Sugar blows past Roz Washington and her Olympic Dancers as she searches for Rory backstage.
"Wow, Sugar, you are an incredible dancer," Rory blushes once Sugar spots him.
Sugar shrugs. "You should hear me sing."
"Look, I'm trying to pay you a compliment-"
"I prefer cash," Sugar replies.
"I like you!" he blurts out. He covers his mouth.
The last person who liked Sugar was in kindergarten. He ran away after kissing her on the cheek and never spoke to her again. Rory's got the same look - like he might bolt at any second. "I've never had a boyfriend before," Sugar replies. She considers it. "Will you buy me whatever I want?"
"I'll buy you whatever I can afford," he promises.
On stage, April continues to wow the crowd. "We'll be back with the results of the girls' individual competition after a twenty minute intervention," she reads off her cue cards. "Whoops! I'm thinkin' that was supposed to say intermission."
"Sadly it wasn't," Sandy says dryly. He's past caring - he just wants to be paid so he can get back to his doll collection. They miss Daddy when he goes away.
April brings her microphone to her lips. "Here's a little word from the wise, kids. Don't spend all your money on booze."
"That's good advice." Santana stands up, gathering her program and other belongings. She passes the judges table and winks before following the rest of the group into the lobby.
"Have you heard from Sue?" Quinn asks her.
After all if anyone can triangulate Sue's location, it's Santana. "Who cares about that bitch anyway? I think we're better off without her," Santana says, smirking.
"What if she suffered a mental breakdown? Teaching dance is sort of all she has," Quinn replies. "We at least owe it to her to make sure she's okay. She hasn't been the same since her sister died."
"Quinn's right, Santana," Rachel says, butting into the conversation. "Without Sue, would you have met Brittany in the first place?"
"I guess not," Santana mumbles. "Fine. I'll make some calls."
"There you are," Sugar sighs dramatically with Rory trailing behind her. She gives each of her moms a hug. "How was I?" she asks.
"You were beautiful," Brittany tells her.
"Agreed," Rory says.
Santana glares at him. "You were the best one out there, Sugar Britches."
"Cool. Can I have my fat stack of cash back?" Sugar asks.
Quinn rolls her eyes. If Sugar's this bratty now, God only knows how terrible she'll be as a teenager. Brittany and Santana are doomed.
"Half now, half when we get home," Santana says, digging through her purse.
Sugar shrugs, although she's pleased. Her parents always come through for her and that's more than Harmony can say for her deadbeat mom - Sue's words, not hers.
"Has anyone seen my dad?" Rory asks. "I can't believe I did this all for him and he didn't even watch. I hate dancing!"
"You do?"
Rory turns around to see his father looking crestfallen. "Dad."
"You hate dancing?" Kurt repeats as a question. He knew this day would come - he just didn't think it would be so soon. Rory didn't have the same passion for dancing that he did when he was a child.
Rory nods slowly. "I only ever did it to make you proud of me."
"I am proud of you," Kurt says. "You make good grades and you mostly stay out of trouble except when Sugar's involved-"
"Hey!" Brittany, Santana, and Sugar all reply, offended he would say such a thing.
Kurt places his hands on his son's shoulders. "Rory, I just want you to be happy. If that doesn't include hornpipes and treble jigs, then so be it."
"What if I like NASCAR?" says Rory.
"Maybe when you can legally drive," Kurt says. "We'll start small. Like go-karts or something."
Rory nods. "Deal."
"I think this trip has been good for everyone," Sam says as he watches Kurt and Rory make up. "Right, Aphasia?"
"Right Mister - Sam," Aphasia corrects herself. After giving her stepfather a chance, she's realized he's not so bad after all. "Hurry up and link your Game Boy to mine so I can wipe the floor with your scrawny ass. And why are there no black Pokémon trainers?"
"If only your mom could see us right now," Sam grins, pulling the gaming consoles out of his backpack.
"Look, look, look," Santana says into her cell phone. "I am sending you her picture now. Her name is Sue Sylvester."
"Should we be worried about Sue?" Rachel asks Quinn. Until last night Rachel thought Santana sold baked goods. Now the truth is out and it frightens her a little. What's worse is that she still doesn't know what Brittany does for a living.
