FanFiction Royal Rumble III
Chapter 14: A Mortal Combination
In the last chapter: Longtime favorites such as angry malcontent Dan, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, "Regular Show" superstar Mordecai, and the Mexican Aristocrat known as Alberto Del Rio all came back begging for more while newcomer Jack Swagger made his territory clear by eliminating the TNA World Tag Team Champions, Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez. The Great and Powerful Trixie met her unfortunate fate by being put through a flaming thumbtack-covered table, due to the fact that her enemy, Twilight Sparkle re-entered the Rumble! Not to leave out the fact that Justin eliminated his Total Drama co-star Heather by accident! But will there will be a lot more accidents to occur in the roughest Rumble in history? We shall find out, biotch!
Rated T for violence and language.
I do not own any of the characters used in this fanfiction. They belong to their rightful owners, from places such as Cartoon Network, World Wrestling Entertainment, Nickelodeon, Disney, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, FOX, Adult Swim, and other companies and all the rest.
ForeverTheTorturedRebel is my partner in helping this third annual FFRR come to life, helping me with entrants and eliminations and rest of the crap.
Update: I have jumped my work to a Windows XP computer, which will make updates a bit faster, so expect probably another chapter tonight!
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The carnage kept on going and the action kept on ensuing as the fans were awaiting the 56th entrant.
Jim Ross: Number 56 is about to make his way right about now!
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #56: Cody (Total Drama)
JBL: *clueless* This is weird. Since when did Lloyd Christmas from "Dumb & Dumber" compete in the Rumble?
Michael Cole: Uh, that's not Lloyd Christmas, that's Cody from the Total Drama series. Remember? He placed 3rd on Total Drama World Tour?
JBL: Doesn't ring a bell to me, Cole. I swore he looked like Jim Carrey...
Joey Styles: *hitting his forehead* Start watching TV a little bit more, JBL. Then maybe you'll see who I'm talking about...
The 56th entrant, which was Cody from the Total Drama series, came out from the entrance stage looking pumped and energized.
But before he can run down the entrance ramp, he was suddenly tackled by somebody from the audience! She had a yellow top, tanned skin, and a familiar purple ponytail. By the scared look on Cody's face, he knew who this fangirl was just by looking at her!
Jim Ross: WHOA! Cody got tackled!
Mike Tenay: By a woman nonetheless! I seem to think that Cody's got himself fangirls!
Michael Cole: *complaining* It sucks that I don't get fangirls everytime I come out!
Cody: *trying to get Sierra off of him* Get off of me, Sierra! I don't have time for this!
It took a few security guards to finally get Sierra off of Cody. In response, the rest of security forced the purple-haired fangirl back to her seat. Cody dusted himself off and dashed to the ring.
But Cody decided to enter from the top rope. As soon as Mordecai turned around, Cody leaped from the top and gave the bluejay a double diving knee drop to his chest!
Mike Tenay: What tremendous height from Cody!
Jerry Lawler: Diving double knee from the top rope! What a way to enter the Rumble like that!
After he got off of Mordecai, he noticed Jack Swagger trying to pull off a Pearl Harbor job. In quick response, Cody evaded the assault and countered with a running hurricanrana to the "Real American"!
Joey Styles: Hurricanrana from Cody.
JBL: I'll be damned! That bucktoothed kid can move fast on his feet!
Still feeling the momentum from this capacity crowd, Cody eyed both Triple H and Shawn Michaels from the second ring.
As DX were looking to double team Justin, Cody whistled at both men, who turned their attention to him. Cody leaped from the ropes and hit both The Cerebral Assassin and The Heartbreak Kid with a springboard rolling senton!
Joey Styles: Oh my god! Springboard senton!
Mike Tenay: And he got DX, nice and easy!
JBL: Screw that, I'm putting my money on this kid! This is unbelievable!
The entire East Rutherford crowd all exploded chanting "Cody! Cody! Cody" over and over again, much to the youngster's delight.
But as Cody felt like he was on top of the world, Sheamus came up behind him and lifted the geek up in a fireman's carry position and then wrapped him around his neck. As soon as Sheamus was about to hit the Celtic Cross, he saw Mordecai get up. This gave Sheamus an interesting idea.
Still holding Cody on his shoulders, Sheamus delivered another Brogue Kick to the bluejay's face!
Michael Cole: Whoa! What a maneuver!
Jerry Lawler: I never seen nobody hold Cody like that while doing a Brogue Kick before!
Jim Ross: That would've been impossible to try something like that, but Sheamus made it look like a piece of cake!
