head increasing tenfold at the soft admission. He was going to kill Kate in the morning.

"Tony, Fornell brought me a file." Gibbs sighed holding his head like it might split from his body.

If Tony was going to consider it, he needed all the relevant information in order to make an informed decision. No matter how much he wanted to protect him from the truth, Tony would learn it eventually anyway, he always did.

"Was that why he was watching me sleep last night?" Tony said without missing a beat.

"I had to go back to the office," Gibbs looked over at him and Tony turned his head to meet his eyes. "Duck doesn't think you repressed the memories. You were given Ketamine."

"Ketamine?" Tony echoed, surprised, "but why?"

"Why do you think?" He shot back, unintentionally harsh.

Unfazed Tony appeared to consider the question thoughtfully and it didn't take long before Gibbs got an answer.

"I think that if I wanted someone to keep my secret," Tony sighed, "like a little kid who was always where he shouldn't be and couldn't be relied on to keep his mouth shut. I'd find a way to make him forget it."

Gibbs saw the effacing look on his face and tried to stop his train of thought before it was too late.

"DiNozzo, this was not your fault."

Tony chuckled self-depreciatingly.

"You don't really believe that do you, boss?"

Gibbs chose to ignore that and focus on the more important issue.

"Ducky thinks you may have seen something, something someone didn't want you telling anyone about."

"Always was sticking my nose in where it didn't belong." Gibbs hid his reaction upon hearing the same words Senior had used come out of Tony's mouth. "Had a recurring nightmare though, at least that's what they told me it was."

"They?" Gibbs asked with dread.

Tony's expression darkened then he paled, the heavy realisation of his family's involvement hitting him like a brick.

"My parents," Tony dropped his head until it was resting on his knees.

Gibbs sat helpless, not a feeling he was used to or comfortable with. In fact he was actually really mad at DiNozzo right now for making him care so damn much. Despite his conflicting feelings Gibbs reached out and rubbed his palm soothingly up and down Tony's back, hoping his mere presence would be enough to keep his kid's head on straight.

"You remember anything before you went to the park that day, something maybe involving Miller and your dad?" Gibbs asked continuing with the repetitive motion, moving his hand slowly up and down his spine when Tony didn't immediately shrug him off.

Tony remained with his head down for a few minutes before sitting up. Gibbs dropped his hand and waited, but in the end he came up empty.

"My memories are fuzzy Gibbs I don't even remember going to the damn park."

Deciding not to push any further, Gibbs forwent informing him of the other details Ducky had mentioned earlier concerning his time with the kidnappers.

"You still think you can't sleep?"

"Could you?" Tony huffed, looking glassy eyed.

Gibbs gazed over at his basement door, recalling his parting remark back in the bull pen and remembering it had only been a few months since Gibbs had learned a lot more than he'd bargained for about his own very special agent.

Tony had been staying with him while his apartment was out of commission due to an exploding boiler and one night he'd become extremely restless after a case. Gibbs couldn't remember which one, but he did know instead of the usual quiet of three in the morning he'd endured music, pacing and a clattering in his kitchen. Eventually he'd surfaced from the basement to find out what the hell was going on.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked, slamming his hand down on the stereo, muting it.

"Sorry Boss, did I wake you?" Tony looked up, but continued to empty his cupboards, looking for god knows what.

"No, did I wake YOU?" Gibbs indicted the kitchen clock with his gaze.

"Huh?" Tony caught on and looked embarrassed. "Oh, couldn't sleep."

"And you'd thought you'd what? Wake my neighbours and make pancakes?"

Tony looked guilty at the pan he'd relinquished from the cupboard, but said nothing, leading Gibbs to think there was more to Tony's late night roaming than he was willing to share.

"Come on," Gibbs beckoned wearily, indicating Tony was to follow him down into the basement.

"Gibbs, I can go back to bed really, I don't-"

"Shut up will ya DiNozzo and get over here."

Once in the basement Gibbs took both of Tony's hands and put sandpaper in one palm, placing it on the boat. Covering his hand with the other Gibbs demonstrated how Tony should sand. After a couple of assisted tries, Gibbs let him loose on his own. The kid had gotten pretty good until he started yawning. Gibbs had simply let Tony get comfy on the base of the boat, covering him with a blanket before continuing to work himself, eventually catching a couple hours sleep in the hard chair before they had to return to the office the next day.

"Boss?" Tony prodded his arm, knocking him clear out of the memory.

"Yeah?"

"You can go to bed, its fine. I'll watch TV."

Gibbs shook his head and motioned Tony to stand, DiNozzo knew damn well the only TV he owned was in the basement. As they walked toward the basement door Gibbs pointed at Tony's bandaged hand.

"Ducky's assistant do that?"

"Autopsy Gremlin," Tony nodded, quickly adding, "I mean… er, Palmer."

Gibbs smiled and made a mental note to thank the new kid as he flicked on the light before walking down the stairs. It would probably scare the life out of him if what he'd seen of him so far was anything to go by, but Ducky could handle that. Palmer was Ducky's to deal with after all, just like DiNozzo was his, but if he kept up the good work, Gibbs was sure Palmer would make an excellent addition to their extended team.

