FIRST THINGS FIRST. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. The reason this chapter is so late is because during the whole month of November I was working on a 50, 000 word novel for NaNoWriMo, which is this competition to see if you can write a full length novel in a month.
Good news, I succeeded, better news, I get to update sooner.
Hope you enjoy, I'll be updating weekly now. :)
Chapter 17: Not Enough Feeling
Lately Lucy felt as if she had been waking up anywhere but in her own bed, so unsurprisingly when she unglued her eyelids she found herself staring up at the familiar face of Porlyuscia.
She was leaning over her with a large spoonful of some nasty looking maroon coloured liquid, brows scrunched together.
"You missed morning class." She stated coolly, motioning Lucy to open her mouth, once Lucy did she shoved the spoon into her mouth.
Lucy cringed as she swallowed the vile tasting medicine, wishing she had a glass of water to down the terrible taste.
Almost as if she had read her mind, Porlyuscia handed her a tall glass of water which Lucy gulped down.
"Mr. Dragneel is in class, much to his unhappiness, I forced him to go, he was quite worried about you though." She said, eyeing the blond testily as Lucy sat up in the bed.
Lucy fought off the blush that threatened to splash across her cheeks, Natsu had kissed her yesterday.
"Do you have a spare uniform here?" Lucy asked, actually wanting to go to class for once, she had a enough with drawing unneeded attention toward herself. "I should really get to class."
Porlyuscia straightened, that signature 'oh no you're not' granny face concreting on her wrinkly brow. She crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot, she was obviously expecting some sort of answer.
An answer that Lucy didn't have.
"Not so fast Ms. Heartfilia, Natsu was very vague about your injury, what exactly happened?" She demanded, eyes flashing.
Lucy gulped, heat prickling at the back of her neck, she didn't know what to say. Usually she was good at lying, or at least twisting the truth, but how did she twist something so insane?
"I fell." Lucy suggested sheepishly, wishing she could melt into butter and slip away down the hall. Porlyuscia's gaze hardened, eyes burning holes into Lucy's, "I found something rather interesting in your cuts, crow feathers, splintered and tattered but bits and shreds in there none the less. Whatever you've been doing lately it doesn't look good in any way."
Lucy felt all the lies upon lies stacking up around her, boxing her in and suffocating her, how could she possibly lie her way out of this one? Forcing her brain to work Lucy worked with the best idea in her head at that moment; "I have a bunch of pet birds."
A pause, elegantly Porlyuscia cocked a thin pink brow, lips pursing. "Really? Pet birds?"
Lucy nodded, "yeah!"
An amused smirk played upon the old healers lips, "so, you're friends with Madame Strauss's bird I presume?"
Lucy recalled upon her odd conversation with the bird and nodded again enthusiastically, "yes actually! Yule is a beautiful bird, smart too!"
"Smart?" Porlyuscia asked disbelievingly, shifting her weight.
"Yup, Yule is really special." Lucy went on, hardly believing this was actually working!
"So, if you were just visiting your bird friends, why were you hurt so badly and why was Mr. Dragneel with you? Last time I checked you two weren't exactly friends."
"Er, well, I have the reputation of being clumsy so foolishly I fell on my way down the steps from the owl post, thankfully Natsu was also collecting his mail and heard my screams of pain." Lucy hoped her terrible lie was somehow made believable by the cheek tearing smile she had forced upon her face.
Porlyuscia eyed her. Whatever she was thinking she eventually gave up, deciding Lucy wasn't going to tell her anything else anyways.
Sighing, she rubbed the bridge of her nose between her fingers, "alright, you may go, uniforms in top drawer of the bed side table, I'm going to go get myself some tea, good bye." With that she stormed out, messy pink hair trailing behind her. As soon as she was gone Lucy let out a sigh of relief, she needed to brush up on her lying skills, she was getting rusty. Plopping back down on the bed she ripped of her bloodied socks and tore off the remainder of her dirtied uniform and hastily changed into the clean spare. While she was pulling on her socks she was extra careful to be mindful of her bandages, not wanting to ruin any of the work Porlyuscia had put into wrapping it. Glad that she could actually put a reasonable amount of weight on her leg Lucy did a quick little hop of joy on the spot.
