FanFiction Royal Rumble III
Chapter 16: Gods and Lawyers
In the last chapter: Returning fan favorites such as The Rock, Mario, Dolph Ziggler came back for more while newcomers Matt Hardy and Adventure Time's beautifully dangerous Marceline The Vampire Queen made the Rumble more interesting. And while such fan favorites such as Al Bundy and Alberto Del Rio were smacked out of the Rumble, the most unbelievable moment happened when an already eliminated Dan managed to send a memorable Rumble send-off to Austin Aries by diving off from the scaffold and land on Aries smackdab with a table, ECW-style! Not to mention Mario stomped and ground pounded on several contestants while Marceline started whacking everyone with her bass guitar. Will more exciting and heart-stopping moments happen once again on the biggest and baddest Rumble of all time?
Rated T for violence and language.
I do not own any of the characters used in this fanfiction. They belong to their rightful owners, from places such as Cartoon Network, World Wrestling Entertainment, Nickelodeon, Disney, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, FOX, Adult Swim, and other companies and all the rest.
ForeverTheTorturedRebel is my partner in helping this third annual FFRR come to life, helping me with entrants and eliminations and rest of the crap.
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Liu Kang and Kitana wandered all around the ring focusing on the entrance stage as the last 10 seconds ticked down.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #66: Geoff (Total Drama)
Joey Styles: Well, this is no surprise! It's a returning competitor from the 1st annual Fanfiction Royal Rumble!
Michael Cole: It's Total Drama fan favorite and host of the Total Drama Aftermath, Geoff!
Mike Tenay: Hard to believe that with Bridgette about to enter anytime soon, she and Geoff will be unstoppable!
With his signature cowboy hat and his pink shirt (which revealed his so-called 'stomach of steel), Geoff managed to enter through the audience stands and over the barricade, similar to what the Shield and Aces & Eights do.
When Geoff got in the ring however, he had a rough start as Liu Kang and Kitana began to beat down on him with double axe handle shots.
Jim Ross: He made a good entrance, but unfortunately, he's not getting the welcome he deserved from Liu Kang and Kitana.
Joey Styles: No he's not, Liu Kang and Kitana saw him coming. What a smart move by the duo.
After roughing him up, the pairing of Liu Kang and Kitana whipped Geoff back to back and tried to stop him with a double clothesline of their own...
...but the Party Boy managed to duck down and hit a double clothesline of his own!
JBL: Impressive clothesline by Geoff!
Jim Ross: He's showing some offense here!
Michael Cole: Geoff hit them like a speeding bullet!
After he nailed the duo with the clothesline, Geoff caught Mordecai with an atomic drop and managed to hit the blue jay with a huge dropkick!
Jerry Lawler: Impressive combination coming from one-half of Total Drama's power couple!
Mike Tenay: Geoff is feeding the fire from this packed East Rutherford crowd.
As Geoff was still getting pumped, Mario was busy working with Marceline The Vampire Queen. The momentum was mostly on the Italian plumber.
After a body slam, Mario decided to jump in the air and land on Marceline with his signature ground pound maneuver, but the vampire queen was smart enough to roll out of the way, which forced Mario's spine to break on impact!
JBL: He failed to connect with the ground pound!
Jim Ross: Mario landed right on his rear end, it seems!
Mario was trying to rub his own butt in pain. This proved to be a huge mistake for the Italian Plumber.
While he was trying to recuperate, Marceline tackled Mario again and pinned him on top. But she wasn't looking for a pin to be exact, she was looking for a dangerous appetite.
Mario: *as he's struggling* Please don't suck-a my blood!
Marceline: You're too little too late, Italian man!
To Mario's surprise, Marceline wasn't looking to suck his blood.
Her teeth was sucking on the remains of Mario's hat! Much to the commentators and fans' stunned amazement, the color of Mario's hat was transformed into a bland grey. It was like somebody washed down the color red with a fire hose!
Joey Styles: *confused* Okay, what just happened there?
Michael Cole: I was hoping that Marceline would suck Mario's blood there for a minute, but he ended up sucking the color from his hat!
JBL: Well, it's no surprise that Marceline will suck anything that's red! And before you judge me, Cole... I do watch Adventure Time. I happen to think it's a very smart show.
Like a prissy primadonna, Mario was freaking out about his signature red hat being sucked.
After he ran around the ring in panic, Marceline grabbed the blue overalls of Mario and threw him out instantly over the top rope and onto the floor.
Joey Styles: Mamma mia, Mario is out of the Rumble!
Michael Cole: *muttering* What a primadonna Mario turned out to be...
56th Elimination: Mario; Eliminated by: Marceline The Vampire Queen; Duration: 8:45
Marceline took her sweet time to wave her tongue to Mario, showing off to his face far away. But it was nothing more than a huge mistake.
