El Mañana

by silverspacechameleon

James Buchanan Barnes was on a hell path for revenge and answers. The girl with the impossible dark eyes being held prisoner by HYDRA was an unexpected reunion, unexpected being he didn't remember her. Will he trust her to help him recall his past or is she another clever manipulation of HYDRA. Bucky X OC. Rated M for language and Smut. Somewhat Sequel to The Abridged Meeting.

68. Without You

Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to post this, but it's a long ass chapter so that's partially the reason why. Now on to thanks:

LoveFiction2023: Thank you! And you will find out soon, I'm working on that chapter now, and have to cover a bit of stuff from the timeline before then. Stay tuned!

Ariel: Yes bummer...*cackles mysteriously*...Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter.

Buckysgirl: Thank you! What did you love about it tho?

Louise: T_T I wonder the same, but oh well, better to have some readers than none. Thanks for the support! :*

---

Boy, you're so dope, your love is deadly
Tell me life is beautiful, they all think I have it all
I've nothing without you
All my dreams and all the lights mean
Nothing without you

- Without you, Lana Del Rey

27th April 2015

It was a little past five in the evening, they had selected a secluded spot to meet her contact Inc, to get their travel documents in order. The arrangements took a week of planning, with Bucky being the more paranoid of the two. His nerves were still heightened, he knew that particular tendency would never ease given his past. However, he also realized Joanna had her quirks as well, but more towards the chaotic side.

They arrived at the Sâncraiu de Mureș, a commune just off Mureș County, Transylvania. The long travel was taxing, and Bucky looked forward to heading home as soon as they were done. They had found an abandoned shoe factory, they monitored the area over the month and decided it would be secluded for their meeting with the infamous Inc.

Joanna was excited to be out of the city. He could tell from her motivated march beside him as they crossed a long, curved, stone bridge. The fading sunset still lingered in glistening stripes over the deep blue river. The wind that whistled through the treetops was calm and soothing. He liked how his lungs appreciated the cleaner air in the countryside, as he admired the hilltops and grassy fields.

Joanna seemed to notice this too, comfortable in their silent walk together in the lush green, scenery. She had briefed him on the ideal location she had found, which was an old abandoned shoe factory. Joanna had already instructed their contact to meet them there, and so far, Bucky's anxiety wasn't as triggered.

They waited within the lonely building. It was a long hall that stretched onto one lone, green door. The right side of the room was lined with rows of pillars, once a cream colour that was now chalky and decaying. The left wall was entirely panels of square glass, presenting a wide view of the countryside.

Bucky idled by the shadows of one of the pillars, beneath the cement roof. His crystal gaze was narrowed on the opposing wall. He was tracking movement through the glass, unaware of his girlfriend studying him with a sly smile.

"Always suspicious, huh?" He blinked, dragged out of concentration by her. He glanced to his left at Joanna, leaning back into the neighboring column. She seemed rather serene, with her long legs beneath her dark trousers, crossed at the ankles of her tan leather boots. Her arms were still stuffed into the pockets of her black jacket. Her head was tilted to the side in a sly inclination, her dark eyes gleaming between the framing curls of her inky hair.

Bucky felt his face redden, from more than just her notice.

"You know it won't really go away." He mumbled, no longer chagrined by his continuous distrust. It was a second skin, bred in war and further ignited in his time in HYDRA. He recognized his anxiousness had only grown as of late since he had more to lose.

"Who said I want it to?" Joanna countered surprising him. She was still smiling, but her charcoal eyes burned with a loving warmth he had seen many times.

"I think it's kinda sexy." She added, slowly pushing away from the wall and taking careful, seductive strides toward him. Bucky's pulsed elevated, taken by her approach and standing perfectly still as she reached him.

James couldn't turn away from that look in her eyes, another emotion he had been caught under many times, and knowing exactly what it implied. He glanced around nervously for onlookers, but then when he felt her touch, his attention immediately snapped back to her.

Joanna was tugging demandingly at the lapel of his coat, and his body automatically conceded, slanting closer, spellbound by her red lips. Bucky could only melt when their lips met, that familiar rush he always felt racing through his chest.

Joanna couldn't get enough of him, that clean scent of him was a safe haven in the foul stench of old glue and earthy dust in the abandoned building. His skin was the warmth she needed in the harsh wind and she greedily gathered him closer.

Surprisingly, Bucky met her enthusiasm with his own gentle ease. She felt the weight of his arm, mid-kiss, wrapping around her middle and reeling her deeper into his hold, rubbing her back through her olive-green shirt. It was maddening, the lustful way he triggered her with just one possessive embrace.

Bucky didn't seem to care much for the consequences of his actions, kissing her back passionately, their tongues meeting in a heated, swirling dance as her hands climbed up his firm torso, beneath the lapels of his jacket.

James shuddered under the caress of her touch, even if it was through layers of leather gloves and his shirt, he enjoyed it greatly. But the pleasure also cautioned him not to prolong things further. He didn't know what it was about being outdoors that ignited her need for him, but then he recalled their missions alone and even when they were just as ravenous indoors, they were professional during work hours.

He supposed the change in their relationship was the cause, removing that barrier and Joanna was always wonderfully zealous.

Suddenly she stopped kissing him and Bucky was compelled out of her dizzying affections. His eyes blinked open, confused by the absence of her soft mouth. Joanna had pulled back, her neck craned to the side towards the entrance as if she sensed something. Bucky tensed immediately, dragged out of his dazed stupor as he followed her gaze. He couldn't hear anything over the pounding of his own heart.

"We got company," Joanna whispered in a giddy tone and he looked at her. She was grinning evilly, the apples of her cheeks a blush pink from their amorous interlude. Abruptly she clasped his hand and yanked him behind her as she cornered the back of the pillar. She forced him into the shadows, hiding from a phantom figure.

Bucky stood, unsure of how to behave or think. But then the sound of approaching footsteps in the hall caught his attention. He knew it was their contact from how Joanna was acting. The woman was hunched over grinning wickedly and practically shaking in excitement, while peeking past the column to time her ideal attack.

James rolled his eyes heavenward, the woman's childish antics were endless.

"Boo."

The approaching shadow gasped and despite the figure's manly build, Bucky had to admit, his reaction was not.

The man's shrill scream echoed within the hollow halls, as he clambered back in frightened shock, almost falling back from the weight of his black duffle bag. Joanna laughed boisterously and directed her mobile flashlight onto the victim's face. Bucky studied the man under the bleach spotlight. He was a tall male, Bucky estimated to be six feet, but much smaller in the frame compared to the muscular soldier. His length was masked in the awkward way he presented himself, dressed in a grey plaid coat that was too big for the male, over a black shirt and ankle-length pants.

The starkest thing about the gentleman was his hair, a ginger-shaded afro that seemed to form a cloud over his square face. He had on a pair of round and thin, silver spectacles that gleamed from the light's reflection, balanced over a flat nose. Once Joanna dismissed the glare, Bucky saw a pair of beady black eyes on a dark-skinned complexion. The male's thick brows were arched up in petrified shock until finally relaxing at the sight of Joanna's familiar face.

"Nom de Dieu!" The male exclaimed, glaring at Joanna, his eyes narrowed and piqued by her scare. "Did you purposefully choose such an obscure location just to scare the piss out of me?"

Despite speaking English, his French accent was quite pronounced in his enunciation. Bucky was surprised, the male seemed harmless and young. Bucky guessed him to be in his late twenties, judging from his colorful choice in Converse, which was stark against the rest of his muted clothing.

"Guilty." Joanna giggled quite merry over her little prank. Inc wasn't amused in the slightest and turned away in a huff to resume his task of arranging his duffle bag against the wall before Joanna scared the living daylights out of him.

In his distraction, Joanna abruptly spun around to face the soldier, blocking his scrutiny. She grinned and began to point discreetly at the voluminous mass of the man's auburn curls. Bucky stared, confused as to what he was supposed to notice. But then the longer his stare wandered from the man's head to Joanna's wiggling brows and impish grin, he realized what she was inferring.

The male was a redhead. Seeing the realization dawn on to him, Joanna stopped pointing and winked and Bucky glared in exasperated outrage. That's what she had meant by the man being just his type, the woman was unreal with her teasing.

"Hilarious." He grumbled sarcastically, with a peeved upturn of his chin. Joanna laughed and that immediately caught the nerdy male's attention. Joanna masked her taunting smirk with a beaming grin that Bucky thought, could put the sun to shame.

"Great seeing you, Inc." She exclaimed clapping the male on the back, rather hard. The force of her blow caused the man's glasses to slip down the bridge of his nose. Bucky noticed how Inc seemed to be tolerant of Joanna's rambunctious ways, almost prepared for the weight of her hand and accepting the full grunt of it with a friendly grin.

"Lovely as ever, Jo." The man uttered with a fond smile, pushing back at the frame of his spectacles. Bucky did not miss the dripping sarcasm in the male's tone and found it quite amusing.

