TARDIS, inside the Vortex

The "glass" jars and fixtures inside the crystal column of the Time Rotor rose to the top and started vibrating, stuck in place. "No…no…no…no," the Doctor swore quickly and ran around the six paneled control console, spinning knobs, flipping levers, and smashing buttons. Nothing he did could get the Time Rotor moving again.

"It's not supposed to do that, is it?" Hermione asked needlessly.

"Don't worry… I can fix this," the Doctor replied hesitantly. "I think," he muttered under his breath. He grabbed Hermione by the arm and dragged her to the navigation panel. "I need to make some quick repairs. When I tell you to, turn this green knob clockwise," he told her before scampering off the platform. "Jack, I need your help," the Doctor called out to his old friend.

Jack sauntered over and stood next to the Doctor under the transparent aluminum platform. "How can I help, Doc," he inquired.

The Doctor pointed to a series of pipes that ran from the console to a hole in the floor near their feet. "I need you to use your Vortex manipulator to monitor the anti-chronon flow," he instructed. "Let me know if it goes higher than 2.4," he instructed.

Jack flipped back the leather cover and held his left wrist next to the pipes. "Ready when you are," he told the Doctor. "And I mean that it more ways than one," he added with a come-hither look in his eyes.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and took out his sonic screw driver. He changed the settings and shoved it into a tangled bunch of wires. "All right, Hermione, turn the knob clockwise," he shouted. Hermione did exactly as she was told and a fountain of sparks surrounded the Doctor. The sparks were followed by a loud mechanical groan for somewhere deep in the TARDIS.

Hermione ran across the platform to look down at the Doctor. "Are you all right?" she asked her boyfriend.

The Doctor poked his face out from the underside of the controls. Black soot was smudged across his nose and cheeks. He looked quite cross. "Did you turn the green knob?" he asked accusingly.

Hermione met his stare with a cold one of her own. "Yes, I turned the green knob, just like you told me to do," she responded.

"Well, I meant the blue one," the Doctor told her, as if she should have known which one was the correct one.

Hermione stamped her foot and turned on her heel. "Honestly, Doctor!" she swore before storming back to the navigation panel. She found the blue knob easily and waited for the Doctor to tell her to turn that one.

When the Doctor brought his head back under the platform, he found Jack laughing at him. The Doctor didn't say anything and went to work on repairing the wires he had just shorted out. Eventually, his curiosity got the better of him as Jack continued to chuckle. "I know I'm going to regret this, but what's so funny?" he asked.

Jack pointed to where Hermione was standing. "I'm glad to see you finally found a girl who will stand up to you," he replied. Jack's smile got bigger as he snapped his fingers. "I finally figured out who she reminds me of," he stated.

The Doctor was really curious now. He pulled his sonic screwdriver out of the wires as he said, "Go on."

Jack made a dismissive wave with his right hand. "Just someone I was friends with before I joined the agency. She was just as strong willed and bright as Miss Hermione up there," he relayed. "She was actually the one who taught me to shoot and her recommendation got me into the agency," he told the Doctor. "I never did figure out why the agency put so much stock in an archeologist's opinion, but they did," he said. Jack noticed a small smile starting to form on the Doctor's faith. "She was a really good friend, even if she did have really strange tastes in men," he added.

"Let me guess, she refused to sleep with you," the Doctor responded.

Jack held out his hands wide. "Exactly," he replied. "I mean… come on, who can refuse this perfect package?" he asked rhetorically. "She always said her husband wouldn't approve," he told the Doctor, who was smiling even more. Jack glanced up to where Hermione was standing and silently wished she was wearing a mini-skirt instead of blue jeans. "Hermione reminds me of a young River Song," he finished wistfully, missing his friend. River was one of the few people he could remember after the Time Agency wiped his memory.

The Doctor stepped forward and put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "That's because she is the younger version of River," he explained softly.

Jack's eyes went wide and he looked back and forth from Hermione to the Doctor. "That means…" he started to say and then held a hand up to his mouth in surprise. "You're the husband she was talking about," he blurted out. It never even crossed Jack's mind that it could have been someone else. Once the Doctor came into your life, if you were smart, you would never let him go.

"We haven't reached that point yet," the Doctor informed him and took a step back.

"But you will at some time, won't you?" Jack pressed.

It was the Doctor's turn to look up at Hermione. "Someday… yes, I believe we will get married," he whispered. He poked his head out from under the platform again. Making eye contact with Hermione, he smiled at her, letting her know he was sorry for his outburst. She rolled her eyes, but matched his smile with one of her own, her anger melting away. "Turn the blue knob counter-clockwise whenever you're ready. I think it was just a problem with the stabilizers," he told her and then ducked back down to where Jack was.