…

Tony sprang forward, a loud crashing noise jolting him awake. He frantically blinked, attempting to adjust his vision to the dark room. Once objects started to take shape it didn't take Tony long to realise he was alone and lying on Gibbs' living room couch, an old yellow blanket tucked neatly around him. Tony shivered, but not from the predawn chill. He hadn't had someone be so attentive to his needs since Wendy.

Pushing all thoughts of his failed engagement from his mind Tony glanced at his watch and took in the early hour. His last memory before falling asleep was of sanding in the basement and whereas it wouldn't be unusual for Gibbs to still be awake and working down there, the house was completely quiet. Since it appeared he had been sleeping on what was his boss's bed for all intents and purposes and knowing Gibbs wouldn't have left him alone despite him being no better company than last night it begged the question, where exactly was Gibbs?

Another crash sounded disrupting his thoughts and Tony shot up off the couch, grabbing his gun, running over to the bottom of the stairs.

"Gibbs?" Tony called out tentatively, unsure why Gibbs might be smashing up his own house, "Boss, you up there?"

Hearing no reply Tony decided he had to make a choice, either go and investigate, or return to the couch and hope Gibbs showed his face soon. Never one to sit around when there was something better to do he took to the stairs slowly. Leaving the Navy yard earlier he and Gibbs had swung by his apartment, mainly to check it hadn't been broken into or anything, but also to pick up some stuff since it looked like this situation wasn't going to be resolved anytime soon. They'd been very careful, ensured no one was staking out the place and no one had followed them to Gibbs' house. Of course that didn't mean it was entirely improbably that someone had followed them and had now broken in via an upstairs window. It worried him that Gibbs hadn't responded to the sound of either crashing sound, but nevertheless he kept moving forward, determined to prove to himself that no one who shouldn't be upstairs was and that Gibbs had simply gotten a cat or something and not told him.

When Tony reached the dark landing he reached for the light, but the switch failed to do anything but click. No lights.

Okay Tony, what's next?

He looked around and caught sight of the landing window. For the first time since waking Tony noticed the thunder storm raging outside, in fact rain hit the windows with such force it was entirely possible that was what the noise he'd heard.

Feeling much calmer he continued down the long hallway in the dark, looking in each room as he passed. The house seemed a lot bigger than he had thought, there were definitely more than the two bedrooms he remembered being up here. As he grew nearer to the room he usually stayed in when he stopped over Tony noticed the door was ajar and had a night light on. Suspicious he walked inside, pushing the door wide to reveal a small bedroom lit with sconces. Long flowing curtains blew inwards from an open window and a child size four poster bed sat in the centre of the room.

Tony stepped back in horror. Gibbs didn't have a room like this! Looking back along the hallway he didn't recognise it as the comfortable two story family home he'd grown accustomed to over the years. Instead Tony saw the large empty corridor that separated his childhood Louis XV themed bedroom from his parents' room in their Long Island estate. He barely remembered the place, his father having sold it after divorcing step mom number one, and couldn't fathom why he was seeing it in such clarity now.

Dreaming, he had to be dreaming. All he had to do was wake up. Tony blinked several times to try and dispel the image, adding more force to each blink, but still the vision in front of him remained as solid and real as ever. Giving up Tony took a breath and stepped into the room, taking a tentative look around. Noticing too late the broken glass decorating the floor near the window he cried out in pain when the sole of his left foot pressed down, the shards breaking through the rough skin sending droplets of blood pouring over the carpet. He staggered back shocked by the pain only to bump into a large floor length dressing mirror. Tony recoiled immediately when he saw that the image being reflected back at him wasn't of a man of thirty, but instead he saw a young boy with light brown floppy hair wearing Ferrari red t-shirt and shorts. Closing his eyes and taking several deep calming breaths Tony knew what he would see as soon as he reopened his eyes, but before he could rationalise that the image of the child in the mirror was actually him Tony saw a shadow appear behind him in the mirror. Hand going to his hip, reaching for a gun that most certainly wasn't there anymore Tony spun around to face his would be attacker.

…

Gibbs was in his kitchen making himself a cup of tea and getting ready to hit the sack while DiNozzo slept soundlessly on his sofa. He had lasted all of ten minutes working on the boat before the sandman came for him and though Gibbs would never admit it, to anyone, he found it rather adorable that the simple repetitive act never failed in sending Tony off to sleep so efficiently.

Gibbs yawned and leaned heavily against his kitchen counter while he waited for the water to boil. After getting Tony settled Gibbs had decided against going back to his boat, he was tired and looking forward to some soundless sleep himself. Considering Tony's anxiety upon leaving NCIS earlier it was a miracle he was sleeping at all. Gibbs supposed it spoke to the trust Tony had in him to keep him safe tonight and made Gibbs feel like he had made the right call in keeping him close. Not that he had ever doubted his decision to protect Tony at his home instead of a safe house, but with Tony's hastily shouted threat to quit still haunting the back of his mind he could have easily seen this going a whole other way.