After putting Mordecai down, Sheamus decided to put Cody down as well by finally hitting the youngster with a Celtic Cross!
JBL: Sheamus finally puts Cody down with the Celtic Cross!
Mike Tenay: That's definitely a hard dirt nap for Cody if I ever seen one!
Sheamus was beating his chest full of Irish fury when suddenly...
...Earthworm Jim came up from behind and nailed The Celtic Warrior with a Zig Zag!
Joey Styles: Zig Zag from Earthworm Jim. A nice maneuver ripped off from Dolph Ziggler's playbook!
JBL: I wonder how the Showoff's gonna react to somebody stealing his move like that...
After he put Sheamus down for the time being, Earthworm Jim put a chair right across the Celtic Warrior's face and leaped over the top rope. However, this proved to be a huge mistake for the space-traveling superhero.
As Earthworm Jim thought clearly of putting Sheamus down with a leg drop on the chair, Alberto Del Rio came running in and hit Jim with a enzugiri! The hit forced Earthworm Jim to stumble backwards and fall to the floor, landing on the garbage can with his back!
Joey Styles: *in horror* OH MY GOD!
Jim Ross: Good gawd, Earthworm Jim's back got cracked like a walnut!
Michael Cole: He didn't see Alberto Del Rio coming, and now, Earthworm Jim's out of the Royal Rumble match!
46th Elimination: Earthworm Jim; Eliminated by: Alberto Del Rio; Duration: 21:31
After the EMTs rushed over to check on earthworm Jim's condition, John Cena put Twilight Sparkle in a serious predicament.
Cena slammed Twilight with a spin-out powerbomb before Cena got up to his feet. Raising his hand to a mixed reaction from this MetLife Stadium crowd, John Cena looked down and shouted out "You Cant See Me" to the magic pony.
Joey Styles: Five Knuckle Shuffle coming up!
But before Cena could bounce back from rope to rope, his leg suddenly got caught by Twilight Sparkle, who decided to lock the Ankle Lock!
Jim Ross: I guess you spoke too soon, Joey! Twilight Sparkle's got Cena in an Ankle Lock!
JBL: Made famous by men like Kurt Angle, Ken Shamrock, and my personal favorite, Jack Swagger.
Michael Cole: What about me? I was the one to master the lock itself!
Jerry Lawler: *rolling his eyes* Yeah, I seemed to forgot all about Cole as well...
John Cena's ankle was just moments away from twisting to the other side. Just feeling it in Cena's POV was like having a pitbull knawing on your leg until the blood comes out. That's what it felt like to the leader of the Cenation!
Unfortunately for Twilight, she broke the hold after Jack Swagger struck her with a wooden crutch!
Joey Styles: My god! Twilight got hit with a wooden crutch!
Jim Ross: Swagger nearly broke that crotch in half!
Mike Tenay: The first sound you hear when you feel that crutch break upon your body is gonna feel like shattered glass!
Twilight hung the back of her neck in pain and wobbled around the ring. It was like if the sound ruptured Twilight's eardrums to the core.
As Jack Swagger looked for another contestant to whack his wooden crutch with, he noticed the last 10 seconds ticking down to the next entrant of the match. Swagger was ready for whoever number 57 would be.
Jerry Lawler: Oh, I'm ready for 57! Here it comes!
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #57: Big E. Langston
Jim Ross: Well, this oughta be interesting!
Michael Cole: Here's comes Dolph Ziggler's heavy, Big E. Langston!
JBL: I like the look on his face. He's feeling determined!
Dusting his hands with the powder he used in weightlifting, Big E. Langston ran down the entrance ramp with the rage of an angry bison.
After the 57th entrant got in the ring, he was greeted by Jack Swagger and his wooden crutch. But before Swagger can even think about hitting Big E, the powerlifter easily catched the crutch in hand. It was a horrible mistake for Swagger as he slowly backed away from him. The fans were hoping that Big E. Langston would crack Swagger like a pinata.
Mike Tenay: Whoa, is Big E. Langston thinking about hitting Swagger?
Joey Styles: He may be looking to! It's just a faceoff between him and Big E.
Michael Cole: Big E. is looking for revenge! After all, Swagger was responsible for putting Dolph Ziggler on the shelf with a concussion!
But for Big E., that wasn't the case. He noticed that John Cena was still trying to get up from that Ankle Lock made by Twilight Sparkle.
Not minding one bit about Jack Swagger, Big E. cracked Cena's back with the wooden crutch!
Jerry Lawler: OW! Big E. thought he was gonna crack Swagger first, but he decided to go with John Cena instead!
JBL: Cena's luck is turning for the worst, I can assume!
