Repercussions
"Another force to contend with. Another power player who has decided to use me as a piece in her games, although things never seem to go according to plan.
Snow put his hand under my chin and points it up.
"Don't be so grim, Peeta," he says. "There really is no reason to act this way. You may or may not have just saved our country from another possible war."
"It's inevitable," I retort. "And you know it. I knew it. Caesar knew it. We all knew it. The faces – the faces of the audience when I called for a ceasefire, you could see the surprise etched onto them."
"You can't prevent it," I tell him. "You can't."
"It's worth a shot," he replies. "Weren't you the one who never gave up, despite the odds? You used to be so gallant, so brave. Look at you now. You're desperate, lonely, and clinging onto anything you can find."
I scowl at him. "Says you. Look at you. Using mass murder as a source of entertainment, claiming it's simply used as a lesson. What is it now?"
"It was for good reason, Peeta," he says, squinting his eyes. "You don't understand what the repercussions would be if we did not."
"What repercussions? Letting people have their freedom?"
"You'll understand soon enough, Peeta. Everything has a consequence, and you'll soon enough find yours."
He smiles, an incredibly fake smile that crinkled the sides of his mouth and the corners of his eyes.
He snaps his fingers twice, and two security guards – the same ones who first released me into my prison cell – grab me by the arms.
They lead me, again, to my new quote unquote home.
As soon as they leave, all my new cellmates begin talking at once.
"Did Snow like torture you into saying that?" Johanna smirks.
"Peeta, did everything go okay? You were gone for a quite a bit," Annie comments.
"You did pretty well," Enorabia says.
"I can't say anything right now," I reply.
They shut up immediately; they all know why, of course.
Katniss – did Katniss watch the interview? What did she think? Did she think I was traitor? Did she agree? Did she disagree? What did she do? Does she hate me, hate me even more?
My stomach twists and contorts and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with too many thoughts and worries.
Of course she thought I was a traitor. I betrayed myself. I had to, but did that mere point make anything better? I suggested – in front of the entire nation – to end a war that could help free us once and for all.
This was our only chance, and if the rebels truly listened to me, everything would be gone. We would be succumbed to an even worse fate.
But they wouldn't listen to me. A voice nags at me still, that they would, and everything would be doomed, but they wouldn't have. They couldn't have.
Katniss – she was too brave, too daring, too proud to let go of her chance.
Gale – he would've followed Katniss side by side, and he would die believing no matter what that the Capitol was always wrong, and they were.
Finnick – he'd do it for Annie. He'd do anything for Annie. He too knows what the Capitol has done – to him, to Annie, to everyone around him.
"It'll be okay," I murmur to myself. "Everything's going to be okay."
I did my job; I did what Snow asked. I may or may not have even went above his expectations. I may not have convinced anyone, but I did what he asked.
Snow, his appetite for control is insatiable. He would go to any limit to gain power. His rule is mercilessly.
"But it'll be okay. As long as Katniss is okay, you'll be okay," I tell myself.
Katniss.
I can't stop thinking about Katniss. She's my only hope, my only string in this world. I can't bear to lose her again. She'll fight, and I know she'll win. She's too good to lose.
We'll win.
There's more good in the world than bad.
Cinna, he grew up in a world that prized murder and sadism. He turned out as a person quite the opposite.
There will always be the power-hungry, the unsatisfied, but it'll get better.
I believe one day that a child of mine will walk free in the world, without a worry of the Games.
I'd rather go through it myself than for another person.
I'll prove myself to Katniss once and for all.