A/N: Really short again, sorry guys, lmfao. Uhm, this is going to be ending around chapter twenty. No one really likes it and I think it has ran it's course. Be prepared for angst, feels, and all that bad stuff. Okay bye, love Anthony.
Everything was happening so fast as Loki stepped up onto the ledge with another foot; the music from the party seemed to be getting louder – he could hear 17 Crimes by AFI blasting through the window he left open. The wind felt sharper, his tears felt colder, and he swore he heard a voice behind him but, he blew it off as he stared ahead of him. His feet inched ever so slowly to the edge but, he leant back, in case he wanted to back out as he was consumed by thoughts. Someone was behind him now, though he didn't bother to see who it was or why they were there. Everyone would move on, everyone would move on. He kept telling himself mentally, and for some reason, his life never flashed before his eyes. Maybe that was a good thing; he probably couldn't handle the memories from his past bubbling up to the top. His eyes fell closed, and as he was about to throw his body weight forward and off the edge, arms wrapped around his waist and yanked him backward. His eyes flew open, his hands flailing to try to make the person let go, and fear began taking hold of him as he imagined Dixon trying to have his way with him again. He curled his pale fingers and raked his nails at the hands but, they didn't let go until he was fairly far away from his death. He whimpered and gasped for air, trying to relax himself as his "saviour" let go and moved back to let him recollect himself. The same voice from before was screaming at him but, he couldn't make out the words; he could only hear fear in them. You stupid...what were...how could...?!
When Loki's head quit spinning and he gathered himself together, he noticed the person with him was Clint, and he looked like he was about to deck the reincarnation in the face. He was pacing, hands shaking, and what seemed to be blood was dripping from the backs where Loki tore into them. He seemed too angry to care, like he cared about what he was about to do. He paused to look him directly in the eye as to prove a point before approaching, fist raised to hit him. The pale man flinched before the archer dropped his arm and sighed, keeping silent. That was practically the only quietness they got, considering the streets of New York were busy and the music was deafening. They stared at each other, neither one of them moving, just looking. Loki was standing with hunched shoulders, head down but, eyes up, not taking his gaze from Clint. He was standing with his weight on one leg, arms crossed over his chest with a hard glare set on his face. Loki knew he wasn't angry at him, just angry that he decided suicide was the last option to end his pain.
"What do you think you were doing? Do you think people wouldn't miss you? How would Tony feel? Do you not care about us anymore? You could have died, man. Remember that surprise I was talking about earlier? It was Tony, man, it was Tony, and he was coming to see you to tell you he can be with you more, now. He saw you leave into the bedroom and he was gonna follow you but, I told him not to, and I found you up here," Clint finally spoke, and when he did, it was like he wouldn't stop talking.
"You can't tell him," Loki said swiftly, a hint of plea in his voice.
"And why not? He deserves to know, Loki," Clint retaliated.
"Herregud, Clint Barton! Do you know what that would do to him?" Loki snarled, turning on his heel and going back to the fire escape.
He heard Clint ask what "herregud" meant but, he was too wrapped up in his own emotions to explain that it was a Norwegian curse which was "oh my god" in American terms. Loki stepped onto the escape, descending the stairs and getting to the room he came from. He slipped through the open window, not bothering to wait for the archer who was following behind. The moment his boot made contact with the carpeting, someone let out a sigh of relief, and when he looked up, he saw Anthony sitting on the bed nearby. He froze mid-trying to get in, eyes going wide, breathing picking up, and colour from his face draining. Tony stood, looking drained and like he had been crying, attempting to walk toward him. He would have backed up and returned to his original position on the roof, if it weren't for Clint complaining about not being inside, behind him. He completely went in, the archer following him and quickly leaving the two boyfriends alone to talk things out. Loki didn't move from where he was, feeling panic flood into him, nearing hyperventilation as Anthony moved closer, slowly, like he was trying to coax an injured fox into eating something from his hand. The taller man watched him intently, his fight or flight part of him busy with an internal battle on what he should do. Stark reached him, gently grabbing his arm and guiding him away from the window and to the bed, sitting on it as well but, not near him. He actually understood the meaning of space, and Loki thanked him for it silently.
