Quotes:

Anger - Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. – Seneca

Anxiety - Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager. You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick. ~Steve Bull

Her feet were getting wet as she walked to school. She knew it was childish, but Hinata absolutely adored jumping in puddles. She would look around, make absolutely sure no one was around, and leap, splashing water everywhere. Her happiest memory was holding her mother's hand in the park, wearing big waterproof boots and jumping in every puddle.

The sun was shining through the grey clouds, making the water on the road sparkle. Everything was glistening in the weak sunlight after the rain had drenched it all the previous day. Hinata touched a hedge and felt little drops of water slid down her palm. Her dry hand clutched a violin case protectively.

She would be early for school, but wasn't she always? If she waited, the driver would give her and Hanabi a lift. But if she waited, Karin would be there. Hinata hurried up at the mere thought of the other girl. Karin and her friends always came to school at the same time, but if Hinata got there first she could hide inside the library until class.

Her first meeting with her grandmother had gone unbelievably well. She'd sat there in silence for one, peaceful hour, happily stroking the cat and listening to her grandmother talk about teenage pregnancies.

When she'd returned to the house, her father had demanded to know how it had gone, clearly expecting a verbal response. Hinata had smiled and nodded her head, to his annoyance, but Hanabi had distracted him with a question.

She walked through the entrance gates of the school, huddled in her big coat, fluffy hood hiding her face. Her hair peeked out, long dark strands folding around her scarf. She always dressed for winter, no matter what the weather was. She didn't care if she melted to death in the summer, as long as no one could see her hips or her stomach.

There were a few other students there already, kicking about a ball half-heartedly, blinking in the sudden sunlight.

"Oi, Sasuke-bastard!" A voice roared from behind her. She jumped violently, shocked, as a lightly muscled tanned blonde shot past her, in basketball uniform. Naruto. Her face immediately flushed red.

The boy with the ball looked up and scowled at Naruto.

"Got here early for once, didn't I?" Naruto beamed, aiming a friendly kick at Sasuke's legs, who dodged carelessly, "The old man dropped me off."

"I thought Kushina had the car today." Sasuke swiped at Naruto's face, wincing when his fist actually connected, "Dodge quicker, dobe."

"Argh! Sasuke-bastard!" Naruto yelled, holding his red cheek and glowering at his friend, "That really hurt, you know… She does have the car. He just bought one for me yesterday, early birthday present. You know how the old man can't keep a secret. He burst out, 'Son, we got you a car and I have been wanting to tell you that for three months.' Then Mom slapped him upside the head and took me out to see it. It's orange, Sasuke-bastard, orange, have you ever seen an orange car? I sure haven't and I was –"

"Dobe, shut up, it's too early for your babble." Sasuke rubbed at his own forehead, his scowl growing. Hinata felt a flicker of sympathy. Headaches? She had so many herself, tension aches that made her whole skull throb in agony.

But she had really wanted to hear about Naruto's orange car, his parents and everything else she didn't know about him. From his grin to his boots, everything about Naruto was bright and fascinating.

The clothes that hung in Hinata's wardrobe were mostly dull colours, white, beige, grey and most of all, black. Her own hair that she hid behind was dark and fell down to her waist. Her eyes had often been described as colourless. Her skin was pale.

Naruto dressed up the school uniform with bright little touches, a blue-green crystal necklace dancing at his chest, an obscenely orange jacket and big, ugly matching boots. He looked like a surfer with his deeply tanned skin and sun-bleached blonde hair. But the brightest, most beautiful thing about him, surpassed only by his grin, were his sky-blue eyes.

Hinata hung back, hood over her face, thickly-lashed eyes looking at the two of them talking and playing around, mesmerised. That kind of carefree happiness… It was like waking up after a stormy night, looking out of your window and seeing the sun shining in a deep blue sky with birds singing. She wanted to talk to them. Wanted to thank Naruto for his easy-going nature, his cheerful smile, because those were the things that had broken through her silence.

Thank you, she mouthed at his back. Sasuke caught sight of her staring at them and frowned at her a little, but only for a moment, like she wasn't worth more than ten seconds of scrutiny. Maybe she wasn't.

Naruto turned his head to see what Sasuke had glanced at. His smile grew blinding. Hinata shrank back.

"Yo! What's your name again?" Naruto bounded over to her like an enthusiastic puppy and, displaying an alarming lack of awareness for her personal space, pulled her hood down to peer at her face.