Pouring hot water over the tea bag Gibbs pondered on how DiNozzo always seemed to be the exception to nearly every rule he had. He hated people calling him Sir, yet Tony did it all the time when he wanted to wind him up, and mostly got away with it. 'Don't apologise it's a sign of weakness', how often had he heard the casually whispered 'sorry boss', usually preceding a headslap? Rule ten he knew he'd definitely broken on this case and if he tweaked the meaning even rule twelve. Gibbs had the rule about agents dating for good reason, it interfered with the job, and though he and DiNozzo were definitely not dating, the level of caring was pretty damn close.

He didn't need it pointing out that his irrational behaviour at the Bower crime scene was unacceptable. So much was missed because he'd gone looking for Tony and ignored everything else. The argument in the car was part due to him being unable to rationalise his own actions. He'd already admitted to losing objectivity over the case, what he hadn't realised was it wasn't just this case.

The time Tony was kidnapped by the crazy waitress sprung to mind. Gibbs still blamed himself for what happened to Tony, despite knowing danger is a part of the job. He knew that last phone call would have haunted his dreams forever and after Tony was confirmed missing he had grown fearful of what he would do if they didn't get Tony back. Ducky had seen his worry and tried to console him, but Gibbs knew he wouldn't have been able to look over at Tony's desk and see someone else sat there in his place.

Picking up his mug Gibbs walked over to his kitchen window and gazed out into the early predawn light. There had been so many incidences like that over the past three years and if he'd learnt anything from those experiences it was that Tony had become like family to him, someone he didn't just care about, but loved like his own flesh and blood. The realisation sat heavily upon him, but he was beginning to understand why he found himself tip-toeing around Tony's feelings one minute and shouting bloody murder at him the next. The problem was, despite how he felt about the person involved, this was a case and all he should be doing was his job.

Before Gibbs could fully come to terms with what he knew he needed to do a loud scream suddenly emanated from his living room. Dropping his mug to the counter, sloshing hot water everywhere Gibbs ran towards the source of the sound.

The scream, which was deafening from the kitchen, morphed into a cry of pain by the time he reached the living room. Seeing Tony thrashing on the couch Gibbs leaped over to him, landing heavily on the solid wood floor and ignoring the pain in his knees he grabbed hold of Tony, lifting him, securing his thrashing body against his own.

"Tony, hey DiNozzo!" Gibbs shouted into his ear, shaking him by the shoulders when his voice alone didn't snap Tony out of his nightmare.

Several loud smacks on his front door alerted him to the presence of the agents outside, obviously having heard the screams coming from inside the house. Gibbs didn't waste another second, giving up on the softly, softly approach he pushed Tony back and slapped him hard over the head. He stilled immediately and fell silent, eyes flying open in sheer terror.

Gibbs stared at Tony and Tony stared back at Gibbs, both of them were panting heavily, taking gulping breaths of air liked they'd been chasing a suspect.

"Agent Gibbs?" A male voice shouted from somewhere outside.

Tony leaned forward nearly falling off the sofa and Gibbs held him steady by the shoulders, supporting him like one of the plinths under his boat.

Gibbs blinked, breaking eye contact, but not his grip he turned towards the door.

"Stand down." He called, forcing authority into his voice.

Listening for the agent's footsteps retreating before turning back Gibbs used the time to pull himself together and work out what he was going to say. Tony had dropped his head even further to hang between his shoulders, but remained still, sitting on the edge of the couch. Gibbs patted his arm and gradually pulled himself up from the floor to sit down next to him. He was prepared for a joke or a brush off, but the minute his butt hit the cushion Tony fell bodily into his side, tucking his head underneath his chin. Gibbs instinctively lifted his arms, closing them gingerly around the trembling body feeling each shallow breath as it impacted his neck and wondered what the hell he should do now.

He tried to speak several times, but got as far as opening his mouth before clamping his jaw shut again. He was a man of few words on a normal day and this situation required something more than he could offer or so he believed. Since words failed him he tighten his hold and with Tony wrapped around him, pressing so close he could feel his heart beating through his chest, Gibbs shuffled back relaxing into the cushions. Settling him on his chest he repeatedly ran one calloused hand across his back and through his hair. Gibbs heard Tony's irregular breathing slowly even out and resolutely continued with his ministrations, he was rewarded for his efforts by feeling the body on top of his eventually relax and go limp.

Sitting there, managing to comfort Tony by just being there he realised was wrong before when he thought all he should be doing now was his job, truth was he had bigger responsibilities here than NCIS and it was important he continued to live up to them.

As if sensing Gibbs had come to some sort of decision regarding the situation Tony pulled away. At first he sat quietly, balancing elbows on knees, head nestled within his palms hiding his face, then he abruptly stood up and putting as much distance as possible between them he paced to the furthest corner of the room.

"Where were you?" Tony asked with a quiver in his voice, keeping his back to Gibbs, "I woke up and there was someone upstairs, they…" panic sped up his breathing again, causing him to choke on his own words.

Though the honesty wasn't what he expected Gibbs was skilled enough to roll with whatever DiNozzo dished out.

"It was a nightmare." He responded as soon as Tony's voice choked off. "I've been here with you the whole time, I never left."

