The demon knocked Sam out and Dean jumped on its back. He tried to stab it in the chest, struggling for a long time with it until it threw him off and he slammed hard into the ground, the knife flying from his hand. He lay dazed and the demon grinned.
"I will get to you later, I have something special in mind for you." It smiled wickedly and turned back to Sam. Dean couldn't have that. He couldn't fight the thing but he could get it away from Sammy at all costs. He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply before running the other direction and out onto the street. He ran, knowing it would follow, knowing it would catch him, especially since he was injured, but also knowing if he gave it time, gave it long enough, Sam would wake up and either save him or get away.
Dean had no clue how long he ran until he felt the fist to his back. His spine went numb and his legs gave out and he collapsed to the pavement, hard, sparks of color and white pain flashing in front of his eyes. He groaned and tried to crawl away. He crawled into the alley and was flipped roughly over, a hand crushing his lips and almost suffocating him as he struggled, finally getting at least his nose free for some air.
"Just so impatient." The demon hissed. Dean felt an unpleasant tug at his pants and heard his belt being messed with.
He struggled and groaned and tried to make it as hard as he could for the demon to do whatever he was going to. The hand gripping his face lifted his head and smacked it into the pavement again causing blinding sparks in his swimming vision and the demon let go of his face and started to pet his hair.
"Now, I want you to do a few things for me. Of course most of it will just happen. I want you to go to your angel, that bastard needs to know how a demon defiled his precious human." This gave Dean a new energy and he started to struggle again and the demon grabbed his throat, constricting his airway for what seemed like forever until his vision swam then went completely dark. He didn't know how long that lasted before his vision came back and he gasped and choked.
"Now, hold still." The demon warned running his hands up Dean's torso under his shirt causing unpleasant shivers. Dean tried to struggle but the nausea overwhelmed him and he coughed trying to keep the bile from rising in his throat as it burned his esophagus.
It took a few good yanks until the creature above Dean could get his jeans off then undo his own pants.
"Beg, Winchester." Dean's lips pressed into a tight line. The evil being above him gripped his hips so tight Dean gasped and could feel the bruising, he almost could feel his hip bones being crushed and he exhaled before letting out a whine, " Beg me to stop."
"N….Never!" Dean growled and the demon slammed into him. Dean gasped and screamed and struggled against the hold on his hips. As he was slammed into Dean felt the most pain he had ever felt on Earth, what fragile hold he had on his sanity started to slip and Dean started to cry. This was the one thing that he had control over, who and when he had sex with. He started to claw at the face and chest above as his vision swirled with darkness, tears and flashes of painful light, the cold of the pavement seeped into his very bones, his back scraped the hard stone.
He choked, "S..stop…stop… please stop…" But this made the male above himn thrust harder as he screamed, finally giving into the white blinding pain until the demon finally came. Dean lay on the ground, tears streaming down his face as the demon yanled Dean's pants haphazardly back on and left them unzipped and the belt undone.
"Your angel will never want such a dirty creature like you, soiled now in every way." It hissed and Dean whimpered curling onto his side.
Castiel paced the hotel room. The youngest Winchester was better at finding Dean when he was missing, so he told Cas to just wait at the hotel, so he waited. He sighed angrily at how useless he felt. He wiped his face furiously and almost jumped out of his skin when a loud knock rang through the room. He went to the door and it only take a peek out the window and he knew who was at the door. He flung it open and Dean fell heavily in the door. Castiel tried to catch him but as Dean clutched Castiel's upper arms they both fell to their knees.
Dean huffed and sat back still holding Castiel's upper arms and slowly raising his green eyes, glossy with tears, to meet the blue eyes of his angel. He seemed to search them for a moment.
"Where's Sammy?" Of course he would ask for his brother, he always did, never worried about himself.
"He's fine, looking for you, I'll call him in a bit." Castiel put his hands gently on Dean's face and that seemed to break a wall of some sort. Dean started to shake and cry, he was actually sobbing, his whole body, whole being shaking uncontrollably as he averted his eyes as if in shame.
