III.
Sloan did eventually make it back to work, but not as soon as she had originally hoped. Sunny still struggled and, while her and Sloan's relationship continued to make leaps and bounds, many nights she still sat by the door, clutching a blanket and crying for her mother. They continued to spend their Saturday nights and Sunday's with MacKenzie and, sometimes, Will. Pictures of them at a fair in Midtown had made their rounds through a handful of magazines; Sunny in a pale blue summer dress, dangling off of Will's shoulder's and sharing cotton candy with MacKenzie. People already seemed to be inherently curious about their lives outside the newsroom, and now that news about Sloan's absence from the network and Sunny's adoption were spreading, that interest only grew.
The first broadcasts Sloan managed to reclaim were the two afternoon market watches. Her and MacKenzie had interviewed with preschool after preschool about Sunny but, due to the publicity that would surely come along with her, many were unwilling to take her. ("This is so stupid," Sloan had raged after they had been turned down a fourth time, frustrated tears clouding her vision as they walked down the sidewalk. "They can't punish her just because she's...she's...my...," Sunny was yammering contentedly to MacKenzie, tiny fingers tracing along her necklace as MacKenzie grinned and held the girl closer. "Oh shush, Sloan. It's their loss. And I think the word you're looking for is daughter." She pressed an earnest kiss against Sunny's temple. She didn't know any better. She was just excited to play with unfamiliar toys while Sloan and MacKenzie talked to new strangers.)
They did eventually find one that seemed to fit; a little Montessori academy not too far from A C N. Her lead teacher was the daughter of the owner, a bubbly 20 something straight out of college who was overly enthusiastic about everything. ("I don't know if I can trust someone who has a coronary over finger paints, Kenzie.") She said she'd be happy to help Sunny work on her English. Sunny even got to wear a cute little uniform. Everything was pretty perfect except they closed at 5:30, and Sloan barely made it to her every day after the 4:00 broadcast finished at 5. There wasn't anywhere for Sunny to be during News Night, even for as short of a segment as Sloan had. MacKenzie had suggested she just bring her back upstairs with her but nights for Sunny were always hit or miss. She was either happily exhausted, content to weaving around Sloan's feet as she tried making dinner, or she was a totally distressed, sobbing mess who ran from her and refused to move to do anything except watch Will on News Night.
Sloan was asked at least twice a day when she would bring Sunny in to visit; it had been almost three months since she had come to live in New York and everyone was getting a little anxious. The only other person who had seen Sunny in person, outside of Will and MacKenzie, was Maggie. She came over most Sunday nights to sprawl across Sloan's floor and fold laundry with Sunny anchored to her back telling her endless stories about her week, in Japanese.
Really, for what it was worth, Sloan didn't mind their current routine much. She didn't drop Sunny off at school until close to noon but she found herself missing her terribly throughout the day. Even during her rough nights, Sunny would usually give in by bed time and cuddle with Sloan before falling asleep.
Still, she couldn't deny missing News Night, too. News Night was MacKenzie. News Night was Will at the anchor desk, and News Night was just home.
A month after Sunny started preschool, 4 months since she had left her home in Japan, Sloan ran in to one of her neighbors, a mother of two small children that Sloan was ashamedly sure she wouldn't have given a second glance before Sunny came in to her life. She offered to watch her for an hour every night while Sloan did her News Night segment. Sloan was both hesitant and excited. Over the next couple of days Sloan and Sunny spent time at the woman, Angie's, apartment. Her two sons, Mark and Alex, were only a year older than Sunny and she was currently working on home schooling them. Hence the chronic exhaustion, Sloan figured.
"I don't know," Sloan had said, almost a week in to their visits. She was sitting in the living room with Angie, clutching a cup of tea as Sunny raced little matchbox cars across the floor with the boys, giggling. "I wouldn't want to put more on you."
In the end, Sloan got out of Angie that she had seen her and Sunny in the tabloids. She was initially shocked until she recognized where Sloan was from. After beating around the bush for a few more minutes Angie admitted, almost painfully, that she had been struggling financially and could barely make the rent since Mark and Alex's father had left them a year ago. The extra money would really be a help.