Jack rushed the Doctor and hugged him fiercely. "Please let me be your best man, please…please," he implored. Jack let go and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Or… I could be the maid of honor. I would look fabulous in a bride's maid dress," he stated without a hint of sarcasm.

********DrW********

Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey

Catheus Dreggs prowled around the Muggle homes cautiously. He had been sent by the Dark Lord himself to see why the three previous Death Eaters assigned to keep watch on the boy had not reported in. Dreggs had his wand out and had already placed some all purpose wards around himself in case one of Potter's supporters should get it in their heads to attack him. He never saw the young woman who snuck up behind him with all of the skills of veteran commando. The last thing Dreggs remembered was his head being pulled to the side by his hair and a sharp blow to where his neck joined his shoulders.

Ginny Weasley slid the unconscious Death Eater to the ground gently, not wanting to alert one of the few Muggles still left on Privet Drive. When she was sure no one was coming out of their little homes to investigate, she dragged her enemy to a shed in the back of one of the many homes for sale. She grabbed a roll of duck tape and tore off a strip long enough to bind his hands and then another to bind his ankles. A smaller strip covered the Death Eater's mouth, but left him room to breathe through his nose. Ginny propped her most recent prisoner up along the back wall of the shed, next to three other Death eaters, similarly bound and gagged.

Ginny looked down at the roll of tape in her hand. She looked into the eyes of the Death Eater she had ambushed first. "I think this stuff must be how you humans end up taking over the galaxy. It's wonderful," she stated. "If Voldemort sends any more of his goons, I'm going to need another roll," she said absently. The Death Eater flinched at how easy she spoke the Dark Lord's name. Ginny laughed at him. She had run into a few Death Eaters since Dumbledore's death and each time, Voldemort's follower ran like someone had dropped one of Hermione's water proof flames down their pants. It was only after she had captured one did she learn the Dark Lord and made her off limits to everyone and had threatened them with unimaginable pain if they should hurt her. It was a side of Voldemort she had never guessed was there. She wondered if perhaps there was more of her father in Voldemort than he suspected. Ginny's head turned sharply when she heard the unmistakable rising and falling noise of the TARDIS arriving. She looked back down at the Death Eaters. "It's been fun guys, but I have to go now. My Dad's here," she explained and waved at them before shutting the shed door.

The doors to the TARDIS opened and Ginny watched her brothers Fred and George peek around the door frame. "Yeah, Doctor. This looks..." Fred said.

"... like the right place," George finished. "I think that house down at the end of the street is where the Dursleys live," he shouted back into the control room.

"It is," Ginny confirmed while walking towards the TARDIS. "Now get out here and give me a hug you two," she ordered.

The twins scampered out and raced towards their sister. Jack wasn't far behind. "You'll never believe where we've been, Sis," Fred blurted out.

"We were on a space station and then we hopped over to a Cyberman ship where the Doctor let us put our not so insignificant talents to good use," George added.

Jack smirked as he looked at the young, redheaded woman. She was just as attractive as her brothers in Jack's opinion. "Sister huh?" Jack asked rhetorically. "Any chance I get the three of you in some sort of 'family package' deal?" he inquired, upping his production of pheromones as he walked over to them. "It will be a weekend that you'll never forget and could probably make a lot of money writing about," he offered.

Fred and George glanced from Ginny to Jack and back again. They knew their sister had a bad temper and hoped she wouldn't be too offended. They were relieved when she only rolled her eyes instead of hexing Jack. "Sorry, I was taught not to accept offers from strangers," she replied.

Jack smiled his million watt smile and offered his hand. "I'm Captain Jack Harkness," he said, introducing himself.

"Ginny Weasley," Ginny replied and shook his hand.

Jack held on to her hand for just a moment longer than was proper. "Now that we're no longer strangers, what do think about my offer?" he purred.

Ginny smiled at him and Jack thought he saw a flicker of mischief similar to her brothers' dance in her eyes. "What do you think, Dad? Should I take him up on his offer?" she asked the person standing behind Jack. She skipped past Jack and placed a kiss on the Doctor's cheek.

Jack did a double take when he saw her kiss the Doctor. He then shifted his gaze over to the twins, drawing the wrong conclusion about who their father was. Jack thought about what his closest friend had done to the Family of Blood and half a dozen other enemies. They had only threatened to wipe out humanity. Jack, on the other hand, had just propositioned the Doctor's kids. As a father himself, he knew what was probably going through the Doctor's mind. "I am so screwed," Jack muttered.

There was an uncomfortable silence until the Doctor started to snicker. The snicker turned into a chortle and then an outright guffaw. "In all the years I've known you Jack, this is the first time I've ever seen you embarrassed," he laughed. After a moment, the Doctor got himself under control. "What Ginny does with her love life is her business, all though I think her boyfriend might have some issues with your proposal," he told Jack.