Big E.'s next encounter was against Al Bundy. Showing no fear of the threatening weightlifter, Al tugged his football pants and approached him with no fear whatsoever.
Al Bundy: You think you're tough, huh? You wouldn't have a bone in your body to hit me with that crutch of yours! I have balls of steel!
With a smirk to Big E. face, he swung that crutch through Al Bundy's nads, which forced the shoe salesman to squeal in pain!
Joey Styles: *cringing* Oh my god!
Mike Tenay: I'm afraid Al Bundy isn't gonna have kids in the future thanks to that crutch shot!
JBL: At least he won't have to worry anymore if his kids come out looking like his red-headed wife!
As Al was about moments away from crying in pain, Dan re-entered the ring after he was checked by EMT's for his hurt ankle.
He tried to surprise Big E with a crutch shot of his own, but Big E managed to counter at the right time. Both Dan and Big E were embroiled in dueling wooden crutches! For fun, the crowd chanted "Dueling Banjos"
JBL: Oh, I'm liking this face-off! It's like two knights facing off against one another!
Michael Cole: Far apart from dueling banjos! I'm even surprised somebody came up with a chant as well!
Jerry Lawler: Who's gonna be looking to fall here?
They fought for a good several seconds before Big E. smashed Dan's crutch to pieces. The strongman nailed the malcontent in the ribs before he decided to pick him up in a Oklahoma Slam position.
With a smirk forming on his face, Big E. put Dan down with a Big Ending!
Jim Ross: Big Ending! Big Ending!
Mike Tenay: And Dan became a victim of that finishing maneuver!
Around the second ring meanwhile, Deadpool planted a chair on the top rope while Cody was rendered on the turnbuckle. The merc ran up to the geek and whipped him to the other turnbuckle, but only for Cody to send Deadpool running instead.
With quick thinking, Deadpool leaped up to the top rope, Shelton Benjamin-style, and grabbed the chair. In an instant, Deadpool flew with the chair in hand and hit Del Rio on the way down!
Joey Styles: Oh my god, what a maneuver!
Jerry Lawler: Deadpool with a flying chair shot on the Mexican Aristocrat!
Michael Cole: That might be instant replay-worthy there!
Mike Tenay: With that move, Deadpool might be a great addition to our TNA roster! Imagine if he were paired up against Suicide? That would be a tremendous matchup!
Deadpool was smirking at the fact that he walloped Alberto Del Rio like a broken tequila bottle, much to Ricardo Rodriguez's dismay.
As Deadpool got up with his chair still in hand, he was caught by surprise when "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels came entirely out of nowhere with Sweet Chin Music! The hit forced Deadpool's momentum to be thrown back a few steps, and in a shocking surprise, he tumbled over the top rope and onto the floor!
Jim Ross: Deadpool is out! I repeat, Deadpool is out!
Joey Styles: Deadpool was caught with the sound of Sweet Chin Music!
JBL: Call it a night for this mercenary, cause he's been hit off the list!
47th Elimination: Deadpool; Eliminated by: Shawn Michaels; Duration: 39:21
Shocked that he was eliminated by the Heartbreak Kid, Deadpool tried to re-enter the ring, but he was being held back by officials. The merc wanted a taste of the Showstopper, but alas, the referees wouldn't allow him to do so.
Deadpool: *as he's being held back up the ramp* This ain't over, Heartbreak! I know where yo mama lives! Deadpool's gonna be back, baby! Just you wait!
JBL: What a sore sport.
Michael Cole: I feel ya.
30 seconds was displayed on the titantron which meant that the 58th entrant was coming soon.
Meanwhile, Justin put Triple H on the top rope and punched him right on the kisser. Hoping to pull off a superplex, Justin wrapped Triple's H arm around his neck and was ready to lift. But Triple H fought through by punching Justin in the abdomen.
Jim Ross: A superplex attempt failed by the hands of Justin.
Joey Styles: Triple H was able to avoid that for the time being. Where's he going now?
JBL: He's going up the top rope, yet I'm not sure why.
A plan came upon Triple H now. The King of Kings wrapped and locked Justin in a powerbomb position, but wrangled both of the Hawaiian's arms intact.
With the people standing up on the feet in breathless anticipation, Triple H launched Justin from the top rope and slammed him down with a top-rope Pedigree! The fans were crazily on their feet seeing the most unimaginable thing took place!
Joey Styles: *screaming* OH MY FRICKING GOD!
Michael Cole: You gotta be kidding me! A Pedigree from the top rope?!
Mike Tenay: What an unbelievable moment! And listen to these fans go crazy for the King of Kings!
