Quotes:

Hinata: He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sakura: For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Previous chapter recap: Sakura explains to Gaara about her past, how she met and befriended a man called Kimimaro and how he died. She explains her suicide attempt, but falls out with Gaara when he claims Orochimaru killed his father. Furious, she goes to the office and searches through the files. She finds information on Kimimaro and realises he was a killer. She becomes enraged and smashes up the office. Zaku catches her and hits her, locking her up. Sakura manages to call Hinata for help, who comes and saves Sakura, but at the last minute, Sakura falls down the stairs.

She became aware of soft material underneath her fingertips. She instinctively twitched them, breathing in deeply. Her mouth was dry and the back of her head was stabbed all over with little ice picks of pain. She turned her head, feeling cushioned and weightless.

She opened her eyes to the sight of her parents.

Her mother's head was resting on her father's chest, the both of them sleeping quietly on the chairs at Sakura's bedside. Her mother's hand was clenching a tissue. Even in his sleep, her father's face was lined with worry, a deep frowned etched between his brows.

Her mother was dressed in her work uniform, her shoes kicked off onto the floor, one of the rubber soles torn slightly.

A flicker of dark blue passed through her peripheral vision. She could see the blurred outlines of doctors and nurses moving behind the frosted glass of the window. Frosted glass. She was in a private room in her mother's hospital.

She could hear quiet murmuring outside the door, a male's firm authoritative tones battling with a woman's stern voice, before she cut herself off and the door opened.

Kabuto entered the room, putting his card back into his pocket as he did so. He looked startled upon seeing Sakura awake and even more so after caught sight of her sleeping parents.

Sakura was dismayed to find she didn't have the strength to throw anything at him and so had to settle for a truly poisonous glare.

To his credit, he actually looked baffled.

"Get. Out." Sakura gritted out between clenched teeth, feeling her legs flare up in pain.

"Is this a hormonal thing?" He whispered, looking amused.

"No, it's an I want to fucking murder you thing." Sakura yelled out, both her parents awakening with a jolt.

"Sakura!" Her mother was already awake and fumbling around, her face twisted in anxiety before she saw Sakura in bed, awake and alive. She slumped back in her seat, her shaking hand covering her face. Her father had stood up automatically and now seemed to notice the stranger in the room.

"Who are you?" He asked, subtly placing himself between the man and his family, "Sakura isn't well enough for visitors right now."

Kabuto gave the two of them a pointed look, "And what are you –"

"My dad," Sakura said flatly, "And my mother, who happens to be a nurse. So we've established that they are well within their rights to visit me. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Language." Her mother snapped.

"I heard you had an accident," Kabuto shifted uncomfortably, both parents drilling holes in his head with their glares, "I wanted to see that you were alright. I'm also well within my rights to be here, given that my boss owns this hospital."

He flashed his card again, offering it to Sakura's father, but her mother's hand flashed out and snatched it immediately. She examined it with a frown.

"Orochimaru. That's right. But how do you know my daughter?"

"And how did you know I had an accident?" Sakura sneered at him, amazed at his gall. Accident, when it was his lackey that caused it!

"I met Sakura here, of course," Kabuto gave a mild, inoffensive smile, "We got chatting. And seeing as Orochimaru-sama has plenty of his own people working in the hospital, I was told pretty quickly about your admission."

"Mum. Dad. I want a word with Kabuto in private." Sakura said firmly.

They argued, of course, but eventually left the room to obviously lurk nearby in case Sakura shrieked or sneezed or something. They'd both engaged their overprotective modes.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" Sakura snarled at him, struggling to pull herself into a sitting position. He moved to help and she nearly bit him.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about." Kabuto replied, deadpan.

"I am in here because of you!" Sakura said incredulously, "Zaku hit me and took away my cane – said he was going to get you and locked me in – a friend had to come get me and I fell down the stairs because I couldn't walk properly."

Kabuto froze.

"Zaku did what?" He asked, icily calm.

"I messed up the office and he – he –" Sakura stammered to a halt, shocked by the look of pure fury in his eyes, "He took my cane and he hit my legs – what the hell!" She tried to twist away as he pulled back the covers to examine her legs.