"A nightmare?" Tony asked him with more than a hint of desperation.

Gibbs winced, the tone was uncomfortable to listen to and he felt there was something more Tony knew that he was trying to avoid telling him.

"You okay Tony?" Gibbs asked him honestly, not moving from his seat.

He'd experienced Tony's nightmares before, doing the job they did, seeing dead bodies day after day what sane person wouldn't have a the odd bad dream? But this seemed different.

"It's not a big deal." Tony shrugged, turning around to face him. "People have nightmares, everyone dreams. I dream all the time. Don't always remember what I dream about. Don't always wake up screaming either, of course if I did wake up screaming I wouldn't tell anyone about it. For instance why would anyone want to know that I dreamt I was walking around your house, in the dark, thunder and lightning and then its suddenly not your house and I get a look at myself and I'm a little kid and someone grabs me and…"

"Hey," Gibbs clasped Tony's cheek, surprising him by sneaking up on him, "stop. You don't have to do this now."

Tony made a lame attempt to pull away and when Gibbs didn't yield settled for avoiding eye contact instead. It didn't matter, Gibbs could see the tears pooling in overly bright green eyes. He wasn't going to let Tony continue with his tirade. Sure he had concerns, and yes questions needed answering, but anything Tony told him right now would be tainted by tiredness and influenced by feelings too close to the surface. The details could wait until DiNozzo was in a better frame of mind and able to view his dream rationally. If it turned out he really was remembering something then they'd go from there.

On instinct Gibbs ran a hand through Tony's hair, pushing the sweaty fringe back off his face, and waited for Tony's breathing to even out again.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tony's muffled voiced stated adamantly as he swiped at his eyes.

"I didn't ask." Gibbs responded, guiding Tony back to the couch to lie down.

Too tired to bother with his by now stone cold tea Gibbs took the high road and risked Tony telling him to piss off. Without asking he sat down next to him and grabbing a pillow pulled Tony down to lie across his lap. Kicking off his shoes he hitched his feet on the coffee table and resumed running his hand threw Tony's hair and over his back until he drifted back to sleep.

…

The next morning came quickly, too quickly for Tony. He woke up with a pounding headache and the first thing he realised was his alarm hadn't gone off. Groaning he flipped out a hand to check the time on the digital clock next to his bed, but as he searched the area where the clock should have been he knocked something over, cold liquid swiftly covered his hand followed by the distinct sound of glass breaking.

"Easy," he heard Gibbs' voice say before he swam into view.

Tony lifted his head off the pillow and squinted blurrily at the glass lying broken on the floor beside the couch. An image in his mind overlapped the one his was seeing with his eyes and awareness returned in a crashing wave, sending Tony diving back into the couch burying his head in shame.

He remembered the broken window from his nightmare, feeling terrified, a pool of blood, someone making a grab for him, a knife and then… screaming, loud uncontrollable screams. Then being awake, realising none of it was real and cuddling Gibbs like some desperately out of control idiot.

Shit Gibbs, he couldn't face him, he really couldn't.

"It's just a glass DiNozzo," the man in question said plainly, quickly cleaning up the mess.

"Don't look at me," Tony mumbled face down into his pillow.

"Hey!" Gibbs slapped the back of his head, nearly suffocating him with the force.

"Boss please, it's awful!" Tony turned over to gasp in some air, flinging one arm over his face to offer a measure of protection.

"Murder is awful DiNozzo." Gibbs deadpanned, "getting a hug off me is rare. Ask Abby."

He'd really rather not, but it was good to know Gibbs had instantly understood his issue.

"It's embarrassing then." He whined.

A reply wasn't instant, and Tony remained still and blind listening for the tell-tale sound of Gibbs' shoes impacting the wooden floor. Tony jumped when Gibbs grabbed hold of his wrist, having not heard him approach, but he relaxed enough to let him remove the arm away from his face so he could see him.

"There's nothing embarrassing about feeling scared." Gibbs said kindly then added with a small smile, "even for a Very Special Agent."

Tony slowly lifted hooded lids to meet understanding blue eyes and relaxed. He was Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, he could deal with this. Nodding convincingly he was pleased to receive the light tap to his cheek before Gibbs walked away into the kitchen.

Sinking back into the pillows, not really ready to face the day yet Tony lifted his arm and looked at his watch. It was a little after eight. Clearly Gibbs had let him sleep in, but he guessed he didn't have long before he'd end up on the receiving end of a trademark Gibbs glare to get over himself and get moving. With great effort he hauled himself up and wandered away to the bathroom to wash and dress before heading back into NCIS.

…..

"Tony you look like hell." Kate greeted him as he and Gibbs entered the squad room.

"Thanks Kate, you look lovely too." Tony smiled at her, throwing his bag to the floor and himself into his chair.

Kate sneered at his sarcasm and Gibbs veered off, heading straight upstairs without a word to either of them. She watched Tony watch him go and subtly observed the two. After further inspection she determined Gibbs didn't look much better than Tony did. Both had black bags under their eyes, demonstrating how little sleep they'd each gotten last night. The question was, did Gibbs simply forego sleep in favour of working on the boat or did he have something else occupying his time last night? Of course by something, she actually meant someone.