However, Bucky was a little cautious of the way the man admired Joanna's pretty face, taking his time to notice her hair and smiling lips. Bucky dismissed the possessive instinct with the reassurance that the man was simply absorbing Joanna's change in appearance.

But then, Inc suddenly looked to Bucky and the solider immediately tensed under his curious stare.

"Who is your friend?" He asked glancing at Joanna for a response.

"This is Bucky." She introduced him proudly, with a loving smile.

"You look really familiar, Sir." Inc mused, rubbing his chin in thought, and Bucky's nervousness only intensified.

"Have we met?"

"No." Bucky protested a little too hastily and looked to Joanna in paling panic. The woman was grinning, almost laughing at him silently, it was infuriating in between his stress, unaware of how the redhead's eyes widened behind his moon-rimmed glasses.

"Oh, mon dieu!" He exclaimed in shock, startling Bucky to attention. "You are the mystery man. In the flesh!"

Bucky stepped back instinctively when the lanky male took a fast stride toward him. He wasn't given a moment to prepare himself, the young man already clasped Bucky's gloved right hand and began to shake his arm frantically.

"Pleasure to meet you, Sir." The male expressed with a wide smile. Bucky was stunned, reeling from the unexpected introduction.

"Likewise." He mumbled awkwardly, slipping his hand out of the man's feeble hold. Inc didn't seem dissuaded by Bucky's reclusive actions in the slightest. He continued to smile in wonder, returning back to Joanna's side. Both were at him and Bucky felt that familiar edgy dampening of his palm again.

"Think anyone will notice the uncanny resemblance?" Joanna mused inquisitively, slanting a glance in Inc's direction.

"Nah he has been dead long ago." The French man insisted with a dismissive flick of his wrist.

"Which only intrigues me even more." He then mused to himself mysteriously, with a coy look directed at the female beside him. "Care to explain mon ami?"

James tensed under the inquisition and stared at Joanna, awaiting her reaction. The couple exchanged subtle glances but the calm smile on her face, didn't waver in the slightest as she regarded the young man again.

"You know in our line of work curiosity only killed le chat?" She reminded in smooth, witty delivery while slanting Inc a dangerously stern look. Bucky smiled privately beneath the shadow of his navy-blue cap. Joanna had an uncanny ability to make graceful threats.

"O-oui." Inc stuttered out with a nervous smile, glancing between the two militants and deciding, it was wiser not to be too curious. "Best not to be too inquisitive then."

"Smart," Bucky added with a soft, conclusive nod.

---

The young male had brought an entire photo studio set up with him. Bucky was quite amazed and still silently attempting to understand, how the man carried so much equipment in one measly duffle bag.

He had a white screen that he pulled to a height from a strange, black cylinder-shaped device he placed on the floor. Bucky had to pile a few cement blocks a foot away from the center of the screen, for a makeshift chair. Facing the screen from the opposing side, was a camera on a tripod, equipped with a flasher and a clicker connected to a wire, that Inc operated from behind his laptop. They had managed to find an old folding table and rusty metal chair, within the compound. Inc used the furniture as his working area behind the camera, the blue light of the screen seemed to be the only apparatus that illuminated their corner in the dark halls.

Bucky had already taken his picture. He was appeased by how swift the process was. He removed his cap, sat down and stared directly at the lens, adjusted his chin as Inc ordered and within a minute, his pictures were taken.

Joanna followed after him, taking a seat on the block as Bucky stood up, and her routine was rather painstakingly long. They were ten minutes in and Bucky and Inc had been watching her fuss over her appearance from the background. The woman was using the front camera of her phone to adjust her hair to her liking, even touching up her makeup.

Bucky was surveying their surroundings again when Inc's exasperated groan caught his attention. He looked to the male, he was slumping back in his chair with his head of auburn curls thrown back in vexation. Bucky found it quite amusing and supposed his adoration for her oddities, made him a lot more enduring.

"Jo, are you quite finished?" Inc groused out.

"Just a sec, Inc, damn," Joanna uttered calmly, mid-applying a layer of rouge to her lips. "I ain't looking like no basic bitch in my ID."

"She is quite a handful, isn't she?" Inc grumbled in question which Bucky realized was directed at him, standing beside the younger male. The soldier was a little stunned to be acknowledged at first, especially by such a familiar tone. However, he recovered quickly and nodded discreetly which Inc found positively hilarious.

Like the duchess she believed she was, Joanna announced she was ready and Inc took the pictures in great haste. In two flashes Joanna's likeness was displayed on the laptop screen. Bucky admired her smiling image from beside the man, annoyed by the fact that she looked a lot more well-kept than his disheveled looks.

Bucky looked up at the sight of movement to witness Joanna rising up to her long legs, and approaching them from the side, in the dim setting. He tracked her stride, from the confidence in her walk to the way she had her hands stuffed into her jacket pockets, looking so casually cool in her lazy advance.

"Alright, what are the names?" Inc asked soundly, distracting Bucky from his girlfriend and back to the computer screen. The male had his slender fingers, decorated with various gemmed silver rings, posed on the keyboard, waiting for instruction.

"I'm thinking Joanna Weber, what do you think handsome?" Joanna mused from Inc's opposing side. Bucky contemplated the suggestion; the surname was quite common and it was convenient to keep some form of their identities.

"James Weber is not too bad, I guess." He mused, taking a cue from her proposition. Joanna's focus, which was casually pointed down at Inc between them, turned to Bucky with a sharp spasm of her head, her eyes flared in shock.

"Oh, we are an item, are we?" She asked, eyes narrowing in speculation, with a cat in the cream grin that made Bucky's face warm, chagrined by her awareness.

"Isn't that a little suspicious?"

"Two single people living together? Like that's not a red flag?" He countered flatly and Joanna's smile widened in glee. Bucky's heart raced at the sight of the twinkling happiness in her dark eyes. Even if it was to pass societal norms, Joanna was smitten with the idea of them being a married couple.

"You have a point there." She mused coolly turning her attention back to Inc, failing miserably at hiding her joy from him. Bucky smiled clandestinely, truth be told he only proposed the suggestion since it was the most logical. But now that he contemplated the idea further, with Joanna's openness of the notion in mind, he found himself fantasizing about the prospect of being married to Joanna, building a house for her with the idealistic white picket fence.

He thought he would have been terrified of the thought, but considering how well they lived together in domestic bliss, he supposed things wouldn't be that different from their usual routine.

"Do you need me to make a marriage license?" Inc chimed in from below as if to add further fuel to the discussion. "I have a great template for that."

"You are hilarious, Inc." Joanna laughed, glanced at Bucky, and then slowly slanted forward towards the younger male's right shoulder.

"I'll get back to you on that."

Bucky heard her secretive murmur and chose not to comment, yet pinned the teasing for a later time when they were alone.

"Alright lamination will be done in approximately an hour," Inc announced with a final press of a button. Bucky was alerted by a whirring sound he heard from his left, at the corner of the table. He stared marveling as a tiny, palm-sized printer began to dispel their new passports.

"Thanks," Joanna said with a jovial punch to the man's shoulder. Bucky looked at them, watching the exchange.

"How much do I owe you?" She asked, her hand already reaching into the inside of her jacket pocket, where Bucky recalled she hid Inc's payment.

"The usual." Inc countered coolly.

"I thought the charges would have increased." Joanna mused, her dark brows furrowed in confusion while slipping out several notes of folded cash from within her jacket, balanced between her slender fingers.

"Not for my favorite acquaintance." Inc countered with a cheeky tilt of his head.

"Aw shucks Inc." Joanna laughed in that velvety way that indicated to the Bucky that her ego was being fanned.

"You make a girl blush."

Bucky rolled his eyes over the entire exchange, thinking it was getting quite ridiculous that she was able to charm her way out of any situation, and discounts too apparently.

"By the way, did you bring the other thing I asked for?" Joanna prosed in a secretive manner that had Bucky intrigued. His eyes narrowed in speculation as Inc searched into his own pocket. He stared, in scandalized shock as the man produced a tiny clear, plastic baggy that contained a gram of weed.

"Yes, but I need this at full price."

James deadpanned as the man presented it to Joanna who beamed brightly, her eyes narrowed in suppressed, internal glee. The woman was outrageous, Bucky couldn't help but judge. Buying narcotics in the middle of nowhere, in Transylvania of all places.

"Can't blame ya, in this economy." Joanna mused with a helpless sigh while passing the man more notes, and accepting the weed in return.

Bucky was further horrified when the woman pinched open the parcel and began to search through her jacket, before pulling out her rolling papers.

"You are going to smoke one?" James interjected sternly, catching her attention.

"Here?"

Inc and Joanna exchanged culpable glances, the male was more surprised by Bucky's restrictions. Joanna, on the other hand, was unbothered.

"Forgive my husband, he doesn't know how I run business with acquaintances." She expressed to Inc, ignoring Bucky entirely.

"Well, one of you has to have the moral high ground." The male countered with a haughty grin. Joanna frowned and Bucky smirked smugly, feeling rather vindicated in his alarm.