"Bad touch!" She tried to smack him as he ran clinical, dispassionate eyes over the matching bruises on her shins.

He pulled the covers back and suddenly, gently, turned her head around to get a look at the back.

"You needed stitches." He said, still unnaturally calm.

He took out his phone and began to talk quietly into it, "Tayuya? Abumi Zaku. Yes. Thank you. Hm, as much as possible. No, slowly. Good. Thanks again."

"Is Tayuya an enforcer?" Sakura asked shrewdly, watching his back freeze again.

"Too clever for your own good." He sighed. He knelt down by her bed, ignoring her flinch, "I'll be honest with you. I shouldn't be here. I came here for you. It was unprofessional. But you can see – I don't wish you harm. I didn't know Zaku would go so far. I only asked them to keep an eye on you and to call me, should you become a liability. You are swiftly becoming too much of a problem for me to ignore," He looked her in the eyes, smiling sadly, "I told you what our company does is not legal. We are not a nice, safe happy place for you to work in. We are criminals –"

"Before you give me your villain speech," She interrupted, "Call Tayuya back and cancel the hit on Zaku."

He stared at her for a long moment before laughing, "You are full of surprises. He could have killed you!"

"Yeah," She shrugged, "But he didn't. He's a creepy little fucker but if you think I'm gonna sit here and let you kill someone than you're stupider than those glasses make you look."

Kabuto's chuckle evolved into a deep, throaty laugh.

He patted her head, "Please. Don't ever change."

He dialled Tayuya's number again.

"Yeah. Cancel that order. Oh really? That's fast work," He said approvingly, smiling. Sakura cleared her throat, glaring, "Sorry, my moral compass is complaining," Kabuto chuckled, not looking sorry at all, "It can't be helped. Just the arms, you say? That's enough. Doesn't matter. He's not the squealing type."

When he finished talking, Sakura was calm.

"Should I be expecting a visit from Tayuya anytime soon?"

"What part of 'I don't wish you harm' do you not understand?"

"'Don't'" Sakura quoted, her gaze steady.

"It's quite simple. I like you. Don't mess up and you'll be fine. Mess up and you won't."

"Well, how about this?" She leaned closer, "I quit."

"You can't." His smirk widened.

"Fuck you, you don't even pay me enough!"

"Of course I don't," He shook his head, "But I can up your pay if you like."

"I won't work with you. I don't want to be a scientist. I don't want to work for Orochimaru anymore."

"Oh? What brought this on?"

Let's see if he remembers, Sakura thought. She said clearly, enunciating perfectly, "Renal cell carcinoma,"

"Kidney cancer –" He replied automatically.

"Complications. Pneumonia."

"What? Sakura, I –"

"Ka-gu-ya!" She yelled in his face, "Kim-mi-ma-ro!"

Kabuto's face turned blank in shock.

"That's how he died. You must remember. A poor little orphan boy that no one wanted. The kindly Orochimaru took him in and raised him as his own. The little orphan grew up to be a hitman. Until he got sick and was no longer considered useful. He died in this hospital." She wasn't surprised to find tears gathering in her eyes but continued to glare him, daring him not to remember, to not care, "He died alone."

"You… you met Kimimaro here?" Kabuto was recovering from his shock quickly, gathering the pieces of information together.

"He was my best friend," Sakura said coolly, "Then he died. I thought Orochimaru was the shit because of Kimimaro. I thought he must be so kind. After Kimimaro died, I thought about looking him up. I actually daydreamed," She laughed through the tears, "about living with him, thinking how cool it would be. But I was wrong. I found Kimimaro's file. I found out what he really did. So I trashed the office. Zaku caught me. You know the rest."

"I quit." She said emphatically.

Kabuto was silent for quite a while after that, just standing at her bedside and staring at the wall. He finally seemed to come back to himself and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Do you know why Kimimaro was brought here when he fell ill in prison? Because Orochimaru arranged it. He has several friends in the medical business, you see. He has quite a bit of control over the hospitals in this area. Your mother works here, doesn't she? Do you think she'd find a job easily if she lost this one? Even if she was discharged for say, theft or endangerment of patients? What if she lost her licence to practice medicine? Do you think her career would ever recover?"