"You're here?" McGee walked into the bull pen coming from the direction of Abby's lab and sat down at his desk.

He'd come in early to meet with Abby and go over the security footage so he had answers as to who dropped off the file yesterday as soon as Gibbs came in. Kate was impressed; it had taken her a lot longer to understand just what Gibbs expected out of each of them. Of course the only example she'd had was DiNozzo, who seemingly did nothing but act childishly throughout the day.

"Yep, I'm here bright and early." Tony slumped back, resting his feet on the edge of his desk without removing his coat and closed his eyes.

"Tony it's after nine and you-"

"-look like hell, yeah Kate's said that already," Tony dropped his feet and sat up, eyeballing them both, "thank you, both of you, but if you'd been having nightmares most the night, then you'd not look so hot either…"

McGee averted his gaze clearly not sure how to respond to Tony's outright honesty, but the profiler in Kate was in her element. Standing from behind her desk she stepped forward, speaking delicately.

"You know nightmares might relate to your forgotten memories, have you thought anymore about what we talked about yesterday?"

Tony didn't look up. Kate waited, but before she could speak again he unlocked his draw and took out the Rubik's cube he'd been playing with yesterday.

"Gibbs wasn't keen." Tony answered dismissively, still not making eye contact.

"Well it's not Gibbs' decision Tony it's yours." She pressed, closing what little space remained between her and his desk, snatching the toy out of his hands.

"That's mine." He snapped, standing and snatching it back.

Momentarily stunned by the edge to his tone Kate took a metaphorical step back while Tony retook his seat.

"Tony-"

"I'll think about it okay?" He interrupted her quickly, completely focused on twisting the cube.

"Okay," Kate shook her head, trying to dispel her confusion over his odd reaction and walked away.

…

Gibbs took a seat in the back row of a dark MTAC.

"How's the case going Gibbs?" Morrow asked as soon as he was settled.

"It's going." Gibbs stared at the screen.

Silence ruled for a couple of minutes while they watched agents take down a desert convoy. A round of applause rose up and then the screen blacked out.

"DiNozzo still holding up?" Morrow turned to him.

Gibbs' mind unwittingly conjured up the image of waking up with Tony still sleeping, lying across his lap this morning.

"Yeah, he's good." Gibbs forced a lighter than usual tone.

Morrow snorted.

"I saw him yesterday. Kids a wreck and you can't lie for shit right now Leroy."

Gibbs ducked his head, allowing himself a moment to put his game face back on. He should have known there was no fooling the Director of NCIS.

"Miller has a meeting with Tony's father this morning. I intend to be there." Gibbs resigned to sticking to the facts and providing an update on the case, his reason for being there after all.

Morrow didn't comment and for a moment Gibbs thought he could see the truth past the lie and was considering taking them off the case although.

"Keep me informed Agent Gibbs," he said in his Directorial tone, before adding much more softly, "and if there's anything I can do for Agent DiNozzo and your team, just ask."

"Thanks Tom," Gibbs nodded gratefully, quickly leaving MTAC before he could change his mind.

…

"What we got?" Gibbs demanded, swiftly entering the bullpen and taking a seat at his desk.

Surprisingly Tony stood up first, beating both Kate and McGee to the punch.

"I got in touch with the Adams House. It seems there's at least one upside to having the same name as the old man." He forced a jovial tone, but it fell flat. "He has reservations for brunch at eleven. I added two more to the party."

Gibbs levelled a glare at him.

"You want to do this?"

Tony immediately dropped the grin and looked around guardedly at McGee and Kate before answering.

"It's what this is all about isn't it? Miller wants to talk to me, better I do it on our terms than wait for him to find me."

"Tony-" Kate spoke up.

"It's fine. Isn't it, boss?" Tony snapped, glaring hard back at Gibbs and daring him to say it wasn't.

"You added two?" Gibbs checked seeing how determined he was.

Tony shrugged and his well held gaze was suddenly dropped to the floor before looking back up again, pleading smile now in place.

"If… you're okay with that?" He asked nervously causing Gibbs' heart to almost brake in two.

He gave a succinct nod, watching Tony return to his desk and then tilted his head at Kate, indicating she should follow him out of the bullpen. Gibbs waited inside the car for mere seconds before pressing the button, watching her jump between the closing doors.

"Gibbs, what-"

Kate cut herself off when Gibbs pulled the emergency stop.

"Tony said you talked to him about hypnosis."

Her stance bristled.

"Gibbs it's a valid form of therapy I just think-"

"You know someone you can trust?" Gibbs interrupted her before she could begin the lecture.

"Yeah" Kate answered, surprised.

"Call them."

He started the car again, the doors opened almost immediately and he stepped out back into the squad room.

"Gibbs, wait-"

"Kate, he needs to know," Gibbs snapped, turning back to face her, "and not just for the case."

…

"Did you know that's how I ended up talking to my first body?"

"Ducky," Tony visibly startled, "you scared the crap out of me."

"Not my intention I assure you," Ducky chuckled, walking away from behind Tony to the other side of the autopsy table. "Is there a reason Mr Bower is laying out on my table again?"

