"Orla, are you ready for tomorrow?" my netball coach asked me at the end of our training session the day before the Manchester Thunder coach was coming.
"Yes Miss." I said.
"Make sure you get a good night's sleep, no wild parties tonight, no sleepy eyes on the netball court tomorrow." She said. I nodded in agreement before saying goodbye and going to the changing rooms and grabbing my stuff. I got my bags and went to the bus stop to go home. Robert was getting Rosie and Raffy from the childminders today so had offered to get Isla and Ella for Mum as well which meant I didn't need to worry about that. Although, I did have a text from Michelle on the bus on the way home to go and pick my coat up from her in bistro before I went home. I had had my tea there with Mum last night and must have left it behind.
I got off the bus and walked towards the bistro. There was an ambulance pulling up just outside, probably for someone inside. I carried on walking, hoping Michelle wouldn't be too busy to just give me my coat so I could get home. By the time I reached The Kabin, the paramedics were talking to someone on the floor outside the bistro, it was only when I got closer, I saw it was Mum. I ran towards her, almost dropping my bag on the floor as I did.
"Hi, this is my Mum, Carla Connor, is she ok?" I asked.
"Orla, come." Michelle said. I'd run straight past her and hadn't even seen her. I stood beside her, and she put her arm around me as we watched the paramedics try to help Mum.
"She's got kidney failure." I said, Michelle turned to me, absolutely speechless, "she's on medication but it isn't working. I don't know what it's called." I told the paramedics. Michelle didn't say anything, I think she was too shocked. We both just watched in silence as the paramedics put Mum on a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance.
"Only one of you can come with her, I'm afraid." One of the paramedics said.
"Orla go, I'll go get the car and meet you there." Michelle said before kissing my head and taking my school bag from me as I got on the back of the ambulance behind Mum.
The ambulance ride to the hospital felt long despite the fact I knew it was only ten minutes down the road. Mum was still not really conscious but the paramedic in the back of the ambulance was reassuring. When we got to the hospital, I followed them through the corridors to a bay on A&E. I text Michelle as the paramedics and tried to explain where we were. Doctors and nurses all surrounded to help, even shutting the curtain at one point so I couldn't see her. Michelle arrived just as a doctor opened the curtain and Mum sat up in bed with a cup of water in her hand. Michelle and I both thanked the doctors before going to sit down beside Mum, Michelle on the chair and me on the edge of the bed. Mum pulled my head into her and kissed the top of it.
"I'm sorry for scaring you Orla." She said quietly. "I should have listened to you, when you told me to go back to the doctors."
"Yeah, you should have done. Carla, why didn't you tell us?" Michelle asked.
"I don't think it's the time for those sort of questions Chelle." I said politely. Michelle nodded in agreement. "I just wish there was more that I could do." I said turning to Mum. "I had a blood test, I've got Dad's blood, sorry Mum." She kissed my head again.
"Orla, you didn't need to do that." She said.
"Mum, if I could have done it, I would trust me." I said. We stayed like that until the doctor came back. She said Mum's kidney function was down more than they'd like that she needed a transplant, sooner rather than later. I wished more than anything in that moment there was something I could have done to help, but I had Dad's blood type, not Mum's. Isla and Ella were too young, Johnny couldn't, not with his MS, the next options were Kate and Aidan, maybe Michelle. She agreed to be tested while the doctor was in the room. But if none of them were a match, it could be years before they found someone, Mum might not have that long, so we needed to tell people fast.
While Michelle went and got the car, I text Kate and Aidan and asked them to meet us back at ours, as well as texting Robert to say sorry for the delay, I'd come and get the girls when I got back. Michelle came round and picked us up and drove us back home. I'd completely forgotten until we got home about tomorrow. It was almost 10pm, so much for a good night's sleep. While Michelle took Mum to the flat, I went up and got the girls, who were both fast asleep. I quietly took them home and put them in their beds. Aidan and Kate had arrived and while Mum told them about her kidney failure, I got in the shower. I was still in my school PE kit. I said goodnight to everyone before going into my room and getting into bed.
I didn't sleep though. I lay there for ages, until I heard Mum say goodbye to Michelle and shut the front door and then a little while later, her shut her bedroom door. When she did, I got out of bed and turned on my desk light. I sat down and started to do some homework. If I wasn't going to sleep then I may as well do something productive. I must have only been sat there for half an hour before Mum came in, shutting the door behind her and wrapping her dressing gown around me. I was so tired, I didn't realise how cold I was.