"It's Hinata, moron." Sasuke grunted after following his friend at a much more casual pace.

"Eh? How'd you know that?"

"She introduced herself yesterday. Don't you remember, idiot? Her name's Hyuuga Hinata." Sasuke emphasised the name as if it would better engrave itself on Naruto's memory if he said he just right.

Hinata looked at him questioningly, had she told them she was a Hyuuga yesterday…?

"We're distantly related." Sasuke said reluctantly in response to her silent question, "My dad's related to every family with money on this side of the world. I'm Uchiha Sasuke."

Hinata's eyebrows shot up. An Uchiha attending her school? Had her father known? There was no real, tangible rivalry between the two families, but the fact that they were both well-known for two things, money and inbreeding, meant they tended to grate on each other when together.

Her father had once dismissively stated that the Uchihas had so many connections they might as well not have bothered making them. She never understood that, but Hanabi had privately explained her own theory to her – their father was jealous of their power and wealth, which certainly outshone their own. Hinata hated that kind of mind-set, the ugly side of human nature, scraping away all manners and compassion, ending up with a desperate need to get ahead of everyone else. Like in horror movies when all friendship and kindness was eschewed in favour of survival. She wanted to believe people were better than that.

Like Naruto, who was looking increasingly more and more shocked.

"Whoa, how are you related?" His mouth was gaping open like a fish as he aimed his accusing statement at Sasuke, "You didn't tell me you had relatives here!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I didn't know, dobe. I only knew she was a Hyuuga because of her eyes."

When you were a quiet, obedient kind of girl, people liked to talk about you like you weren't there. Or maybe they didn't realise that the pale, silent girl could actually comprehend what they were saying.

"Her eyes?" Naruto swivelled round to examine her, ignoring or not noticing her squirms of embarrassment. Her eyes were quite possibly her worst feature. They were big and round and her eyelashes were thick and long. But those weren't the bad parts, the colour was. Her eyes were so pale and ghostly that she'd creeped people out by staring at them long enough. And now, Mr Sunshine, happiest guy alive, was staring straight into her eyes, head tilted to the side curiously.

"Pretty." He commented, without a trace of irony in his voice.

Hinata stared up at him, breathless. Pretty. He'd called her eyes pretty.

"You play basketball?" Naruto suddenly beamed at her, obviously bored of the whole Sasuke's-related-to-Hinata-somehow (probably through extremely distant incest) issue.

She blinked at him, aware of the violin case in her hand and her long, painstakingly shaped nails, her only attempt to feminise her appearance.

Was this what she looked like to near-strangers? A possible basketball player?

She shook her head.

"Aw, c'mon, it's easy!" Naruto laughed, "We'll just toss the ball about a bit and you can tell me all about yourself, Hinata-chan."

It was sad and pathetic that hearing this boy say her name made her feel so happy. Acknowledged. Made real by his voice.

And she couldn't soften the blow of her rejection, mixing her head shake with some polite words. She could only shake her head again, hoping her eyes could adequately communicate her apology.

They couldn't.

Naruto's smile died down to a neutral frown, "Huh. OK, Sasuke-bastard, go find Kiba or someone. If it's just you and me playing we'll kill each other."

Sasuke looked very much like he wanted to roll his eyes again but just walked off without a word.

Naruto was suddenly awkward without his silent, stoic companion.

"So, Hinata-chan… guess you're new here?" He said in a hopeful attempt to strike up a conversation.

This time, Hinata tried a smile and shook her head once more.

"You don't talk much, huh?" He observed.

She hesitated, not wanting to shake her head again. She always felt stupid when people pressed conversations on her. Couldn't they see the words frozen in her throat? The stammering air when she tried to speak and nothing came out… It was humiliating.

Her mouth pursed, shaping the word 'no.' She couldn't voice it, but Naruto seemed to understand.

"Heh, I know plenty of people like that. Guy called Shino, he practically never speaks and when he does it's all creepy. Even Sasuke doesn't speak a lot of the time. Hey, maybe it's a family thing!" He seemed genuinely enthused by his idea.

Expert now at conveying subtle emotion in facial expressions, Hinata screwed up her face to indicate her lack of faith in his suggestion and he grinned, not one of his easy smiles, a sincerely amused one.

