Quotes:

Anxiety - Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. ~André Dubus
Anger - How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. – Marcus Aurelius.

"You look too pale." Hiashi frowned at Hinata, the lines around his eyes deepening as he grew more stressed, "Try to pinch some colour in your cheeks."

Hanabi gently pushed Hinata's clumsy hand away from her face and started to daub on blusher to brighten her skin. Hinata let her arms fall down to her sides uselessly, her stomach chewing itself to pieces with nerves.

The same worried thoughts kept running around her head in a circle… what if I ruin everything?... what if Naruto-kun doesn't turn up? …. what if he does, but I bore him or do something stupid? …. what if I embarrass my father? These same thoughts buzzed repeatedly in her mind, impossible to ignore, until she felt like she was one mistake away from a nervous breakdown.

She was sat in the armchair downstairs, Hanabi leaning over her to do her makeup, sweating and wringing her hands in her lap hopelessly.

Very nice to meet you, she mouthed, her face a picture of silent anxiety, I'm pleased to meet you. It's so good to meet you. Hello, I'm Hinata. Hello.

It was only when Hanabi moved away to frown at her leg did she realise it was jerking up and down uncontrollably as nerves raced through her body.

Sorry, Hinata expressed with a single, apologetic look, I am just nervous.

Hanabi rolled her eyes affectionately, shrugging, don't worry.

I'm scared, Hinata thought to herself, looking deeply into her sister's eyes, trying to convey the fear she felt with that one look, hoping and praying she would see and…

Hanabi tilted her head, her perfect, lip glossed mouth puckering in a frown. Hinata saw realisation dawn on her face a split second before she spoke.

"Father, I don't believe Hinata looks well at all." She announced, glancing over at their father, who was straightening his tie in the mirror.

Neji's eyes snapped up from the book he'd been reading. He stared at Hinata's sweaty, powdered face, her wringing hands.

"What?" Hiashi said irritably, "Well, what's wrong with her?"

"She looks as though she is feverish." Neji commented quietly.

Hinata felt a surge of gratitude for her sister and cousin.

"Feverish?" Hiashi moved towards the armchair to stare at his eldest daughter's face. She imagined she looked fairly pitiful, pale and sweating, close to tears.

He let out a half-bitten groan, glaring at her as though she was deliberately sabotaging the night with her illness.

"…Well, she'll just have to make do." He snapped, moving back to pace in front of the mirror once more, "This evening is important."

"Father, I really feel -" Hanabi began delicately.

"Would it not be prudent," Neji started to advise –

"No." Hiashi said thunderously, "She is attending this ball and that is final."

Hinata was certain, had she only the words to say it with, that she could have expressed her worry, her fears, everything, perfectly adequately. Having to sit back and watch as others argued on her behalf, others discussed what she was to do, others decided her fate… it was these times she truly wished speaking was as easy as opening her mouth.

"Go get dressed, you two." Hiashi pointed at the stairs, "I want you ready in twenty minutes."

Hanabi's face had gone slightly red in the effort of not blurting out exactly what she thought. Hinata imagined she would be grateful for Hinata's difficulty in speaking at that moment. She was mildly amused at the idea.

Hanabi managed to convey her irritation through her walk, her fists clenched at her sides; every step picked out with great care, yet stomped with fury. She was eloquent in every area, even teenage tantrums.

They reached the bedroom they shared, and Hanabi shut the door behind them quietly.

She then leapt on the bed, grabbing a pillow and shoving her face into it. Hinata watched, bewildered and slightly concerned, as Hanabi screamed noiselessly into the cushion.

She threw it aside and glared at nothing in particular, cheeks red with rage, hair messed up.

"That man," She pointed at the door, "is a total bastard."

Hinata blinked in surprise.

"You aren't ready for this sort of thing," Hanabi spat, "He's shoving you in at the deep end and, what's worse, he knows it. He's fully aware of how impossible this is going to be for you, he knows exactly how frightened you are going to be – oh… Oneesan." She broke off, looking at her sister's face.

Hinata was trying desperately not to cry, knowing Hanabi had just spent so long doing her make-up for her, so her face was contorted, her eyes filling with tears.

Hanabi got off the bed and walked over to her sister, holding her forearms gently. She smiled sweetly, brushing her hair off her shoulders.