"Come on, my girl, into bed." She whispered, helping me up from my desk and taking me to bed. She tucked me in before going around and getting in the other side. I cuddled into her and she gently stroked my hair, which always sent me to sleep.
In the morning, I showered and got dressed into my netball dress and trainers, throwing my school hoodie over the top. I packed my school bag and had a coffee with Mum and the girls before leaving to get the bus to school. I felt like a zombie, I was so tired. I had slept last night but I was restless and every time I woke up, Mum would have to stroke her hair to send me back to sleep. She hasn't had to do that for years.
I nearly missed my stop on the bus on the way to school, I was so preoccupied with everything else going on. Luckily, my friend Poppy tapped me on the shoulder as she was getting off. I went to assembly and then to my first four lessons. Everywhere I went, everything I did, I felt like there was a fog around my head, my brain, stopping me from thinking about what I was supposed to be doing.
"Orabella Connor am I speaking to a brick wall this morning?" my maths teacher shouted across the room. One of my friends, Olivia, nudged me.
"Sorry miss, what did you say?" I said.
"Orabella, who is your tutor?" she asked.
"Mrs Pullen." I answered. She was also my netball coach, which was helpful.
"Ok, I'll give her a call, I think she needs to come and have a chat with you. This behaviour, ignoring me, not doing any work, it isn't like you." She said. But my mind wasn't registering what she was saying. I just nodded and went back to thinking about Mum. That was until there was a loud knock at the door of our maths classroom.
"Orla, come on." I heard Mrs Pullen's name say from the back of the classroom. I turned around and saw her stood talking to my maths teacher. I stood up, picking up my books and followed her out of the classroom. "We're going to have a little warm up, the coach will be here in an hour or so." She said. I followed her away from my maths classroom and up to the sports hall. I felt like I was in trouble. I don't think I'd ever been pulled out of a lesson before, but I knew why my maths teacher did it. She knew I was better than ignoring her and not doing any work.
"What's going on?" Mrs Pullen asked as we started chucking a netball around when we got to the sports hall. "The Orla Connor I know wouldn't be in this mood about one training session." She said.
"It's not about the training session Miss." I said.
"So, what is it?" she replied, still throwing the ball back and forth to me.
"My Mum, she's got kidney failure, she needs a kidney transplant." I told her. "She told me at Christmas and I've had a blood test and I'm not a match. She collapsed last night; she was in hospital until late."
"That explains why you're feeling like this." Mrs Pullen said. "Does she have other options for a donor?" she asked.
"Yeah, my aunts and my uncle. They're gonna get tested as soon as possible." I told her.
"That's good then. But let's think about today. On that netball court, no one is thinking about what happens off the court, you know that." She said. "I want you play today like it's the last time you'll ever play. Like someone has just told you that netball becomes non-existent tomorrow, and you'll never get to do it again, ok?" I nodded. "And then tomorrow, tomorrow we will face everything off the court, do you think your Mum would agree with that plan?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah she would." I told her.
"Come on then, let's do a few laps to warm up." She said. She was right, I couldn't let what was happening off the court affect what happened on the court today.
The week after, Mum was back in hospital after passing out again in the Rovers this time. This time, there was no hiding who knew, everyone was there, in the waiting room when I got there after school. I was still scared, but less scared than I was last week. Aidan had agreed to be a donor for Mum after finding out he was a match that morning.
The doctor, the same as last week, came out and told us the transplant needed to happen as fast as possible, Mum had picked up an infection and her body couldn't fight it. After she explained, we were led through to see her.
"Hey my girl." She said as she pulled me into her, and I perched on the side of her bed. She apologised to Johnny for not telling him and Aidan told her the good news. Johnny and Michelle reassured her that Isla and Ella were ok, they were with Robert and could be with them for as long as she needed. Kate was helping out as well as Jenny. "Hey, today was the big day, wasn't it? Did Mrs Pullen tell you what Manchester Thunder said?" she asked as she stroked my hair.
"Yeah, they've offered me a place on the team next year." I said. Everyone in the room cheered as Mum stroked my hair and kissed my head.
"I'm so proud of you Ora." She said. We stayed a while longer before a nurse came along and said we had to go. "I love you angel," she whispered as I kissed her cheek.
"I love you Mumma, be strong." I whispered back.