"It's funny, I know you aren't talking back or anything, but I feel like you are, you know?" Naruto chatted away, "It's probably 'cause I'm so used to talking to Sasuke-bastard – whoops, didn't mean to swear – and it's like having a conversation with a brick wall. So, it's cool."

Was he reassuring her?

"Hinata-sama." A clipped, cold voice behind her.

She froze. Naruto frowned at her sudden unease, glancing at the guy behind her who had spoken.

Neji walked to Naruto's side and glared at him, Hanabi at his heels.

"What are you doing?" Neji had a gift for spitting his words out like knives. Hinata felt every one like a blow.

Her father had made it clear that although this was one of the better schools in the area, there would be people here that were unscrupulous or simply not worthy of interacting with. He'd given them warnings not to make friends with people who were likely to just want to sponge off their money or use them in any way. He'd even warned Neji.

Neji acted like a bodyguard when out of the house, mixed with a pit-bull. He enjoyed snapping at those who got too close, who presumed too much or were just plain unsuitable. Hinata believed it was both the conditioning his uncle had enforced upon him to believe he had to serve his cousins in every way, and the freedom of outside that had him reacting so poorly to people he wasn't related to.

With the Hyuuga family, there was 'them' and then there were 'others.'

Judging by the look in Neji's eyes, he classed Naruto as an other.

Hinata couldn't reply, her cousin knew she couldn't and yet still he pressed, his glare hardening.

"Hey, I'm Uzumaki Naruto," He started to introduce himself with his traditional breezy smile.

Neji looked at him like he was dirt, staring at the hand he had put out to offer a shake in greeting. If looks could kill, Naruto's hand would have crumbled to dust under the sheer weight of Neji's disdainful glare.

"Good for you." Neji drawled.

Naruto's hand twitched. His tanned face flushed red, his neck turning the same colour. He swallowed and pulled his hand back.

Hinata opened her mouth to defend him. Neji's withering glare fell upon her and the words died in her throat.

"Neji-nii-san," Hanabi said, bored, "I'm going to go talk to my friends. See you later."

Why, Hinata wanted to ask, why was Hanabi allowed friends when she wasn't?

One look at Neji told her everything she needed to know. Because Hinata was weak and needed to be protected, sheltered from those who would take advantage of her.

She was the older sister. She was supposed to be the one Hanabi looked up to.

"You Hinata-chan's brother, then?" Naruto made a stab at friendly conversation once again.

"Her cousin." Neji looked mildly surprised Naruto hadn't started yelling or stormed off yet, "And I'm sure she has somewhere to be. Violin practice, Hinata-sama?"

"Why do you call her Hinata-sama, if she's your cousin?" Naruto scrunched his nose up in confusion, creditably ignoring Neji's icy glare.

Neji hated having to acknowledge the status difference between he and his cousins. He threw Hinata a filthy look and spat, "Because she is my better."

Hinata's face fell. She wasn't better than anyone, least of all Neji, strong, capable Neji.

Naruto saw her expression and the confusion on his face deepened.

"Your better? What the hell does that even mean?" He said incredulously.

"I'm not." Hinata said, so very quietly and faintly that the two others barely heard her.

Neji's head jerked around and he stared at her, amazed. He hadn't heard her speak in two months, not with Hanabi's gentle words, not with Neji's icy insults and not even with her father leaning close to her face, hands gripping the arms of the chair she sat in, shouting at her to speak up.

She had stayed silent, not out stubbornness, out of shyness or inability or something else.

So what had changed?

Naruto was oblivious to Neji's shock, "You're not what?"

Her jaw clenched, her grip on her violin case strengthening. She would say this. This, at least, was too important. Neji needed to know.

Neji watched something like pain flicker over his cousin's face as she struggled to answer the direct question.

"…Better." She whispered finally.

Naruto's confusion cleared away, his frown fading as he really looked at her, maybe for the first time.

Neji looked at her for the longest moment. Hanabi, for all her confidence and eloquence, had never once claimed to be anything less than above Neji. Hinata had said it with her precious few words.

Eventually he simply nodded, looked between Hinata and Naruto and muttered, "If he bothers you, just look at me and I'll come back over."

Hinata mustered a smile, knowing she never would, not even if Naruto turned nasty.

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It was gonna be a damn fucking shitty day. Her leg was hurting again. Just the right, always the right one. Sakura rolled over in bed and breathed out into the pillow, feeling the ache going through her bone, wanting to shake her leg, throw the pain off.