"Come on, oneesan. I'll do your hair, and we'll put our dresses on together afterwards, OK?" Her voice was soothing.

Hinata closed her eyes, the bedroom light shining through her lids brightly, tears still clinging to her lashes.

She nodded in agreement.

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"I'm going to screw it up." Naruto said to his reflection, which nodded back to him.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, turning onto his side to glare at Naruto from the bed, "While I definitely agree with you screwing it up, you owe her. You can't just not show up."

"Why not?" Naruto pulled at his shirt collar, certain it was too tight, "People do it all the time. It's a normal thing. If I go, I'm going to embarrass myself or upset her again and… argh, I can't do it, OK? I suck at this stuff. The… the standing around and talking to people politely stuff. I suck."

"You are a complete imbecile." Sasuke informed him.

Naruto just nodded, not bothered by the insult at all, "I know, I know. That's why I shouldn't go."

"Just stay quiet," Sasuke got up from the bed and straightened the bowtie Naruto had left loosely dangling from his chest, "Don't insult or offend anyone. Use the social skills you were supposed to learn as child. Yes, no, please, thank you? Any of that sound familiar to you? Common courtesies. Don't ask personal questions. Ever."

"Argh, this is gonna suck!" Naruto's hands came flying up to cover his face as he groaned, muttering, "Hinata-chan's nice and cute but I don't know her that well and if we get separated I'll have no one to talk to and what if I'm wearing the wrong clothes or something cause I didn't exactly get a dress code in the mail if you think about it I'm being emotionally blackmailed into coming here –"

"Dobe." Sasuke snapped. "Shut. Up."

"Oi, Naruto!" Kushina burst into the room, camera in hand, Minato beaming behind her from the doorway, "Lemme take some pictures of you two in your suits!"

"Mooooom…" Naruto groaned, a picture of teen angst as his mother swooped upon him, shoving the camera in his face, "It's not prom or anything, it's just some ball thing."

Sasuke, who knew to be smarmily charming to his best friend's parents, merely smiled stiffly for a photo, allowing Kushina to pinch his cheek in delight.

"It's not just a ball," Kushina lightly hit Naruto on the head with her fist, prompting a dramatic "ow!" from her son, "It's being hosted by the Hyuugas. That's a big deal, isn't it?" She directed her last question to her husband, who nodded in response.

"There'll be a lot of important people there, for sure." Minato agreed.

"So, what if I mess up?" Naruto asked desperately, "What if I insult someone rich and famous or I break something?"

Minato took a step around his wife and put a calming hand on his son's shoulder, "Don't stress yourself out before anything's even happened. Just be calm. It's just another party. Sasuke's going with you, so you aren't going to be alone. The time to panic's after the worst has happened, not before, so just focus on getting ready and looking handsome for this Hinata girl."

"A Hyuuga," Kushina sniffed, "Should've known he'd have high standards with women. Gets it from his father."

"Aw, she's not… I'm not… we're just friends!" Naruto whined, his cheeks growing red.

Kushina put her hand on his other shoulder and her face drew level with his, her expression serious.

"Woo her, son," She said solemnly, "She must be richer than the Queen."

"I don't really like the implications of what you just said…" Minato laughed, his expression a tad uncomfortable.

"What? We're hardly pimping him out to the highest bidder, I'm just saying, she might be marriage material!"

"Well, we're not exactly strapped for cash as it is, no need to push him towards looking for a rich spouse. That, and he's only sixteen…"

"We aren't going to spoon-feed him all his life, he's going to need –"

"Stop talking," Naruto said, his face scrunched up, "I'm going to the party now and I don't need this crap making me more nervous than I already am."

Kushina immediately scolded him for swearing (however mild it might have been), and took several, proud photos of his embarrassed face and wrinkled suit.

Sasuke brushed his own suit down and briefly held a pose for a picture of him and Naruto, baring his teeth in his own, embarrassed version of a smile.

"Should I go, though?" Naruto suddenly questioned, turning back to the mirror. Sasuke groaned, "I look stupid. And Hinata-chan probably won't even be there."

Kushina cuffed him over the head again.

xxxxxxxx

The ride over had been quite surreal. Her dress had been too tight at the waist, and hurt as she bent over in the car, feeling sick rise in her throat.