"Loki, I'm-," He began but, Loki cut him off.
"I know, it's okay, your dad was sick, so you needed to take over the business until he was better," He told him, looking over to let him know the apology was accepted and forgiven.
"If it is okay, then why were you out there?" Tony asked, pointing to the window.
"It doesn't matter anymore," His voice was low, eyes darkening.
Anthony sighed and didn't say anything else, a sign he was letting the conversation go. It went silent, save for the noises from the rest of the flat, the room dark except for Tony's arc reactor illuminating as much as it could through his t-shirt. They sat in this silence until Tony lay back, staring at the ceiling, exhaling slowly. Loki looked at him, examining his facial features until he too, lay back but, began humming instead of exhaling. Tony stole a glance before rolling onto his side to face his boyfriend, reaching out to run his fingers ever so lightly across his stomach. The reincarnation raised an eyebrow, watching him trace invisible patterns on his skin, and going up to run along his rib bones that jutted out a bit. Seeing that it was okay for him to touch him, he went a bit further, getting closer and pushed Loki's half-shirt up his chest. Loki kept watching until Anthony was on top of him, straddling his waist, and staring down at him. His breath hitched in his throat as rough hands went up his sides, gripping the torn hem and pulling the shirt up over his head. He tensed, unsure of what Anthony was doing, though oddly okay with it considering what they had been through. Tony leant down, kissed his chest, and looked up to make sure it was alright before slipping his tongue across his nipple. Loki gasped, a moan hitching in his throat, and his back arched involuntarily against his mouth, causing his lover to smirk.
"Anthony, stop," He sighed, realising that this wasn't what he wanted and he needed some time to deal with his boyfriend just suddenly reappearing.
"Why?" The engineer whined, holding onto his hips and pressing his lips against his chest.
"Stark, enough," He growled, glaring at him enough to make him pull back and get off of him.
Loki sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, pushing his face into his hands, exhaling slowly. Sex didn't always make things better, and there was no way he was going to let Tony try to solve their problems through intercourse or whatever else he had in mind. Yes – they did have problems, though he wasn't sure how to go about fixing them right now. He ran his fingers through his hair, unsure of what really to say or do. He needed time and space in order to figure out his emotions and try to calm down. He shook his head and stood up, looking back at him with a frown. Tony was watching his every movement, looking hurt and like he didn't know what to do anymore. Denied sex so you act like I just ripped your heart out; classic Stark. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, chewing on his lip absentmindedly. He fixed his shirt so it rested on his chest properly, shaking his head and throwing his arms up in the air. He still couldn't think of something to say, so he turned and walked toward the door, opening it and going back to the party. He was suddenly stopped by the host, whose name Loki forgot, and talked at for a moment. He couldn't understand the slurred words but, he got the idea when everyone turned to look at the two.
"Thisss fag is a freak! No one wa-wants you here, Lo, s-so why not go back to Germany, you Nazi dick," The guy sneered, shoving him back.
Everyone joined in the jeers by screaming things like "faggot", "cock sucker", "shit packer", and whatever other homophobic remarks they could come up with. Tears welled in his eyes as he righted himself and backed up toward the front door, quickly leaving with Tony trying to catch up. His longer strides put him at a further distance from the flat and his boyfriend, attempting to escape the harassment that he had not expected to receive. Tears were now freely falling down his cheeks and choked sobs came from his mouth as he reached the elevator. His shaky hand was able to push the down button right as Anthony caught up to him. He whimpered and backed away, putting his hands up defensively in hopes that he would leave him be. Tony approached him slowly like before, wrapping his arms around him tightly. He attempted comfort but, Loki only tried shoving him away, crying and mentally stable enough to handle all of this at once. Near suicide, Anthony coming back, and now the things from people he thought didn't notice him proved to be too much for the reincarnated god. In the middle of his ungraceful flailing, he managed to connect his elbow to Tony's jaw, making him recoil for a moment. He jumped away and stumbled into the elevator, searching for some sanctuary but, was quickly joined by the inventor following him. He quickly shut the doors by pressing the button before Loki could run out, forcing him to stay contained for a bit until they got to ground floor.