"Nah, she's indestructible," Quinn reassures her. "Like a cockroach."
"There you are. Can we talk?" Jesse says to his wife.
Rachel gives Quinn an encouraging look. "I'll just check on Harmony."
Both Quinn and Jesse watch her leave. "I want a divorce," Quinn begins the same time Jesse says, "I want to get back together."
"No," they both reply.
Only a few feet away from them, Santana begins to raise her voice. "What do you mean she's had this plane ticket booked for months? Fuck. I knew it was a mistake to pay cash a year in advance," she seethes. "But she conned all of us. Not just me."
"This is why our marriage isn't working. We both want different things," Quinn points out to Jesse.
"It's not working out because we're not working on our marriage at all! I'm living in a Motel 6 off the interstate," he argues. "Let me move back in and you'll see."
"No," Quinn says. "I can't lead you on."
Jesse nods his head as if he was expecting that to be her answer. "I knew there had to be someone else. How will we break the news to Beth?"
"After this weekend we'll all go out for dinner," Quinn promises.
"How the hell would I know if she has any tattoos?" Santana shouts into her phone from across the lobby. "I've only ever seen her hands, neck, and face! And thank God for that."
The lights blink once signalling the award ceremony is about to begin.
"Shit, I have to go," Santana says, hanging up. She follows Jesse and Quinn into the auditorium and takes a seat next to Brittany. "I have some bad news about Sue," she tells her.
"It can wait," Brittany replies.
"Be professional no matter how much she provokes you," Sandy reminds himself before stepping into the spotlight.
"Welcome back err'body!" April slurs.
"We thank you for your patience," Sandy adds. "Our judges took longer deliberating than we anticipated. April, how did you spend your intermission?" Sandy asks.
"I took a sobriety test," she answers.
Sandy frowns. "How'd you do?"
"Worser than Charlie Brown tryin' to kick a football," she laments. "It's back to County for me after this, but I won't be in there long. I never am. I'll be back on the Rhodes before you know it! Get it? Ha! My last name is Rhodes."
"Let's just get this shit over with," Sandy moans. "First age group: eight to ten years. In third place, we have... Rory!"
All of the Cheeriosity parents stand up and cheer, urging him out of his seat.
Shocked, Rory goes up on stage to claim his award. "I thought I was going to be judged with the other boys," he whispers to Sandy.
"And I thought I was going to host this gig solo," Sandy whispers back. "You want a trophy or not?"
"I'll take it," Rory says.
"Atta girl," Sandy tells him. "Second place goes to... Harmony!"
"I demand a recount!" Rachel yells from the audience.
"Sorry, lady. No recounts. I can't even recount how I got here," says April.
Harmony taps April on the shoulder. "Can I borrow your microphone?"
"Where the hell did you come from?" April asks, alarmed.
"I was backstage," Harmony tells her.
April hands it over. "Talk as long as you want, honey. I'm gonna make a run for it while you distract 'em."
"Mom?" Harmony says. "I know we don't have as much money as a lot of other people, but I just want to say thanks for working so hard to keep me in dance. I'm sorry I got so upset that you missed the bus. I love you."
Aphasia yawns. "What a suck up."
Harmony hands her mic to Sandy since April is nowhere to be seen.
"That was lovely. You remind me of this American Girl doll I have. She has mommy issues," Sandy says, dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief.
"So did a lot of guys at the strip club," Sam says.
Sandy clears his throat. "And now the moment we've all been waiting for. The winner of the age eight to ten category is... Sugar!"
Sugar leaps out of her seat. "I won?" she says, confused. First a boyfriend and now this? It must be karma.
Brittany nudges her with her shoulder. "Go get your trophy, Sugar Britches."
"You know what this means, right?" Santana asks Brittany after seeing the look of pure joy on Sugar's face.
Brittany scrunches her nose. "We'll have to rig a lot more dance competitions."
"Yep," Santana agrees. She shakes her head solemnly. "We gotta learn how to tell her no."
"Never gonna happen," Brittany says, bringing her wife in for a kiss as their daughter hoists the enormous first place trophy in the air.
Next chapter: epilogue!