Tony?
Feeling the light breeze near his ear, he batted his hand out blindly, shooing the nuisance away.
Tony?
The whispery voice said again only with more urgency. He frowned, drawing his eyebrows down and together until he looked almost pained.
"Tony!"
Tony suddenly launched himself up, gasping, air rushing into his lungs so fast he choked out a hoarse Gibbs! which died on his dry and chapped lips.
"Hey!" A pissed off voice snapped forcefully, making Tony jerk away before he could even open his eyes, "Hey," the same voice repeated, only much more gently and continued in the same fashion, "you're okay, DiNozzo."
That didn't sound right. The one thing Tony could be certain of right now was that he was most definitely not okay. His head was throbbing for one and the last thing he remembered was being unable to do anything while a madman shot at his Boss and teammates. Opening sore and gritty eyes he couldn't see much as he looked around the dark room, but when the voice spoke again he thought maybe he recognised the owner.
"Gibbs?" Tony squinted into the blackness trying to get a glimpse of the person standing above him.
It felt like his eyeballs where sucking in air and it was hard to keep his lids open for any prolonged length of time. The headache wasn't dissipating either, which made concentrating on his situation a little difficult too.
"You've been asleep awhile," Gibbs' voice said when he could do no more than blink and grab fists full of his hair to distract himself from the pain pounding away in his head, "you feeling ok?"
"I thought you got shot?" Tony quickly dismissed the question in favour of asking one of his own.
Blinking continuously to try and clear the fog that was obstructing his vision he could just about make out Gibbs' silhouette through the murky darkness. Whether it was actually dark or that was just his eye sight was a question he wasn't ready to ask.
"Come on, I'm taking you home." Gibbs told him.
Tony felt a warm palm take each of his and force him to loosen the hold he had on his hair. He frowned. The sensation felt off somehow, the hands holding his smaller than he remembered.
"Home?" Tony snatched his hands back as if the touch burned. "I thought I thought… I thought I was with Miller… What happened?"
"You collapsed in the parking lot. Don't you remember?"
"No." Tony shook his head, he really, really didn't.
He managed to open his eyes fully and was momentarily relived when he could see clearly for the first time. That was, until Gibbs smiled at him…
Tony?
The voice again, but this time Gibbs' lip didn't move.
Tony?
Tony covered his ears trying to block it out.
"Tony!"
He came to gasping, just like he had in the dream, almost coughing up a lung with the speed he sucked in air.
"Shauna?" Tony choked out, catching a brief glance of her sitting in-front of him before the coughing forced his eyes shut.
The van hit a pot hole jostling them both and Tony only narrowly avoided banging his head against the door. Swallowing down the nausea he took some time to ground himself, but quickly came to the conclusion that this was real, no doubt about it. As soon as the ride smoothed out enough for Tony to get his footing he pulled himself up and lunged for the doors. They didn't open despite him giving it everything he had, so he shouted as loud as he could, banging on the steel interior hoping someone on the outside would hear him and call the police. He wasn't expecting miracles, but he wanted to give McGee any help he could with the BOLO.
"Tony stop!" Shauna shouted at him.
"Why?" Tony snapped and spun around to glare at her.
"Why what?" She snapped back with a seething look.
Unable to voice what he truly wanted Tony screamed out of frustration and kicked at the door one final time before dropping to the floor, burying his head in his hands. He was hurt and scared and angry and didn't know which feeling he should address first. His head was hurting like a bitch - that unfortunately had travelled with him from his dream into the conscious world – and he couldn't understand how he'd managed to screw things up so badly in such a small space of time.
Sat on the other side of the van Tony heard Shauna huff her irritation with him. Sneaking a glance her way he saw her reached into her top and pull out a cigarette packet. Removing one she held it out, offering it to him. Tony bit his bottom lip to prevent him from mouthing off all the angry thoughts he was thinking about her and shook his head.
"It's not like he can object," she said as an aside, tucking the packet back in her bra, keeping the one out for herself. "He's gone. You don't need to be afraid of him anymore."
"I was never afraid of him!" Tony broke his vow of silence, tumbling over when the van took a sharp turn.
He remembered Gibbs getting shot, the image of his body, jerking with the force of the bullet before falling lifelessly to the floor of the NCIS garage, had been playing on an endless and torturous loop in the back of his mind since he woke up. He didn't need Shauna playing mind games with him, convincing him Gibbs had been as manipulative and controlling as every other authority figure in his life.
Shauna slid across the floor toward him, her tone soft "Look Anthony-"
"Don't call me that," he lashed out to prevent her getting any closer, his voice strained and broken.
"Okay," Shauna stressed like he was no more trouble than an especially difficult nine year old, "I know you're mad at me, but I didn't think telling you the whole truth would have been a good idea."
"Yes and lying works so much better." Tony snapped back, matching her sarcastic tone.
"Jesus, what do you want me to say?" She climbed to her knees.
Tony bit his lip hard before lifting his head and pinning her with a deadly look.
"I want you to say your dad didn't just kill the only person who ever thought I was worth something." He whispered dangerously.
"Hey you got your boss shot," Shauna shot back, pointing at him angrily. "Don't try and pass the blame because you keep letting people control you."