"I asked Jimmy to check something." Tony hinted, but said no more.

Ducky observed him, carefully examining every tick and frown line, taking in his closed off posture and clipped tone of voice, fitting the pieces together to form part of a puzzle.

"My boy, if there's something bothering you I can be a very understanding ear." He drawled, watching and waiting for Tony's reaction.

As Ducky hoped the young man that had made such an impression on his long-term friend the first time they'd met smiled and dropped his arms to his sides. A sign the M.E took to mean he was being let in.

"I had a nightmare last night." Shoving his hands in his pockets, head down, Tony walked away from the covered body of Craig Bower.

Ducky followed him, keeping up with his pace on the opposite side of the room.

"Gibbs thinks…" Tony swallowed, spun on his heels to gaze back fearfully at the body. "I dreamt I was abducted from my parent's home in Long Island."

His parent's home, not his home Ducky noted the syntax. A nugget to store away for another time he predicted.

"I saw him, the man who grabbed me, he had a tattoo, right here," Tony bared the underside of his forearm, "it was a river."

"A river?" Ducky frowned.

"A couple of wavy lines," Tony corrected, pulling his sleeve back up and doing the cuff.

"Ahh, and does he?" Ducky nodded towards Bower's body, lying out just as cold and lifeless as the last time he'd seen him.

Tony shrugged and suddenly the uncharacteristic shyness he was witnessing made sense to Ducky. The previous times Tony had looked upon Bower's face he'd suffered an embarrassing nervous reaction that had, in his eyes, gotten him in trouble with Gibbs.

"Well then, let's take a look," Ducky pulled on a pair of gloves and walked over to the table holding Bower.

He could have told the lad all he had to do was ask, but knew Tony already knew that. What stopped him asking was his on-going battle of insecurity of course. Confidence came and left Tony in sporadic leaps and bounds, and even if Ducky could get through to him that he had secured a place in their life's, it would mean very little unless the one man Tony had decided to devote himself to, acknowledged that place too.

Pulling the sheet swiftly back Ducky noticed Tony flinch, but was proud of him for not turning away when he saw Bower's face. He wanted to offer some words of comfort, but knowing they'd be ill appreciated right now he kept them to himself, believing that Tony could still feel the sentiments even if they were never spoken allowed.

The boy looked over at him with hooded eyes and Ducky nodded encouragingly. Without further hesitation Tony picked up Bowers arm and looked underneath. His face paled and he dropped the arm, wrapping his own back around him in an instant.

Ducky reacted immediately and pulled Tony over to sit down at his desk. Fetching him a cup of water he returned just in time for Gibbs to walk through the doors. Handing over the cup Ducky caught Gibbs' enquiring gaze and shook his head discreetly.

"DiNozzo, it's time to go." Gibbs said with purpose, eyeing Ducky over the top of Tony's head as he stood to follow orders.

Ducky nodded his understanding to Gibbs communicating he'd explain as soon as he could and watched Jethro wrap one arm casually across Tony's back ushering him out into the elevator, an action that would normally have had the younger man smiling with delight. Tony's complete none reaction however spoke to his troubled mental state and that worried Ducky most of all.

As soon as the autopsy doors closed he moved as fast as he could over to the dead body of Mr Bower. Picking up the forearm Tony had dropped and looking underneath he saw exactly what he expected to. Absolutely nothing.

Ducky checked the other forearm just in case, but both where as he remembered from the autopsy, clear from ink of any kind.

…

Gibbs let Tony lead the way through the Adams House Hotel restaurant. They could see Senior was already seated, but Miller was nowhere in sight.

"Dad," Tony greeted him coolly at the table.

"When they told me they'd managed my request for a bigger table I knew you had something to do with it." Senior smiled, seemingly unsurprised to see them. "How are you junior?"

Gibbs watched Tony closely. He stood staring at his father with the same closed off expression he'd worn since leaving autopsy. Though Gibbs had no doubt under that very expensive suit and tie Tony was probably shaking like a leaf, he had every confidence he could do this.

"I'm fine." Tony answered tightly.

"Where's Miller?" Gibbs demanded, hoping he wouldn't have to drag this out longer than they had to.

"Late." Senior snapped, looking peeved. "I thought maybe you'd arrested him."

"Now why would we do that?" Gibbs teasingly replied taking a seat.

Tony uncharacteristically remained silent, and standing until Gibbs put the glare on him.

"Junior," Senior spoke while Gibbs and he eyed one another, "why don't you fetch us some drinks from the bar? I'll have my usual."

Gibbs saw Tony flinch like he'd been hit and thought for a moment he was going to do as he father ordered. He stared up at him, making it very clear whose orders he should be following and silently instructed him to sit.

"Actually Dad," Tony began, taking his seat, "we have something to discuss."

Gibbs could tell from his body language that he was speaking with a confidence he didn't feel. If they weren't careful this could all go to hell in a hand basket within the blink of an eye.

"Interesting," Senior sat back, gesturing with his hands, "so discuss."

