I know this is a short chapter and I've left you all on edge but fear not things will come together in the last chapter. I just wanted to write a chap from Angel's point of view.

I hope you enjoy this and if there's anything you want to say back to her nows the time. Leave a review :)

Chapter 14- Angel

Angel's P.O.V

You know I'll never understand it . . . how I ended up being the unluckiest bitch on this god forsaken earth. I will never truly understand why bad shit happened to the people I love. And to make it so much more poetic I usually have to watch them suffer until they just fade away.

I never gave a shit about my own life. Even when I was little trapped in a cage I didn't care about myself. I have mentioned before it was hope that kept me alive. . . well it was hope that I would find someone that would love me because I grew up having the family that was suppose to take care of me shit on me and beat me down to nothing but an empty shell. If it weren't for the voice yea I'd probably be there or dead. It did give me the strength to get out but not to live.

Really doesn't make any sense does it? I could care less if I dropped dead at the moment I am scared though that I'll leave behind people that did need me. But does that really matter? Have I ever been able to protect people I love? I can't remember if I had.

When Axel dragged me out of that dark alley by that broken down bar that had been feeding me vodka all night. He snatched me away from the booze that I relied on now to make all the pain go away, except that night it was going to be permanent. I didn't wanna go with him I wanted to die. I know I'm a piece of shit now but at that time I was nothing. No good to anyone.

And you know I thought. . . I thought after he took me in and gave me a home, taught me to hold myself out of the water no matter what, and how to live . . . I thought I had purpose. I thought I was helping. Trying to make the place I came from in that fucking cage never exist.

I'll never forget the day I got pushed out of the nest and sent onto my first battle field. To be honest it was exciting. There was nothing like the blood flying and the gunshots replacing the enemies lasts screams before they died. It was like playing Russian roulette . . . that was until the side I was standing on started to shed blood. I back tracked trying to get all the men injured off the field. Almost died my damn self-trying.

Half the team died that day. . . and I'll never forget the man who lost his legs and took it own life soon after. I carried him out. . . shit I carried his legs on my shoulder hoping somehow Chad could give him them back. I didn't help anyone that day.

When I was trying so hard to save them it didn't bother me, felt right. I mean all the blood and gore. It wasn't till after I got back that it really hit me. I couldn't have one thought without hearing them pleading for me to shoot them. All the screaming and crying is still back in my mind somewhere.

Yea that shit bothered me and I turned back to the bottle because it made life livable. Who would've thought at the time the thing that almost killed me in the first place would become the only thing that could save me time and time again from myself.

Men kept dieing every time we went out and finally I accepted the fact that I couldn't save everyone. No I believed that I could save the lives that mattered. The ones that really did deserve to live and fight another day.

Lunar . . . if anyone ever deserved a full life it was him. I'd trade places with him any time because I knew he could lead the group, keep them alive and safe, teach them how to be better people themselves even in this fucked up world. Not like me . . . I'm not worth the air I breathe. I don't deserve Sully's or Daryl's love and to anyone out there who admires me. . . well you're just fucking stupid. I couldn't help a fifteen year old girl put down a god damn cigarette, all I had to do was put it down myself and she would've followed me. Jade deserved to live she was such a sweet girl who believed there was good in everyone.

And then I couldn't look before I shot and killed a little innocent girl . . . Everyday I go down the list of people I couldn't save that really did deserve life . . . Lunar . . . Sunny . . . Jade . . . Laurie . . . Sophia . . . Dale . . . T-Dog . . . Tiny . . . Andrea . . . god only knows whatever happened to her. Then I think about all those men I fought with. No I wasn't close to them but they were good people. I can't even remember their names but I'll never forget their dieing fearful faces not knowing if they were going to heaven or hell. Not knowing if they had made up for every wrong they had done. All their faces scared into my mind as real as the ones that scatter my body reminding me that I've let down too many people because I wasn't quick enough . . . that I wasn't good enough.

You all know what I fear. Mistakes have always had a bad way of repeating themselves. Yea you learn from them but it doesn't make you untouchable to them . . . and I sit here now my car not going fast enough and Sully's face is only getting paler by the minute. The bite was so deep I knew it shortened his time.

I had pushed him away and hurt him so bad. I thought that would save him from the bullshit that never seems to stray too far from my side.

I love Sully with all my heart, I always did . . . even now. He took care of me and kept me happy back in the day. Yea he wasn't there when Jade died but I wasn't there for him either. I was drowning myself while he was trying to not lose it himself. We were a very tight knick family. We grew up together in orphanages for a long time. And when we were going to get separated Sully wouldn't allow it to happen so he got a job and took care of all of us on twenty dollars a day.

I still think about what him and me could've been if I never went to that bar and if Axel hadn't taken me away. Where would him and me be now?

But none of that means anything anymore . . . not even the necklace still laced around my neck after all these years. You think it means anything to this world? With these god damn tears streaming down my face, my foot pressed to the floor, Serenity crying in the back seat . . . and Sully trying to gain more time singing lowly with his hand laced around mine so tightly believing this was the last few moments we had together.

I know two things are going to happen. If we get to the base and there's nothing there I'll shoot him and then myself because I am not going back to Sammy and Jewel and telling them I let Sully die! And if Chad can't help him I'm blowing the whole goddamn place up with me and him both inside.

Daryl I know I said I'd come back . . . but I can't live with Sully's death over my head. After all the things he's done for me I at least owe him another chance to live and be more careful next time. There's been too much death and loss in this world anyway.

There is no god or heaven because what kind of motherfucker would let all this happen? One cold son of a bitch I never want to meet.

. . . The days are only going to get darker and I'm not standing alone to see the end . . .