DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction using characters from the Supernatural universe. I do not claim any ownership. This work is solely for entertainment purposes and is not considered film or tv canon (not by a long shot).
The sun set on one of the longest days of Castiel's life. Castiel had never allowed himself to believe that he would ever find anyone on this plane to share his love. He had long ago resigned himself to a life filled with meaningless joinings simply to find pleasure, however temporary. In a man his complete opposite, Castiel had discovered an echo to his own pain and loneliness – an kindred spirit of sorts. The look on Dean's face filled Castiel's thoughts and he fell mute for the entire day – Singer did not press him for his thoughts.
Sam pulled on his boots and looked around to gauge his surroundings. He shivered in the biting air – winter had come and they were camped alongside a frozen lake. After so long trapped in the curse, the brothers had clothing for nearly every possible weather change. Sam pulled a long, warm woolen cloak around himself. When he'd come to himself after the change, Sam felt himself strangely bereft. Castiel was no where to be seen. He could not have said why, but Sam felt uneasy about the absence.
Sam knew his brother too well even though they had not seen one another for two years. Castiel was a clever, caring man – Sam sensed he hid a pain as great or greater than even his own. Their conversations had been short, but Sam felt comfortable in his company.
Dean had been alone long before the curse had stricken them – his brother was not one to let anyone past his emotional walls. More astonishing was his willingness to trust Castiel with Sam himself ... Dean's entire existence had revolved around watching over his younger brother. Very few people had managed to make it past Sam's personal guard dog, a fact he'd bemoaned more than once. After Singer's inadvertent betrayal, Sam had somewhat understood Dean's reluctance to open his heart to anyone.
Now a little thief named for an angel had joined their rather strange little family – and Sam knew, if his discovery of Castiel's shirt in the saddlebag was proof, that Dean had fallen hard for the odd but endearing man. Sam worried about what had passed between them.
"Oh Dean ... what did you do?" Sam sighed.
The dark was alleviated this night by a full moon which bathed the world in silver. Sam knew all the phases of the moon ... he knew all the constellations ... Sam could travel based on the stars alone. Two years had taught him much about the world of night that he had not known before. He would have given up all the knowledge to be able to walk in the sun again ... even for a moment. He would have forgone even that pleasure if he could just hear his brother's voice or touch his brother's hand. Half a life left no room to build a relationship ... the Bishop had not even left them the possible peace of a mating for their animal halves. Wolves and hawks mated for life but Sam knew somehow that his hawk was not attracted to those of its own kind. He knew Dean's wolf was not.
A twig snapped, dragging Sam from his melancholy. His blade was in hand, ready to be used against whatever emerged from the shadows. His face split into a wide grin when he saw Castiel peering around a tree not far away.
"Castiel ... where have you been?!"
"Sam ..." Castiel began.
"You do not know how glad I am that you still travel with us," Sam said, long legs carrying him to Castiel's side. Before the thief could protest, he crushed the man against him in a tight embrace. "Come on, I'm freezing and we need more wood."
Castiel sighed and jerked away from the younger Winchester. "Sam!"
"What?" Sam asked, pausing with an irritated look. It faded as he saw Castiel's expression. "What's wrong, Castiel?"
"Sam, this may be our last evening together," Castiel said slowly.
"What? Why?"
Castiel looked nervously at his hands. "I didn't want to say anything ... not until I believed. Truly believed, Sam."
Sam was irritated. "Out with it, little thief ... truly believed what?"
"Sam ... there may be a way to break the curse." Castiel blurted before he could lose his nerve. "We have a plan."
Sam had frozen at Castiel's words. Break the curse – it was a seductive idea that somewhere there existed a simple cure to the hell the brothers lived in from day to day. He and Dean had given into that seduction after the first day and night apart. They had consulted their father's text and left each other notes with ideas and suggestions. Nothing was possible to even be tried because the curse required both of them to be present in human form to be broken. After months of dismal disappointment, they'd stopped searching.
Sam ran his hand over his face – perhaps Dean and Castiel had discovered something together – perhaps that was the reason for his unease.
"A plan – did you and Dean devise something?" Sam asked.
Castiel shook his head. "No ... not Dean."
Singer stepped out from behind the tree and into Sam's line of sight. The younger Winchester groaned and sat down heavily when he saw the old monk. He no longer wondered at his anxious feelings.
Sam listened carefully to the plan. He could immediately come up with any number of reasons why it would never work, but he only had to look at Castiel's face to know that the thief was willing to move heaven itself to free Dean from the curse. That was enough for him to at least entertain the tiniest sliver of hope.