"I think we'll wait for Mr Miller to join us." Gibbs interjected, keeping his eyes fixed on his target.

Gibbs could see the nervous tension rolling off Senior in waves. Something was bugging him. The younger DiNozzo he sensed wasn't doing so well either. Whatever confidence he'd built up to come here vanished the minute he clapped eyes on his father, a man he may have spoken to, but definitely hadn't seen in over ten years.

"If he's going to show," Senior responded nonchalantly, trying to catch the attention of a passing waitress.

"And why wouldn't he?" Tony asked immediately.

Gibbs heard the panic in his tone even if senior didn't and covertly placed one hand on Tony's jittery knee underneath the table. There was no way senior would miss the gesture, but Gibbs could really care less at the moment. It was important DiNozzo remained as calm and collect as possible otherwise this whole op would be a bust.

"Well, seeing you two sat here might send him running, especially if he knows you want to talk to him." Senior aimed his narrowed eyed gaze at Tony, "Tell me junior, what has he done that you and your boss here want to talk to him so badly?"

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Senior, the man was good. Clearly the DiNozzo trait for subterfuge was genetic, there was no way this man had taken time out of his busy schedule to teach his son anything.

"Tony, go see if there's any sign of Miller outside," Gibbs sent him a glare when it looked like he might argue.

Tony stood, uttering a very subdued 'yes boss' before leaving the table.

"Gibbs you must tell me your secret." Senior leaned in once Tony was gone, "I could never get that boy to do anything I told him."

So many words went through Gibbs' head and he held in every last one of them. He deserved a friggin' medal. Luckily the waitress had finally come over to take senior's drink order, which ended up giving Gibbs a little extra time to compose himself and school his features.

"Mr DiNozzo I want you to tell me what really happened when Tony was six." He asked once she was gone.

"This again," senior huffed, "I thought I told you to leave it alone."

Gibbs looked to the heavens to give him strength, even the dumbest criminal would've have given up the rouse by now or at least made the connection.

"He knows Mr DiNozzo." Gibbs sighed out, seeing that he was going to have to come clean if he wanted to get any of the much needed answers he wanted.

"You told him?" Senior dropped the act, not doubt in panic.

"No." Gibbs shook his head.

Gibbs may have been the one to help fill in the details, but Bower and Miller had started all this off.

"Then who?" Senior demanded, slamming his fist down on the table rattling the recently placed scotch. "Miller?"

"What makes you think that?" Gibbs sent him a level look.

"You're asking questions about him." Senior shot back.

"You remember Craig Bower?"

"Of course I remember him. He hurt my son and don't even try to tell me he didn't." Senior pointed his finger at him and Gibbs only just resisted the urge to snap it off.

"Oh he had something to do with hurting him alright. In fact he tried again two days ago." Gibbs slapped a picture from the 7/11 down on the table. It was of Bower, gun in hand pushing Tony out the door. "He failed of course and then yesterday we found his body in a motel."

The temporary shock of hearing Bower had approached Tony again quickly faded from his face, but Gibbs saw it, no doubt. There was no mistaking that look of pure terror. It proved to Gibbs somewhere under all the bluster and bravado there was a father, just not enough of one to actively be there for his child when he needed him.

"That's no great loss to the world, I don't see how you think Henry could be involved though he-"

"I'm not finished." Gibbs growled, "Miller approached Tony at NCIS the same day Bower tried to take him, he apologised for Bower-"

"-Gibbs there's no way-"

"- Told him that he only wanted to talk, asked Tony to help him 'willing this time'. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

Senior was speechless and Gibbs remained silent.

"No sign of Miller boss." Tony reappeared.

Gibbs didn't break his glare from Senior as he stood from the table.

"I'm going to the head."

…

Tony sat down, nervously watching Gibbs leave without even a glance back in his direction.

"It's been a while." Senior drew his attention back to him.

The voice startled Tony, though he couldn't rightly say why. He was still on edge after what happened in autopsy, and sitting opposite his father after such a long absence wasn't helping his mental state any.

"Yeah, it has." Tony's leg jittered and he felt shame that he suddenly longed for Gibbs to return to offer a comforting hand of support.

How sad was it that sitting at the same table as his dad made him so nervous that he wished his boss was there to hold his hand. Tony would be the first to admit he had daddy issues, and mommy issues really, heck he had issues, point of fact. But he'd always done okay on his own. No one had held his hand when he'd be forced into boarding school. No one had looked out for him during his years fighting to get by at college. He'd earned his place on the police force the same way he did NCIS. He worked hard and people saw something in him worth keeping. He may not understand it himself, but if someone was willing to give him more than the time of day Tony was not going to snub it. Unless that person was his father of course, his dad only wanted to know him when it benefitted him.

His dad continued to look at him like he was a scheme that needed working and it made him very uncomfortable. Sweat gathered on his brow and Tony sort to wipe it away with a napkin. Granted it had been a very long time since he and his father had talked, even longer since they sat down together, but he'd never felt quite this exposed before. Something else must be wrong. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

He thought of Gibbs, he thought of his dream last night, he thought of falling asleep knowing he wasn't alone… he thought…he was falling apart.

"You alright, Junior?"