Hanabi's hand had been firmly on her knee, a comforting constant in the jerky ride of flashing street lights and nausea.

Neji had sat on her left, his frown a touch more concerned than he presumably would have wanted to show.

It had rained, and the droplets had looked like diamonds on the car windows against the dark night sky.

Now, they stood outside the grand old building the ball was being held in, the brisk air doing nothing to soothe Hinata's stomach.

Hiashi strode forward to the entrance. Hanabi linked arms with Hinata and started to follow him, carefully holding her dress up to avoid puddles. Neji automatically fell a step behind them.

There were crowds of people outside the building, lining up patiently to wait, umbrellas dotted about here and there to shield the guests from the rain. Thin women with high, aristocratic cheekbones pulled shawls around themselves, shivering slightly. The men straightened ties and fiddled with their cufflinks.

Hiashi strode to the door, where two huge suited men stood, arms crossed. They lifted their (wholly unnecessary) sunglasses to peer at the Hyuuga guests and instantly stepped aside to allow them in when they recognised them.

Hinata clutched Hanabi's arm and stepped inside.

Parties usually had pounding music and roaring laughter, but the events her father hosted or attended were always the same.

Everything was dressed in dull colours, the tablecloths were eggshell, the filmy banners were beige, and there was a band of skilled musicians on a small stage made up of more suited men. Hinata's sharp ears caught the sound of violins playing and her fingers twitched for her own instrument. A lone woman sat in the middle of the band, plucking idly at a harp, looking very much as though she was there purely for decoration.

The music was soft and soothing to her ears and the conversational babble that surrounded them was full of polite noises and coughing, as opposed to the traditional party noise – shouting and screaming, as Hinata had feared.

Her feet moved to follow her father, her dress swishing about her ankles, Hanabi's hand in the crook of her arm a warm reminder of the support she had with her. Neji followed at her heels.

xxxxxxxx

Hanabi still hadn't let go of her arm, her little fingers gripping tightly as if to prevent her older sister being washed away by a high tide. Neji stood next to them, holding an empty glass of wine up to his lips, not taking his eyes off of his cousins.

Hiashi was talking to three men, all a little older than him, all listening intently to his lecture. Every now and then he glanced over at his children.

Hinata had nearly thrown up upon realising what the ball had truly been held for.

When a lady reaches an age in which her father considers her eligible to be introduced to the public, say, sixteen, he will take her to an event to display her looks and disposition to all who attend, as a sort of advertisement.

For marriage.

It was a coming-of-age ball. She'd only realised it when several men had approached her with the intent of asking her to dance, only to have Neji snap at them to leave, to her immense relief.

That meant the whole event was for her. The champagne towers, the white flowers on every table, even the band of musicians… it had all been arranged for a pleasant evening in which Hyuuga Hinata would be judged by the public and either approved… or found wanting.

Hinata stood at the back of the room with her sister and her cousin by her side, half-hidden by a white canopy and a large vase of flowers. Her eyes flicked around the room constantly, her hands clasping her dress tightly.

"It's fine," Hanabi said soothingly, "You don't have to dance with anyone."

Naruto hadn't come.

Though she'd feared he wouldn't, deep down, perhaps the part of her that admired his smile and his happy-go-lucky personality, had completely believed he wouldn't let her down.

She was alone.

The crowds bustled around, a few people casting the Hyuuga trio curious glances. Every casual look burned right through Hinata down to her core. What were they thinking? Was she wearing the wrong type of dress, was she sweating, could they read the insecurity and doubt on her face?

Her stomach was tying itself in knots and all she wanted to do was disappear, to sink through the floor and go home, anything to get out of this tight dress, this massive room full of people who were clearly judging her every move.

Hanabi suddenly slipped her hand into her purse and pulled out her phone. She leaned into her sister, whispering in her ear, "How are you doing?"

Hinata took the phone, understanding what she wanted since they had played this game many times before. Hinata had discovered she was very, very fast at typing, almost as fast as talking aloud.

'I'm coping. I have invited a boy from our school to attend. Do you think Father will mind?' She typed the message, Hanabi's frown increasing with every word that appeared.

"Are you actually trying to get him to blow up?" Hanabi asked, seemingly scandalised.

