Lizzie woke up to the sound of voices. She pulled back her covers and swung her bare feet over the side of her bed. Silently she tip-toed across the wood floor to her bedroom and twisted the knob. The sounds of the conversation drifted in more clearly through the open doorway.
"-solutions beside this. You can't-" It was her mommy's voice and she sounded mad.
"I can. I have to." Daddy! Lizzie scampered down the hallway to the kitchen. He wasn't supposed to be home for another week! Daddy's trips had been a part her life for as long as she could remember, but this was the first time he'd ever arrived home early.
"Daddy!" Lizzie ran full stop at her father and wrapped her arms around his waist. She was so glad to see him, to feel him there solid, and warm, she almost didn't notice that her father didn't smell right. When she pressed her face into her father like this Lizzie always smelled the special mixture of scents that made up his cologne, but just then all she could make out was the smell of smoke. She looked up at her father at her father accusingly, "You promised Mommy and me, no more cigars!"
Her father choked out a laugh that didn't sound at all like his usual one, "I did. And what do I always say about promises?" Lizzie thought for a moment and then recited the words from memory.
"You don't make promises you can't keep."
"That's right. And I promise I haven't been smoking. You believe me?" Elizabeth nodded fervently. Of course she did, he was her Daddy, and he always told her the truth.
"But why do you smell like smoke?" Daddy glanced over at Mommy before returning his gaze to her.
"When I was on my trip I was in a little bit of an accident. There was a fire." Lizzie heart leapt into her throat. Fire was dangerous; her teacher had said so. She clung to her father even tighter than before. Daddy gently peeled her arms off his legs and squatted down so they were eye to eye.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm fine." He brushed a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. The familiar gesture calmed her somewhat.
"Do you promise?" Daddy nodded solemnly.
"I do." He kissed the top of her head, then unexpectedly pulled her in for a hug. Lizzie rested her head on his shoulder.
"Do you promise no more trips?" Daddy's trips had been bad enough when all they meant was that she wouldn't see her father for days, or sometimes weeks, but this was different. Daddy could have been hurt, and he wouldn't have had Mommy or Lizzie to take care of him.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go on one more. My last trip." Mommy made a strange noise behind Lizzie, but as Lizzie turned to look her Daddy picked her up beneath her arms and swung her around in a circle. It was so unexpected, Lizzie couldn't help, giggle in spite of the bad news. After she'd stopped laughing her face grew serious once more.
"When do you have to leave?" Daddy's bright blue eyes, which Mommy said were just like Lizzie's, peered into hers, and for a scary moment Lizzie thought she saw tears welling inside them. She blinked and when she looked again they were gone. Lizzie quickly decided they had never been there in the first place. Daddy never cried.
"Tonight." Her father's answer was enough to bring tears to her own eyes.
"But you just got home! It's not fair!"" The only nice thing about Daddy's trips was that they usually had a few full days together before he had to go back into work again. Daddy had promised to start teaching her how to play chess.
"I know. Lizzie, if it were up to me I'd never ever leave you again." Lizzie stuck out her bottom lip. She hated it when grown-ups said stupid things like that. Daddy was an adult. No made him do anything he didn't want to do.
"Then stay." Mommy once told her that Daddy had a very important job and that she had to learn to share him with the people who needed him. Lizzie knew about sharing, but it wasn't fair that the other people kept skipping her turn.
"I can't. One day you'll understand why I can't. For now I need you to be my brave girl. Can you do that for me?" Lizzie blinked, trying to keep herself from crying. If Daddy needed her to be brave, she would be.
"Yes." Lizzie sniffed and wiped her eyes with her pajama sleeve.
"I want to show you something." Daddy carried Lizzie over to the kitchen window. He pointed out into the night sky, "Do you see the moon out there tonight?" Lizzie looked out, and sure enough the moon was there, big, full, and bright.
"Yes." It was beautiful. She felt so safe looking up at the moon, with her father's arms around her. She wished the moment could last forever.
"Tomorrow morning you'll wake up and you won't see the moon anymore." Lizzie tore her eyes away from the glowing orb to look at her father.
"Where will it go?"
"It will still be up there, in the sky, but you won't be able to see it, because the sun will be shining. When I'm away on my trip, I'll be just like the moon. You won't be able to see me, but I'll be out there somewhere thinking about you." Lizzie looked back at the moon. Gone, but not really gone. It wasn't as good as having Daddy here with her, where she could see him, and hug him, and laugh with him, but it was something.
"You promise this is your last trip?" Daddy nodded and set her down on the kitchen floor.
"I promise." Although his voice sounded normal, there was something strange about the way he was looking at her. He was staring so hard that she imagined he was counting the freckles on her nose.
"And you'll be home soon?" There was a long pause, in which cold terror seized Lizzie's gut. Why wasn't he answering?
"I promise I'll come home as soon as I can. Now go on to bed, you need to get some sleep. You have school tomorrow." Lizzie exhaled with relief. She started toward her bedroom, then glanced back over her shoulder. She was shocked to see her father, who usually stood so straight and proud, with slumped shoulder. He looked so tired and sad that she immediate ran back and hugged him again.
"I love you, Daddy." She felt his hand stroke the back of her head.
"I love you more." He scooped her up in his arms once again and carried her down the hall to her bedroom. Daddy lay Lizzie gently down on the mattress and tucked her covers snuggly around her.
"Stay until I fall asleep?" she pleaded, not really expecting him to, but wanting it all the same. To her surprise her nodded and sank into the rocking chair next to her bed. Lizzie closed her eyes suddenly feeling more tired than she'd ever been in her life. The sound of her father's breathing was more soothing than a thousand lullabies. She was safe. Her father was here.