I leaned back in my seat and watched as L and Light bounced up the stairs to make their speeches. A smile played on my lips as Light looked at me as if to ask if I had something to do with the strange man that followed him up. I'd been doing my best to play devil's advocate between the two of them, the power I had over the situation was almost intoxicating, but at the same time it choked me. In the end I honestly didn't know who to route for, Light was my childhood friend and crush, but he had been crueler lately trying to use my love for him as a means to get information. Most of the time I saw through it and said it was confidential but other times he made me protect him without even knowing I had been. The manipulation just grew over time, and I had let it slip that he had already met L the other day.

To make matters worse the fact that both L and Light's father knew how close we were. Light's father, of course doesn't suspect him or me, but L is less faithful. He stares at me different now as if he needs to be cautious around me. The fact I came to see him when I knew the surveillance cameras were up didn't help either.

I shifted in my seat and tune out Light's speech and stare at him hopelessly, I knew he was going to be the death of me. But the stupid emotional side of me bids me on with every stupid mistake I make. It's so convincing, muttering promises that I can bring the old Light back, the one that tried so hard to do good and cared so much for the world. This Light had bendable morals, everyone was tool to him and it was his right to use them in the sake of this better world, so he could be "god".

I watched as L followed closely behind Light and watched as his expression turned to shock. L had dropped the bomb and told him his identity. I watched them walk back over to the seats next to mine and leaned over to Light and elbowed him childishly.

"Nice going Light! I'm so proud, my little boy all grown up."

He gave me a frown as if calculating my words as I spoke then returned my fake goofy grin.

"You really buckled down on your studies to get in here too didn't you, I didn't even tutor you and you almost scored perfect." I saw L's eyes flash towards us both, but then moved back to the ceremony in front of us.

After things were finished we walked together with Ryuk, Light was so good at ignoring him, but I guess he would be since he follows him around all day. Whenever Ryuk saw me he'd pull at my hair or beg me to bring him more of the canned apples my foster parents were so fond of. Today he was focused on Light though. And we both watched as L said good bye to Light feeling as if we had been watching a soap opera.

He walked back to his house in silence as Ryuk desperately tried to bargain me into convincing Light to make a stop at the grocery store. Once invited me in I accepted feeling something had been wrong with Light. I nodded and joked with Sayu as she called us the Touou couple but Light just remained silent until we reached his room.

"DAMN HIM! HE PLAYED ME LIKE A FOOL!" I blinked at his sudden change of tone. Ryuk seemed to hold the same expression I had.

"He played you?"

"L you bastard I've never been so humiliated in my life!" Ryuk stared at him baffled and before I could even speak he asked.

"Why not do the eye exchange and kill him?" He was met with silence and I shook my head.

"What if it isn't L? Then the real L would know Light's Kira." When I spoke Light turned to me slowly in realization.

"Segumi is he?" I gulped and looked away from him.

"I'm not sure." I said half honestly, Ryuk smiled at the predicament and flew to another spot in the room to get a better view of things.

"Not sure?" he looked like he was about to break. "NOT SURE?" He stood and was gripping on to my wrists madly. He looked like he was about to kill me and I stared him dead in the eyes.

"I've never met him before I started working on the case, who knows how far ahead of things he is!-"

Lie

"There's no way of me knowing it's actually him"

Lie

"He acts like I imagine him to but he could be a talented actor."

Lie

"Then it's worth the risk, isn't it- Ryuk I…"

He was cut off by me hugging him tightly as if my grasp on him would stop him. "Don't do it.." Light told me about the eye deal I thought he had known better not to waste half of his life span but this, this was ridiculous. "Selling half your life away just to kill someone is so selfish. I don't know what I'd do without you. What if I'm wrong do not throw your life away for this Light, please." I felt a hand on my head and looked up to see Light smirking down at me, and I looked away. "Use his offer, get closer to him, I always thought you two would get along. If you hadn't found that thing you'd be probably alongside with us." I pulled away unsure of how to feel at Lights calculated glances at me. Then he smirked again and began this horrible sounding fit of laughter, the only way I could describe it was as if he was a cartoon villain.

"Perfect," he smiled at me "Your right to over react to this would be futile Segumi, the existence of 'Ryuuga' is definite proof that he has nothing on me. There is nothing to worry about. The only thing going on here is a duel of wits"

"Glad to help" I muttered remorsefully as I left his room. I could only take so much of seeing Light like that, it wrecked me every time I had to bargain with the killing of someone who tried to stand against him. The FBI killings were the worst to hear about watching Light grin at me as I stared in wonder at the horrible schemes he told me about and wanted me to get involved in too. He was treating me as if I was a lacky, I needed to stop this. I needed to stop holding on to that fleeting dream that Light would miraculously come back to being my Light, and drop Kira. It wasn't going to happen.

I sighed as I walked outside and tried to breathe, tomorrow, I had decided, I'd tell L everything, I'd stop this charade and just admit my emotions stopped me from doing my job. I shuddered at the thought of what he might think of me after telling him but tried to shake it off.

This had to end.

Hi all sorry about the long wait for this chapter…. Originally I was going to do every chapter/episode of death note after when the first one took place but I lacked the motivation to do so. I wanted to wait until around the time Misa shows up in order to get some plot moving, So I did a time jump between chapters but it only gets better hopefully from here on out.

Rates and Reviews are warm welcomed!

-Sami