"I tell you all that," Sakura said quietly, "and you still threaten me. Do you know how I broke my legs? I tried to kill myself. I always thought it was the easy way out, you know, but it turns out when you've got to get in the car and ignore the seatbelt for once and turn the key in the ignition and every second feels like your last, it's not quite so easy? But I did it. I wanted to die. You don't wish me harm? I swear to you, threaten my family or anyone else I care about again, and I will kill myself. Hell, I might give Tayuya a call, seems like a fun gal! Does she give discounts to her fellow employees?"

Kabuto very deliberately put his hands either side of her head and leaned into her personal space, "And what makes you think I'd leave your family alone if you killed yourself? You don't think that would make me angrier? I'm impressed that you suggested it, though. Makes me think picking you was the best idea I ever had."

Sakura seethed, furious beyond words.

"I will drive you to work from now on. You'll work every hour I tell you to and you will do it with a smile. You'll also tell your admirably suspicious parents that I am a nice man. You don't walk away from Orochimaru corp. What did you think would happen?"

"Oh, I dunno, that you wouldn't turn out to be insane maybe? What am I supposed to do about school?"

Kabuto gave an insouciant shrug, "You don't need it. I've seen your grades. You'll do fine even with absences."

"Oh?" Sakura said, desperately struggling for the upper hand, "You want to drive me to work yourself, you show up here when you hear I'm hurt, you've stalked my grades, sounds to me like you've got a crush!"

Kabuto's eyebrows flicked upwards.

He remained silent, his head cocked curiously.

"…You aren't denying it." Sakura said, thoroughly freaked out.

"I said I'd be honest with you from now on. Call me when you get out of hospital."

He turned to leave.

"Wait, I left my phone in the office!"

"Oh?" He gave a wicked smile, "Shall I bring it to you tomorrow?"

"Fuck no! Post it to me. I'm certain you know where I live by now, you fucking stalker."

Once again, Kabuto did not deny it, he merely chuckled and left the room, leaving Sakura feeling furious, panicked and completely drained.

Her parents demanded to know who he was. Sakura could only weakly respond, "A very nice man."

xxxxxxxx

Her driver had called the ambulance, in the end. He'd been disturbed beyond belief to hear Hinata's voice screaming, especially when he followed the sound to find she was holding an unconscious, bleeding girl.

The paramedics and the police wanted her to answer questions but her mouth wouldn't open. She was surrounded by flashing lights and strangers and it was all she could do not to faint.

At her written suggestion, the police had called three people. Her father and her grandmother did not respond. The last picked up immediately, the psychiatrist Sakura had recommended.

Her name was Tezuka Rin and she was calm and efficient. She sat at a desk with Hinata and quietly, competently coaxed answers from her. When Hinata finally managed to name Sakura, Rin had looked shocked. Then there had been a flurry of phone calls, harried looks and endless glasses of water placed in front of her.

Eventually Rin returned, her smile a little smaller now, her face white from stress or lack of sleep. She sat back at the other side of the table, still clad in her pyjamas, dressing-gown and slippers. She didn't seem embarrassed about her attire.

"So, you're the girl whose grandmother wanted to pay me for my services," Rin's smile was a little brighter now she was looking at Hinata, a little bit more compassionate, "I'm sorry we had to meet under such circumstances. The police say you may go home now, if you wish, but I wondered if you might want a chat? Your father has been notified of your whereabouts, but it will take him an hour or so to get here."

Hinata could only nod, her mouth dry as paper.

"From what your grandmother told me, I believe you may have social anxiety disorder –" Rin broke off, bemused, as Hinata began nodding emphatically. That was exactly what Sakura had said. " – but I'd like you to come by my work sometime and fill out a questionnaire so we can really see how you feel, OK? If it turns out that, as I suspect, your anxiety is severe enough to impact your life, I'll see if I can arrange some cognitive behavioural therapy. If we begin to see results with that, you probably won't need medication. If not, then we'll try a course of tablets mixed with CBT. The most important thing about anxiety is that it won't go away. Not unless you do something about it."

Rin's smile was encouraging now, "You start out small. You take a short walk with someone. You go down to the shop on your own. You catch a bus with a friend and then, when you're ready, try it alone. Take little steps forward and work your way up. Build your confidence and soon you'll be able to do things you would never even try before."

