The Only Exception
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. -W. Somerset Maugham
Lydia was still camped out on the sofa when Autumn slipped back into the house, the cold seeping in behind her. She turned to observe her cousin, taking in the flushed cheeks and the blue lips. "Sit down," she said quietly.
Autumn cautiously moved towards the couch and perched next to Lydia. The older woman tossed a heavy blanket around her shoulders and Autumn nearly retreated into it completely. She hadn't realized how cold she was, but now that feeling was sneaking back into her stiff limbs she began to shiver.
"Where's your friend?" Lydia asked quietly.
"I'm sure he's around," Autumn chattered. She pulled the blanket more firmly around herself. For a brief moment she'd actually forgotten all the stuff back home she'd had to sort out. Just hanging out, like normal people, had been fun. Even though Betelgeuse was far from normal, it had felt like a casual date.
He made her laugh and that was exactly what she'd needed.
"I think you should break up with Craig." Lydia finally said. She got up to toss a few more chunks of wood into the fire and returned to the sofa. She fixed her dark eyes on the young woman. "He reminds me a lot of Rick." Rick had been Lydia's university sweetheart. At first they'd been inseparable. He'd loved Lydia's dark ways, though he didn't share them. But as usual, the moment the novelty wore off, he was trying to change her, coax her into clothing and activities that just didn't suit her. Lydia had cast him out rather quickly after that.
Autumn was taking her sweet time and Lydia feared she'd find herself shipwrecked first.
"I'm going to," she finally replied. "In the morning, I'll sit him down and tell him it's over. Then I need you to get him out of here."
"No problem," Lydia nodded. "I need to get home anyways. I wanted to make sure you'd be alright though, but I don't think I need to worry."
Autumn smiled. "Yes, I'll be fine. Once things quiet down, I'm going to finish my manuscript. And if I get too frustrated, I have the perfect outlet."
Both woman laughed.
From the staircase, Betelgeuse lounged invisible. He'd been eavesdropping, of course. Looks like little Lydia was giving her own personal brand of approval. And he'd practically gloated when Lydia outright supported the dumping of Craig. Seemed like everyone was on the same page except for the sulking brat upstairs.
Speaking of...his green eyes swiveled up the room at the top of the stairs. A wicked smirk lit his molded face and a delicious idea was forming. "Boo," he chuckled to himself.
A buzzing sound pulled Craig from his sleep and he reached blearily for his phone, which was sitting on Autumn's night stand. "Hello."
"Hello, pretty boy," a crackling voice came through the speaker. "You've been chosen as a contestant for a game show. It's your lucky night, punk!"
Craig sat up straight and growled into the phone. "Who are you, how'd you get this number?"
A maniacal cackle and then. "I'm the ghost with the most, boy. And your number...is up!"
At that, the wall paper began to peel and blood dripped from the walls. Craig dropped the phone in shock as a figure stepped from the blood. A figure with wild blonde hair and sunken eyes. "Who the hell are you?!" he all but screeched.
Betelgeuse smirked. "Welcome boils and ghouls, I'm your host. Tonight's guest is Craig Martin and are we gonna put him through the ringer or what?" Ghostly cheers rang out from the walls, which had given way to stadium style seating. Craig stumbled back from a group of skeletal ladies wearing blonde wigs that tried to grope him.
"Honorable guest!" the poltergeist cried. "If you'd please have a seat..." A massive electric chair appeared behind Craig and he tumbled backwards into it, leather straps immediately securing his wrists and feet. "Now, if you can answer the next five questions correctly, you get to live! And if you don't..." here Betelgeuse stopped and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"No," Craig moaned, quivering violently from terror. "No, please. Just let me go. Please, I'll do anything, just let me go!"
"Anything?"
"Yes!"
A chorus of excited laughter rang up from the spectral crowd. "You heard him, folks! He'll do anything to save his hide. Well, boy, what are you willing to give up to save your pulse, huh?"
"What?" the boy's brow furrowed. An image of Autumn flashed in his mind. Could he give her up? Was any of this really even happening? It felt real enough, the leather strips were digging into his skin hard enough to chafe and draw blood.
"How about your girlfriend?" Betelgeuse asked as casually as he could, buffing his ragged nails against the striped jacket. "How about a trade? You go and she takes your place."
"No way!" the kid snarled. "I won't let you take her!"
Almost bored, the poltergeist flicked his wrists and a horde of striped snakes began slithering up the electric chair, wrapping around Craig's limbs and hissing. The boy's body seized up, he'd always been afraid of snakes. "How about now, kid?"
Mutely, Craig shook his head. No, he wouldn't give in. But he couldn't hold back when several pairs of fangs simultaneously punctured his skin, their poison sinking into his blood-stream and leaving a burning trail in it's wake. His head snapped back and he screamed. "Take her. Take her. Please, just stop!"
Success.
The next time he blinked, Craig found himself sitting on Autumn's bed. The room was dark and there was no sign of ghouls or bleeding walls. The snakes were gone too. Had it all just been a very vivid nightmare? The skin on his wrists and ankles weren't bleeding anymore. And there were no bite marks, he checked his body...wait. With dread, he slowly pulled up the left leg of his jeans.
Two small holes.
"Jesus Christ..." his breath came out in a loud whoosh. His phone buzzed again and he nearly leaped out of his skin. There was a text message and with trembling fingers, Craig opened it.
We got a trade, kid.
The next morning, Autumn found herself waking up on the couch. Again. She seemed to be making a habit of this, she mused to herself. The fire had burned itself out long ago, but the sunlight streaming through the window was enough to warm her. She yawned and stretched, remembering her conversation the night before with Lydia. Yes, today marked the end.
As she sat up, Autumn realized there were voices coming from the kitchen. Frantic voices. Stumbling forward, she made her way to them and stopped bemusedly in the doorway. Craig had his bags packed and he was trying to force the car keys into Lydia's hand. For her part, Lydia was trying to calm down his panicked muttering.
"What's going on?"
They both looked over at her voice. Craig stormed forward and took both her hands in his. "I'm sorry, babe. I can't stay here any longer. There's...something wrong with this house. I have to go."
"What happened?" she gave him a puzzled look. There was a tumble of words about snakes and spooks and electric chairs and then he was grabbing his bag and heading for the door.
"I'll see you when you come back, okay?"
She turned to regard him calmly. "I'm not coming back."
He stopped short, eyes wide. "What?"
"I'm not coming back. I'm going to stay here, Craig."
It took a moment for realization to dawn. "You mean, it's over?"
She nodded. For some reason, she expected to feel guilty or remorseful. At the very least sympathetic. Instead, there was only a peaceful acceptance. this was right.
Lydia, seeing that Craig didn't even have words to express what had just been dumped on him (literally), pulled Autumn into a hug and told her to take care before grabbing Craig by the elbow and steering him out the front door. Autumn stood in the doorway, listening as the car engine revved up and then faded into the distance.
"Well, that was easy." Betelgeuse had materialized behind her and was reclining against the wall.
A rueful smile painted her lips. Autumn turned to look at him, taking in his smug expression. "No thanks to you, I'm sure."
He shrugged. "Hey, I couldn't help myself. The boy was practically asking for it."
She wanted to be angry at him for his antics, but she wasn't. In fact she was in such a good mood all of a sudden, she felt like making them breakfast. "Pancakes or waffles?"
Betelgeuse looked a bit taken aback for a moment, but then he grinned. "Waffles, babes. Of course."