Life in sixth form at school was good. Long, hard working days, but I loved being at my new school and finding new friends. Mum was happy, doing really well with Isla and Ella down in Devon. We spoke almost every day and I spent lots of time down there with her. Isla turned two in November and her speech was getting so much better, which was always hilarious for Mum and I to listen to. I spent Christmas down there; Mum's cooking had improved a little and we had a nice Christmas dinner before going for a walk on the beach and coming home and watching Christmas TV on the sofa while Isla played with her toys and Ella slept in Mum's arms.
After Christmas and New Year, I went back up to Manchester and went back to school. Netball season was in full swing which meant I was super busy until everything came to a grinding halt by mid-January, just after my 17th birthday, when Michelle gave birth to her and Steve's son Ruairi, who was still born. I did as much as I can to help with Rosie, who was only 18 months old, so way too young to understand. It was hard when Chelle came home, without Ruairi and I tried to be there for her as much as I could, but I didn't understand the pain she felt and it was hard. I often spoke to Mum about it, she was the only person I could think of who would know that love of a mother, even if she hadn't ever lost a child.
Michelle would often come and climb into my bed in the evenings, when Posie was in bed and Steve and Liz were both down in the pub. Sometimes I would be on Facetime to Mum while she gave Ella a feed or sometimes, I'd still be sat at my desk doing my homework. We wouldn't talk, she'd just lie in my bed and cuddle up to me, or wait for me to get in. I never knew what to say to her, but I hoped that just by being there, I was helping.
The house felt quiet, a few weeks later, when Michelle, Steve and Rosie went over to Ireland to see Grandma and Grandad. It was just Liz and I in the pub and it was nice. She didn't ask me where I was when I got in late, and she didn't mind if my friends and I did our homework at the table in the back room. I helped her out in return, at the weekends, when I wasn't in Devon, or playing netball or doing homework.
When Michelle, Steve and Rosie came back from Grandma and Grandad's at the end of February, Chelle seemed much happier. She was obviously still grieving and going through a lot, but she seemed better. Steve, however, seemed more unsettled than he was before, I just hoped the two of them would be alright, for Rosie's sake.
"I'm sorry, it's too soon." Michelle was saying as I came down the stairs and went into the back room one morning, just after they got home. She stopped talking as I appeared in the doorway.
"Sorry, am I interrupting? I just need to grab something for my lunch." I asked, Rosie walked towards me and put her arms up for me to lift her.
"No, darling, come and have some breakfast too, you've got a busy day." She said as I picked Rosie up and went into the kitchen to make something for my lunch. "You know my hormones are still crashing around." Michelle continued when I'd gone into the kitchen.
"I'm just still really frightened." Steve said to her.
"I know, me too." Michelle replied.
"Frightened you know that we might get false alarms, or something might go wrong." He said.
"If we can survive this, we can survive anything." Michelle said. I think she was talking to him about trying for another baby. Chelle had mentioned it to Mum when she was on the phone to her in my room the other night.
"I just don't know what I'm feeling from one day to the next." Steve told her.
"So, you don't want to try for another baby then? Look, I don't want to do anything that feels like we're trying to replace Ruairi. And if I was to get pregnant again, I don't want to forget him." She said. This must have been really hard for her.
"I love you." Steve said.
"He's brought us closer together." Michelle told him.
"Listen we can carry on thinking, carry on talking, I'll book us a table tonight at the bistro, yeah, just the two of us, I'm sure Orla will have Pose for us, is that alright Orla?" Steve shouted from the kitchen. I poked my head round the door
"Yeah of course, I'm playing netball til 6 and then I should be back here about half past." I said before going back into the kitchen and making my lunch, which I was supposed to be doing before. I had a quick piece of toast and a gulp of a cuppa before grabbing my lunch and my school bag and heading out the door.
When I got home that evening, I expected to find Michelle stood at the bar with Rosie in her arms asking why I'm home so late. The bus on the way back from my match was delayed in traffic and it was only 15 minutes, but I know her and Steve wanted to go for dinner together. Instead, Liz was stood behind the bar and Michelle was nowhere to be seen, she must have been putting Posie to bed upstairs already.
