Sports can do die. In a hole. Where no one can find them. Ten feet under the earth.
Feliciano bugged me into playing a game of badminton today. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do.
He called to me while I was reading under a shady tree. "Fratello! Fratello! Come play with us!" He wore his dopey grin and flailed his arm around trying to get my attention.
"Ugh, I don't want to Feliciano. Leave me out of this." I didn't even have to look up to know who was all in the game. I could hear from their statements.
On one side was of course Feliciano with his two closest friends, a german kid who looked way to buff to be human named Ludwig and an odd japanese boy who said weird stuff when he hit the birdy like "For the honor of Otosan!" named Kiku. On the other side was the always annoying Antonio and ridiculously loud and obnoxious friend Gilbert, another german and apparently brother to Ludwig. When he hit the birdie, he shouted "I AM AWESOME!" On the sidelines, cheering/taunting people, were Antonio's other friend, some creepy french kid name Francis (REAL original name there), a girl making fun of Gilbert whom he called Liz (I have a feeling that's just a nickname, though), and cheerleader of Feli's team Bella.
"Si, amigo! We need uno mas player on our side!" Antonio shouted, before hitting the birdy again. I only sighed. But when I looked up, and saw Feliciano's expression, I couldn't say no. He looked really sad seeing my by myself. I got that "someone's pitying me" feeling again, and stood from my spot and walked over.
"Fine, idiot." I merely said, as I took the last racket. "But don't expect anything good out of this." Let's just say athletics weren't exactly my strong point. Feliciano served the birdie way too hard, and it came towards me. I hadn't anticipated it, so I ended up holding the racket in front of my face and it bounced off back over the net. Antonio laughed as it came back to him and the game went like this for a short while. However, I ended up doing a lot less work than I thought I'd need to. It was like always, they pressured me into doing something and they ended up forgetting I even exist.
I stood in the background, hearing the familiar chants of the the players and the hollers of the sidelines. Elizabeta, it turned out her name was, kept trying to make Gilbert mess up, laughing boisterously when he did. Bella kept going "You got this, Feli!" and every time he hit the birdie, he shouted "PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" in honor of his favorite food. I sighed at the sight in front of me. Being social was exhausting and pointless seeming.
At one point, Antonio looked back and remembered I was in the game, so he let the birdy go to me a couple of times. I actually managed to hit it, which I guess felt good or something. Although, one of the times Feliciano hit the birdy too hard, and I mean WAY too hard, and it went really far behind the court. So I walked over to go get it. It landed just past this one overgrown tree, whose roots tripped me upon trying to walk past them. I fell on my face/arms as I tried to anticipate the blow of the ground. I landed with a profound "Oof!" Looking up with a groan, I saw the birdie was right in front of my face, so I grabbed it and stood up, dusting myself off.
Turning back to the game, I saw they had resumed playing with a new birdy. I had been completely disregarded. I wasn't important to them. They didn't need me. I dropped the birdy on the ground, feeling something I had never truly felt until now. Lonely. Excluded. I knew then why Feliciano always wanted to have me do stuff. He didn't want me to feel this way. Yet he just let me go, off to the side, and be completely forgotten. It reminded me of us as children. How Feliciano was such an adorable child, drawing and singing all day long. He was a charmer then, and remains to be one today. I used to observe this from afar when we were little.
I became angry. How could I expect to matter to them?! I didn't enjoy being with them in the first place, yet I kept getting dragged into these situations and feeling this same feeling time after time! I picked up the racket I had dropped upon tripping and bent it over my knee in an attempt to snap it. I stormed back to the tree to get my book, and from there went to my dorm. As I left, I heard only one word, from the person who always seemed to notice first I was missing. I don't know if he said it seeing me walk away or realizing I wasn't standing behind him.
"Lovino?"