"I… I need a shower…" He managed to sob out, " So filthy…"he shuddered.
"You need to rest." Castiel tried to demand.
"So dirty, please…" He looked up and begged in the only way Cas ever thought he would. Castile helped Dean get up and noticed that his belt was undone but said nothing of it as he helped the taller male to the bathroom. Dean sat on the toilet and started to undress, not even noticing that Castiel was still in the room. After a moment Castiel got over his flustered modesty and started turning the dials, when he reached for the cold a strong hand grasped his wrist, " It has to be hot or I won't get clean."
Castiel gasped at the heat from Dean's fevered hand. He was delusional, he had to be. Castiel didn't know how to care for him other than do as he was told. He nodded then helped the now naked other man into the shower, trying not to gasp at the bruising of the other man's hips, the bloody welts from nails digging into the human's flesh, the pallor to his skin telling a story about Castiel's human that he did not want to read.
He got Dean into the much too hot shower and he heard Dean gasp but then Dean started to scrub himself off. After scrubbing himself raw Castiel finally stepped up to the shower, soaking his trench coat sleeve as he leaned in and pulled the other male out. Somehow he dressed Dean and finally they stood, their clothes partially wet but neither caring.
"Let me heal you…" Castiel asked. Dean leaned forward and pressed his head to Cas' shoulder then started to sob again then dropped to his knees. Castiel caught him and lowered him letting Dean hug him tightly as both their bodies shook with his long harsh sobs. Castiel held him close, letting Dean sob and shriek loudly, using his angelic powers to soundproof the room so they wouldn't be disturbed.
Castiel combed a hand through Dean's short wet hair and rubbed his back, wincing as Dean gripped him so tight, Dean's nails digging into Castiel's skin but he didn't say a word.
"It's okay, I'm here…" If Cas had been freaking out before he was freaking out worse now, as Dean finally fell silent, barely moving other than the slight tremors as he breathed, " Dean?"
Dean pushed away, way too gently for Dean, then stood, Cas having to catch him a few times but eventually he made it to the bed and he flopped face down on the bed and just lay there. Cas couldn't tell if he was asleep or just laying there but he took out his phone and called the younger Winchester.
"Hello, This is Sam." He answered.
"He's here... and I do not know what to do. He is not acting like himself." Castiel glanced at the other male in the room that hadn't even stirred.
"He's there? Is he injured?" Sam asked.
"Just come I do not... know what to do." Cas didn't wait for a reply, the way that Dean was acting was making Castiel extremely anxious and he didn't want to snap at Sam.
"Cas?" Dean muttered and sat up and Cas was at his side, sitting on the bed next to him.
"Hello, Dean." Dean looked releaved Cas was still there and he hugged Cas without warning then seemed to pass out again. Castiel started to run his fingers through Dean's hair, really unsure what to do as tremors shook the young man in his arms.
Sam opened the door and blinked in surprise as Cas looked up from the bed. Dean was sprawled out on top of him sound asleep. Cas mouthed something and Sam tilted his head, still shocked by the scene in front of him. Cas tried to move out from under Dean and Dean whimpered slightly and then sat up frantically.
"Don't go." he muttered groggily and Cas grabbed Dean's shoulders, his hand resting on where Sam knew there was a scar it would fit on perfectly.
"I'm not going anywhere except to talk to Sam. Right there." Cas nodded and Dean mimicked the motion, laying back down to sleep some more. Cas walked over to Sam and led him to sit down at the table.
"What's going on?" Sam whispered.
"The demon. Once Dean led it away from you it attacked him. He is in a pretty fragile state." Cas still wasn't completely sure himself what had happened exactly.
"What did it do?" Sam's voice was starting to pitch with worry.
"I wasn't able to get all of it from him but what I have gotten, it... taunted him... as it defiled him... to get back at me for some wrongdoing... I am not aware of..." Castiel's eyes darted to the floor. He was pretty sure he knew what demon it had been, and who he was to blame for the older Winchester's plight, for the soiled righteous man in the bed nearby, for the brokenness laying in a heap on the bed.