Angie's kids were really cute. One, a messy blonde, was patting Sunny's shoulder in an attempt to get her attention, which was currently on his brother. And, god damn it to fucking hell, tears were streaking this woman's cheeks now, sloppy and huge, as she murmured about understanding if Sloan thought she was a cheap fraud.
"Listen," Sloan said quietly, reaching across the space between them to grab Angie's hand. "I don't think you're a cheap fraud but...,"
Sunny glanced up at that same instant and caught Sloan's gaze, her entire face lighting up before turning back to play. Sloan sighed.
"But that little girl is my entire life and I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to her."
Hearing the words, uttered for the very first time, comforted Sloan immensely. She knew it was all true. She would give up everything to make sure Sunny had a loving, productive life. After talking for nearly two more hours, all three kids soundly conked out in respective laps, Sloan decided that Angie would do the same for her sons. That she was.
Sloan's first night back at the anchor desk was the next week.
Things went perfectly fine for weeks. Sunny was picking up English amazingly fast and could now say a few things. She was always clamoring to get out the door to see her new favorite people, Mark and Alex, who were always just as enthusiastic to see her. She still had nights where all she could focus on was wailing in sorrow for everything she had left behind in Japan, but, the fix was easy enough and Angie always knew that steering her towards a Will anchored television would quiet the sobbing until Sloan could pick her up. Those nights usually earned her phone calls to Will, Sunny whimpering and listening and fighting for air as he usually talked to her about the next days rundown. One night, before Sloan told Sunny to say good night, she could hear Will on the other end breaking away from the usual tired monologue that soothed Sunny on the mere fact that it was his voice on the other end of the line.
"Sunny, I'm terribly sorry for everything that has happened to you. You're a very sweet, smart little kid. Things will get better. They usually do. We'll be here. Me and Sloan and your MacKenzie who loves you so, so much. It'll be okay, buddy. I promise."
Sloan, making a futile attempt to hide pressing tears, nudged Sunny. The little girl took a stuttering breath, concentrating.
"Good night, Will."
It, of course, was one of Sunny's worst nights the evening Angie called Sloan, frantic, saying that Mark and Alex's father was in town and that she wouldn't be able to watch her.
"Angie, do I have to kick someone's ass?" Sloan asked, Sunny shrieking and throwing a colossal fit just behind her. Angie sighed at all the noise.
"I'm so sorry, Sloan. No, no you don't. He's just...I'd feel more comfortable if he didn't know about Sunny."
Sunny, shoulder's slumped and body shaking as she stood near Sloan, began repeating the familiar call for her mother. She was still dressed in her Montessori uniform, her bright red shirt and khaki pants streaked with green paint.
"It's okay, Ang. Listen, I've got to go, but you need to call me if anything happens, alright?"
"I will. Nothing's going to happy. Go take care of your baby."
As soon as she hung up, Sloan was quick to kneel next to Sunny. She didn't pull away when Sloan grabbed her hands.
"Shhhh," Sloan tried gently, Sunny fidgeting, crying desperately. She tucked loose strands of hair behind Sunny's ears, cupping her wet cheeks. In quick Japanese, Sloan told Sunny they were going to the newsroom. They were going to see MacKenzie and Will and Maggie and everything was going to be fine. Sloan couldn't tell if she was trying harder to convince herself or Sunny but all the little girl did was crumple in a whimpering heap, giving no indication she even understood what Sloan had just said.
In a quick stroke of genius, Sloan thought to grab Sunny's blanket before grabbing the toddler's squirmy form and tucking her under her chin.
It comforted her for about two blocks.
Sloan had always heard of people claiming things moved in slow motion during traumatic, or otherwise scary experiences for them. She had never felt such a sensation until Rashida's lawyer had called her, nearing 6 months ago. This, riding in a crowded elevator up to the newsroom with an inconsolable 3 year old, was the second time. She could feel everyone's judgement, the whispers of that's that little girl. She was Sloan Sabbith. A well put together, successful economist. She had two PhD's, but, there was Sunny and Sunny was three feet tall and continued to fall in to fits of despair over the injustice of her short life and Sloan had absolutely no control over her. She wished she could just scream at everyone in the elevator; Sunny's a good girl, she's just really sad right now, okay, she's had a rough year but she's fantastic. She gets fucking gold stars at preschool, I bet none of you got gold anything in preschool! I bet you were all still eating dirt in preschool!