A 'Triple H' chant was broken all around the four corners of Metlife Stadium. Their mind was blown out of their brains in the most unbelievable way yet!
Triple H was feeding off the power from this capacity crowd. His momentum continued where he saw Dan recently recovering from the Big Ending. He grabbed the malcontent and wrangled Dan's arms. With no escape, Triple H hit another Pedigree!
Jim Ross: Triple H hits another pedigree!
JBL: So far, Triple H's ruling the ring! Who's looking to stop him now?
Jerry Lawler: Basically, I think number 58 might! Here's the countdown now!
Contrary to King's words, Triple H looked up at the titantron and noticed that the next entrant was about to make his way down the ring in about 12... 11...
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #58: Liu Kang (Mortal Kombat)
Joey Styles: Well, I'm familiar with this character!
Michael Cole: A champion of the Mortal Kombat tournament, here comes number 58, Liu Kang!
Mike Tenay: Knowing the fact that Triple H is waiting in the ring for him, this is sure to be an intensive matchup.
With the theme to Mortal Kombat playing all around East Rutherford, Liu Kang stretched out and prayed for the Elder Gods to give him strength. After his little chi ritual, he ran down the ramp and got into the ring.
When he got inside the ring, Liu Kang glid into the air and nailed Triple H with a flying kick!
JBL: WHOA! He took Triple H down instantly with that move!
Jerry Lawler: No kidding! Liu Kang glided with the greatest of ease!
After Triple H fell down with a quick thud, Liu Kang whipped all around and looked for another contestant to get his hands on.
Luckily, a beam shot right out of nowhere, which forced the shaolin monk to evade with picture perfect precision. That laser beam happened to be none other than Twilight Sparkle. Liu Kang expected a challenge like this to happen.
Twilight Sparkle: Your fire is no match for my magic!
Liu Kang: We'll see about that!
One by one, Twilight Sparkle and Liu Kang were exchanging fire and magic beams at one another. They kept dodging every projectile thrown at them every which way they can. This was so intense and so unbelievable that the rest of the fans stood still on their seats on who would get the first blast.
Joey Styles: Wow! This is going back and forth, ladies and gentleman!
Jim Ross: It's going so fast, my glasses are having a hard time keeping up!
Joey Styles: I know exactly how you feel, J.R.!
Twilight screeched around a good corner of the ring before she stumbled. It cost her dearly as Liu Kang blasted his dragon-headed fireball straight into the face of Twilight.
JBL: Welp, Liu Kang got her hook, like and sinker!
Michael Cole: It was a stumble that cost her to be blasted by that fireball of Liu Kang's!
After he took care of Twilight Sparkle, Liu Kang turned around and noticed Big E. Langston gunning at him with a clothesline.
Luckily, Liu ducked and took a bounce back to the ropes. When Big E. turned around, Liu Kang nailed Big E. with a bicycle kick! Just imagine the chest turning brown red with every foot stomp Liu Kang was making out of Langston, himself!
Mike Tenay: Liu Kang hit the bicycle kick! He just used Big E. Langston like a vertical footrest from space!
Jerry Lawler: That's impossible how somebody would do that in real life, but Liu Kang made it look like a catwalk!
Jim Ross: He's impressing the hell out of the WWE Universe!
Meanwhile, as Liu Kang's momentum was still building up from this stadium crowd, Mordecai and Justin decided to double team against the Mexican Aristocrat, Alberto Del Rio. After sending him down with a double clothesline, Justin held Del Rio in the backbreaker position while Mordecai ascended to the middle rope.
Feared for his friend, Ricardo Rodriguez tried to get involved, but Mordecai responded with a foot to Ricardo's face, which knocked Rodriguez off the apron. After that, Mordecai extended his elbow and hit Alberto right in the chest!
Michael Cole: Impressive move by Mordecai and Justin!
Joey Styles: Definitely the same move made famous by one of WWE's greatest tag teams in the 80's, Demolition!
JBL: So what? That makes Justin Smash and Mordecai Ax? *chuckling* I can't hardly imagine that...
At ring #2, John Cena rolled under the ropes and started searching inside Dan's Shopping Cart of Hardcore. Cena managed to pull out what seemed to be just an ordinary steel chair.
He proceeded to go up the top rope where he saw Triple H just get up from that hard flying kick made by Liu Kang. Not hesistating, John Cena leaped from the top rope while wrapping the chair under his entire leg and crashlanding on Triple H painfully with great effect!
Joey Styles: My god! John Cena just went Sabu on The Game!