Jack ran his hand through his hair, giving himself time to collect his thoughts. "How about the boys? You're not going to hand me back to the Master for hitting on your sons are you?" he asked.

"He's not our Dad!" the twins said in unison.

Jack pointed a finger at the twins and then Ginny, trying to make sense of things. "I was adopted by the Weasleys," she filled in the missing part of his equation.

Jack perked up immediately. "Is that so," he said suggestively and winked at the twins.

Ginny shook her head and looked over at the house she had come to think of as a P.O.W. camp. "You can try and seduce my brothers later. We have less than half an hour before we rescue Harry from that filth," she informed Jack.

George put his hand up to his forehead in mock distress. "I can't believe our little Ginny could even think of uttering a sentence like that," he sighed. "What has the youth of our community come to?" he bemoaned.

Fred pretended to look thoughtful for a moment. "Of course, our 'little' sister is actually older than we are and an alien to boot," he reminded his brother.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that part," George replied. "Carry on," he suggested to Ginny with a smirk.

Jack smiled at the banter between the siblings. He winked at the twins again and focused his attention on Ginny. He dropped his Peter Pan boyishness for a moment and became serious. "The Doctor mentioned an abusive foster family. What exactly are we talking about here?" he inquired.

Hermione had joined the group standing in the bushes watching the Dursleys' house. "Harry doesn't like to talk about it, but he's been my best friend since we started Hogwarts," she told Jack. "Over the years I was able to get out of him that they forced him to live in a cupboard under the stairs for most of his life. They made him do all the housework since he was old enough to hold a broom. They told him he was worthless and that his mother and father had been worse than him every chance they got," she explained, her voice strained with anguish.

Jack slowly clenched and then unclenched his fists. His childhood had been stolen from him by monsters and it sounded like this Harry fellow had his stolen by monsters as well. At least in Jack's case, the monsters were from another species. He clenched his fists one more time and then relaxed them slowly, a small smile playing over his face. Ginny felt cold satisfaction when she saw Jack's smile. It was just like the ones the twins got when they came up with a truly poetic way to pay somebody back.

"Will you folks excuse me for a moment?" Jack begged. "I have a few calls to make," he explained and walked behind the TARDIS to make his calls in private, his Vortex manipulator already held up to his face.

After about 15 minutes, a bright flash of white light came from behind the TARDIS. Ginny's Vortex manipulator chirped, letting her know someone had just used a mat-trans beam in their area. Jack strolled towards them, patting the outside pocket of his trench coat. He raised his hand to forestall any questions and simply said, "It's a surprise."

Vernon Dursley paced back and forth in the living room, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. He giggled happily every time he looked over at Harry's meager possessions stacked in the hall. His smile faded a little when he looked up at the gaudy clock on the mantelpiece above the fireplace. They still had another 15 minutes before Harry turned 17 and he could throw his magical nephew out of their home for good.

A knock on the door startled everyone, including Harry who was as eager for the clock to hurry up as his Uncle. Harry peered through the little window in the door and saw a tall man wearing a blue overcoat waiting patiently. Across the street, Harry could see Ginny, the twins, the Doctor, and Hermione standing next to a parked car. The twins each gave him a big thumbs up sign and a cheesy smile. Harry opened the door to let the man in.

As soon as the door opened, Jack Harkness pushed his way past Harry, giving him a look usually reserved for something found under a rotting log. Jack tilted his head just slightly so that only Harry saw him wink at him. Jack continued into the living room where he found the Dursleys huddled together. To Jack, they resembled what he imagined what a human / slitheen hybrid would look like. He thought that the terms "fat" and "stupid" were invented for just these people.

Vernon managed to get some courage when the tall stranger didn't do anything other than look around the room slowly. "Who are you? How dare you burst into my home like this?" he demanded.

Jack fished out his old Torchwood ID and showed it to the Dursleys. "Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood," he stated officially.

"Who the bloody hell is Torchwood?" Vernon snapped back.

Jack folded his Id up and stuck it back in his pocket. "Torchwood is an agency tasked with investigating the strange and unusual," he replied, stretching their actual mission statement a bit. Torchwood was actually responsible for investigating alien sightings, killing any aliens that they found in the name of security, and harvesting their technology. As far as Jack knew, Torchwood rarely got involved in anything dealing with magic.

Vernon glared at Harry, the hate clearly visible. "Nothing like that going on here. Nothing at all," he hissed through clenched teeth.

Jack put on a look of surprise, his con-artist skills in full swing. "Really? Nothing at all out of the ordinary going on here?" he inquired politely.

"No… noth… nothing going on here," Petunia stuttered, her rail thin body shaking with fear.