She slid out of bed, tripping over her leg and landing on a stack of magazines.

When she got downstairs, her mother was talking to her father in her favourite passive-aggressive way.

"Darling, I think she deserves a break, don't you?" She said pleasantly, glaring daggers at her husband.

Sakura's father chewed on his toast, leaning against the counter, getting crumbs on his suit, "It's not a case of 'deserves,'" He said thickly through his mouthful of food, "She 'needs' stability, her education, her friends. We can't just give her days off whenever we feel like it."

"She was having nightmares again." Her mother whispered.

Sakura stood in the hall and breathed out shakily. When would her mother stop checking on her in the night?

Her father fell silent.

Sakura chose that moment to noisily enter the room, plastering an innocent look on her face as though she hadn't just been listening to them argue about her.

"Sakura!" Her mother smiled widely, "Take a seat, I'll fix you up with something."

"Heroin, please." Sakura responded dryly.

Her mother sucked in a breath and looked at her reproachfully, "Toast should do you good."

Sure it would. Just like the 'all-greens diet' and the healthy shakes and all of the fruit had. With all the good Sakura had consumed over the past few months, she was pretty sure she was full.

Sakura sat at the little round table and tried to keep the pain out of her expression.

"Sweetheart, take your meds."

"I'll be fine." Sakura said stubbornly. Damn things always made her feel queasy.

"If you don't take them, the pain will get worse. They'll only last four hours, so take some with you."

Sakura sighed, taking the little pills her mother was offering her way. She'd gotten good at swallowing them now, at least. At first she'd hated it and they'd given her liquid crap that tasted as bad as it looked.

"Eat your breakfast first, then take the pills." Her father reminded her, raising his eyebrows at her.

She slowly at the toast her mother had placed in front of her. It tasted like cardboard. Finally, she finished it and took the pills.

"Thanks." She muttered, pushing her plate away.

"Is Ino going to be in school today? I can ring and check…"

"There's no point." Sakura said sullenly.

She saw her mother mouth 'bad day' at her husband, who winced.

Her parents often had mouthed conversations with each other as though Sakura was too stupid or blind to notice. She liked to cut in on their silent conversations with snarky comments, making them jump.

"Darling, if Ino isn't there, maybe it would be best if you stayed –"

"No, I'm going to school." Sakura said resolutely, "And don't call my teachers or bother Ino on her mobile. I'll be fine, OK?"

"It's only her second day back," Her father said quietly, "Give her a chance, love."

Her mother sighed, before beginning to slowly and methodically clean the dishes, "OK. I'll be at the hospital today, they've got some new interns who need supervising. That Neji boy might be here later on, I've decided to train him up a bit, one, to wipe the smirks off of my colleagues' faces and two, because he has a lot of potential."

Ooh, Neji.

Sakura smirked and handed her plate to her mother, "Sure, I'll keep him company."

She grabbed her school bag, privately hoping Ino was in today, and made to leave.

"Sweetheart," Her mother stopped her with one soapy, wet hand, looking confused, "Don't forget that. You had a bad time of it last night, don't think I couldn't hear. I don't want you pushing yourself too hard."

Sakura gave her mother a long, measured look, and grabbed the metal walking stick that rested next to the door.

She took a step with it, her leg awkward and stiff, and immediately felt her other leg flare with pain. Tears sprang to her eyes. It never ended. It had been so long, and yet it still fucking hurt. Her mother stepped forward as though to comfort her.

Sakura got the door open with difficulty and tripped down the step, feeling the sun hit her face.

"You forgot to take more meds with you!" Her father called after her, "Don't walk to school, I can give you a lift!"

She shook her head fiercely and stomped off, little daggers of pain slicing through her legs with every step.

The days when she just stayed in bed and demanded bacon were the best. Her mother was cheerful and in her element when she could just give in to her instincts and mother Sakura. Her father occasionally came to her room and cracked jokes. Those were the days she felt almost happy and optimistic.

Other days, she didn't want help from anyone and fiercely resented her lack of independence.

It was a ten minute walk. It took Sakura half an hour.

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Kiba perked up at the sight of her, grin lighting up his face, "Hey, Sakura! Punch any –"

He cut himself off, staring in complete shock.