"Boo, you whore." She grumbled and pulled out her rolling papers anyway. James sighed and chose, despite his restrictions, not to comment any further. He was accustomed to being in the shadows, quiet and observant. He remembered Joanna's dealings in the past, as professional as she was with handling Doom, she was different around her friends.

Although Joanna's pride would never concede, Bucky could speculate from her carefree nature around Inc, that she trusted the man. Enough to share a joint apparently. Bucky lazed back silently in the sidelines as Joanna turned to the edge of Inc's makeshift desk, beside his laptop.

But then, just as she was about to use the surface for her task, Inc hissed disapprovingly, alerting both former agents.

"Hey, no, you get away from my computer." He exclaimed flicking both dainty wrists dismissively at Joanna, attempting to shoo her away.

"I need a surface to roll." The woman pouted pausing in her task.

"Use that side." He insisted sternly and began to push his laptop gently to his side as if protecting the device from her. "I am not trusting you anywhere near my equipment, not since the last time."

This statement intrigued the former soldier greatly. He wasn't aware Joanna had met Inc, prior to her imprisonment. It was a clue into her time when she was attempting to rescue him, an incident that she still refused to divulge to him.

Bucky didn't know how many more hints he could drop.

"Ugh, you have got to get over that." Joanna groaned, leaning back into the further corner of the table and no longer using the surface. Bucky didn't know how, but the woman had managed to crumble up the dry plant in haste he missed.

"I had to cover my tracks, you know it was nothing personal." She continued on while filling the folded insides of her tan paper and then rolling the joint in swift ease.

"The gun you threatened me with was a little vexing," Inc grumbled accustomed to her speed, and confronting with her apparently. Bucky felt like he was watching two siblings interact, petty quibbles over boundaries. He found it amusing that Inc was brave enough to call Joanna out on her chaos.

"The safety was on and you were refusing to get out of my way." Joanna defended, the blank space between her brows furrowing, in that way Bucky knew she was annoyed by the grilling. "I told you, I didn't touch any of your other files."

James absorbed the information with open ears, finding himself with more questions than answers in the context he was provided. Joanna had threatened Inc regarding some information, that didn't sound like her unless the information was particularly valuable and personal.

"Scrapped every inch of Operation R.P.C, there was valuable intel in there that I will never get back," Inc grumbled with a wide, irritated roll of his eyes. Bucky was the one furrowing his brows now, utterly confused by the title of this particular mission they were discussing. Hydra reserved their abbreviations for products, not for mission briefings. In fact, they preferred to sum the task into one word, with little or no paper trail. He wondered what the mission entailed and whether it had anything to do with him.

"As cute as you are Inc, you know I don't trust anyone with my secrets." Joanna insisted with a charming smile while searching for her lighter in her pocket. Bucky observed the two silently, how quickly Inc seemed to ease from just a compliment from her and forget his annoyance entirely.

It was new, seeing how comfortable Joanna was with the company, that wasn't him. But at the same time, he noticed the defenses she kept, in her words and demeanor. As open and charismatic as she was with him, she was also a hell of a lot goofier.

He wondered why he never noticed that comparison at the school, and realized, Joanna was mischievous with her friends there, he was the outsider at the time. Their timeline was confusing to the male at times, but considering all that has happened he didn't fault her for taking the time to open up to him again. She was probably trying her best not to overwhelm him with her excitement.

---

It was eight in the night, but by the time Bucky and Joanna were done meeting Inc. They escorted the male, in discreet stalking till he was safe aboard his train, on a detour to their transport.

Bucky was happy to be back on familiar streets, and with new identification. His body felt a lot lighter from the stress of being undocumented. He had to admit, he had seen a lot of false identification in his time, and Inc's work was transcendent. His picture, however, he was not a fan over, especially when Joanna snorted at it, smugly comparing it to her own. Bucky had to begrudgingly seethe silently, unable to argue facts.

Despite arriving in the city, they still had a long walk home, and James predicted they would arrive in an hour, including dinner. He glanced at his lover, striding merrily by his side, distracted by several pebbles on the sidewalk that she kicked away.

He glanced around their surroundings. The sun had set hours ago and the street lamps illuminated the dark asphalt and other crowds of people in pockets around leisure areas. Considering it was a weekday in the night, the streets were fairly quiet with the occasional car whizzing past them.

The silence was perfect, and Bucky decided to bring up a topic of conversation, he had been debating since his newest intel. When he gathered the courage and looked to Joanna, he discovered she was gazing across the street, nose upturned in the air and eyes narrowed in at the distance.

Bucky snorted amused by the sight, knowing Joanna was clearly operating on her munchies. He recalled her raccoon-like behavior, raiding their pantry cupboards at home, or sniffing about outdoors, it was funny.

"What's Operation R.P.C?" He asked. Joanna immediately stopped walking and looked at him. He stilled midstride, profile partly slanted in her direction as he awaited her response.

"Why… do you want to know?" She droned with a sly tilt of her head. Bucky grinned finding her coy response amusing.

"Why… are you deflecting?" He inquired, in a mocking mimic of her tone as he took a step closer to her. Joanna held his stare, her black eyes glittering warmly, amused by his teasing. He saw her lips pursue in brief contemplation before lengthening into a wide smile.

"It was the most frustrating, painstaking, mess of a mission I had ever partaken in, unfortunately, it's also the one mission I failed miserably." She confessed with an exasperated roll of her eyes and slight snarling of the lips. Bucky digressed, that this particular mission was a blow to her ego.

"Explains why you'd want any evidence of it scrapped from the record." He taunted as she narrowed her eyes at him, peeved by his comment. He expected her to rebuke him in some way, but Joanna continued to leer mirthfully, not serious in her glaring in the slightest.

"So, what does R.P.C stand for?" He continued to probe curiously holding her gaze. Bucky saw the tiniest flicker of despair in her dark eyes. But it was so abrupt in its disappearance that he thought it was his imagination. Joanna was smiling again, eyeing him slyly before her lips parted to answer.

"Rescue Prince Charming." She stated, soundly, focused completely on his reaction and Bucky was, shocked to say the least.

His heart lurched, in that familiar way that Joanna said anything in that crafty way she did to catalyze heart palpitations in him. His deductions were vindicated, it was a personal mission, but Bucky didn't feel victorious in the slightest. He admired her longingly, his throat tight from the unexpected meaning behind the abbreviation and hating himself for not realizing it sooner. Joanna's last mission was with him, before Mt. Charteris.

He didn't know how to handle the rush of emotions inside him, wonder, despair, joy all in a heated ball that threatened to claw him inside out.

"Man, I'm starving." Joanna briskly announced with a hapless sigh. Snapping him out of his dazed turmoil. She was looking past him and to a distance, her dark eyes glimmering as if she recognized a neighboring lane.

"So, there is a shawarma stand nearby, you have got to try this stuff, it's like a burrito but no carbs and pure meaty goodness," Joanna explained enthusiastically, glossing over the moment and taking full advantage of her boyfriend's prolonged silence. Bucky was accustomed to her deflection from situations that made her feel vulnerable, and for the moment, he was thankful.

He didn't want to venture further on the sensitive topic outdoors.

"God I'm salivating just thinking about it." She jabbered on, earning his attention again. "Let's not forget, the pickled mix, Jesus Christ it's Godsend."

He smirked amused by her passionate accolade for Arabian cuisine.

"Keep it in your pants, Jo." He couldn't help but tease.

"Not possible, it will burn my coochie."

"What the hell is a coochie?"

---

The shawarma stand that Joanna spoke so grandly of, was just one man behind a wide cart. He was a short male, with a wide body and evident potbelly beneath the layers of his yellow apron, grey sweater, and blue jacket. He had a bald shiny head, a round face, meaty cheeks, and a tan complexion that was the slightest bit pink from the hot stove behind him. His lower half was a mystery to Bucky, but he did notice how the man seemed to instantly recognize Joanna.

James wasn't surprised by the friendly interaction as Joanna placed their order. He was intrigued by the giant slab of cylindrical meat that revolved on a pole, behind the vendor.

He had watched the man prepare their meal with great fascination. He started with a thick, ruler-like blade and began to slice off a portion of the roasted meat. Joanna hadn't been kidding about the protein. Bucky was famished from watching the man roll the juicy meat into a wide flat bread. Then he added several condiments, along with a pickled mixed them into a separate baggy, and handed them to Joanna.

They huddled together in the corner by the stall and Joanna was waiting in high anticipation as Bucky unwrapped his shawarma for his tasting. He had never tasted Arabic cuisine before and was eager to try, but Joanna's expectant glaring made him nervously hasten his pace.

"So?" She asked as he took a bite and munched thoughtfully.

"It's good." He confessed, yet to swallow his mouthful, but from the glittering amazed in his blue eyes, Joanna knew he liked it.

"Now pair it with this." She insisted, presenting him a curved, dark green stalk of chili, dripping vinegar down the tips of her fingers. He accepted the pickled vegetable and brought it to his lips before taking a morsel.