Jack stared at each Dursley in turn before speaking again. "Are you absolutely positive?" he asked them slowly. "Because I'm authorized to offer you three a new life free of anything to do with magic as well as free room and board for the rest of your lives," he explained.

Dudley pointed an accusing finger at Harry, smiling in triumph. "He's a wizard!" he exclaimed. "I've seen him do lots and lots of magic," he lied.

Vernon put his hand over Dudley's mouth. "Free from any type of magic, you say?" he repeated to Jack.

"And all of your food and housing paid for," Jack reminded him. He pulled out a data pad and stylus from his coat pocket. Had the Dursleys been anywhere close to being intelligent, they would have wondered where such a technological marvel had come from. "All I need you to do is sign your names here giving us authorization to continue. You know how the government loves its forms," he chuckled.

Vernon snatched the data pad and stylus out of Jack's hands and quickly signed his name in the highlighted box before handing it to his wife. He sneered at Harry while Petunia signed her name as well as Dudley's. "Finally, free from you and all of the freaks like you," Vernon spat.

Petunia gave Harry the disdainful look she had perfected in the last 16 years. "Good riddance," she snarled.

Jack took the data pad and stylus back before putting it in his pocket. He reached into his other pocket and withdrew three identical white devices that looked like large wrist watches. "Put these on so we can make sure you are never touched by magic again," he told the Dursleys, handing out the devices. After they had put them on, Dudley stuck out his tongue at Harry. That image was frozen in Harry's mind as his aunt, uncle, and cousin disappeared in a flash of white light. Jack smiled from ear to ear and gave the all clear signal to the rest of the "Rescue Harry Team".

Ginny raced past everyone else and embraced Harry as soon as she was in the house. "I told you we would come to get you," she whispered in Harry's ear before giving him a snog to remember.

When they finally came up for air, Harry saw that Hermione, the Doctor, and the twins had joined them. Harry frowned slightly and looked at Jack. "What happened to the Dursleys?" he wondered. Even though they had abused him for as long as he could remember, they were still family.

The Doctor looked at Jack suspiciously. "Yes, Jack. What did happen to them?" he inquired.

Jack tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. "Yeah, about that," he said as he fished the data pad back out. He handed it to the Doctor, his eyes sparkling. "I need you to read over this contract and give your permission to proceed," he told him. Ginny gave Jack a curious look. He turned to face her. "What I did was in violation of the Shadow Proclamation section 12," he stated. "In order for it to be legal, either an officer in the Shadow Proclamation or a member of the Shadow Parliament has to give me permission. Since your dad is the last person from Gallifrey, he becomes the Shadow Parliament delegate by default," he explained.

The Doctor finished reading the data pad and tried hard not to smile. "Normally, I absolutely abhor this type of thing, but this one time I will make an exception," he told Jack. The Doctor pressed his thumb on the corner of the data pad. "I, the Doctor - delegate from the planet Gallifrey to the Shadow Parliament, do hereby authorize this one time exception to Earth's status as a level 5 protected planet," he proclaimed and then handed the data pad back to Jack who pressed a button on the side. A blue laser swept around the room, taking measurements. When it was done, Jack tossed the data pad onto the couch where it disappeared in a flash of white light.

"Will one of you two boys quit grinning like the cat that ate the canary and tell us what is going on?" Hermione complained.

Jack smirked before answering. "I was able to contact a cruiser from Segonax that was passing by Mars. Turns out they know the Doctor and offered to help," he told Ginny. Turning to face the Doctor, he added, "Kingpin wanted me to tell you hello by the way."

"So Jack sent them to an alien spaceship?" Harry asked. He still had problems sometimes coming to grips with the fact that aliens were very, very real – even if he was madly in love with one.

The Doctor pointed up at the ceiling. "Harry, Jack just sold your uncle, aunt, and cousin to a traveling circus. Their signatures and my approval made it permanent," he explained happily. Sort of makes me wish I hadn't gotten rid of the Gods of Ragnarok. The Dursleys deserved worse, he thought.

Harry grinned from ear to ear and nodded in thanks to Jack, words to express his gratitude escaping him. Ginny skipped over to Jack and placed a kiss on his cheek.

********DrW********

Psychic Circus space cruiser, outbound flight past Jupiter

Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley Dursley blinked their eyes after the brilliant flash of light. When they could see again, they looked around their living room. Everyone else had simply vanished, leaving them alone. Vernon was about to say something when the far wall suddenly slid aside, revealing a large glass barrier. Behind the barrier were all types of aliens, none of them looking even remotely human. One alien, who looked like a cross between an octopus and bee, pointed one of its tentacles at them and made a noise that sounded remarkably like laughter.

Dudley's eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted dead away. For her part, Petunia let out a blood curdling scream. Vernon looked up at the ceiling and screamed angrily at the top of his lungs, "Harry Potterrrrrrr!"