From the author's desk: A little late this week. Sorry, everyone! But the thing is I've been busy with real life stuff-I've been in the middle of moving and settling into my new apartment, acclimating to a new city (and subsequently, a new public transportation system), and just generally trying to make sure I have all my ducks in a row for the start of my internship tomorrow, and the beginning of grad school next week. So yes, very busy.

But thank you again to all of you who are reading avidly, and leaving me such wonderful reviews and follows. You guys totally rock my world! And those of you who are new, welcome!

This chapter sees a little brightness before we plunge back into the dark next chapter. I'd love to know what you all think of where I'm leading Freya, and if you think she's comparable to who she was in Camelot. I tried hard to make her as such, as well as add some depth since we saw little of her on screen, but the beauty of fanfiction is that this is just MY interpretation of her.

This installment wasn't possible without the wonderful support of my beta team, CaptainOzone and ExcaliburMaiden. If you want great reading material, go check out their stories. You will not go wrong, I guarantee it.

Please enjoy, and see you all next Sunday!

Disclaimer: IDOM.

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Chapter 3

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He sets her pyre burning brightly on the water.

Merlin's heart is torn to shreds.

In spite of everything, he still loves her, and he always will.

But he can't deny that, by killing her, Arthur gave her what he could not.

Freedom.

xxx

Things have been better since that late night Friday confessional.

Merlin has helped Freya find a support group to go to once a week near the university. He's also helped her find a therapist that his great uncle referred him to—a kind woman named Alice.

Nowadays, Freya can be found hanging around their flat when she's not working, either spending time with him or the girls. Besides regular lunches or dinners or shopping trips, the three of them have joined a self-defense class together. Merlin doesn't know what they have discussed on their "girls' nights" when they kick Merlin and Arthur out of the flat, but Freya has mentioned that they are very accepting and that having them in her life is one of the best things that's happened to her in a long, long time.

Merlin is happy to see she's settling into his life so well, all the while rebuilding herself.

He still hasn't told her about his own battles, and he can see that Freya has questions for him—how he knows what sort of support she needs, how he's able to adapt when she's having a bad day, how he knows how to bring her out of a flashback gently, how he's aware of what makes her uncomfortable without even having to ask.

But he's not ready to talk about it, and she seems to know that, and he appreciates her even more for letting him keep that part of himself.

Things have been good.

He hopes that they continue to get even better.

Content with how his life is going for now, Merlin is neck-deep in bestiaries on supposedly magical creatures and studying old manuscripts in the library for a section of his dissertation on the presence of the occult and its related culture in pre-medieval and medieval England. He's busily examining a drawing of a giant winged panther that reminds him of one of his recent dreams when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

"Yeah?" he answers, distracted by the Old English description beneath the image, translating in his head as he reads.

"Merlin, can you come home?" Morgana sounds apologetic and worried, and it immediately catches his attention.

"What's wrong? Has something happened? Are you okay?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Freya seems a bit shaken, though."

Merlin straightens in his seat. "Freya?"

"just come home Merlin. Please. She needs you, I think."

He nods and begins packing up his laptop and papers, adding the book with the image of the flying panther to the pile of things to go into his bag. "Right, okay. Yeah. I'm leaving now. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

They are the longest fifteen minutes of his life, and it's enough time for everything from Freya dying (completely illogical) to Freya being pregnant (also not logical considering they haven't reached that point yet) to Freya deciding to break up with him (possible, though he seriously hopes not) to shoot through his mind.

And then, suddenly, he's home, and Morgana is opening the door before he can even finish unlocking it, and is pulling him inside and pushing him toward the living room where he sees Freya.

There is a bruise on her cheek and she is wrapped in his favorite blanket—one his mother made and sent for him when he was starting university—on the end of the couch by the window. The nails on her right hand are chipped, and the skin covering her knuckles is broken and bruised as well but no longer bleeding.

She's staring out the window, deeply lost in thought.