The sour spiciness of the chili brought about a new burst of flavors that bathed his tongue as he continued to taste in blatant awe. He didn't know how to express his wonder with a mouthful of food and slowly swallowed down the bite, with wide eyes.

"Holy cow." He whispered unable to think of a better form of expression. However, his reaction was more than satisfactory to Joanna who beamed in utter delight.

"Mohammed you've done it again." She exclaimed whirling around to face the man with a wide smile and shawarma at hand. "May Allah smile upon you always."

Mohammed beamed his broad grin and bright teeth framed by the growing litter of his mustache and beard.

"Shukh-ran Habibi, so nice to see a smile on your grumpy companion's face." He said with a sly laughter to his words and a coy glance in Bucky's direction. James managed a shy smile as he continued to eat his wrap, unable to find the will in him to stop eating.

"Even I can't make him smile like that, Mohammed, you are a wonder." Joanna continued on with her gushing compliments that made Mohammed even redder than he already was.

"Stop it, please, I am already red from the stove. I might faint."

Joanna laughed in that raspy way that always made Bucky's stomach flutter, but he could also blame it on the seasoning from the pickled mix. Soon Mohammed was distracted by more customers, the couple took that as their cue to resume their journey back home.

James was still famished despite the protein and was happy that Joanna had the sense to request takeaway too.

"Should you be flirting so shamelessly now that you are supposedly married?" He questioned feigning hurt as they strolled side by side.

"Uh, I ain't see no ring on this finger." Joanna bit back playfully nudging her shoulder against his arm in a jovial fashion. "And you know I can't resist a man who can cook."

Bucky smiled entertained by the comparison. "Thought you'd be a little put off by the male pattern baldness."

"He was balding? I was too busy admiring his meat stick." She responded with a jaunty wink that had the man narrowing his eyes down at her, in humorous displeasure.

"Brat." He objected in a grumble before swiftly pinching her sensitive side. Joanna gasped before whacking across the chest instinctively. Bucky laughed wickedly, tickled by her weak retaliation, and poked her side again.

---

"Jo?" Bucky called as he walked through the threshold of the front door. He smiled, catching the sight of her behind the kitchen counter just as he stepped in. He had just returned from another long day at work and considering the light was open from beneath the slit of the door, he knew Joanna had returned before him and was eager to see her.

"Hey, hun." She greeted smiling excitedly at his return. His heart fluttered, always warmed by how cherished he felt by her enthusiasm for his company. He turned away for a moment to shut the door and take off his shoes.

"How's work?" He heard her inquire, followed by the light steps of her approaching from behind.

"Same shit—" He began to say monotonously.

"Different day?" Joanna interrupted with a velvety mirth to her voice. Bucky smiled practically picturing her cheeky grin in his mind, before he turned again to acknowledge her.

He looked to her, with a prepared response, mid-shrugging off his jacket when the sight of her stilled his train of thought. There was something different about her appearance that night.

His crystal gaze tracked down from her mane of thick curls, there was nothing unusual on her profile. Her face was still pretty as usual and she was wearing her favorite black sweater. However, when his stare fell lower to her waist, he was shocked to find the apparel she adorned, which was definitely not common.

"Very different..." Bucky mused attentively, almost to himself as he raised his gaze to meet her dark, glimmering eyes.

"You are wearing pants." He commented and the woman immediately stopped smiling.

"You don't even wear clothes unless you are leaving the house." The last part he uttered rather scathingly, recalling a recent incident when Joanna forgot and had almost trounced out of their home with her lower half exposed if he hadn't intervened in time.

Joanna blinked once, and her smile returned but sarcastic and clearly masking her budding nervousness over his keen notice.

"What, a girl can't have a little modesty?" She rebutted with a shrug, further fueling his suspicions. Bucky tried his best not to jump to conclusions, yes it was strange for her to wear bottoms when he had seen her prance around in the nude, routinely leaving him speechless from the sight.

"What are you hiding?" He demanded removing his coat and tossing the material over the table by the door, without a glance, only fixated on her in stern inquiry. Bucky's strict expression didn't seem to waver Joanna's sheepishness, but from the slight twinge between her brows, he knew she was annoyed by the pestering.

"If you wanted me to strip naked, just say so." She grumbled, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

"Strip naked." He bit back briskly, stunning her.

"I'm not feeling particularly sexy right now." Joanna continued to deflect, turning her gaze southward while simultaneously rubbing her belly. "Just ate a bunch of crisps and you know how salt makes me bloat—"

"Joanna." Bucky cut in exasperated by her purposeful sidetracking.

"Alright, fine, sheesh." Joanna cried out, arms up in surrender while frowning miserably over her forced submission. He stared in unwavering focus as the woman took her sweet time pushing the garment down, from her waistline. Bucky had seen clothing fly off her in a ravenous fury when sex was involved, but now she was being lethargic.

But then, when her pants pooled around her ankles, revealing her sun-kissed legs, Bucky almost wished he hadn't been so persistent. The golden surface of her left knee was marred in slicing, red hot scratches, over her already healed wounds. He knew she had attempted to treat it from the smears of glistening, disinfectant cream she had applied over the cuts. Her choice in disguise was worse than the pants.

Bucky took a deep shaky breath, his fists clenching and trying his best not to lose his cool. The scars frightened him, but Joanna seemed to stand quite dignified without pants, unbothered by the painful sight of the tears. He slowly met her gaze, trying his best not to express any concern on his face.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

"Nothing, just me underestimating my stupidity as usual," Joanna said with a dismissive shrug, far too casual for his liking. Her response confused him, from more than just the lack of context. Her wounds looked painful but she was being so lackadaisical. As if seeing his indignant confusion, Joanna's flat expression softened repentantly.

"I'm fine hun." She whispered with a gentle recline of her head, Bucky felt his heart squeeze in pity. The woman was more attentive to his reaction than her own, it was beyond bizarre. He wondered if her sensitivity to his emotions was the reason she was hiding her injury from him.

"Your plan was to wear pants to hide this from me?" He demanded a little insulted by her selection in stealth, did the woman underestimate his intelligence?

"Well, I figured later on, if I turned off all the lights and distracted you with enough ass and titties, you won't notice," Joanna explained with a naughty grin that had him both blushing from her candor, and extremely annoyed by her ignorance. He didn't feel any point in arguing, clearly, it was a dumb plan, and even Joanna seemed to regret it. He sighed glanced at her leg and then stepped to her.

Joanna gasped not expecting the man to suddenly duck down and lift her easily into his arms, bridal style. She wasn't even given a moment to absorb her new predicament, he already reached his intended destination, the couch, in quick purposeful strides. Bucky set her down gently on the cushion. Her back curved into the right armrest, with her legs haphazardly following to a reclined position, on the sectioned seating.

"Wait here." He ordered with a stern glance, before rising up to his full length. He turned and marched towards the bathroom.

Joanna rolled her eyes despite blushing from the unexpected manhandling. She didn't want to admit how much she liked being surprised like that, the man was so chivalrous, it was annoyingly adorable. Grumbling under her breath, Joanna pushed up into an upright position before hopping up, resting her rear on the bar of the armrest behind her. She planted her feet on the plush cushion beneath and sat, legs posed wide, waiting for his return.

"I'm not in any gut-wrenching pain, handsome," Joanna announced as Bucky emerged from the bathroom, carrying their small and red, first aid box. The apparatus looked alarmingly tiny between the man's broad build, held in both hands. She recalled raiding the container not moments ago, poorly but furiously tending to her cut before Bucky got home.

He seemed to notice this as he sat down before her bent legs, searching through the contents and annoyed by the disarrayed medicines.

"I already disinfected it, it's just a few scratches." Joanna continued on, thinking the man was fussing too much. Bucky ignored her rambling and pulled out a transparent bottle of liquid antiseptic. She watched as he soaked a ball of cotton with the liquid, setting aside the box and decanter by the floor and then turning to her.

"How did this happen?" He asked, while slowly cleaning the cuts, being careful not to touch the open wounds.

"It's fine."

"Did you crash the bike again?" He continued to press on, glancing up at her to read her emotions. Joanna side-eyed the kitchen, flustered by the probing, she wished it was as easy to explain as a simple bike crash.

"No, I told you I'd be careful." She reminded drearily.

"Then how did this—"

"It's just a little difficult to pedal with that thing on, and I guess the friction caused abrasions or whatever." Joanna blurted out in haste, surprising the man with her flustered rambling. Then, realizing it was an uncharacteristic outburst, Joanna sighed and slowly raised her stare to meet his.

"I'm fine, it just looks bad." She insisted again meekly. Bucky stared, realizing why only her knee was the area that was injured, whereas the rest of her was unharmed. He averted his attention to the door, pausing in his cleaning to spot her harness from the corner of his eye. He hadn't noticed earlier, but the apparatus was on the table, by his coat, in a tangled mess of black straps.