Of course, she said none of that and by the time the elevator stopped on their floor, Sunny was hyperventilating, her entire face leaking everything possible, her tiny hands clutched impossibly tight in to her blanket.
Sloan had no time to prepare herself for the dead silence that would meet them in the newsroom but she was quick to flood it with words, beelining towards Will's office.
"Hi, yes, hi, I'll explain everything later! Yes, this is Sunny. No, she's not usually this wrecked but I mean...anyway...,"
Heads turned and watched, bewildered, Maggie quick to hop up from her desk and chase after them. The click of Will's office door shutting behind them was the best sound Sloan had heard all day. She let Sunny down on the floor where she quickly fell backwards in to a sitting position and, with renewed breath, started howling again in the middle of the room. Will, previously having been going over the points for the broadcast that was due to start in a matter of minutes, stared at Sloan wordlessly.
"It's a long story but she's really upset and her babysitter had an emergency and I don't know what to do."
Quivers began to trace through Sloan's fingers and she begged herself not to start crying. Maggie was knelt on the floor whispering to Sunny but the little girl only stared back at her, pleading through overflowing tears.
"Mama, mama...anata ni aitai desu, anata ni aitai desu."
I want to see you.
Sloan stood trying to take deep, calculated breaths as Maggie got to her feet and rested a hand on her shoulder.
Will was already dressed in his suit for the broadcast. Still having said nothing, he strode over behind Sunny and picked her up effortlessly from underneath her arms. Sunny grew limp, like a kitten who had just been picked up by the scruff of the neck, and barely made any noise as Will walked with her out of his office, Sloan quick to follow.
"Alright, calm down, we're on the air in three minutes," he said to the, again, quieted newsroom. He made his way down the hallway and in to the control room. The handful of controllers turned around at the commotion as MacKenzie let out a quick shriek.
"Will! Sunny! SLOAN! What on earth is going on?!"
Will practically thrust Sunny, now making an array of squeaky, sniffling, hiccupy sounds as she tried to calm herself down, at MacKenzie.
"Handle this, will you, I've got a show to do."
He didn't say it in anger, or even real irritation, just matter of fact. Sunny had nestled herself in to the crook of MacKenzie's neck, now warm with tears and baby slobber, rubbing at her overtired eyes. She stared at Sloan, confused.
"I'll explain after the show?"
MacKenzie sighed. "Yes, go!"
Immensely comforted that Sunny was safe with MacKenzie, she darted back out in to the hallway after Will.
MacKenzie did the entire show swaying with Sunny in her arms.
Everyone made a fuss over a completely spent Sunny after the broadcast. She remained tucked tight against MacKenzie but smiled a few times, batting lovingly at Maggie's face as she talked softly to her. Will had pulled Sloan aside before leaving for the night, ensuring that everything was okay, which, Sloan insisted it was and that, this would never, ever happen again. Will waved her off as MacKenzie walked over with Sunny.
"Good show tonight, kid," he told her, Sunny reacting to his voice like she was so used to, blinking patiently at him before yawning hugely. Sloan nestled a hand in Sunny's hair before giving her a familiar prompt, Sunny never missing a beat.
"Good night, Will."
"Come home with me," MacKenzie whined. By the time they were alone on the sidewalk it was nearing 11. She grabbed Sloan's wrist as she went to hail for a cab. "Really, you look terrible!"
Sloan snorted, Sunny dozing in and out in her arms.
"Thanks, Mac!"
"Come on, I never get to see her during the week," MacKenzie pouted, stroking through Sunny's bangs before pressing a kiss to the little girl's nose which earned her a half conscious giggle. "You guys have clothes from the weekend!"
"Yes, yes. We'll come home with you," Sloan laughed as they both climbed in to the same cab. "But do know how this looks MacKenzie McHale. I know lawyers straight out of the depths of hell who I will hire once I take you to court for joint custody."
MacKenzie grinned as they spread Sunny across their laps. "Bring it!"
They watched the replay of News Night on the tiny screen in their taxi.