Jim Ross: In all my years, I've never seen Cena wrap his own leg around a chair and hit people with it! That's amazing!
Mike Tenay: I tell ya... that's almost imaginable!
After taking down the King of Kings, it was time for John Cena to take out the trash altogether. That flying leg drop/chair shot was enough to render Triple H unconscious. Cena picked him and tried to go for the Attitude Adjustment. Before he picked him up however...
...something unexpected happened. Cody came out of nowhere and hit a running dropkick to John Cena, which forced him to stumble forward towards the top rope and plummet onto the floor while Triple H held on to the apron! The people freaked out of their minds and cheered for Cena's shocking elimination.
Jim Ross: MY GAWD! MY GAWD!
Michael Cole: *shouting* Cody just eliminated John Cena!
JBL: Cena is shocked at what happened!
Joey Styles: I don't know what to say about this, except... OH MY FRICKING GOD!
48th Elimination: John Cena; Eliminated by: Cody; Duration: 37:32
Amazed that he was somehow eliminated by a skinny geek, Cena clapped for Cody on a job well done as he was walking back up the entrance ramp, much to the back-to-back chants of "Let's Go, Cena" and "Cena Sucks" he was getting from this East Rutherford crowd.
John Cena: *to the camera* At least I'm still WWE Champion!
Mike Tenay: Another excellent performance from the WWE Champion and the leader of Cenation!
JBL: I guess Cena should be unlucky that he got eliminated in shock once again, but I don't blame him. He's taking it in stride.
After Cena's moment was over, Jack Swagger snuck up behind Cody and attacked his knee in a running chop block!
Jim Ross: Cody got humbled there! What a horrendous chop block by Jack Swagger!
Jerry Lawler: Swagger took advantage of that distraction between Cody and John Cena!
After doing his "We... the people" salute, Jack Swagger grabbed Cody's ankle and locked it in with the Patriot Lock!
Oh man... just the thought of the ankle being twisted from piece to piece was making Cody scream and shriek with pain! The geek tried to find a rope to break the hold, but it was all hopeless.
Michael Cole: Swagger is gonna break Cody's ankle in half! He's got it locked in tight!
Joey Styles: Cody's trapped like a frickin' snake in a barrel! Jack's gonna snap that ankle if nobody helps out Cody!
Somebody did manage to help out Cody. Dan got back up from the Big Ending and found the wooden crutch that he used.
With bent up anger and frustration, Dan took the crutch and whacked Swagger hard in the in the back of his neck!
Jim Ross: Whoa! That's a home run!
Mike Tenay: Dan nearly broke that crutch over the back of Swagger's noggin!
JBL: Swagger's brain might be jumbled like a puzzle!
Jerry Lawler: Tough luck, but we got another entrant coming our way.
As Cody was holding his ankle in pain and Swagger holding the back of his head, Dan waited for the 59th entrant to come out at the count of 10.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #59: Austin Aries
Wearing his familiar cape, the self-proclaimed Greatest Man Who Ever Lived made his way down the entrance ramp and stared right at Dan, who was waiting in the ring for him with a wooden crutch still in hand.
Mike Tenay: Here comes another wrestler returning from the previous Fanfiction Royal Rumble!
Jim Ross: Here comes former TNA World Heavyweight Champion, former X-Division Champion, and former TNA World Tag Team Champion, Austin Aries!
Jerry Lawler: With those accomplishments, he's bound to do well in the Rumble!
Despite his heel ways, Austin actually got a mixed reaction from this crowd, but it was mostly cheers. He immediately got in the ring and was surprised when Dan tried to swing the crutch at him.
Using fast cat-like reflexes, Austin kicked Dan in the ribs, which forced Aries to grab the crutch in the air and nail the malcontent in the kisser!
JBL: Ouch! Dan got it in the teeth!
Michael Cole: Aries was smart enough to hit Dan with his own medicine!
After hitting Dan once again with the crutch, Austin saw him rendered. Which meant he took the time to show off before he spun around and nailed Dan with a Powerdrive Elbow!
Joey Styles: Powerdrive Elbow on the heart of Dan!
Jim Ross: Dan's receiving harsh punishment from Aries!
Jerry Lawler: Makes me glad I retired!
After Austin got up, he was approached by Twilight Sparkle who tried to clothesline Aries with her hoove. Knowing her lanky size, Aries laughed when that clothesline had no effect. It had a little effect, but it made Austin Aries madder.
In response, Aries kicked Twilight in the leg and nailed her with a shin breaker. But then it combined into a Saito Suplex!
Michael Cole: Nice combination by Aries!
JBL: The only thing you shouldn't do is make Austin Aries mad. And Twilight learned the hard way!