He felt instant pity bleed into his chest and a little stupid, for not predicting such an outcome. Of course, there would be chafing, cycling was stressing her already injured area, and Bucky knew how abrasive those straps were.

"Why were you hiding this from me?" He asked, not meeting her gaze and continuing his task of cleaning her wounds. He was being as delicate as possible, but the more he tended to her, he discovered most of the abrasions were red burns and only two of the five wounds were bleeding.

"You get a little sensitive when it comes to my knee, even when it has nothing to do with you," Joanna responded after a moment and the weight of her reluctant honesty, hit him hard. He knew he couldn't fault her on her disinclination to seek help from him, considering how many times he had brought up the topic, searching for some form of reprisal from her.

"Well, I am the reason you have to wear the brace in the first place." He uttered disdainfully and immediately stilled when he spotted Joanna's flinch. It was a subtle jerking of her knee that drew his attention back to her face. Her expression which was once defensive and blank, suddenly relaxed in saddened acceptance, as if she knew exactly what he would say.

Bucky didn't realize he was so predictable with his self-loathing and that alone made him hate himself even more. Joanna's staring didn't help, those well-like dark eyes bore into his soul as if searching desperately, for some sort of resolution.

"I don't get it." She breathed in wounded disbelief, her shoulders scrunching up in hapless defeat.

"It's like you want me to be mad at you over this." She uttered, exasperatedly gesturing to her knee before looking at him. Bucky tensed, realizing his mistake. He was asking for it again, some form of punishment for his actions. Even Joanna preferred to lick her own wounds than face the consequences of his inner turmoil.

"No that's not it, Jo." He excused himself hastily in a low apologetic tone. He didn't know how long it would take him to realize he would never garner such a response from her. However, her lack of trust in him was making him feel like a scoundrel.

"I—want to be able to talk about it at least." He confessed solemnly, distracting himself by discarding the dirtied cotton to the floor and reaching for the band-aids.

"What is there to talk about?" Joanna grumbled in a defensiveness he was unfortunately expecting. "It happened, we are together now, what does it matter?"

"It matters to me, Jo." He argued, fueled by the storm of emotions that tightened his chest. "I don't want to avoid talking about something shameful I did, just because it would be easier."

Bucky paused looking at her, hands lowered to the cushion with the plaster strips at hand. He assessed her face cautiously, Joanna's cold mask had returned, along with that steel-jaded miasma in her eyes. Her entire demeanor warned him not to probe further, the slight twitch in her left brow cautioned him of her mild irritation over the matter. Yet, Bucky braved forward, placed a gentle hand on her right knee, and leaned up slightly.

He saw her face visibly relax under his glowing regard. Her narrowed gaze expanded reluctantly, moved by his glittering blue eyes, being so bold and unafraid of provoking her.

"I need to know you are okay." He whispered tenderly. Joanna held his stare for what felt like minutes when it was merely seconded. Then she lowered her gaze, her stubborn scowl twisting at her mouth once more and Bucky felt disheartened by her retreat.

"I am fine I told you." She insisted once again, peeving the male.

"Then why do you keep deflecting?" Bucky demanded unable to restrain his annoyance over her unrelenting stalwart nature.

"Because wasting time on a mistake is for the weak." She spat, in a vicious yet low raspy tone that Bucky wasn't expecting to hear. Joanna froze, her eyes wide in shock as if just hearing her own malicious response, echoing in her head. She abruptly looked at him, and Bucky saw the shivering remorse in her obsidian gaze.

James wasn't afraid of her defensive nature, but he did pity her. Her logic sounded eerily close to the tyrannical teachings of their former employers. His annoyance subsided with the realization that maybe, Joanna's lack of hatred towards him, was her jaded outlook on her emotions, that was instilled in her by HYDRA.

"Did Pierce tell you that?" He asked mellifluously. Joanna was still reeling from her own internal conflict, he could see it in the way she seemed to stare past him, at some space in the distance. But his question seemed to snap her out of her trance, as she reluctantly met his gaze.

A few more seconds passed before her stare dropped once more. Then, like a turtle retreating to its shell, he saw her torso slump forward over the tops of her thighs, curving in as her arms hugged her middle, craving seclusion.

"…No." She admitted so submissively, that the male almost didn't hear. Bucky stared, flabbergasted by her queasy response. He didn't sense any denial in her tone, as if she knew exactly whom she was paraphrasing.

Bucky decided, maybe it was best to leave the woman to her thoughts for a moment and finish his task of tending to her physical wounds. His attention returned to the band-aid in his hand. He had picked the Butterfly type, so the scrapes could be allowed to breathe as they healed. He slowly removed the back cover and pressed the adhesive side over the slashing cuts.

As he continued his task, his gaze wandered back up to the female in preoccupied apprehension. Joanna was still contemplating something heavily. Even though her pretty face was vacant of emotion, her soulful eyes were a window into her deep turmoil.

It was unnerving, how quiet she was. Joanna usually didn't need as much convincing to tell him things, he wondered what their argument had triggered within her. He was also saddened by how she chose to recuse herself into her melancholia, and not rely on him, as if she didn't trust him to be strong enough to bear her sadness.

Once he was done with his task, he discarded the film strips of the bandages to a crumpled ball by the floor. Then taking a deep breath to arm himself with confidence, he turned to his girlfriend.

"Joanna, I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me." He spoke up soundly, jostling the female out of her thoughts. She looked at him, distressed by his observation.

"I don't feel like that Buck, that wasn't what it was even about I—" Joanna sighed, her fingers shoving through the roots of her hairline in maddened frustration, over her internal struggle to communicate her feelings. Bucky waited patiently, not even sure what she was so perturbed by, but hoping she would explain further.

"I just didn't want to deal with the reminder." She admitted softly after a great length. Bucky's heart fluttered in adoring empathy. He understood her reluctance, he didn't want to talk about the subject either and was fine living in ignorance. His blue moods hadn't been as serious but, he didn't want to forget the incident entirely either, especially when it could be a possibility again.

"I know you think you are sparing me in some way, Jo." He whispered lovingly, grasping her hands by the wrist and lowering them away from her face. Joanna reluctantly looked to him, from beneath the shade of her thick, curly tresses. He smiled at the sight of her pouting expression, looking quite miserable and defeated by her overwhelming sentiments.

"But you helped me deal with a lot of my problems, and I want to be able to do the same." He reminded, tenderly cupping the side of her face and bringing her pretty face out of the shadows of her thick mane.

"You do hun." She murmured kissing the inside of his palm.

"I think I help distract you." He acknowledged with a knowing smile, and she flinched in shameful acceptance. "But Joanna, you don't have to face them alone, you know that— right?"

"I know." She exhaled conclusively looking at him, her dark eyes gleaming in moving conviction.

"I guess I just wanted to avoid the discomfort, but I can see how that might be a contradicting dilemma. But we both need the closure." She agreed with a rueful half-smile.

"I don't know where to start," Joanna admitted in her forlorn disposition returning, but no longer defensive in tone. Bucky was strangely comforted by her desolation, especially over how she nuzzled her face into his palm, seeking warmth and safety in him.

Bucky was chewing on the inside of his mouth in heavy deliberation, thumbing the apex of her cheek and recalling, not long ago, when her eye was covered in bruising that he caused. Another incident they glossed over entirely, but Bucky was still continuously haunted by.

"That wasn't the only time I hurt you, Jo." He reminded glumly. She tensed in his hold, realizing what the man was reluctantly, eluding to.

Joanna remembered that night vividly and wished at times she could forget. Despite seeming perfectly fine, that injury was painful and annoying, because the agony to her jaw bitterly suppressed her appetite, and Joanna lived to eat.

She didn't hate him for his violent reaction to his nightmares, in fact, Joanna was rather glad for the incident after. She saw a glimpse of the man she knew beneath the untrusting glares. He was mousey and remorseful, her lack of anger or fear towards him after did compel him to trust her. But now Joanna could see, the man needed to hear her true sentiments on the incident and she hoped her openness on the matter, would prove to him how little she resented him.

"I wasn't going to intervene at first, but then, you started whimpering." Joanna began to explain, remembering that night in the motel last year. Bucky stared listening raptly and waiting for her to continue.

Joanna remembered being stirred awake by the man in the opposing bed. She was lying back, staring up at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of his unrest and growing concerned as the cries deepened.

"My plan was to just shake you awake, a small nudge or something, plus you didn't trust me then, so I didn't want to cross any boundaries." She was conflicted in her need to interject but decided to go against her reasoning and sat up before standing to approach his writhing body.

Bucky saw the frown that creased the corners of her full mouth and trembling lower lip. Joanna was recalling the blow of his metal arm while scratching the side of her cheek in thought. He winced, guilty over his volatile reaction that night, and feeling even worse from how Joanna tried to suppress her torment.

"But I startled you and I didn't really have the same dodging speed I was used to." She admitted hastily before a wide, forced smile lengthened her lips, revealing her white teeth.

"Which reminds me, gotta improve my reflexes, lounging around at home with you is making me soft."