Now as he watched Castiel and Singer bickering in a the hole they were attempting to dig in the frozen ground he could almost hear his older brother's voice damning him to be a hundred times a fool. At least it was amusing to watch – he bit back a snicker as Castiel's patience snapped.
"Singer, this hole is to capture a wolf ... but I will gladly bury you in it if you do not stop shoving me!"
Sam was about to try and peace-keep between the two when his attention was dragged elsewhere. "Dean ..."
Sam walked away from the trap and the camp. Even in their separate forms, the brothers had an innate sense of one another's proximity. Sam knew the wolf was nearby and his suspicion was borne out when a mournful howl split the air. Sam felt his ribs tighten around his heart – he'd never heard such an aching sadness in the howl before. Again he paused to wonder what had passed between his brother and the thief called Castiel. Singer and Castiel scrambled out of the hole with much cursing.
Sam shushed them both with a frantic gesture and waited, watching for the wolf to show itself. He was nervous ... the wolf trusted him, was bound to him by the bond of brotherhood. Sam did not know if that bond would hold if the wolf felt betrayed. He did not want to contemplate it. Another howl drifted to him and Sam whirled around ... the wolf was coming across the frozen lake. He crouched, trying to keep the wolf's natural hesitancy at bay.
Castiel saw the wolf appear and his heart stuttered. His mind was filled with memories of the time they'd spent only hours before – when the world had consisted of only they two. Curses and mad bishops were non-existent in the singular sanctuary he'd fled to with Dean. Castiel swallowed hard. All of that – shattered by a moment's decision to try and make Dean believe. Castiel should have known better – Dean's faith was wafer-thin after all he had suffered with Sam and the curse. In Castiel, he thought he'd found someone who understood that pain and would not judge him for his seeking escape.
Oh Dean ... if you only knew just how well I understand, Castiel thought sadly.
His musings dissipated like smoke when he saw a sight that tore the breath from his lungs. The wolf trotted toward Sam on the ice ... and with a thundering crack, the ice broke and dropped the wolf into the gelid water. Stricken yelps echoed across the snow plain.
"DEAN!" Sam yelled. He raced forward only to stumble back when the ice gave way before him. Sam's anguished shouts mingled with the wolf's hapless cries. Throwing his entire length flat, Sam belly crawled across the ice – he strained to reach the wolf whose struggles to gain purchase on the ice outside the hole were fading.
Castiel grabbed Dean's sword and quickly tied one of the ropes to it before slithering out onto the ice. Sam reached the hole and threw both of his arms around the wolf. He could not get a grip on the wet fur and the wolf's fight was making it nearly impossible to hold on to him.
A few feet from the hole, Castiel drove the sword into the ice and tied the other end of the rope around his waist before he continued sliding toward the hole. Once there, Castiel slipped into the water. The freezing cold stole his breath for the second time that night. He took a hold of the wolf's hindquarters and lifted while Sam desperately pulled back. The cold numbed his hands and Castiel could not keep from being pushed beneath the wolf as it fought. He screamed and then sucked in water as the wolf's hind claws tore into his chest. Then both the wolf and the thief were flailing in the water.
"Castiel! NO!" Sam pleaded, straining to get a grip on one or the other of the forms splashing in the dark water.
Castiel wrapped his arms around the wolf and kicked desperately upwards toward the lip of the hole.
Lord, if you give me no other boon in this life – please grant me this ... please, Castiel prayed.
Together, thief and wolf surged onto the ice, the wolf finally gaining a grip on the firmer ice. Sam was able to haul the soaked black lupine out of the water with loud grunt. He fell back and the exhausted wolf did not seek to escape.
Singer had followed them out onto the idea and once the wolf was safe, he began to tug on the rope with all his strength. By wrapping the rope around his hands, Castiel was just able to hold on tightly enough to be pulled from the lake. Castiel's thin frame sprawled on the ice, heaving in pained gasps of air. He felt his clothes freezing on his body but it didn't matter. Dean was safe. Dean was safe and they had one last chance to persuade him to believe that he and Sam could be freed.
Lying on tree boughs laid in the hole previously dug for the wolf trap, Sam opened his eyes as the night sky lightened from black to deep purple. Dawn was approaching. He turned his head and looked at the wolf lying beside him, yellow eyes open and watchful. Sam smiled.
"You would never to do anything by the easier path, would you brother?" He whispered gently.