"I...it w...what...?" Sam asked quietly before standing and walking over to the edge of the bed where Dean lay and kneeling. Cas sat on the other side of the bed then lay down and Dean pulled him close, letting the angel try to comfort him as he dosed. Sam took a hold of Dean's hand and his fear peaked as Dean didn't pull it away and make a witty remark.
"Sammy?" Dean's voice sounded so strained and so weak as Dean held onto Sam's hand as if for dear life.
"I'm here.." Sam choked out, tears burning his eyes as he watched his fevered older brother falling apart in front of him.
"He's going to leave, he's not going to want me... after this..." Dean muttered, his eyes still closed.
Suddenly as if angry about something Castiel sat up, forcing Dean to sit up with him and Dean doubled over and started to dry heave off the side of the bed. Once that calmed down, Cas took Dean's face in his hands forcefully, though he tried not to touch the light purple bruising on his jaw where it had been held much too tight hours before.
"You listen to me, Dean Winchester, you were put in my charge and I have never abandoned a charge in my entire lifetime and I have lived for a very long time. I don't care what happens to you or who does it... I love you and I am never leaving you, whenever you think that, remember this!" He ran his hand up under Dean's sleeve and Dean hissed in fear before realizing Cas was just laying his hand on where he had gripped Dean before, " I am not going anywhere." Sam's heart broke as he watched his older brother completely break down. He had only seen him cry once or twice maybe a few times more in his life but never like this. Hell hadn't even done this to him. Sam rubbed Dean's hand between his own, biting and chewing his lip forcefully trying not to intrude but not wanting to leave his brother's side.
Dean fell forward onto Castiel's chest and wept for a long time and they sat that same way for hours it seemed. Castiel petting his hair and scratching his back while Sam held his hand and tried to think straight. What could they do, there was nothing to do except what they were doing.
Sam finally stood and stretched his legs before leaning down to Dean and trying to get him to look up, slightly shaking his shoulder and Dean looked at his hand then flinched and looked up at him.
"Dean, can Castiel heal you please?" Sam asked quietly. Dean leaned back to look at Cas then looked back at Sam, a little more of his old self in that look before he cast his eyes to the floor, a look Sam was very much used to. Dean was ashamed.
Sam shook his head then Dean looked up and nodded at Cas," C-can you...?" He asked, his voice gruff but almost normal again.
"I can't take the memory away of what happened... but I can take away your pain. " Cas muttered and Dean nodded swallowing hard and flinching As Cas lifted his hand and closing his eyes. His muscles tensed and he cringed as if Cas just said I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Cas barely touched Dean's forehead and Dean gasped, the bruising gone from his face and he looked down, slowly lifting his shirt to look at his hips. No fingerprints or hand prints left. Suddenly Dean paled and almost turned green before running to the bathroom and dry heaving into the toilet.
Weeks turned into months and Castiel never left Dean's side, Dean never let him. Dean couldn't sleep anymore unless he had a hand on Cas or Cas had a hand on him. Dean always had to know Cas was there and when they went on hunts Sam would catch Dean glancing around for the tall trench coated angel fearfully only to sigh when he saw him and continue his work.
After a while it got to the point that they could spend hours at a time without Cas and Dean would be alright but he always would start to freak out if it was more than a day since he had seen him.
Many times they caught Dean trying to drown himself in alcohol and he dreamed of hell more often then he used to. Often Sam would wake up to Dean cradled in Castiel's arms, Castiel trying to get him to stop weeping or just to sleep for a few more hours. Dean would never talk about what had happened but it seemed to weigh him down a lot more than anything else he had gone through.
Dean went through a phase where he would throw things and yell at Cas, screaming things like, " Why shouldn't you leave? Why shouldn't you not want me!?" But Castiel would just wait until Dean would fall to his knees crying then would kneel with him and hug him tight as if to reassure him that he didn't want to go anywhere.
Dean seemed pretty normal as long as he knew he could just call his name and get Cas instantly, but he was never completely the same, as if this had broken that final piece of him and he had completely lost everything that made him Dean. Castiel was all he seemed to care about, but as long as that kept him going, who was going to complain?