Hinata shook her head, biting her lip until she taster copper. She certainly wasn't the type of teenage daughter she had seen in films and read about in books – the kind of girl who enjoyed upsetting her parents, pressing their buttons for the fun of it. She had seen her father's vulnerable side too much to exploit that. His only weakness was his grief, and she would never use that against him.

"Hinata-san," A cool, cultured voice rolled out from her left side. A quick, startled glance revealed that the man who spoke was around eighteen, had shoulder-length brown hair tied back and the traditional cloudy Hyuuga eyes, "Would you care to dance?" She could not recall his name, but he was definitely a distant relative.

Neji put a hand on her shoulder, just casually enough to look like a spontaneous gesture but also soothed her nerves. She gave him a shaky smile, seeing the skin around his forehead tightening into a heavy frown, his mouth a downwards curve of displeasure. Sometimes, his subservient nature made her ache for his lost sense of freedom.

Hinata inclined her head, subtly wiping her sweating palms onto her dress, taking a step forward and feeling her knees tremble.

"He- He- " She started, feeling the dreadful blockage in her throat, her legs trembling even more. Neji's hand tightened on her shoulder. Hello, she thought desperately, and a picture of Naruto's smiling, encouraging face filled her mind.

The man's polite smile froze as she struggled visibly.

Her father's face… she caught a glimpse of it, the thunderous anger… she couldn't breathe again, it was happening here of all places, her chest tightening and her knees shaking to the point of almost giving way.

"My sister isn't feeling very well at all," Hanabi cut in, stepping in front of Hinata, "I'm afraid she is entirely incapable of any vigorous activity."

But her father's angry face was stuck in her mind, so she shook her head and stepped around her sister, offering her hand to the man, her face red. Her breathing had settled down but her stomach was still in bits. She didn't want to be an embarrassment, she couldn't let her father down on a night that clearly meant everything to him.

It was no one's fault but Hinata's that she was deficient as a daughter. Everyone knew she was incapable of speaking, of entertaining, hosting, making speeches, and that Hanabi, her younger sister, was more suitable as their father's heir. It tortured her to think that she let her father down every day by not being like her little sister.

The man smiled and took her hand. The band were playing a slow song, so as they walked to the space where countless couples were twirling around, Hinata frantically worried over having to dance while pressed against the stranger.

Her anxiety was almost worth it when she caught the approving nod her father gave her as she walked past, her dress swishing about her ankles. She half-turned her head and saw Hanabi's open look of concern and Neji's irritation.

The man's hand moved to her hip and the other clasped her sweaty hand without hesitation, as the music swelled to a crescendo, and he began to steer her around the floor.

"So, Hinata-san," He said conversationally, "I hear your father is thinking of expanding his business into other countries."

He – he wanted to talk about her father's business?

She simply nodded jerkily, feet moving unsteadily almost in time with the music. He moved with an almost bored air, his eyes fixed at some point beyond her shoulder.

They danced, the music picking up the pace. One of the lights blinded her as they spun around and she stumbled over the hem of her dress. The man tightened his grip on her waist and heaved an aggrieved sigh. That's when Hinata looked at her father and realisation hit her.

Her father was watching intently with the same men from before, his face betraying his annoyance at her slip up.

He hadn't – he hadn't sent this man to dance with her, had he? He hadn't forced him? The man must have come of his own accord, knowing the whole ball was being held for her…

Hinata bit down on her lip, closing her eyes, no longer caring about keeping up with the rhythm of the music. She was dancing with a man who had been sent by her father. It was little more than an arranged date, and just as belittling.

Hinata can't speak for herself. Hinata cannot defend herself. Hinata needs guidance, protection, to be followed around by her cousin to make sure she does not get in trouble. Hinata needs her father to hold a ball and to have suitors ordered to dance with her, because she doesn't have the charm, the charisma, the eloquence, to catch a man's eye. Hinata doesn't have a voice.

Hinata is useless.

Her stomach felt like it was tearing itself apart and her knees had begun to shake once more, to her horror. If she slipped now or stepped on his foot, surely she would –

"Um, excuse me?"

The man halted in his swaying movements, Hinata's face hitting his chest as she failed to stop moving quickly enough, shocked by the voice she had recognised.