Bucky didn't fault her on her need to make any nerve-wracking situation a cause for a witty quip. He understood it was her way of dealing with the incident, treating it like it was just a lesson to learn from, but Bucky found didn't find it a laughing matter.

"It shouldn't have happened." He muttered, his stomach in knots, his chest heavy with self-loathing.

"It was an accident." Joanna reminded adamantly, he wasn't expecting the seriousness in her tone. "I know the difference between abuse and a mistaken whack, I am not as naïve as I was when I was a child."

"Joanna this is different from what HYDRA did."

"I know, I wasn't talking about HYDRA."

Bucky quietened, absorbing her rejoinder with flared shock. Joanna stared back, nibbling on her lower lip as if she was contemplating venting to him. He gazed back in wide-eyed concern, eager to hear a further explanation.

Joanna sighed and leaned back into a more upright position. She squared her shoulders and straightened her spine as if leaning into an invisible wall behind the drop of the armrest. She gazed down at him from beneath her dusky lashes.

James grew restless over her silence but then thankfully, her lips parted in compliance and he knew she was about to reveal a certain glimpse into her mysterious childhood, that she hadn't entrusted anyone with before.

"I told you I interacted with my mom thrice growing up." She reminded and Bucky recalled their time in the tub together, towards the end of last year, when she had first spoken about her mother to him. He nodded quietly, lips pressed together in attentive silence.

Joanna seemed rather chagrined by his observant nature. She lowered her gaze and began to play with the length of her fingers, tugging at the tip of each slender digit in nervous distraction.

"Well, this one time, when I was around eleven. I remember for like a month during summer, I kept waking up to this wailing noise from down the corridor." Joanna began her tale as the soldier listened keenly. "I asked Beatrice about it and she kept insisting that it was just the wind. But one night, I decided to investigate so I crept down the hall, and there weren't any noises then, but I heard two voices coming from my mother's room."

Joanna paused and Bucky waited with intense alertness, knowing she was recalling a rather triggering event from her youth. As calm as she seemed, her eyes were a lot more emotive, he saw the briefest glint of burning rage in her charcoal gaze. Her nostrils flared, in the kind of way he had only seen when she was reminded of her father. The warm light of the kitchen light, cast a halo over her the crown of her unruly curls, making her appear almost like a vengeful archangel.

"He was in there with her, they were arguing, I guess it was one of her more lucid moments, 'cause I had never seen her talk before, or show any sort of expression." Bucky was vindicated in his assumption. Joanna as a child had witnessed her parents in the middle of an argument, yet she was shocked to see her mother speak.

"Anyway, I can't remember what she said, but the next thing I knew, I saw him…hit her," Joanna spoke through gritted teeth and Bucky stared at her, his heart clenching.

She lowered her chin further, veiling the spark of vengeance in her eyes from him, but Bucky saw the truth of what she attempted to hide her shame. He didn't feel any judgment towards her, only pity and the burning need to embrace her was hard to restrain, but he did.

Bucky knew offering physical comfort wouldn't help Joanna at that moment. Her entire body was trembling with a rage she was trying her best to control.

"He never loses his cool, so seeing that kinda anger come with such ease to him, I got scared." She confessed wanly. He witnessed the sheer power she had over her emotions, with clenched fists she raised her stare to meet his again. There was no longer any trace of resentment over the memory, only cool controlled melancholia.

"I think he saw me running away, 'cause he called me into his office the next day." She mused flatly, her dark eyes rolling up to the ceiling in abstracted recollection.

A sudden sardonic grin curved at her lips, full of malice that irked Bucky. He had seen such a look from her before, around Whight, when she was masking her doubts with arrogance in the heat of a mission.

"I was so fucking terrified of him, it's hilarious thinking back on it now." Joanna rasped out glancing at Bucky. He met her gaze wordlessly, determined not to speak till she was done. His face seemed to comfort her, Bucky saw the way her harsh expression relaxed, revealing her true vulnerability.

"He gave me some bogus about how I shouldn't be out of bed at night, it's part of the rules or whatever," Joanna added briskly. "But you know me, curving fakes since I came out the womb—so I asked him why he hit her."

Bucky grinned, amused by her candor, even at a young age. The woman seemed to have been born with an uncanny ability to question everyone and everything. He admired that about her, her ballsy nature.

"He said it was a mistake from his end and it will never happen again and we should move past it because wasting time on failure was for the weak," Joanna said, repeating her words from earlier and enlightening Bucky on where those sentiments stemmed from. His body sagged in understanding, empathetic over her subconscious response to his interrogation.

A parent's lessons leave a transcending mark on their children. Bucky knew that better than anyone, letting his father teaching shape him into the man he was before HYDRA. He understood why she was so floored by her own vehemence. Joanna had spent so much time trying to prove her worth to her father in her own petty terms, that she hadn't realized she had adapted his teachings to shield her own heart.

"That left an impression." He observed kindly, sympathetic to her turmoil.

"It did, for the longest time, I applied it to a lot of my survival in HYDRA, but despite his advice, it didn't negate what he did, what I saw him do." She confessed with such heavy, dignified insight that he found rather inspirational. As proud as he was over her vulnerability with him, he was still moved by the lingering sadness in her eyes. He reached out and gently curled his fingers over her open palm. Joanna's responsive grip was instant, clutching him for strength.

"I think in a way, he was relieved to be rid of me, so he wouldn't have to deal with his shame, and that really is his weakness." She grumbled irately.

"What do you mean?" Bucky inquired, confused by her heart-breaking confession. She turned to him, meeting his stare evenly with dark eyes full of unwavering determination, that he couldn't look away from.

"What happened that night was an accident." She repeated firmly, gazing deep into his shivering blue eyes, with an unwavering conviction that took his breath away. "Yet you aren't running away, you are willing to pester me enough to talk about it, even though you hate the thought of what you did, you are putting my feelings first."

Bucky stared at her in shock, struggling to accept her words. Joanna smiled so astoundingly loving in her soft regard for him, that Bucky felt his chest warm with affection. She reached for him and he didn't resist as she cradled his face between her hands. Bucky melted into her forgiving touch, clutching the width of her forearms for balance, floored by her dizzying care.

"You are not a monster, Bucky." She whispered so kindly he ached. James felt the impact of her tender avowal, stinging at his eyes as he lowered his gaze to her lap. The sight of her scars didn't garner the same fear and self-hatred, only deep sentiment for a woman who continued to love him, despite all the flaws he saw in himself.

"You are very good at making complicated, sound simple." He mused unsurely. Her strength astounded him. Joanna was a lot more emotionally intelligent than he gave her credit for. She could take time to analyze a situation, put her feelings aside, and see things for how they truly were.

"Thanks?" She uttered with a cautious grin. His smiling lips softened in a tender realization. Despite how understanding and patient she was with him, he wished she had the same care for herself, and her obvious issues regarding her parentage.

"But your father abandoning you, Jo." He whispered affectionately.

"That's not simple."

Joanna rolled her eyes, her arms dropping to her side as she slanted him a devil-may-care smile.

"Great, you want to tackle my daddy issues now too?" She quipped folding her arms over her lap, warding off his sympathy. "Can I see your agenda for the day beforehand? Just so I know when to expect to have to suddenly dive into my feelings."

"So, you'd know when to steer clear?" Bucky asked with a doe-eyed stare.

"You got me there." She mused, lazily unfolding her arms to tap the tip of his nose, casually commending his observance. Bucky continued to smile, watching her sitting on the edge of the couch, looking quite small and distractingly adorable. The woman's need to use comedy in place of her trauma was relentless, but she did share, and their conversation was meaningful.

However, the more Bucky learned about her past, the more he found himself despising her father. Of course, he would never express how deeply he hated the man for all the torment she was abandoned to, he respected and loved her, and all the baggage that came with it.

"Him abandoning you was the biggest mistake of his life," Bucky stated factually, in an attempt to lighten Joanna's solemn mood. "If I ever run into him, I will have to shake his hand and then kick his ass."

"What?" Joanna asked, smiling confusedly while staring at him in bewildered inquisition over his strange, humorous wording.

"Cause then I wouldn't have met you." Bucky declared with a wide, loving smile and slight squinting of his eyes.

"and I never want to imagine my life without you, Jo."

Joanna's amused grin over his oddities, abruptly slipped down, her full lips hung open in stun, her dark eyes shivering in disbelief. Bucky held her gaze with the brave intensity of a thousand suns. He meant it, the thought of not having experienced her wonder and chaos, even with all the heartbreak that followed, felt bleak and daunting.

Joanna couldn't comprehend the words that left her lover's lips. It was as if he read her mind, dove into her deepest darkest fears of abandonment, and kicked it in the nuts.

Words failed her, she didn't know how to process the sheer love and devotion that coursed through her veins. It was like burning hot lava, thrashing through her insides and heating her heart to the point where the intensity burned through her chest. The exhilaration she felt was overwhelming and demanded release, but all Joanna could do was simply gawk down at her lover, still trying to comprehend his fervent declaration.