As Austin was still pumped up with adrenaline, Triple H was busy battling out with Sheamus. After landing a knee facebuster, which forced Sheamus to back away a few steps closer to the ropes, The King of Kings tried to clothesline the Celtic Warrior for an elimination...
...but Sheamus ducked and lifted up Triple H in the air which sent him over the top rope, but not out on the floor as Triple H hung on to the ropes smoothly. But Sheamus noticed that HHH would do just that to keep him safe from elimination. So he wrapped Triple H's arms around the ropes and started to hit him right in the chest repeatedly!
Joey Styles: Sheamus is gonna count it down!
Mike Tenay: I really hate to be Triple H in the position he's in!
1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!
Triple H's chest was now a dangerous shade of crimson red. Basically, Sheamus's fists was like the black lead of a hammer. It's painful and yet crushing.
As Sheamus brought Triple H back into the ring, he was surprised by Sweet Chin Music from Shawn Michaels! The hit sent Sheamus over the top rope and onto the floor instantly, which sent a shockwave of ovation from MetLife Stadium!
Michael Cole: *surprised* Sheamus is out! Sheamus is out!
Jim Ross: The Heartbreak Kid eliminates the Celtic Warrior out of the Rumble!
JBL: Look at Sheamus, he couldn't even believe it for a second!
49th Elimination: Sheamus; Eliminated by: Shawn Michaels; Duration: 39:10
Disappointed that Sheamus was eliminated in stunned fashion, he walked up to the ramp and back into the dressing room, but not without getting an amazing ovation for his effort.
Meanwhile, Justin had his hands full with Al Bundy by setting him on a tree of woe. Carefully, he went through the ropes and climbed up top. The shoe salesman tried to get out, but the Eye Candy got him right where he wanted him. He leaped from the top rope and double stomped Al right in the cerebral region!
Joey Styles: Oh my god, double dragon stomp with a tree of woe!
Jerry Lawler: Justin's feeling pretty hot tonight! I swear, if you feel close to him, you easily melt like butter!
Mike Tenay: I couldn't argue with- hey, hold a minute, somebody's coming out of the stage!
Much to Tenay's words, that 'somebody' walking from backstage happened to be Total Drama's personal C.I.T., Courtney as she happened to bring with her a wooden crutch. That same weapon that Dan and Big E. Langston used in their faceoff not too long ago.
Jim Ross: What's Courtney from "Total Drama" doing here?!
Joey Styles: She's not even in the Royal Rumble, is she?
JBL: Maybe she got a late entry and didn't know about it.
With a evil smile on her face, Courtney saw Justin trying to eliminate Big E. Langston from the Rumble. Langston was dangling from the top rope as Justin pulled harder, trying to get him out.
However, he was caught off by Courtney, who tried to nail Justin right in the chest with the crutch, but the Eye Candy was smart enough to catch it. This was now a tug-of-war between the Hawaiian and the bitchy C.I.T.
Jim Ross: We got a tug-of-war battle going on here!
Mike Tenay: I think Courtney may be looking to pull Justin out of the ring!
Michael Cole: I hardly believe Courtney would so some-hey wait a minute! Look who jumped over the barricade!
In Cole's words, Alejandro Burromuerto from the Total Drama series happened to leap over the barricade with yet another wooden crutch in hand.
He got on the apron and as Justin was doing his best to pull that crutch away from Courtney, Alejandro smashed the wooden crutch across Justin's back as the male model's momentum took him over the top rope and onto the floor in a controversial elimination!
Jerry Lawler: Hey, come on now!
Joey Styles: It's not fair! Justin just got eliminated from this match!
Mike Tenay: With no thanks to Alejandro and Courtney!
JBL: Controversial or not, it still counts as an elimination!
50th Elimination: Justin; Eliminated by: Alejandro Burromuerto (with some help from Courtney); Duration: 59:40
Justin's elimination got a negative reaction due to the fact that Alejandro wasn't a legal contestant in the Rumble.
The latin lover got all up in Justin's face for no apparent reason and started to hit him with the crutch, but before he can, Justin grabbed the crutch.
He tried to swing it, but being the scared little pieces of chickens**t that they were, Alejandro and Courtney ran up to the entrance ramp while they were now chased by an angry and enraged Justin. He kept on swinging the wooden crutch hoping that he would either take off the head of either Courtney or Alejandro.
Mike Tenay: Look at Justin trying to get his hands on the duo!
JBL: What a sore sport.
Michael Cole: Come on, John! It was all because of Alejandro and Courtney getting involved in the first place!