"The biggest –" Hinata began and then fell short when she accidentally made eye contact. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She gestured to her mouth, "p-problem is… speaking."

"I understand." Rin said. Hinata opened her eyes and saw the gentle expression of empathy, and believed that she truly did. "Speaking requires confidence in what one says. It's very difficult for people with no assurance of themselves."

"Have to, um, make a speech." Hinata swallowed, hard, a lump in her throat and a leaden weight in her stomach.

Rin's eyes narrowed, "When?"

"A month."

The older woman took a breath, considering, "How many people?"

"Lots."

"Can you do it?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you didn't say no," Rin gave a real smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners, "just remember this – no matter what the consequences, if you feel you aren't up to it, even if it's ten minutes before you're due to make the speech, you absolutely have the right to stop. Pushing yourself before you're ready will not help you. Only you know your limits, Hinata. If you do what frightens you, you will conquer your fear. If it helps, I believe you can do it."

Hinata was rendered speechless beyond her usual norm, incapable of even thinking of a response. This woman, this stranger, believed in her. She trusted in her without knowing anything about her. The knowledge filled her core with a strange warmth, someone believed in her. And she thought of Naruto's bright smile and Sakura's trusting eyes, and she nodded once more.

I can do it, she thought with something like wonder.

xxxxxxxx

The next day she is at school and is swiftly accosted by Naruto.

"Hinata-chan!" He says her name like praise, beaming. Sasuke follows behind, unsmiling but not unfriendly.

"Naruto-kun." Hinata responds, realising in disbelief that she is not blushing, her voice did not tremble and she feels nothing to chastise herself for.

"What are you gonna do after school?" Naruto wiggles his eyebrows up and down merrily. Hinata laughs, feeling a pleasant thrill at the sound of it.

"Sakura is in hospital," Hinata said very carefully, watching his eyes widen at both her speech and what she was saying, "I am – I am going to visit her." One stumble. She didn't immediately rebuke herself for the minor failure as she normally would, by contrast, she felt her smile widen.

"Look at you!" Naruto exclaimed, not a hint of condescension in his voice, just pure pride, "Talking so easily! Knew you could do it. But did you say Sakura's in hospital? She's that angry girl, right? The one who called me a bonehead. You mind if I come with you?"

Hinata just smiled shyly, watching an answering smile blossom on his face. Sasuke rolled his eyes, unseen by both of them.

A redheaded boy suddenly steps forward near them all, drawing their attention immediately. Hinata thinks he looks like a punk with his bright red hair, tattoo and eyeliner. She eyes him with no small degree of wariness.

But when he speaks, he is surprisingly eloquent, "I'm sorry, did you say Sakura? Did you mean Haruno Sakura?"

He was looking at Hinata, but she felt herself shrink back from his unfamiliar gaze. Naruto came to her rescue.

"Yep! She had an accident. We're all gonna visit her in hospital later." Naruto said brightly. Sasuke opened his mouth as though to complain, then shut it without a word.

The redhead's jaw tightened, his frown deep and severe, "What kind of accident?"

"She fell." Was all Hinata could offer, but it seemed enough for the boy.

He shook his head bitterly, "This is my fault. I did this."

"You pushed her?!" Naruto's eyes grew comically wide in horror.

The boy looked at him with utter disdain, "No."

"Come with us." Hinata suggested, biting her lip when his pale eyes landed on her.

"…If you wouldn't mind," He nodded, "I'm Gaara, by the way."

"I'm Naruto!"

"H-Hinata."

"Hn."

"Oh and that's Sasuke-bastard."

"Naruto."

"No, that's my name."

xxxxxxxx

Sakura is asleep when they arrive, her eyes bruise-black from tiredness, her face as pale as the pillows surrounding her. There is an expensive-looking cane resting against the wall in the corner, made from black beech wood, the handle silver-plated with a beautifully engraved leaf pattern.

Hinata examined the label that was attached to the handle. To replace what was lost, K. X

Of course, Sakura's cane had been stolen… Hinata swallowed at the memory of that horrible, dark night.

Sakura's parents had been in before them, but had allowed them in on the condition of being very quiet until she awoke on her own. Rest was very important for her recovery at this stage, her mother had said.