"Nobody controls me." Tony laughed emphatically, masking his doubt.
"You're joking right? You always did anything your dad asked to get his attention. He took advantage, took you for granted and it's the same with those people." Shauna wafted her hand in no particular direction, but he understood who she meant. "They say jump and you ask how high, you've not changed."
Shauna lit the cigarette she'd been holding and sat back looking innately pleased with her reasoning. Tony merely glared at her, trying to keep up the pretence of not believing her if nothing else.
The van stopped suddenly with a jolt, knocking them both off balance yet again. Tony continued to stare angrily at Shauna as he righted himself, doing everything in his power to control his breathing and prevent the impending panic attack her careless words had induced.
He heard a door being slammed shut up front and then the doors opened at the back letting in a sliver of predawn moonlight.
"We ready?" Miller stepped inside.
Tony didn't pause, he went for him, managing to reach and grab hold before another headache like the one that crippled him back at NCIS took hold. Unfortunately Miller wasn't as woozy and unsteady as Tony, so although he still fell under Tony's weight he didn't waste the advantage and quickly took back the upper-hand. Miller slapped him so hard Tony spiralled and face planted the floor. With his head feeling like it was packed full of wool he only just caught the sensation of cool steal going around his wrist, which told him Miller had found his handcuffs.
"Shame your agent Gibbs didn't put up this much of a fight to get to get you back," Miller chuckled pulling him up to lean against the side of the van next to the open door, "could have had some fun."
"Thought you said you weren't a killer." Tony whispered sourly, taking the opportunity to look outside to get an idea of where they were.
Miller leant down and grabbed his chin, forcing Tony to look him in the eye. They stared at each other and Tony tried not to let on how desperate and lost he was feeling. Miller's eye suddenly widened with understanding though, a twisted smile forming slowly on his face told him he'd failed at that too.
"It was self-defence, he left me no choice," Miller excused calmly, letting him go and giving a nonchalant shrug that had Tony fighting his cuffs just for the chance of getting a hit in. "I've done you a favour, Anthony. You're better off without him, him and your father."
"Gibbs is ten times the man that you or my father is," Tony spat.
"Was." Miller said bluntly, drilling his point home. "He's dead."
"You don't know that for sure." Tony hoped, prayed he didn't know for sure.
"They didn't even call an ambulance." Shauna stood up and joined her father looking down on Tony. "What does that tell you?"
Tony didn't know how they could know that, unless… he sighed and dropped his head to his knees. There was another accomplice, one working at the Navy Yard. It explained how Miller managed to freely enter and exit the navy yard despite the bolo, bringing that car in and parking it right outside the NCIS building? He'd been rubbing it in their faces the entire time...
"You're alone now. You need me." Miller grabbed his arm pulling Tony reluctantly to his feet.
"I need my friends." Tony managed to snap back, swallowing down his fear, hiding his true feelings the best he could. It wasn't easy despite all the practiced he'd had from living with his dad.
"You just got their boss killed you really think your friends will take you back?"
A loud knock on the van door saved Tony from having to really think about that question, which was lucky for him because if they were telling the truth and Gibbs really was dead he knew he wouldn't like the answer.
"Our ride's here," Miller announced, dragging him roughly towards the door.
Covering the handcuffs with her jacket Shauna quickly followed as Miller pushed him out of the van. Tony tripped over his own feet when he fell, but he managed to make the distraction last long enough to take a good look at his surroundings and immediately recognised his location as Pax River Airbase.
"What's happening?" He asked as they purposefully made their way across the tarmac towards a small charter plane ready and waiting on the runway.
As the trio approached Miller broke off to have a conversation with someone whom Tony assumed was the pilot and Shauna stepped up to board the plane, turning around to look down on him with a smile.
"We're going home Tony."
She then turned her back on him and climbed the stairs, assuming he'd follow. Miller was still conversing, paying him no attention. This was probably going to be his best chance to make a run for it… but then what did he have to run to? The answer devastated him. No one. Without Gibbs in his life he really was all alone. He'd burnt his bridges with NCIS that was for sure, even if he still had his job who would work with him after this? McGee and Kate would never trust him, Abby and Ducky would hate him and Palmer would most likely not want to associate with him on the basis that he'd be blacklisted by proxy. Tony now understood why Gibbs was so against his plan in the first place. Taking stupid risks never paid off, he should have known that without the boss having to shout it at him. All Tony had wanted was to end this and at the time hadn't cared how, but now Gibbs had paid the ultimate price for his stupidity. Paid with his life.
He guessed his career in law enforcement really was over for him now, not that it matter much in terms of loss. He'd quit tomorrow if it meant Gibbs would still be alive. He'd told him three years ago, he didn't think he was cut out to be a cop and it seemed he'd just proved himself right. Feeling the shock wear off and grief begin to settle in Tony forced his feet to move and followed Shauna's path up the stairs. Boarding the plane he smiled sadly to himself thinking about all that he'd lost and wondered how the hell he could have screwed up so badly.
TBC…
A/N: As usual I thank each and everyone one of you for your reviews, they do mean a lot and tend to spur me on to write faster - 3. I hope you all enjoyed this one and just so you know I'm hoping to post the next few and penultimate chapter within the next couple of days so watch this space…. :D