JBL: Bottom line, if Justin didn't get distracted, then maybe he would be fine. But he had to think about his heart other than his brain at the last second.
Jerry Lawler: I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm ready for number 60 to come out!
As the rest of the action continued, the countdown clock appeared on the titantron, awaiting the arrival of number 60.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #60: Kitana (Mortal Kombat)
Jerry Lawler: *excited* Oh yeah! I never thought I see puppies again!
Mike Tenay: Here comes "Mortal Kombat" fan favorite and Princess of Edenia, Kitana!
JBL: *digging his ear a little bit* Wait a minute, Mike... did you say Kitana's from Indiana?
Mike Tenay: *clearing up to JBL* She's from "Edenia", JBL! You act like you got water stuffed in your ears!
Dressed in her Mortal Kombat 9 outfit, Kitana made her way down the aisle as the 60th entrant of the match. With her steel fans in possession, Kitana was ready to rock.
When she got inside the ring, she levitated Mordecai up in the air with her steel fans. The crowd watched in amazement as Kitana also flew up the air and nailed Mordecai with a punch to the face!
Michael Cole: *almost falling out of his seat* How... how in the hell is she doing that?!
Jim Ross: I got no idea! It was like magic at first, but that may be the most unbelievable thing I have ever witnessed!
Joey Styles: And this entire crowd just got their mind blown!
Kitana's next target was against Austin Aries. But it didn't go well as planned, Austin shoved her to the left turnbuckle and started giving her a 10-punch salute.
1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!
After the 10 count, Austin's whole junk was shoved into the Princess of Edenia's face, much to the laughter of male fans and the gasps of female fans. Kitana was a bit disgusted and yet so turned off.
Mike Tenay: *disturbed* Well... that's quite the picture if I ever seen one...
Michael Cole: I hate to be Kitana herself right now! That's not an image that she wants to wake up to, believe me!
Turned off for much longer, Kitana went downstairs and got Austin Aries with a low blow. Liu Kang managed to get another trash can from the outside and placed it right where Austin needed to land.
With tremendous strength, Kitana powerbombed Austin Aries through a garbage can!
Joey Styles: *disturbed* OH MY GOD!
Jim Ross: Sounded like a huge bomb going off all over East Rutherford!
JBL: Austin Aries got squashed big time!
After taking care of The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived, Liu Kang and Kitana were approached by Total Drama geek Cody, who decided to wear both of them down with low kicks to one another. It was working for a little while, until he decided to bounce back to the ropes, hoping that the double clothesline he was gonna give to them sounded like a piece of chocolate cake.
Alas, Liu Kang and Kitana were smart to counter Cody's clothesline with a double hip toss, land a double elbow drop to the heart and kipped up back on their feet!
Michael Cole: What an amazing display by Liu Kang and Kitana!
Mike Tenay: From what I do understand, they have a deep connection for one another.
Jim Ross: Whether being teamed up or share momentous occasions with each other, they're staying very strong until the end!
Meanwhile, Alberto Del Rio tired to put down Swagger on the top rope for a hurricanrana.
But as Alberto leaped with his body bending over backwards, the 'Real American' hung on to him like superglue. And it forced Swagger to powerbomb Del Rio from the second rope in a very nasty way.
JBL: Wow! What an amazing encounter by Jack Swagger!
Joey Styles: Del Rio got crushed like Speedy Gonzales being roadkill on the highway!
JBL: And I imagine Swagger would be like Sylvester, huh? I can't even see that image happening...
As Swagger talked down Del Rio with his infamous "We... the people' quote, he turned right around and got a huge taste of Sweet Chin Music, courtesy of Shawn Michaels!
As an insult to injury, Triple H got Swagger in the gut and wrangled his arms all over with a huge Pedigree to the mat!
Jerry Lawler: I think Swagger went to a bad place at the wrong time!
Michael Cole: Swagger in dire ground of getting eliminated! And Zeb Colter cant even stand to watch the whole thing go down!
With Swagger still getting dizzy, Triple H and Shawn Michaels picked him right up and immediately tossed him over the top rope and onto the floor for an elimination!
Jim Ross: Welp, good bye, Swagger!
JBL: Definitely a dark day for Zeb Colter...
Jerry Lawler: No kidding! Swagger rung his last liberty bell in the Rumble!
51st Elimination: Jack Swagger; Eliminated by: Triple H and Shawn Michaels; Duration: 15:09
Irritated due to the fact that he got eliminated from the match, Swagger kicked the ring steps in anger while Zeb patted him on the back.