"Freya?" Merlin asks to get her attention, approaching her from the front of the coffee table, not wanting to startle her.

She jerks slightly anyway, and looks up at him with wide, unreadable brown eyes.

Merlin sits on the coffee table across from her, gingerly taking her hands in his, having to fight with himself a bit to not rub circles into her skin for fear of hurting her knuckles more.

"What happened?" he whispers, his gaze skipping between the bruise on her cheek and her eyes.

"I got mugged," she murmurs back, "on my way to work, near where I transfer buses. He grabbed me from behind, and he had a knife. I headbutted him." She lets out a shaky laugh.

"He loosened his grip on me, but he grabbed the chain that I use to clip my wallet to my belt and pulled on it. It broke the chain," she says, and pulls out the remainder of the chain from within the folds of the blanket. Merlin takes the chain from her hand, fingering it carefully before setting it down on the coffee table and turning his attention back to her.

"What happened after that?" he asks softly, waiting for her to gather her thoughts again.

"When I tried to catch my balance I stumbled forward, and I managed to step on his foot with the heel of my shoe, which made him mad. He yelled and came at me again, but this time I elbowed him in the gut so I could turn around and face him. He dropped the knife—didn't go down though—and he came at me again, with a punch. He got me, but I moved my head when I saw it coming so he got my cheek instead of my eye." She stops to trace the bruise on her cheek with her index finger, Merlin's eyes following the movement intently. His hands clench around hers in a flash of anger before loosening their grip again.

"Before he could come at me again, I screamed, and punched him as hard as I could in the nose. I think I broke it, because there was blood dripping down his shirt. Then I kicked him in the crotch and ran like hell and got on the next bus that I saw." She laughs hysterically again, and Merlin squeezes her hands to comfort her. "I think I scared the driver—he didn't bother me about not paying the fare."

She's still laughing madly, and Merlin smiles slightly in pride, but feels his anger still burning hotly in his veins and a heavy sense of guilt settling in his stomach. Things like this aren't supposed to keep happening to her. If only he could have been with her. He isn't the best fighter, and he is more than thankful for the self-defense classes Freya and the girls are taking, but at least if he'd been there she wouldn't have been alone.

"I got attacked today, and I was able to fight back. And I won! I should be happy. I'm alive, and mostly okay. I have bruises and scratches and no wallet and a broken phone thanks to my mugger, but that's it."

Any trace of a smile slips away as he listens to her, his anger and guilt mounting, and he gently brushes a kiss to her injured knuckles.

"But you know, there's something I don't understand. Why…why do people keep trying to hurt me, Merlin? What have I done to them?"

Her shuddering breath hitches, and Merlin watches helplessly as she begins to cry. "Why do people keep trying to hurt me?"

Merlin gathers Freya into his arms and settles himself on the couch, a bundle of blanket-wrapped Freya in his lap. He holds her close and brushes a kiss to her temple.

"The thing I've learned," he whispers sadly, "is that no matter how much better we get, monsters don't go away. We may have good people with us now and we may have the strength now to deal with bad people, but that doesn't mean that there aren't still bad people out there, and that doesn't mean we're immune to them either. As much as we might like to believe it, we're not invincible."

He holds her closer. "I'm sorry that creep attacked you. I'm sorry you were attacked again. It isn't fair, and it's wrong. You've got every right to be able to walk down the street and live your life in peace, without the fear of being hurt. But you know what?" He pauses to let pride seep into his voice before speaking again, "You're a brave, fierce woman. You just came out of a fight that could have seen you severely injured or worse, and you won. You did that, Freya, and no one else, and I am so, so proud of you. Don't let him take that from you. Don't let him and others like him stop you from becoming the sort of person you want to be."

Freya sniffs and looks up at him, a smile starting to stretch across her face.

There's a brightness in her eyes that was missing earlier, and Merlin is happy to see it back.

"I love you," he says fervently, letting the sentiment convey everything else he wants to say but can't quite verbalize. He's about to kiss her when Freya gives him a full-blown grin and fiercely kisses him instead, the motion causing him to fall into the back of the sofa. Not that he minds, considering the way he's smiling into the kiss.