The Vampire Queen turned right around and was caught by surprise by Triple H, who clotheslined her over the top rope and plummeted right to the floor, resulting in an elimination!
Jim Ross: Marceline The Vampire Queen is gone as well!
Jerry Lawler: She may suck the red out of opponents, but she's sucking out defeat this time! She's eliminated!
57th Elimination: Marceline The Vampire Queen; Eliminated by: Triple H; Duration: 4:56
Disappointed and dejected, Marceline took her bass guitar and left up the entrance ramp.
A minute had passed in the rumble as Cody and Geoff decided to team up and confront Bully Ray, who was busy trying to eliminate both HBK and Rock from the Rumble.
Mike Tenay: Look at this, I think Bully Ray may kill two birds with one stone here!
Jerry Lawler: I'd doubt it happen anyway, because Cody and Geoff are about to get in Bully Ray's business here!
Bully Ray nearly had the double elimination process done when Cody and Geoff grabbed the back end of Bully Ray's shorts. But they weren't going for the elastic for Bully Ray's jean shorts...
...they were reaching for the elastic, which forced Bully Ray to have one hell of a painful wedgie! Therefore, Bully screamed in pain as the rest of the MetLife Stadium crowd chanted 'Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!' at this vengeful display!
JBL: *acting clueless* Are... are Cody and Geoff giving Bully Ray a monster wedgie?
Joey Styles: I think they are! This is pretty wrong that we don't show wedgies enough in wrestling today.
Jim Ross: Indeed, and looks like Bully Ray's getting his just desserts, just like what he and the Aces & Eights did to Steve Urkel earlier in the match!
Still trying to get his elastic underwear together, Geoff picked Bully Ray up in a Samoan Drop position while Cody took a run on the ropes.
Cody leaped up in the air and caught Bully Ray's neck with a corkscrew neckbreaker while Geoff slammed him down with a samoan drop at the same time!
Mike Tenay: What an impressive double team maneuver by Cody and Geoff!
Jerry Lawler: I'm certain I've seen that move somewhere in my life!
JBL: Reminds me of two young thugs from Brooklyn. It was all about the 'money money, yeah yeah'.
While Bully Ray was tending to his wounds, 30 seconds appeared at the titantron, which meant that the 67th entrant of the Rumble could enter very shortly.
During the wait meanwhile, Dolph Ziggler caught Matt Hardy at the right time and nailed him with a jumping DDT, while leaping from the back of Twilight Sparkle!
Mike Tenay: Wow, what an impressive DDT from the Showoff!
Michael Cole: You may not have to like Dolph Ziggler, but you sure have to respect his abilities in the ring.
JBL: But since we're in East Rutherford, I think they're taking a liking to the Showoff!
Facing down a disoriented Matt Hardy, Dolph Ziggler decided to pull off his famous 10-count elbow drop barrage.
Ziggler was like a machine gun, shooting down quick elbow drop after quick elbow drop. Hardy's chest was red like wildfire. After whipping his blonde locks, Dolph hit the final elbow drop on Matt.
Jim Ross: Excellent barrage from Ziggler!
Michael Cole: I'm thinking Matt Hardy may need a life-time supply of Pepto Bismol for that kind of treatment!
Joey Styles: He may not get it for long, because number 67's about to make his presence in the Rumble!
Ziggler never noticed the Rumble clock tick down to it's last 10 seconds, but he knew that the rest of the crowd was counting down along with the clock.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #67: Jeff Hardy
The entire crowd erupted in ovation as they saw the former TNA World Heavyweight Champion pump the crowd up with his signature war paint. His brother Matt smiled far away, despite being laid down on the mat.
Jim Ross: My gawd, business has truly picked up!
JBL: I think Matt Hardy got himself a lifesaver here!
Mike Tenay: Here comes the former WWE Champion, former WWE Tag Team champion, and the former TNA World Heavyweight Champion, the "Charismatic Enigma", Jeff Hardy!
With the entire stadium chanting "Hardy! Hardy! Hardy!", Jeff managed to get in the ring and find his brother, who was busy getting his bones picked off by the Showoff, Dolph Ziggler. But he had trouble coming his way in the form of Mordecai and Twilight Sparkle.
Not having to waste time, Jeff Hardy extended his foot to the point where Mordecai caught his boot, and the face-painted Hardy blasted Mordecai right on the beak. In the process, Hardy also nailed Twilight with a running Hardy forearm!
JBL: Wow! Jeff Hardy came here to party!
Michael Cole: The younger Hardy going to work on Mordecai and Twilight earlier in the match!
Quickly yet desperately, Jeff Hardy rushed to the other ring to pounce on Dolph Ziggler, therefore saving his older brother.
He fired down forearm shots after forearm shots to keep Ziggler grounded long enough for he and his brother to pull off his double team offense.
Mike Tenay: Hardy firing right away at the World Heavyweight Champion!