Gaara sat down next to Sakura's bedside, looking ten years older with the weight of his guilt and grief. Hinata knew he blamed himself unfairly and planned to relieve him of his fears.

Luckily, Naruto and Sasuke quickly grew uncomfortable, having only met Sakura once, and hastily suggested they go eat in the canteen, leaving Hinata alone with Gaara and the sleeping Sakura.

"Why do you blame yourself?" Hinata asked very softly, keeping her eyes on Gaara's knee, not quite yet capable of making eye contact.

"I upset her greatly that day. She did this because of me." He stared at Sakura's unconscious face for a while, then buried his own in his hands.

Hinata shook her head, "No, it was an accident. I was there."

Gaara's head snapped up, "What. Happened." He demanded.

So she told him. Her voice often wavering, she had to stop many times until she regain herself, but she told him everything that she knew, the events of that night. She told him of receiving a call from Sakura out of the blue, of being nervous but answering it regardless, then of the dawning horror she had felt at hearing the other girl's cries and how helpless she had felt, never so acutely aware of her own powerlessness until that moment. She told him of how she managed to rouse her family driver, direct him towards the car and program the address Sakura had named into the GPS. She told him of how the building had seemed nondescript, anonymous, yet her throat had squeezed at the sight of it. She told him of finding Sakura on the floor, in pain and afraid. She told him of every painful step until they were outside and then, just when it seemed as though Hinata had accomplished something, Sakura fell.

Throughout the story, Gaara's expression had warred between emotions, horror, distress, anger, shock and finally rage had won out and he stood up, growling, "Who did this to her?"

"Oh settle down, Tarzan, go comb your dreadlocks or commune with your animal buddies," Sakura's scratchy, hoarse voice suddenly sounded out. Hinata and Gaara both jumped, "Jane is just fine. It's just a bump on the head. And you left out the many, many times in which I nearly wet myself that night." She winked at Hinata, who flushed.

"Just a –" Gaara cut himself off, looking incredulous, "Sakura, what the hell were you doing in that building in the first place?"

"It's my secret evil lair. I was planning world domination. That's code for 'mind your own fucking business."

Gaara looked furious. Sakura pulled herself into a sitting position and then her eyes fell upon the cane. She looked uneasy, "Could one of you grab that for me, maybe?"

For all his looks of annoyance, Gaara still nearly killed himself getting to the cane first just so he could be the one to give it Sakura. Hinata surrendered the claim with bemused ease.

Gaara read the label and frowned before passing it to Sakura, who did the same. She gave an emphatic groan and dropped her head back on the pillow.

"Who's it from?" Gaara asked.

"Secret admirer." Sakura replied, looking exhausted.

Gaara looked furious again.

"Are you alright, Sakura?" Hinata spoke up, not allowing herself to blush as they both gazed at her.

"Hmm? Me? I'm dandy. What about you?"

Hinata told her about Rin's offer, how they were going to get the bus together and have a day out, see what Hinata could manage.

Sakura made a sour face, "Oh God, her. You poor little dear. Don't let her bully you."

Hinata was surprised, "She seemed very nice to me."

Sakura eyed her grimly, "Seemed, Hinata. Beneath that professional exterior lies pure evil. Beware."

The room's awkward silence that had remained between every word since they had arrived was broken by Gaara's sudden, genuine laughter.

Sakura gave him a look of pleased surprise, and he in return gave her a fond smile and somewhere in Hinata's mind a lightbulb came on and she thought, oh. And it didn't matter that Sakura had looked so very tired before, that the stitches in her head had caused Gaara's eyes to narrow in anger and concern, or even that there were bad men somewhere out there who had hurt Sakura, because in that moment, they were completely and uncomplicatedly happy.

xxxxxxxx

Thought No 116

I'm alive and that in itself seems like a blessing.

Lock up your kids cause Kabuto's roaming the streets! Such a creepy dude.

Is it advisable to call hitmen up in front of workers? Nope. Does Kabuto have any fucks to give? Also nope.

Hinata is getting better! ~~

Hope you guys liked this chapter! :D

Quick poll for fun: What is the best meal you have ever eaten?

No suggestions.