"Oi! We've got our own rooms for a reason, Merlin!" Arthur's voice rings out, causing them to break apart for air and look over at Morgana, who has come into the living room while holding a mug and toying with the string of a teabag, and Arthur, who's apparently just come home from work.

Merlin looks back at Freya and grins, taking in her dancing eyes and soft smile, while pointing lazily to the adjacent armchair that Arthur frequently uses. "You're one to talk, Arthur, considering how many times I've come across you and Gwen on that chair there."

"You've got to admit he's got a point, brother dear," Morgana chimes in, and Merlin can hear her smirk, which causes Arthur to splutter indignantly and Merlin and Freya to laugh at their friend's expense.

A phone ringing from one of the bedrooms draws Merlin's roommates away, but Merlin refuses to take his eyes off of his girlfriend. He is leaning forward to kiss Freya again when Arthur's shout breaks Merlin's concentration.

"WHAT? BUT SHE SIGNED A CONTRACT WITH US! SHE CAN'T JUST—WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN A SCHEDULING ERROR?" Merlin glances up at Freya before looking in the direction of the hallway where Arthur and his rooms are located. Whatever was going on didn't sound good at all. "Are you telling me I don't have a model because YOU screwed up?"

There are a couple minutes of silence from Arthur as Freya and Merlin eavesdrop in curiosity. They both wince when Arthur starts yelling again. "Find someone else? Find someone else? WHERE THE HELL AM I-? Hello? Hello?"

Merlin hears Arthur's door slam, and the thundering of footsteps in the hallway. "Here he comes. Brace yourself!" he jokingly tells Freya, who snickers and shakes her head in response.

"THAT WEASEL JUST HUNG UP ON ME!" Arthur yells as he storms back into the living room, crushing his mobile in his hand and throwing himself into the armchair before jumping back up to pace frantically back and forth. "It's five days before the shoot! Five days! How am I going to find a model in that amount of time? It took us over six weeks and more than 500 models to find Vivian! The product launch is in two weeks!"

Merlin is starting to get dizzy watching Arthur pace, and shakes his head a bit to clear it.

Morgana, hearing Arthur's commotion, has also come back into the room. She's wearing her lab coat, but still has an earring in her left earlobe as she gets ready for an evening shift at work. Glancing at Merlin, she raises an eyebrow. Merlin just shakes his head at her and mouths, "Vivian quit," while shifting as Freya slides off his lap to sit on the sofa next to him. He then settles his arm around her shoulders. Nodding with a roll of her eyes, Morgana disappears back into her room.

"What's going on?" Freya whispers. She's trying not to show it, but Arthur's outburst is scaring her, and Merlin rubs her arm soothingly to let her know everything's all right.

"Arthur does marketing for his mum Ygraine's design house. They're getting ready to launch this season's evening wear, but from what I gather, they just lost their model," Merlin explains.

"Ygraine? As in Ygraine du Bois? She's Arthur's mum?" Freya squeaks out, eyes wide in amazement. Merlin nods in confirmation.

"Wait!" Merlin returns to watching Arthur as he stops mid-pace, eyes wide with an idea. "MORGANA!"

Merlin stifles a laugh while Freya looks at him quizzically. Merlin winks back at Freya and puts a finger to his lips, telling to her keep watching. He's fairly certain he knows what Morgana is going to say.

"The answer is no, Arthur!" Morgana calls, and Merlin can hear her coming back to the living room.

"But—!"

"But nothing," Morgana says firmly, and this time she is fully dressed for work, with no make-up or jewelry and her hair tied back into a sensible plait down her back. "I love fashion, I love your mum, and I love your mum's fashion, but I'm not modeling for your mum's design house."

"But Morgana, I'm your brother. You can't not help me!" Arthur pleads with her. Merlin's shoulders are shaking as he struggles to keep his laughter contained.