Joey Styles: I'll say, Hardy's like a frickin' AK-47 on the rampage!
After whipping Dolph Ziggler to the turnpost chest first, Jeff and Matt decided to trip Ziggler off his feet and lifted up the Showoff's legs to the point that they were muscling him up to the sky.
With a deep breath, the Hardys managed to nail Ziggler with a wheelbarrow suplex!
Jim Ross: Whoa! Ziggler got taken for a ride there!
JBL: Indeed, the Hardy offense is going into effect! It won't be long before the Hardys take control of this entire Rumble!
Michael Cole: By the look of things, I think they have!
The Hardy's took control of this entire ring as over at the entrance stage faraway, another battle for another re-entry flag took place.
This time, it was Earthworm Jim and Zoey from Total Drama fame battling it out.
Joey Styles: We have another battle taking place at the cage wall!
JBL: This is exciting! I can't wait who re-enters in the Rumble!
However, Earthworm Jim and Zoey weren't alone. Dipper Pines from "Gravity Falls" also made his presence known as well, running behind the two people.
Zoey smashed Jim's worm-like face on the cage wall, which caused the space-age hero to fall upside down. With a smirk on her face, Zoey managed to ascend the wall where she saw the fifth re-entry flag.
Jim Ross: Wait a minute, we could see Zoey re-enter the match!
Joey Styles: Yeah, but Dipper's catching up to her!
Jerry Lawler: It's like the mascot from Wendy's vs. Ernest!
JBL: I'm starting to feel a little hungry here...
But before Zoey can reach for the flag, Dipper had an idea up his sleeve. He spoke out to her right before she could grab on to the flag.
Dipper: *pointing out to the audience* Oh man, is that Mike out there in the audience?
Zoey: *looking out to the audience* Wha-? Where?
In a wise move, Dipper grabbed the leg of Zoey and hung herself upside down like a bat!
With a smile to his face, Dipper ascended up the cage wall and managed to grab the flag, which forced him re-entry back into the match!
Mike Tenay: Dipper got the flag! Dipper's back into the match!
Michael Cole: That last second distraction Dipper did to Zoey worked out well for him!
JBL: Despite what these fans may think of what Dipper did, I think it's a wise move for him nonetheless.
Back inside the ring, Triple H caught Geoff red-handed with a hard spinebuster on the chair!
After the spinebuster, Triple H got back up on his feet as the audience fed him the adrenaline he needed to pull off another Pedigree.
Joey Styles: Geoff got hit with the spinebuster!
Jerry Lawler: I think we may see another Pedigree coming from the King of Kings himself!
Jim Ross: Can Triple H trap Geoff hook, line and sinker?
Triple H picked Geoff up and got him in a double underhook position. But before he can leap up to the air, Geoff managed to scoot Triple H closer to the ropes for some reason.
That reason was Dipper Pines having to go on top of the apron and grab Triple H's entire upper body, which forced the King of Kings to tumble over the top rope and descend to the floor, much to the fans shock and awe!
Jim Ross: *shouting* Wha- WHA! MY GAWD! DIPPER PINES ELIMINATED TRIPLE H!
Jerry Lawler: *looking surprised* I can't believe it! The Game is out of the Rumble!
Mike Tenay: Dipper Pines came out of nowhere and caught Triple H at the right time!
Joey Styles: Forget John Cena's elimination, this one may top them all!
58th Elimination: Triple H; Eliminated by: Dipper Pines; Duration: 41:28
Triple H would have likely walloped Dipper Pines for causing his elimination, but he didn't have to.
Like a man, he walked away gracefully with the crowd giving him a tremendous applause for his duration in the Rumble.
Jim Ross: What an impressive iron man in the heart of mind of Triple H!
Joey Styles: He managed to last an impressive 40 minutes inside the ring. That's toughness in my book!
After Triple H's sudden departure, his partner Shawn Michaels and The Rock were busy going to work on Liu Kang and Kitana.
It was mostly like they were grabbing the pairing legs, locking it in, and turning them over for a double sharpshooter combination that drove the fans insane!
But what really drove them off the edge was the fact that during the sharpshooter, Matt and Jeff Hardy decided to ante it up by performing a camel clutch on both Liu Kang and Kitana, which caused a quad camel clutch/sharpshooter combination! Jeff Hardy and HBK had Liu Kang while The Rock and Matt Hardy kept Kitana company. The way that both the duo's bodies were stretching in pain, almost sounded like a guitar being tuned up and breaking it's string tightly.
Joey Styles: Oh my god! You ever seen anything quite like this?
Michael Cole: It's safe to say that I haven't, but that's the most incredible thing I've ever witnessed in a Fanfiction Royal Rumble!
Mike Tenay: Liu Kang and Kitana are getting the worst end of the stick this time. A move like that can be enough to break a person's back!