Sakura, hot and exhausted, ignored him, focusing on her metal cane clunking unevenly on the floor, slowly making her way up the hall.

Her first day back at school, she had relied on Ino to haul her everywhere, her hand gripping her arm, using her as a crutch.

She'd do better with crutches, Sakura reflected, seeing as both of her legs had started to ache incessantly, instead of just one cane.

"Fuck off, Kiba." She muttered as she passed him, her progress slow and painful.

Ino spotted her and charged down the hall, nearly knocking Kiba over.

"Sakura!" She called, her face worried. Ino's concern and sympathy was the only kind Sakura could bear, "Let me help."

She put an arm around Sakura's back, expertly positioning her to take most of the ache off of her legs.

"Is it a bad day?" She whispered in Sakura's ear.

Sakura just nodded.

"You'll be OK, I'll help."

Ino was as good as her word, slowly and patiently helping Sakura to the classroom, ignoring her grinding her teeth in restrained fury and the humiliated flush on her face.

Yesterday, there'd been practically no pain. She'd been able to walk alone, act normal on her first day back, obviously disappointing those gossipers. Now, they'd have plenty to gossip about.

Kakashi looked up as Ino helped Sakura into the science room, his eyes narrowing at the sight of Sakura, pain draining her face of colour, holding onto Ino like a lifeline.

The class stared, erupting into whispers and titters.

Sakura shook Ino off angrily, limping to her seat unaided, ignoring the daggers slicing through her bones.

She sat there for twenty minutes, her desk in a patch of sunlight, hot and uncomfortable, face propped up by her fist, her eyes closed against the pain. She was sweating lightly, and not just from the heat.

She was concentrating so hard on bearing the pain that she missed Kakashi's words and looked up, eyes watering.

It wasn't sympathy in his eyes, it was pity. "Haruno," He said, shutting the book he'd been reading from about molecules, "Do you need to go to the nurse's office?"

Sakura felt the stares of the class burn through her, the curious eyes and amused giggles grating on her nerves. Ino was aghast, knowing just how Sakura would feel about being put on the spot like this.

"Fuck." She groaned, putting her head on the boiling desk and gritting her teeth in frustration. One class. Just one class, that was all she'd been aiming for. Just one, to show everyone she wasn't crazy, that there was nothing worth gossiping about her.

She got up messily, grabbing her cane, wincing at its intense heat due to being left in the sun, stumbling against the neighbouring desks. The people she bumped into either complained or laughed. She lurched against Kiba's desk, fearing his sardonic words of complaint (always sure to make the class erupt into laughter), but he looked appalled.

"Just fuck off!" She turned to address the laughing class, tears of fury stinging her eyes. The class looked back at her, most of them looking confused.

She shoved her way out as best she could, ignoring Ino's calls and Kakashi's murmurs.

She burst through the door, slamming it behind her, collapsing against the lockers opposite the classroom, sobbing in frustration and shame.

She threw her cane down the hall in a surge of fury.

She looked up when she didn't hear the cane's impact against the ground. What the hell…?

The strange red-head had caught her cane one-handed, his expression unreadable as he gazed at her.

Yep, Sakura's got a cane. She didn't use it in the last chapter because she didn't need it that day.

Feel free to speculate.

If the class seemed unusually unsympathetic to a girl with a cane in obvious pain, remember that, 1). they're teenagers who don't really like Sakura and 2). this is Sakura's perspective, so it's her opinions and thoughts, and they might well be biased.

Since the two main character's contrast each other in more than one way, I thought it would be cool to sprinkle these differences throughout the chapters. This chapter has sunlight as the main difference, but Neji's behaviour towards them both is also contrasting.

Gaara and Sakura meet once again.

Gaara would have been hit in the face by that cane had he not been really good at catching things. Yes, the mental image of a distraught Sakura flinging her cane into Gaara's face amused me.

Hinata has an almost-conversation with Naruto.

Sasuke and Naruto display their adorable rival-friendship. No, Naruto's parents aren't dead in this AU.

Sorry for the long gap in between this chapter and the last :S So many fanfics…

Please suggest names for Hinata's grandma, I know someone suggested Hana but that's Kiba's sister's name, isn't it? Means flower, as far as I know… very cute name :)

Quick poll take for fun: What's your favourite Naruto pairing? (I have probably asked this before)

A) Naruhina

B) Sasusaku

C) Gaasaku

D) Other! Let me know!