Naruto was in a dark suit that was slightly too big for him, the sleeves extending slightly over his wrists, the jacket far too baggy to look fashionable. His bowtie was bright orange with teal stripes. In his hand he held a bouquet of drooping red roses. Beneath her shock, Hinata found herself wondering if he knew what red roses meant when given as a gift to a lady.

Sasuke stood behind him, looking dapper in his own tailored, expensive suit. His posture was relaxed, he managed to look completely at home in a ballroom filled with the richest people in the country and yet detached from the situation, uninterested in his surroundings. Hinata envied him that ability to simply not care what anyone thought of him.

Naruto looked bashful in his suit, pulling at his bowtie – why was he wearing a bowtie with that kind of jacket? – and smiling, "Can I have this dance?" He asked brightly, holding out his hand.

Hanabi appeared at Hinata's elbow as though summoned, Neji at her heels as always. She smiled at Naruto, "I will take those on behalf of my sister. What a lovely bouquet!" She exclaimed, charming as ever. Only her sister could hear the amusement in her voice.

Naruto beamed at the compliment and handed them over.

Hanabi immediately gave them to Neji, who blinked at her in mild confusion.

"Kenji-san!" Hanabi smiled at the man who Hinata had danced with, "Would you give me the honour of this dance?"

"This is most irregular." He complained, but allowed himself to be tugged away by the younger girl, who gave Hinata a tiny, subtle wink as she left.

Neji sighed, raising his eyes to the heavens, holding the bouquet with an expression of utmost distaste, "Your sister is a law unto herself," He declared, scowling at Naruto for no discernible reason.

Hinata felt her knees grow steadier and took Naruto's hand cautiously. Her father was watching with teeth-grinding fury as his daughter spurned the suitor he had picked for an unknown teen in a baggy suit and a poorly chosen bowtie.

"Hi, Hinata-chan," Naruto whispered as he wrapped an arm around her waist, clearly having no idea what he was doing. He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she intercepted it, holding it with her own. He gave her a grateful smile, "Sorry I'm late."

Hinata shook her head, smiling coyly.

"You look beautiful." He said absently, but with obvious sincerity. After a moment in which they gazed at each other, frozen in shyness and not knowing what to do next, Naruto placed his chin on her shoulder and began to inelegantly steer her around. She let out a shaky, relieved laugh, feeling comfortable for the first time that night, and copied his awkward movements.

Sasuke gave Neji a sideways glance and smirked, "Want to dance?"

Neji blanched, gripping the flowers tighter and turning away.

Come now Neji, don't play hard to get.

ARGH, writing this chapter was so insanely hard for some reason. I've no idea why, but I have been sapped of all inspiration and will to write as of late. I hope this chapter isn't too terrible.

I'm so very unwell right now, my everything hurts.

Would anyone mind suggesting a song for Hinata and Naruto's first ever dance? It can be classical, it can be modern, anything you think suits them :)

Btw, my darlings, I think this song suits Hinata very well:

You've got the words to change a nation but you're biting your tongue

You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid you'll say something wrong

If no one ever hears it, how we gonna learn your song?

So come on come on, come on come on

Yes, I watched the Olympic closing ceremony, Emeli Sande is indeed awesome! :D

I think feeling like a disappointment, a burden, can be very damaging to a person's self-esteem. Hinata considers herself inferior to her sister, is ashamed of being higher in station to her much more capable cousin and feels as though she can never live up to her father's expectations. In canon, Hinata would often give up on training (before Naruto's influence changed her), and so I think here, she has already given up on trying at being the heir because she thinks it better to not to try only and yet fail, but to never try at all to shield herself from that failure.

I would have loved to have Naruto sweep in on a white horse wearing an expensive suit and dance a fox trot over to Hinata, challenge Kenji to a dance off, win, punch him in the solar plexus and begin to flawlessly waltz with Hinata.

Buuuuut… That's not Naruto XD

I figured this way, with his bright bowtie (that he chose himself!), wearing his dad's suit, he would be more endearing and like himself.

Split POV chapter next, I reckon, if I've planned it right. I probably haven't.

Quick poll for fun: Is there any book/film/anything that everyone else seems to love but you hate? Explain your reasoning why you don't like it, please :) If you also have something you love that everyone else hates, tell me about it, please!

No suggestions for you, Glen Coco.

(for example, I really don't like twilight, but it is insanely popular. Sigh)