The incredible move had lasted a heavy amount of 20 seconds, considering that another entrant in the Rumble was making his/her away anytime soon. That, of course, was about to happen now.
Jim Ross: We're about to have our 68th entrant of the match here, so let's see who it is!
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #68: Bridgette (Total Drama)
With the sound of surfer rock blasting through the audio, the 68th entrant, which was Bridgette from the Total Drama series, ran like wildfire and raced down the ramp. Her appearance was special though, concerning that she was wearing her surfer gear instead of her usual baby blue hoodie.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, this Rumble just got hotter as it is, Cole!
Michael Cole: Here comes another returning contestant from the 1st annual Fanfiction Royal Rumble and Total Drama's resident surfer girl, Bridgette!
JBL: From her intentions, I think I know who's she gonna team up with!
During her run down the ramp, Bridgette saw Twilight Sparkle trapping Geoff in a 10-hoof salute on the right turnbuckle. Angry that a purple pony was pouncing on her boyfriend, Bridgette shouted at Twilight before she got inside the ring.
Bridgette: *to Twilight Sparkle* Hey! Leave my Geoffy alone!
With the rage of an angry shark, Bridgette managed to hop on the second rope and nail Twilight Sparkle with a roundhouse kick to the face which sent the pony down on the mat. Almost in a lame move, the surfer girl was nearly close to kicking Geoff in the back of his head as well!
Jim Ross: Bridgette managed to save her boyfriend for the time being!
Joey Styles: What an impressive kick that was!
Still reeling from that kick, Twilight Sparkle managed to get up and look to the sky...
...only for Bridgette to leap from the apron and hit Twilight with a springboard clothesline!
Mike Tenay: Tremendous springboard clothesline by the surfer girl!
Jerry Lawler: Twilight Sparkle is having a hard time fighting back ever since she re-entered!
Jim Ross: Twilight's a tough fighter. She knows how to tolerate pain very well.
After taking care of Twilight, she managed to give Bully Ray of couple of Japanese Arm Drags, just to slow the leader of Aces & Eights down.
It was working for a good several seconds before Mordecai decided to catch Bridgette by surprise with a Rough Ryder!
Mike Tenay: Mordecai out of nowhere with a Rough Ryder!
Michael Cole: Bridgette didn't see Mordecai coming!
JBL: Maybe Mordecai and Bully Ray got a secret alliance going on.
Joey Styles: *cringing* I hardly cringe at that thought, John...
Mordecai got up and turned to Geoff, while giving out an "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!" to the party boy.
Unfortunately, Geoff wasn't pleased at what the bluejay did to his girlfriend. Geoff was pissed off and outraged. In retaliation, Mordecai got kicked in the fruit basket and was thrown out over the top rope and onto the floor by Geoff. Mordecai's time in the Rumble was over.
Joey Styles: Well, there goes Mordecai!
Jim Ross: I guess Geoff didn't like Mordecai ganging up on his girlfriend like that!
JBL: And that little mistake cost him big time!
59th Elimination: Mordecai; Eliminated by: Geoff; Duration: 28:40
After Mordecai left ringside looking angry and dejected, Geoff decided to tend to Bridgette from that Rough Ryder she took.
Somewhere along the second ring, Cody Anderson body slammed Dolph Ziggler and managed to go to the top rope. Eyeing down at a fallen Ziggler, Cody took a huge deep breath and took his time.
The bucktoothed underdog leaped and bent his body back, hitting the Showoff with the Shooting Star Press!
Joey Styles: Shooting Star Press! Cody nails it perfectly!
Mike Tenay: Everywhere from Billy Kidman to Evan Bourne have mastered that move perfectly and Cody was no exception here in the Rumble!
When Cody got up on his feet, he turned around...
...and was surprised when The Rock hit him with a Rock Bottom!
Jim Ross: Rock Bottom! Rock got him!
JBL: Cody got smashed like a bug going through a windshield!
After the Rock Bottom, The Rock and Dipper Pines decided to team up and throw Cody over the top rope and onto the floor, therefore getting eliminated and ending Cody's run in the Rumble!
JBL: There goes Lloyd Christmas, he's outta there.
Jerry Lawler: *sternly* His name's Cody, JBL.
JBL: I already know that, King. His bucktooth always distracts me.
Joey Styles: Nevertheless, Cody's history!
60th Elimination: Cody Anderson; Eliminated by: The Rock and Dipper Pines; Duration: 25:18
Cody's elimination managed to get a few boos from the audience.
As the 3rd place finalist of Total Drama World Tour started heading up the entrance ramp, Jeff and Matt Hardy were busy trying to work over Liu Kang and Kitana. Jeff started kicking Kitana in the abdomen while Matt landed forearm shots on the face of Liu Kang.
Mike Tenay: Looks like we got another gang fight!