"Hi darling, Steve's taken Michelle over to the bistro a little early. Rosie's already in bed, the baby monitors on the side there, would you mind having it? I'm on my own tonight down here until Sarah comes over." Liz said as I walked through the bar.
"Yeah of course, I'm gonna go and have a shower and then I'll be down to give you a hand." I said.
"Thank you, Orla." She said.
"I need a drink." Michelle said as she stormed into the bar a few hours later, Steve following just behind her. "They say brandy's good for shock, don't they?" she continued as she walked around to the other side of the bar. I was stood on the other side of the pub, clearing empty glasses, like Sarah had asked me to when she took over from Liz. "I'll have a double brandy." She said, hitting the bar with her hand.
"Are you sure?" Sarah asked. I caught eyes with Aidan, who had watched Michelle just walk in too. We both knew something wasn't right.
"Yeah, I'm sure." She then looked at Steve, "If you won't leave me alone then serve me a drink. Come on, your wife wants a drink, and she wants it now." She shouted at him. I put the empty glasses down on the bar and walked round to stand beside her.
"Michelle, we need to talk." Steve said as Liz appeared behind him.
"Oh, you wanna talk, you wanna talk, come on let's talk." She said. I put my hand on top of hers as she lent on the bar.
"In the back." He said.
"Why? We've got no secrets have we, not anymore, so I would much rather we do it here. So come on, Steve, talk to me. You can start by explaining how you managed to get Leanne Battersby pregnant?" she said, and a small gasp erupted in the pub. I looked back over at Aidan, by now Johnny and Jenny had heard what was going on too. A long silence followed the gasp before Michelle continued, "Yeah, Daddy two sons over here, one alive, one dead. How did you manage that secret, hey? And still keep it a secret after I lost my son. And then today, as soon as you hold son number two, then you wanna broadcast it to the whole world, have I got that right?" she said. I pulled her into hug me and she sobbed into my shoulder.
"How could you do something so cruel?" Johnny said to Steve as he stood up from his seat on the other side of the pub.
"Look, this is between you and me, we don't have to tell the whole street." Steve said, as Johnny walked towards Michelle and I and hugged us both.
"Yeah, I think you should talk about this in private." Liz said, backing him up. Michelle pulled away from Johnny and I.
"No, no, no, no, because Steve loves an audience, he's just told the whole bistro, so come on, tell everyone in here Steve, we're waiting." She shouted.
"No, not like this, no." Steve said.
"How did you end up in bed with Leanne? Did she trick you? Oh, I know, she started turning tricks again, how much does she charge these days?" Michelle shouted before picking up a glass off the bar and throwing it at him. Liz shouted for everyone to go home, and Johnny tried to convince Michelle to go back to theirs for the night. As he did, we heard Rosie's cries through the baby monitor that was in my pocket.
"I'll go, you come up and find me, ok?" I said to Michelle holding onto her hand. She nodded and went back through the bar and upstairs to Rosie's room
It was about an hour later when Michelle pushed my bedroom door open quietly and came and climbed into my bed.
"It's alright Chelle, it's ok." I whispered quietly to her as I hugged her. We stayed like that for a while, her quietly sobbing into my pillow as I stroked her hair. This was what Mum and Michelle usually did for me, and now it was the other way around.
"This is everything, everything ruined Orla." She whispered. "Where am I gonna go? Where am I gonna live?" she continued.
"It's alright, we don't need to think about that now." I said, trying to calm her down.
"We do, because tomorrow, me, you and Rosie, we're going, and we need a place to go." She said.
"The tenants have moved out of Mum's old flat, in Victoria Court, they moved back to Liverpool so it's empty. I've got a key somewhere. Mum won't mind." I said.
"Ok, first thing tomorrow, we're packing up and moving out." She whispered.
"I'm sorry Chelle, I'm sorry about what Steve did." I said.
"Oh darling, come here, it isn't your fault." She said before we both went to sleep.
In the following days, Michelle and I, with the help of Johnny and Aidan moved all of our stuff, and Rosie's over to Mum's old flat in Victoria Court. Mum was obviously absolutely fine with us staying there and after everything had settled down a bit, Michelle took Rosie down to stay with Mum for a few weeks. Johnny, Aidan and Kate kept an eye out for me, but I was so busy with school work and netball that I barely saw them.