"Loki, relax, just breathe," His worried voice filled his ears as he hyperventilated and sat on the bottom of the machine.
"I-I can't, I want...I want my brother," Loki sniffled, looking up when Tony knelt before him.
"He isn't here right now, so you're just going to have to deal with me, okay? I'm not going to hurt you,"
"No but, you might disappear again, and that's worse," He whispered, burying his face into his arms which were resting on his knees.
He couldn't handle any more people leaving him and just acting like nothing had happened. No phone calls, no texts, no emails, no letters, nothing; like they had fallen off the face of the earth and vanished into thin air. He jerked his head up to look at Tony with pained eyes, sniffling and trying to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. He sighed and slowly stood back up, trying to calm down as the elevator reached the last floor before the basement, dinging and opening its metal doors to let the couple out. He stumbled toward the doors of the building, ignoring Clint's truck and heading down the sidewalk with Tony trailing him. He doubted Clint even noticed them leave. Tony grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a stop in order to ask where he was going this time in the morning, to which Loki shrugged and stared at his feet. He listened to the other man sigh and watched him as he was pulled around the building and to the future billionaire's car. Loki's eyes ran across the Audi R8, shaking his head as the memory of his father flashed into his mind at the sight of the supped up sports vehicle. He was thankful it was dark so that if Anthony did look down at his arm, he wouldn't notice the self-harm scars from a few weeks ago and question them. That was one thing he definitely was not ready to deal with, for he was pretty sure that his boyfriend would flip.
Loki sighed and slid into the passenger seat of the car, always wondering what the huge fascination was with this type of automobile. The self-proclaimed playboy got into the driver's seat silently, starting the car and pulling out of the parking space. He started at a relatively normal speed for Anthony Stark at first until he flew down the road. Loki shook his head and stared out the window silently, watching the lights from the city fly by as they sped down the road. He let out a shaky breath and turned his gaze to Tony who seemed fixated on what he was doing, so he decided not to bother him, curious as he was. He felt like he could cry and hurt no more, like he ran out of emotions. Thor hadn't contacted him in over a month, his parents didn't either, and his friends slowly faded into the background. Steve ended up together with Phil but, who didn't see that coming? Gay man overpowering a supposed homophobe and fucking him in the end; big shocker there. Clint, as good as he might be, was still too fascinated with Natalia, and he couldn't exactly take his problems to Professor James. All he had now was Anthony, and he hoped he wouldn't lose such a magnificent man.
They came to a stop at an empty park surrounded by scattered vegetation, benches lining the pathway which led up to a small fountain in the centre. The grass was cut and looked as if it had been freshly watered by automatic sprinklers since the blades glistened under the moonlight. None of it was really breathtaking but, Loki enjoyed it nonetheless as he got out and shut the door, leaning against the body of the car. He was calmer now than before, though his eyes still burned from crying. Tony came over and grabbed his hand, twining their fingers together as he tugged him along to the beginning of the pathway. He inhaled the crisp – or as crisp as polluted air could be – oxygen as they walked, leading him toward the fountain. He listened to the crickets chirp and the nocturnal animals scuttle along the bushes, searching for food and doing what nature intended them to do. He sighed, walking a bit closer to the genius, staring straight ahead for once. He wasn't happy but, he was glad that Anthony was back and not going anywhere for a while. When they reached the fountain, they sat on the white concrete that made up the base that held the water, and Loki looked up at the sky. He watched the amount of stars he could see in the middle of New York, New York, smiling slightly at the dying balls of gas in the sky. Maybe their relationship could be saved after all.
"Do you see that star right there?" Tony asked, pointing to one ball in specific, closing one eye and smirking.
"Yeah," Loki replied, looking to where he had his finger stretched out to.
"I bought that one for you. I hope you forgive me,"
"I love you, you stupid dork," He replied, resting his head on Tony's shoulder with a smile stretched across his face.