"Now to get my books." She said cheerfully. Deciding she didn't want to climb all the numerous stairs to her dorm to collect her books, Lucy decided she'd just call upon a Gap portal, "gapimento portalis." Lucy said, feeling her fingers slip through space and time and create a hole just big enough for her to fit through.
Floating about a foot above her knee was a small, three foot wide circle, inside the circle was her dorm room, just the way she remembered it, her books scattered on her desk. Smiling at her seamless work Lucy lifted her leg, carefully putting it inside the oval then ducked under the circles opening lip, not wanting to bonk her head.
Once inside she hurriedly rushed over and grabbed her books and timetable, she didn't even know what class she was suppose to be in. Grabbing her books, Lucy ran back to the Gap portal, once again ducking inside, once on the proper side she mumbled the reverse incarnation. Then, with all her books and figuring out she needed to be heading to World History with Professor Jura Neekis, she hurried out of the infirmary, hoping Jura would be reasonable with her tardiness.
Lucy entered the classroom just as Professor Neekis was beginning his annual lecture on the Confederation of the Wizarding World. As Lucy poked her head inside the dusty, artifact ridden classroom, Professor Neekis raised a lone eyebrow questioningly at her. Until recently, Lucy had mostly stayed under the radar in his class, handing in mediocre assignments and never talking much, but lately it seemed her intelligence and interest in World History peaked and she began to actually talk in class.
Ducking her head, books clutched to her chest, Lucy took her seat near the front of the class trying to be as subtle as she could manage but failing quite badly.
"Miss. Heartfilia, do you have a valid reason for your tardiness?" Jura asked calmly, adjusting the spectacles on his nose, shifting the heavy text book in his arms.
Lucy could feel Natsu's eyes burning holes into the back of her neck, she swallowed, "sorry Professor, I was in the infirmary this morning, I had an accident last night and I needed some patching up."
His upper lip twitched, the rest of his face as expressionless as always, "do you have any proof of your stay there Miss. Heartfilia?"
Lucy was about to rip off her sock and show him the proof of her injury and the work that had been done on it, but another voice silenced hers,
"she was there Professor." The very familiar voice of Natsu Dragneel said, his eyes still glued onto Lucy's back, "I saw her there this morning when I went to go pick something up."
Jura's steady gaze moved to Natsu, who was seated in the back of the class, sizing him up. Finally, he consented, he didn't really care anyways. "Alright," he said, then turning to Lucy he said, "please open your textbook up to chapter eleven, Confederation for All."
The rest of the morning consisted of Lucy shifting in her seat uncomfortably as Natsu's burning gaze remained on the back of her head. She couldn't find it in her to turn around, meet his demanding eyes and give him some concrete indication of their standing.
She cringed as she remembered she didn't kiss him back, he thought she didn't like him. Now, Lucy wasn't even sure if she liked him. Everything inside her told her to squash those growing feelings for the flame brained wizard and go back to being the logical, secluded person she used to be; go back to being normal. But, on the other hand, a part of her very dearly wanted to grab him by his school tie and kiss him with all the burning passion that swelled in her gut.
Torn between what she wanted to do and what she should do, Lucy found the two hours of Professor Neekis lecture very agonizing.
When the bell signalling break finally went, Lucy jumped out of her seat, quickly collecting her books and practically running out of the door, whizzing past Natsu in a blonde haired blur.
He stared after her dumbfounded, he had wanted to talk to her, ask her the sizzling questions that needed to be answered. Most of all, he wanted to know how she felt about him, after the kiss he was feeling stranded and lost at sea.
"What's up with her?" Gray said, sliding up beside Natsu, snickering slightly.
Natsu just stared out the classroom door blindly, feeling rather at loss for words.