Jim Ross: We have the Hardys against two of the greatest warriors in Earthrealm!
Both the Hardys whipped Liu Kang and Kitana onto each other, but they didn't remember what happened last time.
Like their counter with DX, Liu Kang and Kitana managed to evade each other and duck, which forced Matt to eat a spear from Kitana while Jeff was the victim of a hard clothesline by Liu Kang!
JBL: Hardys tried to take down Liu Kang and Kitana the easy way, but I guess they were too smart to fall for it!
Jerry Lawler: Did you see that clothesline that Jeff ate?
JBL: Reminds me of my time in the ring.
After Jeff was busy treating his wounds from that Clothesline From Hell, 30 seconds had appeared in the Rumble clock, indicating that the 69th (wink wink) entrant was going to make his way.
Somewhere around the second ring, Twilight Sparkle was finally showing some fight in her, hitting Geoff and Bridgette one-by-one with a flurry of boxer-like maneuvers. Geoff was getting punches to the face while Bridgette suffered hits to the ribs.
Jim Ross: Well, I'm familiar with this move from the last Fanfiction Royal Rumble!
Michael Cole: That's the same combo that Rainbow Dash did to Justin and Heather, but this time, Twilight Sparkle's doing the same to Geoff and Bridgette!
Joey Styles: Why is it that ponies are imitating boxers these days?
After doing a little Ali shuffle, Twilight Sparkle decided to decapitate the power couple by running to the ropes and attempting to hit them with a double clothesline...
...but to Twilight's surprise, Geoff and Bridgette caught the magic alicorn with a Dudley Death Drop. Geoff picked her up while Bridgette caught her with a cringing neckbreaker!
Joey Styles: My god! 3D! 3D!
JBL: I think Bully Ray and Devon are about to be fed up by everyone stealing their moves.
Mike Tenay: If you're concerned about them so much, JBL... why don't you join the Aces & Eights instead?
JBL: I would, Tenay... but I wouldn't want my good suit ruined by those bunch of thugs.
Meanwhile, as 15 seconds proceeded through the next contestant, Bully Ray took his time and sat down by the turnbuckle, healing his wounds.
After healing through his wounds, Bully Ray decided to wrap his steel chain once again.
Michael Cole: Look at Bully Ray planning his attack plan. What does he have in mind?
Joey Styles: I don't know Cole, but I pray that no one meets the end of that steel chain wrapped around his fist!
Jim Ross: Let's hope that doesn't happen to number 69. We got the clock coming down!
Jerry Lawler: *snickering* Heh, 69...
Bully Ray looked at the last 10 seconds ticking down to the 69th entrant.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #69: Joseph Park
With the sound of justice-type music filling the air around Metlife Stadium, the 69th entrant which was the track-suit wearing lawyer Joseph Park, appeared through the entrance stage with sweat pouring down his face. Wearing his usual dark blue tracksuit, he looked a little nervous, yet confident.
JBL: Well, I can tell this is gonna be trouble for Joseph Park!
Mike Tenay: The younger brother of Abyss is the 69th entrant of the Fanfiction Royal Rumble III!
Michael Cole: By the look on Joseph's face, I can't tell if he's wetting himself or taking a crap.
By the time Joseph Park finally got inside the ring...
...he was walloped by Bully Ray's steel chain!
Joey Styles: Oh my god!
Jim Ross: Joseph Park got walloped by Bully Ray!
JBL: Joseph Park might be eliminated before he even came in!
Mike Tenay: Uh-oh! Joseph Park's bleeding! You really don't wanna know what happens when he bleeds!
Contrary to Tenay's words, Park checked his forehead and noticed that he was bleeding.
That sent out an complete umbrage inside the nerves of Joseph Park. With an angry grit on his face, Park screamed out of control and eyed down Bully Ray who was trying to get Bridgette by surprise with his chain-wrapped fist!
Michael Cole: Uh-oh, please tell me Bully Ray's not gonna knock Bridgette in the back of the head.
Joey Styles: Somebody stop him! A hit like that could send Bridgette with a major convulsion!
But before Bully Ray could even think of hitting Bridgette in the back of the head, Joseph Park grabbed Bully Ray out of nowhere...
...and hit the leader of Aces & Eights with a Black Hole Slam!
Mike Tenay: Black Hole Slam! Joseph Park nailed Bully Ray nice and clean!
Jerry Lawler: Thank goodness Park saved Bridgette just in time.
Jim Ross: Bully Ray got spun like a Texas-sized tornado there!
That damage Park was doing wasn't enough, he needed more.
Not wasting any time, Park decided to grab Bridgette's arm, wrap it all around her and nail her with another Black Hole Slam!
Jim Ross: Dear gawd, now Bridgette gets the Black Hole Slam!
Joey Styles: Talk about a wipeout the size of a tidal wave!