As her silence continued, Bucky was restless with nerves, concerned that he had overwhelmed her with his avowal. He wanted to voice his worry, but her deep-set black eyes were skittering rapidly over his face in gleaming focus, her face expressionless.

Then, her wide absorbing eyes, hooded over in dazed anguish, the pits of her eyes gleaming a deeply possessive stare that bore into him, demanding attention. His body tensed in preparedness for what that wild desire in her gaze promised. Suddenly, she shot forward and Bucky was ill-ready for the approach.

Joanna claimed his mouth with electrifying demand, crushing her lips against his while simultaneously climbing over him. Bucky fell back from the weight of her body on his and quickly caught himself by gripping the nearest, plush edge of the couch.

Joanna didn't allow him a moment of composure; her hands were racing over his torso, and his skin burned for her in instant need. She kissed him feverishly, eyes closed as he stared wide-eyed and still reeling from her passionate actions.

The back of his shoulders met the armrest in a conclusive thump as she straddled his waist. Bucky felt the heat of her hands, crawling up to his face, cradling his jawline in both hands before combing her fingers into his hair. The dizzying sensation of her blunt nails, dragging through his scalp to the back of his head, enticed shivers of delight that had him melting beneath her instantly.

Her kiss was a pure fire that he was all consumed by, eyes closing in bliss as her tongue sought his. His lips parted, accepting her erotic kiss, tasting her in kind, trying his best to soothe her wild need for him.

Her passion was frenzied, he could feel her body trembling in his hold, sense it in each gripping touch, wrought in a tension that he ached to calm. Bucky knew he was great at defusing bombs, and Joanna's explosive desire for him was a calamity he found deep gratification in, every time.

As fast as his heart raced, he wasn't afraid in the slightest, his body seemed to automatically know when to move. She was peeling up at his top, rushed and desperate for the skin on skin. Bucky raised his arms as she tore her lips off his, just for a moment to discard the top to the floor, before crushing her mouth against his again.

Her hands were on his chest, pressing into his skin, warm and utterly subduing. Her touch traveled down the chiseled ridges of his abdomen in great haste. Distracted by her kiss, Bucky barely heard the sound of his pant belt being unbuckled.

Her mouth left his, trailing down, nipping at the cleft of his chin, to his sculpted throat, in sensual play before moving lower. His breath returned to his lungs in shivering gulps, dazedly remaining still as she continued ravishing down his torso, kissing and licking at the expanse of his alabaster chest, leaving him dizzy with want.

He was whispering her name, softly, blurry visioned and flushed. His whimpering only further enthralled her, more than his velveteen skin beneath her probing tongue. Joanna felt possessed by only one thought, loving her gorgeous man and seeing those pretty blue eyes haze over in pleasure.

Joanna was out of control, pulling at his pants as if appeasing a personal agenda against denim. His boxers were roughly yanked down and despite his nervousness over her wild desire, his cock sprang up, throbbing, erect, and ready for whatever sexual punishment she had planned, why he did not know.

Bucky didn't think he said anything all that triggering, he was being honest, but the moment her lips envelope over his engorged cock. Bucky realized she was rewarding him.

James bit back a moan as he stared down at her in surprise, the sight of her lips around him, slowly easing into the hot cavern of her mouth, was too much to bare. He jerked at the sensation of her hot tongue, gradually stroking and tasting him, at a speed that was created to madden him.

Bucky struggled to find balance, shaking and wrought with pleasure he reached up. His fingers found the head of the couch, sinking into the lush cushion, with only the sensation of her erotic kiss, consuming him completely. The pleasure was doubled by her little vibrating moans, the woman was scandalously enjoying the gratification she brought to him, aroused in return.

Bucky thought he was going to die from how hot the hedonism was, mounting faster, with every intention of driving him to the brink of oblivion. He couldn't even formulate a thought, all he could focus on was her dizzying devotion. Joanna sucked on him with a lewd fascination he couldn't tear his gaze away from. Even when strands of her inky forelock fell over her eyes. He released his grip on the furniture and reached out, combing back her mane and clutching a fist full of her hair for balance.

Joanna seemed lost to the carnal worship she blessed upon him, he barely had to guide her head, and she knew exactly what she was doing.

"Jo." He managed to grind out through clenched teeth. He was trying to warn her, that his release was coming, much sooner than he thought possible. But his weak protest was ignored and Bucky knew trying to hold back the flood of his release was fruitless.

With a harsh, loud cry, clutching her tresses with his head thrown back, he lost control and pumped hot. Joanna groaned in delight, swallowing and licking every drop of his essence until he softened and slipped from her lips.

Bucky gasped, trying desperately to catch his breath. His vision began to clear but his heart was still thundering loudly. His hand slithered free from her tangled locks and he hesitantly lowered his gaze and locked eyes with Joanna.

She was sitting upright, her almond-shaped eyes were wide in wonder, the apples of her cheeks were flushed and her lips were bee kissed and parted. He was amazed at how equally labored she seemed, breathing heavily like the act of giving him pleasure brought her just as much satisfaction. But the longer he held her stare, he saw the gleaming hunger still coiling deep within, and he knew, the sin had only just begun.

Joanna didn't waste any time. He stared from his reclined position, still dazed from the climax as her trembling fingers gripped at the edges of her sweater. He watched in eager anticipation as she peeled the garment upwards, revealing her heavenly torso to him.

Bucky eyed the sight of her full breasts and erect nipples, in shameless indulgence. His mouth parched for a taste of her golden skin. He was suddenly aware of the heat and weight of her soft rump, on the tops of his thighs. Discarding the garment on the floor, Joanna planted her hands on the flat planes of his hard stomach and prowled closer.

He held her stare with breathless wonder. His clear gaze shifted down to admire her body in bleary-eyed lust. But then, his face tensed in concern at the sight of her bandaged knee, the white binding was stark against her complexion.

Joanna was being careful not to place any weight on her wound. Her left leg hung over the side of the couch, her foot firmly placed on the wooden floor, her juicy thigh pulled at a wide angle, as she half-straddled his waist. Bucky shifted up beneath her best-riding hold over him. Sitting upright, he hesitantly reached for her limb, gently curving his palm over the top of her knee, just above the bandage.

"Joanna, you shouldn't strain yourself." He whispered lovingly in a searching stare. Joanna grinned not meeting his gaze, her attention was captivated by something below, between them.

"You are the one who is straining." Bucky flinched and shivered when she wrapped her slender fingers around his cock. He hated to admit she wasn't wrong, he was hard and wanting once again, an unconscious reaction to her naked body on him.

"Jo—"

"I need you, babe." She cut in with a breathy, impatient whisper that enthralled him. He looked at her and was instantly breathless under the sight of her wanton gaze. Those endless dark wells of her eyes were glossy and hooded desire, focused entirely on him.

She shocked him further by releasing him and smoothly removing his hand from her thigh, and guiding his palm by the wrist to the apex of her torso. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sensation of her warm mound, cupped in his palm. He felt her body tremble between her legs, ill-prepared for her own bold action.

"So bad." She moaned and Bucky shuddered, stimulated by her raspy plea. His teeth clenched together in suppressed want, his pupils dilating in hot need as he stroked her soft, heated slit. He stifled a groan when he probed deeper, dipping into her wet heat, amazed by how dripping and ready she was for him.

He hadn't even touched her yet she was yearning deeply for him, her whole body pulsating with palpable need around his digits. He lost all reason, unable to think of anything else but plunging his cock into her, giving her exactly what she needed from him.

His gaze flitted up, darkening in controlled lust as he looked at her, his cock throbbing with renewed want. Joanna's stare snagged his and the sight of her tortured desperation, was the only answer he needed. Releasing her cunt, he reached up and cradled her face in both hands, and pulled her down to meet his waiting lips.

Their mouths met in teeth-clashing heat, bodies pressed together in desperate submission as Bucky slid his hands down her toned back to settle over her hips. Joanna hungrily guided the head of his cock to her slick folds before taking him in.

They groaned simultaneously never parting at the mouth. Bucky held on tightly as Joanna rutted against him with the prowess of a sexually depraved fanatic. Her kiss was intense, overwhelming him with her passion, but Bucky took the full grunt of her desire with a hunger of his own. Her warm curves molded against him, setting off a firestorm of reaction in his body, setting his skin ablaze.

He tangled his tongue around hers, as his hands explored up her back, pressing into every inch of skin that met his touch. She was trembling under each caress encouraging him to claim more of her soft body.

He broke the kiss, lungs burning as his swollen lips trailed down her throat to her chest, while slowly inching back. He gazed upon his wild temptress. Joanna's eyes were closed, lost to the maddening bliss of their union. She was gripping the armrest over his shoulders for support in her thrusts, caging him beneath her gleaming body and Bucky couldn't think of a better situation to be trapped in.

He shamelessly watched the movements of her divine torso, from the erotic cadence of her hips swiveling rhythmically, up the flat planes of her sculpted abdomen to her perky breasts. The sight of her bouncing bosom did arouse a primal thirst in him, his hands that were stilled on her back began to move again, along with his parted lips.