"I mean, she's always been bit of an oddball but recently, with those new magic powers, you'd think she's an alien or something." Gray scoffed, flicking something resembling a booger off his notebook.
Natsu blinked stupidly, shaking his head, "yeah, she's odd alright." He muttered quietly, grabbing his stuff and heading out of the classroom.
He was really beginning to wonder when he was going to get his answers.
OoOoOoO
Lucy was beginning to get really good at avoiding people she didn't want to talk too. The whole day she slipped around, in and out of class, making sure to never come within five meters of Natsu. Of course she could still feel his scorching eyes on her, trying to catch her eye, her attention. Somewhere along the line Lucy justified kissing him on the cheek as she had been winded from her incredible fall and she wasn't thinking straight. She also forced herself to believe the feelings that she was beginning to realize toward for him were all fake, meaningless, just stupid and naive. Nothing more than infatuation. Right now she couldn't risk anyone becoming too involved with her, that would mean they could figure out her deadly secret, her scary secret.
The only good news was that the presence in her mind was fading, as if withdrawing, she could no longer feel Angel's eyes looming eerily in the blackness of her mind. And although this excited her she knew she shouldn't get too excited, he wasn't about to give up anytime soon.
That she knew for sure.
Knowing Angel he was probably just withdrawing to trick her into believing he didn't care about her anymore then he'd come back, teeth snapping as venomous as ever.
Lucy sighed, rubbing her sore neck, it had begun to ache as she leaned against the tall oak tree in the back courtyard. It was lunch break and the cool fall air had a bitterness to it that signalled the coming of winter. Lucy had always liked winter, it was the perfect season to curl up in a warm blanket with a good book and drink copious amounts of tea. With that pleasant thought, Lucy let her eyes fall closed, inhaling the air through her nose.
"I've been looking for you everywhere, what are you doing back here?"
Lucy's eyes shot open, sitting up abruptly, eyes wide.
She wasn't that surprised to see Natsu looking down on her, arms crossed over his chest, onyx eyes flashing.
She huffed tiredly, letting herself relax knowing it was only him, he wanted answers that she couldn't give him. "What do you want?" She asked exasperatedly, looking up at him through her lashes.
Natsu rolled his eyes, "what do you think I want? Answers of course! I want to know why that thing attacked you last night and what the hell is going on with you lately!" He snapped, voice irritated and pitched.
Lucy bit down the sigh that wanted to pour from her lips, "wrong place, wrong time?" She asked, shrugging her shoulders and offering that as a sufficient excuse.
Natsu's eyes narrowed into slits, his lips forming a hard line on his face, "seriously? I'm worried, this isn't normal," he barked, then a blush slipped across his face, "don't you remember what I told you last night?"
Lucy gulped, she did remember what he told her actually, quite vividly. A part of her whispered lies and worries into her ears, was he truly only in love with what Angel made her?
"I do remember," she whispered, unable to meet his eyes, "it's just, I don't think I can trust you Natsu, not yet. I'm going through something that is crazy and scary and if I tell you it ties you to me if you like it or not." She paused, her heart racing in her chest, "and that's not what you want is it? I'm afraid I'm just too much commitment for you, sorry."
Natsu pounced her, falling onto her rather ungracefully, his hands immediately shooting to twine themselves in the locks of her hair, kissing her hungrily.
Again, Lucy found herself shocked by his sudden actions, stiff in his arms, his heated body pressing into her's with a desperate need that was brand new to her.
His lips were fiery and spicy, sending waves of heated magma through her veins, his lips solely orchestrating the melody of the kiss.
Much to her own surprise, Lucy felt herself kissing back. Gentler, more nervously, but kissing back nonetheless, allowing her eyes to slowly slip close in acceptance.
She felt him smirk against her lips, confident and cocky, she should have broke it off just then but the predatory side of her seemed to be dominating her mind. Her fingers trailed up his chest, slipping around the column of his neck and playing with straight bits of hair that kissed his neck. He was smooth and sure, his tongue slipping into the cavern of her mouth effortlessly, massaging against her own tongue expertly.