As Swagger walked away meanwhile, Al Bundy was lifted up off his feet by Twilight Sparkle and got spun around with an Airplane Spin. Just to show off to the fans, Twilight spun the shoe salesman all around the ring through a good second or two, or perhaps 20.
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* Look at this! Al Bundy's being a human dreidel!
Jim Ross: It seems like Twilight has gone ape-plum crazy!
JBL: I want to see what Al Bundy's gonna feel like when he gets dropped down on his own two feet!
Mike Tenay: Well, in my own mindset, I hate to think that it's not gonna be very good...
As Twilight finally set him down, Al's head was spinning out of control as his bile was starting to work up through his throat.
The shoe salesman started to heave and heave once again, until it finally happened.
Joey Styles: Oh no, this is not gonna end well!
Michael Cole: I have to agree with you there!
Bursting like the Hoover Dam, Al Bundy vomited all across the first ring uncontrollably. Twilight's Airplane Spin maneuver took an awful lot out of the shoe salesman. The rest of the commentators felt disgusted of this gruesome and grotesque image.
Joey Styles: Good god, he's got it all over his chin!
JBL: *laughing* I like it! It's like if a toddler got drunk!
Jim Ross: I don't know what's so funny, but I happen to think that Al might need medical attention from that maneuver!
Al Bundy rolled under the ropes and got in the chair that Dan was sitting on earlier.
As Al was being checked by EMTs, Dan and Cody decided to team up and take down Big E. Langston with a double suplex. It turned out to be hopeless knowing that Big E. Langston has a powerlifting background, so his strength was a factor.
Dan: *to Cody* Pull, Cody! Pull up!
Cody: I'm trying to! This freak with manbreasts weighs like 7 Sierra's!
Michael Cole: Oh man, please tell me they're not gonna do this to Big E.
JBL: They can't do it. Cody's the size of a small water bottle.
Both Cody and Dan were trying to pull harder to get Big E. up, but it was hopeless. The immense size and bulk of Big E was just too much for the two men to handle.
So Big E decided to lift both men up and hit them both with a double Suplex!
Jim Ross: Dan and Cody tried to lift up Big E, but Big E did the honors instead.
Joey Styles: You kidding? I think Big E's feet could be made out of cement!
Mike Tenay: Big E is looking very unstoppable at this time!
Proceeding on his feet, Big E. Langston got back up and grabbed Cody in an Oklahoma Slam position.
Without a moment too soon, Big E. dropped Cody down on the mat with the Big Ending!
Joey Styles: Cody gets nailed with a Big Ending!
JBL: He's getting smashed like an ant! And Big E's the foot!
Jerry Lawler: Big E. putting on an impressive display here in the Rumble. Who's gonna be the next person to stop Big E?
Michael Cole: I don't know, but maybe number 61 might! I got a feeling this next number's gonna be 'electrifying'!
Knowing that it was only 10 seconds before the next entry, Big E looked to the titantron to see the last 10 numbers tick down to number 60. Whoever was about to step into that curtain, Big E. was ready.
To be continued, once again...
(READ)(&)(REVIEW)
Wow. This was drama and wooden crutches at its best. Enough chit-chat. Let's get to stats:
Entries having gone through by the end of this chapter: 60
Entries left: 20
Number of eliminations: 51
People in the ring: 12
Eliminated: Fandango (first time), The Great Khali, Muscle Man, Big Show, Zack Ryder, Phineas Flynn, Robbie E, Catwoman, CM Punk, Steve Urkel, Batman, D.O.C., Ferb Fletcher, Mike Knox, Mr. Anderson, Clawdeen Wolf, Sting, Dipper Pines, Bully Ray, Devon, "Road Dogg" Jesse James, Mabel Pines, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Mark Henry, Zoey, "Cowboy" James Storm, Monty Monogram, Twilight Sparkle (first time), Spike, R-Truth, "Razor" Jake Clawson, Tommy Dreamer, Al Bundy (first time), Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Perry The Platypus, Fandango, John Morrison, Rob Van Dam, Riley Freeman, Hernandez, Chavo Guerrero, Applejack, The Great and Powerful Trixie, A.J. Styles, Heather, Earthworm Jim, Deadpool, John Cena, Sheamus, Justin and Jack Swagger
In the ring: Al Bundy, Alberto Del Rio, Austin Aries, Big E. Langston, Cody, Dan, Kitana, Liu Kang, Mordecai, Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Twilight Sparkle
Hmmmmm, 'electrifying'? What does Michael Cole mean by that concerning our next entrant? Whoever it is, you'll have to find out next chapter. Seacrest out. Oh, who am I kidding? Ryan Seacrest sucks...