Geoff was surprised at what a bloodied Joseph Park had done. His girlfriend became a victim of a Black Hole Slam courtesy of a sweaty lawler.
Not amused, Geoff tried to talk trash through his face, but Joseph Park retaliated by giving Geoff his third Black Hole Slam, just to shut the Party Boy up!
Michael Cole: *chuckling* Well, that didn't do anything to solve that little problem!
JBL: Geoff got taken for a ride via Joseph Park!
Jerry Lawler: Not to mention he lost his lucky hat on the process!
Seeing the way that Joseph Park was just plum insane, Dipper Pines decided to add a touch of extreme by going under the ring and checking under Dan's shopping cart of hardcore.
After some searching, Dipper Pines pulled out a Storm Trooper helmet painted in glittery silver. Somehow, he heard a "Shockmaster" chant go through the entire MetLife Stadium.
Jim Ross: Is that... a storm trooper helmet?
JBL: Geez, I hate to see what happens when he puts it on. He's gonna be Little Shockmaster!
Michael Cole: I'd cringe at that image very much. No one would be caught dead wearing that garbage.
When Dipper got inside the ring with a storm trooper helmet in hand, he tried to swing it at the insane lawyer...
...but Joseph Park caught him just in the nick in time, only to spin Dipper over with another Black Hole Slam! The entire East Rutherford were going crazy for Joseph Park!
Mike Tenay: Another Black Hole Slam! Joseph Park has definitely lost it!
Jerry Lawler: Well, you oughtta thank Bully Ray for making him snap in the first place!
Going a little Black Hole Slam-ming spree, Joseph Park decided to whip both Matt and Jeff Hardy into one turnbuckle!
Just like a freakish freight train going through hell, he dashed to the corner where he squashed both Hardys with a Running Hip Attack!
Michael Cole: Ohh! Talk about a Hardy sandwich!
JBL: Somebody oughtta get a straight jacket for Joseph Park. This guy's definitely gone nuts!
Joey Styles: Park is taking everybody down like a destruction derby!
After taking care of the Hardy's, Joseph Park decided to target Dolph Ziggler next.
Ziggler tried to hit a jumping DDT on Abyss's younger brother, but Joseph Park managed to counter the move by muscling Zigger up in an Argentine Backbreaker position. With a war cry, Park slammed the Showoff down successfully!
Joey Styles: Impressive counter by Joseph Park!
Jerry Lawler: He cracked Ziggler's back like a king crab.
JBL: All this thinking about food is really making me hungry.
While Joseph Park screamed to the sky in fierce anger, much to the delight of the WWE Universe...
...his time in the Rumble surprisingly came to an end when Liu Kang and Kitana snuck behind Joseph Park and sent him flying over the top rope and onto the floor with a double clothesline! The fans weren't quite pleased with the elimination of Abyss's younger brother.
Jim Ross: Oh my! Joseph Park's out!
Michael Cole: After all this carnage he brought out throughout the Rumble, Joseph Park has been eliminated!
Mike Tenay: It's very surprising to say that these fans don't like what happened to him!
61st Elimination: Joseph Park; Eliminated by: Liu Kang and Kitana; Duration: 1:30
However, Liu Kang and Kitana's little moment of glory didn't last long either as Shawn Michaels snuck up behind the couple, lifted them up the top rope and made then plummet all through the floor to a bit of moderate cheers.
Jerry Lawler: Oh! Now Kitana and Liu Kang are out!
Jim Ross: Shawn Michaels pulls double duty!
JBL: By the looks on both Kitana and Liu Kang's faces, they didn't know what hit them until now!
62nd Elimination: Kitana; Eliminated by: Shawn Michaels; Duration: 19:38
63rd Elimination: Liu Kang; Eliminated by: Shawn Michaels; Duration: 23:39
While the threesome of Liu Kang, Kitana and Joseph Park all left up the entrance ramp looking very defeated and angry. The Hardys managed to recover fast enough for Matt Hardy to pull off a unsuspecting Twist of Fate on The Rock.
Meanwhile, seeing his brother take down the Brahma Bull, Jeff Hardy decided to go high risk.
After taking off his tight black tanktop to a bunch of screaming fangirls, Hardy ascended to the top rope, hoping that no one would try to take him down and have him eliminated.
Michael Cole: Jeff's going up top! This is high-risk here!
Jerry Lawler: That's not gonna be a good place to be. Someone might knock him out of the ring for an elimination.
Mike Tenay: Whenever there's anything high-risk, Hardy's bound to take it!
But before Hardy could leap on the Rock, Shawn Michaels whipped Twilight Sparkle to the ropes, in which the collision forced Jeff Hardy to wreck himself on the turnpost painfully. Hardy could feel his entire fans groan and cringe as well.
Jim Ross: My gawd, that hurt!
Michael Cole: Twilight Sparkle ran in and Hardy took a wrong turn on the turnbuckle!