The way she cried out for him when he planted his open mouth over one erect nipple, sent a naughty thrill from the tips of his ears, straight down to his groin. He suckled harder, forcing her deeper into his hold as he lathered her hardened nub with greedy affection.

Joanna's hands were in his hair again, clutching at the back of his head, all actions stopping from the sheer intensity of the pleasure in his worship. The man knew every part of her that longed for him, she never had to voice her needs or instruct him on where to touch her, he operated on instinct alone and it was driving her to the brink of insanity.

Suddenly he caught her left wrist with his right hand, in a tough pressure that shocked her out of her pleasure. Her eyes shot open and Joanna wasn't given a moment to assess the situation. Bucky forced her around over him, while simultaneously sitting up.

She sat still straddling his lap, but turned away, bewildered by the sudden change in position as she found herself staring directly at their infamous red wall, across their bed. Her lips parted with every intention of questioning him, when she felt his hot breath, blowing against the shell of her ear, the hard planes of his dewy chest, flush against her back.

Her body instinctively shuddered in quiet obedience as he loomed from behind, like a phantom menace of heady sin. She could still feel him, throbbing between her legs, so wonderfully big and deep inside her, but Joanna realized, she was no longer in a position of domination.

"Jo..." He whispered in that sweet tormented way he always did, his breathy tone reaching depths of her heart she thought she had lost long ago. She felt his touch, gentle and tracing up the bows of her waist. Her skin tingled under his caress, feeling every whisper of contact trailing up to her chest. Along with his hands, his hot mouth touched her skin, along the bend of her neck, kissing and nipping at her skin in just the right spot that had her yielding back in pleasure.

As much as Bucky enjoyed toying with his love, her physical reactions only maddened him further. His touch was igniting, her pussy walls squeezed around him, and he stilled for a moment to gather his control and not give into the need to fuck her senseless just yet.

James nuzzled the back of her head, eased by the summery scent of her thick, inky curls tickling at the tip of his nose. He could hear her jagged breathing, trembling in his hold but not uttering a word of complaint over his pause in their lovemaking. He wondered if she was shocked by the sudden turn of events, as he groped her breasts from behind.

She moaned low, shimming against him as he kneaded her breasts, pinching her nipples between his deft fingers, simply enjoying her soft body. He could see their contrasting complexion, his alabaster hands against her sun-kissed flesh.

"Jo you feel so good." He murmured with a breathy sigh and gently, began to thrust up. Joanna met his tempo with practiced ease. Her soft bottom pushing back against him, the erotic sight of her rutting hips, made him groan in delight. Joanna's whimpering moans weren't helping him keep to his usual timing. He had to silence her and he did just that, by snaking his hand up and forcing her face by the jaw to meet his gaze and capturing her trembling lips.

Joanna couldn't think, only feel him, them, together in that same dance of sin that only grew in power every time they indulged in their passion for each other. As the pleasure consumed her in slow waves, she melted into his kiss, craning at the neck and hoping with all of her, the desire between them always bloomed like an immortal flower.

The tight, hot pressure of their union consumed them both. They reached a peak simultaneously. Bucky's back stiffened as he held her tight around the waist with his left arm. Joanna arched back into him, meeting her release as he pumped hard and hot into her body. The last tremors of their ecstasy faded to mere pleasing twitches as the couple collapsed back into the couch.

Joanna sighed, slumping back into him and enjoying the weight of his support beneath her. Despite the exertions, his body was still cold and soothing. Bucky breathed hard behind her, blinking up at the ceiling with his head resting back on the cushion. His eyes were reeling back into focus through the haze of his satiated pleasure.

He lowered his chin to assess his lover while smiling blissfully. Joanna had her eyes closed, relaxed back to in him, still indulging in the dreamy waves of her fading bliss. His smile widened, his arms that had loosened around her waist, squeezed in adoring affection. The weight of his touch seemed to drag Joanna out of her trance. Her long inky lashes fluttered up, revealing her gleaming dark eyes that regarded him.

He loved the sight of her flushed cheeks, so adorably shell pink. Craning at the neck, he reached forward and cupped the side of her face. Joanna sighed, nuzzling her nose into his touch while peering back at him from beneath her fluttering lashes, with her impish smile.

"Are you alright?" Bucky asked in soft concern, suddenly aware of her injured leg, twitching over his thigh. He didn't wait for a response, already inching his touch towards her knee to rub away any soreness she could be feeling.

"More." Bucky stilled, his attention snapping back to her face, in bewildered shock.

"What?" He asked, hoping he had misheard her slurred whisper. Joanna gazed back at him, slumped back against his chest within the crook of his metal arm, smiling languorously up at him. But he saw that familiar glint in her eyes again, the winking menace of need still brewing in her deep-set gaze. She reached up and cradled the side of his face, thumbing the bristly ends of his scruff as her eyes hooded over in desire.

"I want more." She said soundly and Bucky could only gape in wonderment. The woman was shameless in her demands, voicing her raunchy needs so boldly and expecting him to fulfill her every request as if he had no choice.

"You are insatiable." He remarked, trying to be critical but failing miserably from how difficult it was to hide his amusement. Joanna beamed up at him and then abruptly tilted up and kissed him. Bucky's eyes closed, melting into her affections, following her further into the comfort of the couch, covering her body with his as he settled between her outstretched legs.

Joanna reclined back, gathering her submissive soldier into her arms, loving the sight of his big, naked body slanted over her.

"Say's the man who is already bam and ready to wham." She commented, eyeing the sight of her between his legs, hard and erect for the second round, well third for him.

---

Bucky gazed down at his sleeping lover, with tender fascination.

It was nearly midnight and Joanna had dozed off after several rounds of passionate lovemaking. The woman was a wild creature, all desire, and joy that Bucky was always willing to be swept up by. It amazed him how peacefully she slept, so unbothered after making his body ache in places he didn't know were possible.

James had to admit, the woman was difficult to please, but it was a challenge he loved and clearly energized by. He woke up from his slumber at an unusual time and was not shocked awake by nightmares.

He figured he would take the time to write in his journal a little, it was an eventful day after all, but the more he wrote, the sooner he realized his tone in scripture was a lot more romantic. He usually detailed everything rather monotonously, but as of late, his writing has been rather sentimental.

He paused in his task, rested his pen into the spine of his open book, and glanced at his sleeping companion. Joanna was slumbering on her front, the side of her face turned to him, resting on the swans down pillow.

Her long arms hugged the cushion to her head, her back exposed to her lower half, covered partially by the tangled sheets around her legs. The woman was such a chaotic sleeper, constantly robbing the man of the coverlet in her dormant antics.

Bucky wanted to capture her sleeping state now, smitten by the sight of her, so beautifully serene in sated bliss. Then, he was reminded of his camera, which could achieve just what he desired.

Slyly, Bucky set his book on the floor beside the mattress and reached for his camera. The hard plastic was stiff in his grip as he twisted back around to face Joanna. He sat up quietly, bringing his arms up and balancing the camera, angling the lens through the smaller visual within the device.

He paused when he realized the flasher was still on and quickly adjusted the settings. He didn't want to disturb her sleep or alert her to his new-found hobby. Bucky knew if he was caught by her, it would just be another thing Joanna could tease him about. He didn't need the woman collecting more verbal ammunition against him.

Nervously, he adjusted his focus again and pressed down on the button. Bucky tensed immediately the camera responded with that odd clattering sound of printing paper. But thankfully, Joanna didn't stir and Bucky silently pulled the film out of its projecting slit.

Returning the camera to its spot beside the bed, Bucky waited patiently for the photograph to develop. He watched the ink reveal the picture and stared in growing fascination at the likeliness of her presented to him.

Joanna looked so angelica, with her pretty, soft face and closed eyes, lost to her dreams. Her jet-black hair seemed matte in colour in the natural filter of the Polaroid print. The plaid blue of their cover was stark against her bronze complexion. His heart burned with the love he felt for such a small token of memory. He wanted to keep this particular picture close, to stare and be reminded of what treasures he had, in his dark times.

Smiling with impish happiness over his accomplishment. Bucky tucked the image discreetly into his book, slipped the novel beneath his pillow, and reclined back into the mattress.

The weight of his presence beside her, cause Joanna to stir. He stilled in attentive awareness as the woman curled into his side, burrowing herself between his arm and ribs. Grinning in private amusement, he pulled her deeper into his hold.

Like clockwork, Joanna's leg rose up like a phantom reflex and thumped heavily into the base of his abdomen, in greedy claim. Bucky wasn't surprised in the slight, expecting the weight of her leg and rubbing her thigh in silent greeting.

Slowly, James began to drift back into his slumber, his face buried into her soft, fluffy curls, as he allowed the soothing scent of her hair, to seduce him back to rest.

---

Will Jocky head out to Berlin next on their anniversary adventure? Or will it be more adventure than they hoped?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON EL MAÑANA!

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