Tony snapped his head up with a crack, not realising he'd nearly face planted the table. Surprisingly the concern from his father actually sounded genuine.

"I'm fine," Tony coughed and cleared his throat. "Why?"

"Your agent Gibbs just told me about you knowing…"

"Knowing what dad?" Tony's voice was laced with sarcasm, "you mean about when I was six and I was apparently beaten and held for ransom, yeah I found out about that. Your good buddy Miller actually apologised for sending his lackey after me a second time, only I think that's only because the idiot failed in his assigned task."

"What have you told him about Miller?" Senior groused, any hint of concern gone like a leaf in the wind.

"Did you talk to Miller yesterday after speaking with Agent Gibbs?"

Tony bypassed his dad's question and senior saw fit to do the same to him.

"Henry was good to you, you owe him a lot."

"What exactly do I owe him dad?" Tony asked with a hint of contempt, falling for his dad's trap without realising. "By all accounts he was the one who kidnapped me twenty-five years ago and he's trying to do it again!"

"I don't believe it." Senior shook his head in firm denial.

"Believe it." Tony sat straight, not wanting or willing to listen to any more of his dad's excuses.

"Anthony, come on, your imagination has always been a little out there. Isn't it possible you misunderstood?"

"Misunderstood?" Tony repeated, incredulous.

"Well you said yourself you don't fully remember what happened all those years ago-"

"How could I understand if you never told me?" Tony challenged, glaring at the man who claimed to be his father, but right now Tony saw no resemblance. "They gave me ketamine Dad! And now for some reason I'm having memory issues, go figure."

"Lower your voice Anthony." Senior chastised through gritted teeth, smiling at the few diners whose attention had been drawn by Tony's outburst.

"Why did you lie in the police report?" He calmed as much as he could, knowing he was blowing it, but strangely not caring.

It was clear Miller wasn't going to show and Tony wasn't willing to let this opportunity to interrogate his father pass him by, he'd waited too damn long.

"I didn't lie." Senior huffed impatiently, making it very clear he was tired of the questioning.

Tony laughed at his father's audacity to lie to his face. Not because he was his son, no Tony expected lies and deceit every time they talked, he usually let it slide. But this time he was lying to a federal agent about an active case and if Senior thought he could get away with that without being challenged then he had another thing coming.

"I may not recall everything" Tony started with false calm, "but I know there's no way in hell we were in the park together on a Friday afternoon."

"Look Junior, I don't know what you're accusing me of but I-"

"Dad, I know alright, just tell me the truth." Tony sighed, getting fed up with the chase.

Senior looked pained, Tony couldn't believe his eyes when he saw him slump down in his seat looking defeated.

"I'm sorry, but your mother and I thought it best we pretend like it didn't happen." Senior spoke so calmly that it was almost Tony's undoing. "School had finished, it was the holiday weekend. Your mother was out with her friends and the nanny hadn't shown up. I had somewhere else to be but I couldn't take you with me…"

"Your mistress?" Tony smarted, slightly disappointed when all his father did was continue with his tale.

"So I put you to bed and left you at the house." He gave the final blow.

Tony cleared his throat after trying several times to find his voice.

"You left me," he paused, struggled to speak and started again, "you left a six old child home alone."

Senior nodded, Tony was still trying to understand how a parent did that.

"When I came home late and your mother asked me where you were I felt terrible."

"You felt terrible?" He exploded.

"It was an error in judgement."

He wanted to shout at the man for his utter stupidity, ask him why he hadn't loved him enough to protect and care for him like other parents did their children.

"Did you know Miller was involved?" He asked instead, knowing asking anything else was either pointless or could have him bailing like that six year old kid he once was.

"Junior I have no idea what's happening now, but he wasn't the one who took you!"

Gibbs returned just as Tony was reining in his temper. He looked to his boss, hoping his arrival meant this horrible conversation was over, the question clear in his eyes, but received a slightly more hesitant look than he was expecting. Instead of the expected nod that they'd got what they needed, Gibbs gave Tony a sad smile that sent his heart dropping down into his stomach.

"Mr DiNozzo, where were you yesterday afternoon, between four and six?" Gibbs stood before senior, expression the grimmest Tony had ever seen.

"Why? What happened yesterday afternoon?"

"Craig Bower was murdered."

"And you think I had something to do with it?" Senior laughed, but Tony began to panic.

Gibbs pulled out his cuffs as a threat, holding his arm out indicating senior was to stand under his own steam or Gibbs would be making him stand.

"You're going to have to come in, answer some questions."

"I will not." Senior shouted in outrage.

Tony looked around, the hotel staff and restaurant guests were all looking their way now and normally he'd be flashing his badge, looking all professional and enjoying the limelight while he assured the public they had nothing to be concerned about. However on this occasion he found he was indeed very concerned and unable to stand from his seat. This was not how his plan was supposed to go.

Tony looked up at his boss, hoping he would explain what was going on, but Gibbs didn't comply.

"Mr DiNozzo, we can do this quietly or with the cuffs." He heard Gibbs say to his Dad.

Senior quieten and Tony knew he'd chosen the first option.