Castiel had slept little the remainder of the night. As the sky lightened, he got up and walked silently toward the pit. Castiel felt odd. He felt an odd buzzing in his head – like a thousand bees had taken it for a hive. His skin prickled and he could not focus his thoughts beyond the need to draw closer to the brothers. He looked over the edge at the two Winchesters. He knew he would be witness to both of them changing ... he looked at the wolf and his heart ached. Trapped within the animal was the man he knew he would love for the rest of his days – Castiel mused on how beautiful he was even in this form, covered with rich ebony fur. He wanted to leap down and run his hands through the thickness of it but he was loathe to disturb the scene before him.
Below, hidden from the sun's questing fingers within the deep shadow created by the sides of the hole, Sam sat up and gently carded his fingers through the wolf's fur. It had been a very long time since he and the wolf had been together for the change. The sun was rising – Sam could feel it in his very marrow. The alteration to their forms would happen as it always did but Sam did not want to look away. The wolf's yellow eyes regarded Sam with the same emotionless gaze held by all of the dumb animals in the world. In those eyes was nothing of the passionate soul that encompassed Dean Winchester ... Sam felt tears start in his own eyes as the wolf began to shift. The man hidden on the other side of the morning began to emerge.
Castiel watched from his place beside the pit and shivered. Tears streamed down his face as he stared down at the brothers. Castiel felt as though his own body might split apart – he fairly vibrated with building energy that would have to find release and soon.
Oblivious to Castiel's distress, Sam watched the wolf take the beloved shape of his brother and he reached out impulsively. Dean shuddered and his hazel eyes suddenly focused on Sam sitting just beside him, hand outstretched. Unable to understand what had brought the wolf to be beside Sam as morning came, Dean stretched out his arm, fingers spread wide.
Morning had arrived and Dean suddenly saw the light spear through the hand reaching for his own. Sam was gone – the hawk calling to the sky and winging its way out of the pit. Dean lunged after it with a pained scream.
"SAM!"
Singer had watched Castiel rise and walk to the edge of the trap like a man still sleeping. He could only imagine the scene there – proof of the pain the brothers existed with daily. He did not envy the thief those images – ones he himself had witnessed and could never forget. When Dean called out to his brother, Singer looked over. He watched the hawk pumping long wings in flight. Dawn illuminated a sight then that had the old, jaded monk crossing himself as he fell his knees.
As the hawk fled to seek peace among the heights, Dean released a grief-stricken howl and fell against the edge of the trap. A shadow lay across him and he looked up to see Castiel standing nearby. Dean had wrongly assumed there were no sights left in the world to astonish him and he gaped in disbelief.
Castiel had watched the Winchester brothers altered by the cursed change and denied even the briefest of touches. The instant between one change and the next was no more than a blink and it only made the anguish of separation all the more keen. His own frame trembled violently as the hawk flew away. Castiel opened his mouth to speak to Dean, but then something washed over him and the secret Castiel had kept from his newly found friends and love was revealed.
Castiel cried out as a savage tearing pain split his shoulder blades – agony and ecstasy together. Castiel could not begin to know how it was happening but he cared not a whit as midnight black wings unfurled to either side of him as they had for his entire life in heaven. Wings that marked him as no mere mortal – his blue eyes met Dean's transfixed hazel-green gaze and the elder Winchester fell into the fathomless depths.
For a moment that lasted the length of a heartbeat, Castiel could almost hear his brothers and the rest of the heavenly host. It was suddenly torn away much as it had been the first time he'd drawn breath as a man. The wings vanished as if they had never been. In Castiel's mind, the silence was again endless and empty. He fell to his knees and released a scream no less tormented than Dean's soul-wrenching cry. Castiel's all too human hands reached for the blue of the sky as broken sobs wracked his frame. He did not feel the strong arms that surrounded him and pulled him against a broad chest. He did not feel the tears that dampened his hair nor did he hear the softly whispered words of love as the body he lay against trembled.
Dean held Castiel tightly to him. He kissed the dark hair tenderly murmuring, "I have you, Cas ... I have you ... I won't let go ... I love you, Cas ... I'm here, Cas. I'm here." Dean Winchester had never allowed himself to believe that he would find love in his lifetime. Even after it had come crashing into his life in the form of a scrawny escaped prisoner named Castiel, he had tried to escape its bonds. Dean knew now he was completely and absolutely bound to the being in his arms. Dean knew he should have been terrified based on what he had just witnessed, but instead he only knew that he would bring down heaven itself to end the suffering of the man he held. A man that only a day before had given him reason to hope that curses could be broken and that his lost faith in God could be restored.