As Jeff Hardy laid down on the mat holding his balls painfully, the 10 second Rumble clock appeared on the titantron, awaiting the 70th entrant!
JBL: We have another entrant coming up! Let's see who it is!
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! *BZZT!*
Entrant #70: Kratos (God Of War)
Gladiator music played throughout Metlife Stadium as Kratos from "God of War" fame came out with a minor ovation. With an angry sneer through his face, Kratos started to race down the ring very viciously. Michael Cole thought differently the first time
Michael Cole: Oh, no... please tell me this guy's not competing! That guy's nothing but a savage!
Joey Styles: Like it or not Cole, Kratos from "God of War" is gonna be in the Rumble!
Michael Cole: This guy is nothing more than a murderer! I'm getting the hell outta here!
While the rest of the security were busy trying to keep Michael Cole from getting out the arena with his tail between his legs, the ring officals stopped Kratos from entering the ring any further.
They noticed that Kratos had weapons around him that he was gonna use on the rest of the contestant. Every weapon was meant to kill with cold blood. As Kratos was being instructed that he could not kill in the Rumble, the war-painted anti-hero had no choice but to put each of his weapons down.
Kratos: *to the ring officials* No matter, I won't need any of my weapons against these soul-less creatures!
Jerry Lawler: Good thing the ring officials managed to stop Kratos just in time. Killing is prohibited in the Rumble!
JBL: I'm very certain he knows about the rules, King. Stop acting like you're concerned.
After he took his precious weapons off, Kratos finally entered the ring.
Like many competitors who entered, Kratos started to make an instant impact. He looked to The Rock, who was still busy recuperating from the Twist of Fate made by Matt Hardy. Kratos picked up the People's Champion in a fisherman's suplex position, which transitioned to a Torture Rack position.
With a small grin forming down on Kratos's lips, he dropped the Rock down with a Shell Shocked!
Jim Ross: Kratos got the Rock with a Shell Shocked!
Joey Styles: It's very confusing since both Kratos and Ryback are very much alike!
JBL: I'll say... Kratos is very much like Ryback except if he got flour and dried ketchup all over him.
Mike Tenay: Interesting. I'll tell him you said that.
After he wiped the sweat coming through his forehead, Kratos caught Shawn Michaels's foot, knowing that the Heartbreak Kid tried to surprise him with Sweet Chin Music. Kratos wasn't amused.
So in response, Kratos picked Michaels up in a fireman's carry position and nailed HBK with an F5!
Michael Cole: Now look at this! F5 by Kratos!
Mike Tenay: He must've watched a lot of Brock Lesnar matches in his time.
Joey Styles: I doubt they even had wrestling back where he came from...
Kratos's impact was just beginning. Twilight Sparkle tried to surprise him with a flying body press on the top rope.
But her mistake was realized when Kratos nailed Twilight Sparkle with an earth-shaking RKO!
Joey Styles: *shouting* OH MY GOD!
Jim Ross: RKO! Kratos might have decapitated Twilight with that maneuver!
JBL: Why on earth is he copying moves from wrestlers? He's acting like some sort of shadow!
Jerry Lawler: I like to think he doesn't care what anybody thinks!
The stress was getting to Kratos, but it didn't matter. The sweat he was pouring down his face wasn't affecting him one bit.
Kratos looked to the side and saw Dipper Pines running at him with the silver storm trooper helmet still in hand. But Kratos was smart enough to duck and lift up Dipper Pines over the top rope...
...only for the hat-wearing youngster to land backfirst into that shopping cart! Luckily for Dipper, it was empty!
Joey Styles: Oh my god!
Michael Cole: Dipper frickin' landed on that shopping cart!
Mike Tenay: He was thrown over the top rope, but I didn't see his feet hit the floor.
JBL: Maybe not, so he's still in. The question is... how in the hell is Dipper gonna get back up?
As Dipper remained unconscious outside the ring inside a shopping cart, Geoff and Bridgette were having their time with Dolph Ziggler by double teaming the showoff.
Geoff scooped Dolph up by the shoulders while Bridgette went up the top rope, hoping for a high risk maneuver. Everyone in the stadium all stood up on their feet, watching this amazing occurrence unfold.
Joey Styles: Uh-oh, could Gidgette be channeling the Legion of Doom here!
JBL: Of course they are, Joey. Don't have a bird.
Jim Ross: Can they connect Ziggler with the Doomsday Device?
Not going for a clothesline here, Bridgette decided to leap her whole entire body to Ziggler.
But something freaky and amazing happened. Right when Ziggler caught her, he moonsaulted his own body off of Geoff's shoulders while slamming Bridgette backfirst into the mat! This brought out an amazing ovation from the fans!
Joey Styles: Oh my god! Did Dolph Ziggler do some sort of backflip powerslam onto Bridgette?
