Disclaimer: Chapter 4 and I've still got nothing to my name, including this franchise. Especially this franchise.
4.
It's the first time B.A.'s seen Murdock in anything reminiscent of a suit. It's only a white t-shirt, a sports jacket and an awkward ascot, but it's a far cry from his scuffed jeans and fuzzy flannel shirt du jour. If B.A. had been anyone else, he might've complimented Murdock on his attire (you dress up kinda nice, fool), but B.A. has a reputation and it certainly isn't going to keep itself.
"Take that scarf off, man," he growls, nudging Murdock with a beefy arm, "it's disrespectful."
Murdock snorts, patting the elaborate knot of fabric around his neck and fixing B.A. with an electrifying example of evil eye. "Brother Ignatius," he drones, eyebrows raised so high his forehead looks like an accordion, "I have brought over fifty souls to the good Lord today; dare you begrudge me my ascot?"
B.A.'s own brows, in silent protests, sink down over his eyes and settle there, darkening the scowl etched his face. "My name's Bosco, Murdock," he corrects, folding his arms over the heavy gold cross on his chest. True to form, Murdock is unfazed by the peacocking and offers B.A. a polite yet haughty yawn.
"Really, my good man?" he inquires, his voice crisp and drawling, "You would have me believe that warm-hearted, organ-playing man of God I just witnessed was not the good Brother Ignatius Blacktop?"
B.A. wrinkles his nose. 'Brother Ignatius Blacktop' gets more absurd every time Murdock repeats it and he's already tired of playing church. "Murdock, man, can you just do something for me?"
It's Murdock who actually answers him—not ascot-wearing evangelist Harry Dean Hanover—and for that B.A. is quite briefly thankful. "Oh, Bosco, you know I can, could, should, would and will do anything and everything for you—I can even turn myself invisible, if that is what you so desire—"
He manages to get as many words out thanks to the sheer rapidity of his speech. B.A. is quick to interrupt, barreling in as loudly as possible. "Shuddup, fool! All I want is for you to take off that damn bandana!"
Murdock's deflation is barely noticeable, and momentary at that. He claps both hands over the knot of his scarf in feeble protection, and B.A. prepares himself for an unintelligible stream of high-pitch protests.
What he gets instead is a face-full of Murdock, bright-eyed and leering. "Oh, come now, Brother Ignatius" he drawls, his sonorous change of accent just as quick as his about-face, "at least let me sell you an indulgence, because it is a sin to look as good as you do."
B.A. is ashamedly stunned for almost a full second. He makes up for his moment of weakness by hauling Murdock out of the church, ascot-first.
NB: Inspiration for this unholy mess is found in season 4, episode 5 "The Road to Hope". Also found in the episode: Murdock's hair, a ridiculous amount of hobos, and B.A.'s crazy organ-playing skills. I'm not lying, I promise.