Lucy could feel the outside blur, her eyes clenched shut, all her attention completely diverted on kissing Natsu with all the passion she could muster. She wasn't so much scared anymore as she was furiously trying to taste every crevice of Natsu's mouth. He didn't seem to mind that she didn't have any idea what she was doing, he moaned against her sweet lips, his fingernails digging into her scalp.
Her mother never told her what kissing a guy was like, her mother had died before Lucy had hit that age. She could never have guessed the pleasure and passion that bloomed in her stomach, electrifying her brain and making her pant like she had just run a marathon.
Natsu's lips pulled away from hers, his eyes wide and distant, a ghost of a smile on his lip. He cupped her cheek with more grace than she would have previously thought possible for him, his gaze full of adoration.
"Lucy." Was all he said, his voice husky and thick.
One would be surprised at the effect that singular word had on Lucy, her heart in her throat, she couldn't talk.
She had accepted his feelings hadn't she? Now, he assumed he had gained her trust he was excepting answers more than ever, he believed he had won her over. Fear ricocheted throughout Lucy's body, shaking her to the bone, what could she possibly tell him?
Natsu could tell immediately something was wrong, for Lucy's smothering brown eyes went cold, brown irises darkening. Worry struck at his heart, he needed to bring her back! He ran his thumb over her high cheekbone, hoping his simple caress would put the fire back in her eyes.
Instead her dark irises moved up to meet his frantic ones, brows knotted together, lips white and bloodless.
"Natsu." She said, her voice was much different from his, cold and shaky.
No! He screamed mentally, he couldn't lose her now, not now! He wanted to press his lips against hers again, seeking entrance to her mouth and slowly her heart. Now, Natsu didn't exactly know why he needed to know what was going on with Lucy so badly, he just did.
"Lucy, Lucy!" He murmured hurriedly, hands clasping the sides of her head, trying to keep her eyes locked on his.
Her bottom lip trembled, tears threatening to spill over. Emotion seemed to drown her in buckets of heartless waves, the mound of lies she built up looming over her like a mountain.
"You can't do this to me Lucy, not now." Natsu whispered, desperation causing his voice to crack and break precariously. He wanted to kiss her, to bring her back, to breathe the passion and feeling back into her, but he couldn't. Not like this, he didn't know what she would do if he kissed her.
"Don't call me Lucy." She whispered weakly, a lone tear falling down her cheek, eyes hooded and dark.
Natsu's felt her body slipping away through his fingers like grains of sand, her skin was becoming translucent.
Natsu let out a horrified gasp, she was using magic to disappear! He scrambled to grab her, but his fingers slipped through her like she was a mere hologram, a ghost.
She smiled at him sadly, shaking her head, brown eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry." She mouthed, before she vanished, leaving him alone.
Natsu didn't know what to do. He was completely numb, his body frozen in stasis, unmoving and unfeeling. Yet again he had been naive and stupid and now he paid the price, with his pride and with his heart. He didn't want to admit that he had actually been holding out hope she'd finally let him in, both into her heart and her life. A void of pain and despair clawed furiously at his stomach, his head spun and he began to feel sick. But past the pain and hurt was a blinding anger at her betrayal and his rejection, he was mad he had allowed himself to fall for her.
He felt his magic surge in his veins, rippling underneath his skin, her swung wildly, fist slamming into the awaiting bark of the tree. Fire crackled and sputtered around him, the heavy scent of burning grass filling his nose.
Natsu stood, feeling the adrenaline rippled through his body, there was no way he was giving in now!
Rawr. I felt like I had to throw some more angst at you guys, you just don't get enough. Well now that NaNoWriMo is over I'll be able to update, like well EVERY WEEK. Omf.
Well, I hope you enjoyed. Please review, favourite and follow.
Until next time
3 Suicidal