Mike Tenay: That's definitely X-Division-like if I've ever see one!
Jerry Lawler: It's amazing to see that Dolph Ziggler's is mysteriously getting support from these fans!
JBL: *chuckling* Good thing I'm retired!
30 seconds was approaching to the 71st entrant as Kratos's momentum was still rolling in the deep.
His next encounter was the leader of Aces & Eights, Bully Ray. Kratos hardly gave a damn what Bully Ray, who felt the same mutual feeling that Kratos felt. No remorse and no feelings whatsoever. As Bully Ray was wrapping his chain around his fist. Kratos started taunting him.
Kratos: *to Bully Ray* You won't live to see the end of this day!
Bully Ray: *to Kratos* We'll see about that, you little piece of scum flour!
Bully Ray charged with the chain-wrapped fist in hand and swung...
...but Kratos ducked and picked up Bully Ray, hitting a successful atomic drop! And yet, Kratos wasn't finished with him yet.
Jim Ross: Nice atomic drop coming from Kratos himself!
Michael Cole: I don't think he's finished with Bully Ray yet!
As Bully Ray was still feeling the effects from the atomic drop, Kratos scooped Bully Ray upside down and locked his arms around his back. He was walking around the ring, just for showing off to the fans, who were approving the actions of Kratos.
He stopped to see a steel chair by his feet. With such a devious smirk forming through his face, Kratos stood next to the chair while Bully Ray was struggling to get out with no avail.
JBL: Oh no, please don't tell me Kratos is gonna steal a playbook from the Undertaker!
Mike Tenay: This is not looking good for the Aces & Eights right about now!
Just like a rock, Kratos dropped to his knees while the top of Bully Ray's head was driven onto that steel chair!
Joey Styles: *cringing* Oh my god! Bully Ray's head got cracked on that steel chair with a Tombstone!
JBL: Like I said, it's copyright infringement.
Michael Cole: Call it like you want, JBL. The point is, Bully Ray's chances of winning this event don't mean much now! And these fans are enjoying that fact right now!
As Kratos suddenly got up on his feet, he looked around to Shawn Michaels...
...who managed to hit a Sweet Chin Music on the warrior's face. Michaels' boot was dangerously effective as Kratos hit the mat hard back-first!
Mike Tenay: Michaels got Kratos down with a Sweet Chin Music!
JBL: I never seen Kratos go down like that before, but who knew that a kick from Shawn Michaels would be the only thing to stop him?
Joey Styles: I sure as hell had my doubts!
While Kratos was still trying to get some vision back in his head, the countdown clock on the titantron started ticking down to number 71.
Jim Ross: This rumble has gotten crazier and crazier, but will number 71 be crazy? We're about to find out now!
To be continued, once again...
(READ)(&)(REVIEW)
Number 71 will come... right into the next chapter! So with that being said, let's see what kind of stats we got now...
Entries having gone through by the end of this chapter: 70
Entries left: 10
Number of eliminations: 63
People in the ring: 11
Eliminated: Fandango (first time), The Great Khali, Muscle Man, Big Show, Zack Ryder, Phineas Flynn, Robbie E, Catwoman, CM Punk, Steve Urkel, Batman, D.O.C., Ferb Fletcher, Mike Knox, Mr. Anderson, Clawdeen Wolf, Sting, Dipper Pines (first time), Bully Ray (first time), Devon, "Road Dogg" Jesse James, Mabel Pines, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Mark Henry, Zoey, "Cowboy" James Storm, Monty Monogram, Twilight Sparkle (first time), Spike, R-Truth, "Razor" Jake Clawson, Tommy Dreamer, Al Bundy (first time), Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Perry The Platypus, Fandango, John Morrison, Rob Van Dam, Riley Freeman, Hernandez, Chavo Guerrero, Applejack, The Great and Powerful Trixie, A.J. Styles, Heather, Earthworm Jim, Deadpool, John Cena, Sheamus, Justin, Jack Swagger, Dan, Al Bundy, Big E. Langston, Alberto Del Rio, Austin Aries, Mario, Marceline The Vampire Queen, Triple H, Mordecai, Cody Anderson, Joseph Park, Kitana and Liu Kang
In the ring: Bridgette, Bully Ray, Dipper Pines, Dolph Ziggler, Geoff, Jeff Hardy, Kratos, Matt Hardy, The Rock, Shawn Michaels and Twilight Sparkle
Will Dipper Pines find a way to get back in the ring while trying to prevent elimination? Is Bridgette being the most unluckiest contestant there is so far? Is Bully Ray gonna have enough strength to fight back (probably not)? I wish I told you all of these answers, but like I said, wait til next chapter.
Oh and before I go, a belated R.I.P. to Cory Monteith of "Glee" fame. You'll be missed, my friend.
Cory Monteith 1982-2013