Cheeriosity
Characters/Pairings: Sue, Brittany/Santana, Sugar, Quinn/Jesse, Beth, Rachel, Harmony, Mercedes/Sam, Aphasia, Kurt, Rory
Summary: Sue Sylvester didn't become the biggest name in the dance world by going easy on her students, but now that some of her former stars have enrolled their kids in her class, the shit's about to hit the fan.
A/N: Part 4.

"So…" Brittany begins, unsure of what to say, "You look like crap."

It's the truth, really. Rachel's never been particularly attractive in Brittany's mind, but with her unkempt hair and glasses, she looks like another person entirely. A crappy-looking person. She doesn't smell much better either.

"Didn't have time to shower after work," Rachel says breathlessly. "C'mon, we gotta go, we gotta catch up!"

"The bus is halfway to Chicago by now. What's another twenty minutes?" Brittany replies.

"Fine," Rachel huffs, "we'll stop by my house, but you're staying in the car."

For once, Brittany agrees.

…

Meanwhile on the bus, Quinn and Santana discuss the latest development.

"I hope they make it in time," Quinn says.

"They will."

"H-how can you be so sure?"

Santana winks at Quinn while scrolling through the contacts on her phone. Her wife's never missed a competition and she'll be damned if today is any exception. "Sugar Britches isn't the only one who knows how to get things," she boasts. "I have a few… acquaintances on the police force who owe me some favors."

"And by acquaintances you mean dirty cops and by favors you mean money," Quinn fills in the blanks. "Let me guess, they're just gonna let Brittany off with a warning if they catch her speeding?"

"Like they'd even stop her in the first place," says Santana with a laugh. As the most powerful drug lord in Ohio, she has some major pull. "But seriously, let me use your phone. Mine's been tapped."

"Cool, Aphasia, you're really getting the hang of it!" Sam cheers as he looks over his stepdaughter's shoulder.

"What are you talkin' about? This Pikachu's a pika-pussy. He died four times," she says, eyes glued to the screen. "Make that five times."

Sam chuckles. "He just fainted. Have you caught any other Pokémon? Generation 1 is totally the best because–"

"Sam," Aphasia interrupts, "if you keep watching me like that, Pikachu won't be the only one that faints."

…

"New York!" Rachel shouts. She and Brittany have been playing the license plate game for about ten minutes now and she is so winning… mostly because Brittany's not really playing. "6 down, 44 to go."

"Wouldn't you rather take a nap?" Brittany asks, praying that the answer is yes.

Rachel gazes out the window, looking far off into the distance. She thinks about how disappointed Harmony must feel. "I was dead on my feet around four this morning," she reveals. "A friend offered to drive me home, but..."

…

"She probably didn't recognize Quinn's number. That's why she forgot to call me back, right?" Harmony asks Sugar. "I know she's on her way, but I deserve a call, even if I don't have my own cell phone."

Sugar pats her hand. "I feel your pain. I'm between phones right now and it's like I don't even know what to do with myself! I'm a mess. I'm crying on the inside way harder than you're crying on the outside."

"Traditional Irish stepdance," Kurt says, lecturing Rory on the finer points of performance, "wins 'em over every time. Just don't mix up your hornpipes and treble jigs."

Rory frowns. "Which is which again?"

…

"Wow," is all Brittany can say when Rachel finishes her story.

"Yeah," Rachel agrees. "So what is it that you do? I know Santana's the largest distributor of baked goods in Ohio, right?"

"Something like that," Brittany answers. "I work from home."

Rachel blinks. "That's all I get? I just told you my life saga!" she exclaims.

"I work from home… on the computer?"

"Now you're just doing that on purpose," says Rachel.

Brittany sighs. She's never had to spend this much time with Rachel before and frankly, it's exhausting. She's not sure how Santana is able to sit through rehearsals without popping a cap in Rachel's ass. "Look, all I want is to be on that bus with my wife while my kid orders Space Goo over the phone," Brittany says. "But I can't because I didn't dance for Sue Sylvester. You know what? Neither did you. And you get to ride the bus with your daughter and I don't. What makes you special?"

"Brittany, I–"

"You should've seen the look on Harmony's face," Brittany continues, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turn white. "Never saw a more disappointed kid in my life."

…

Santana combs through Sugar's hair with her fingers as the bus comes to a stop outside the convention center. "Remember what I told you, sweet pea?"

Sugar nods. "Always keep the Feds off my trail and the wax out of my ears."

"Although you can never be too careful when it comes to wax buildup, I was actually talking about our little bet," says Santana.

"Oh yeah," Sugar says. She racks her brain, trying to remember which deal she had with her Mami. "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll place in the top three."

Confused, Santana replies, "As long as Harmony gets fourth, I guess."

Sugar kisses her cheek. "Gotta go sign in. Love you!"

"Put a little pep in your step, kids!" Sue yells across the crowded lobby. She pushes a small child aside. "Coming through."

"Is there a prize for the peppiest?" Harmony asks excitedly. Her mother may not be in Chicago just yet, but she'll still arrive in time to see her perform. That's all that matters.

Sugar giggles into Rory's shoulder. "My mami puts pep in her brownies all the time, but she says I can't try one until college," she whispers.

Sue clears her throat and gives her students a devilish smirk. "Ladies, let the games begin."