"Mmhmm. You are my brother. Therefore, I have every right not to help you, because you are not my boss," Morgana responds with a wicked grin. "Now, I am going to work, because this week I have the last shift, and there is an experiment running that has my name on it that will one day lead to me winning a Nobel Prize and having the rest of the world bow at my feet. Have a good evening, you three."

Merlin watches Morgana stalk off, leaving a confused Arthur in her wake.

Unable to hold in his amusement anymore, Merlin laughs aloud uncontrollably, and tears trickle from his eyes in his mirth.

"Merlin," Freya chides scoldingly, though she too is laughing.

"My sister just left me," Arthur says, looking very much like a lost little boy.

"Yep, she did," Merlin says, and continues to laugh.

Arthur groans in response and buries his face in his hands. "Oh shut up, Merlin."

Merlin's chuckles finally subside as Arthur drops into the armchair, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Dammit, what am I going to do?"

"What about some of the other models you'd seen?" Merlin suggests. "I know Vivian is the one you wanted, but wouldn't some of the others work?"

"No, none of them had quite what we were looking for."

"Well, what are you looking for?"

"We wanted someone fresh faced, youthful. I dunno, the kind of girl who you could look at and give your heart to. A natural beauty, you know? Vivian's personality left a lot to be desired, honestly, but she could do sweet better than any of the others we'd seen when we did test shots," Arthur explains.

Merlin glances at Freya, who gives him a confused look. While they understood what Arthur was looking for, neither one of them knew what a test shot was and how that made a difference.

"I'd ask Elena, but as lovely and sweet as she is, she's got the coordination of a newborn colt," Arthur goes on, clearly not paying attention to his friends. "If only we could get someone like you, Freya. You're perfect—you're sweet, you're beautiful, you're graceful, and you've got a wonderful smile and a great personality."

Merlin's gaze snaps to Arthur as his friend realizes what he just said. "Oh."

Merlin raises his eyebrow at his friend. He knows what's coming. "Oh?"

Arthur looks back at him, and Merlin can see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he nods and starts to grin. "Oh-ho. Yes. Yes. That's it."

"Arthur," Merlin says in warning.

"Oh Merlin, why the hell not? It's a brilliant idea! She's perfect for the job! And best of all, my mother will love her!"

"Wait, I missed something," Freya says finally, looking between the two of them. "Did Arthur figure out what to do?"

"Yes!" Arthur exclaims.

Merlin shakes his head.

"Merlin?" Merlin sighs and looks at his girlfriend for a moment.

Brown eyes, warm and loving and lovely, look back at him. He glances at the bruise on her cheek, and down at her broken nails and bruised knuckles. He thinks of her just a few months ago, timid and hesitant but still so wonderful, and he can see how far she's come in the last few months. She walks a little taller now, and smiles a little more easily, and laughs a little more openly.

He's starting to see who Freya really is, who she is truly meant to be.

But she's not there yet.

He bites his lip as he thinks. Maybe this could be good for her. Maybe this could give her something that he can't give her himself.

Because Merlin knows that no matter how many times he tells her that he thinks she's beautiful, she doesn't quite believe him. Merlin knows that she has little love for her reflection and for whatever she has hidden behind her long sleeved tops.

He and the others are doing their best, but he doesn't know how long it will take for Freya to learn to love herself too.

Maybe this experience could give her a little more strength to do it.

Merlin glances away from Freya's gaze and meets Arthur's wide, hopeful blue eyes. "Okay. But you've got to convince her first."

"Convince who of what? Who are you two talking about?" Freya asks, and Merlin grins. His girlfriend really is just too cute when she's confused.

"Freya, I've got a proposition for you," Arthur says, taking her attention away from Merlin to him, only to freeze in confusion. "Wait, what happened? Who did that to you? Merlin, what happened to her?"

Merlin wants to roll his eyes at Arthur as he finally takes in the details he missed before. Oblivious idiot.

"Um, I-I was mugged on my way to work," Freya says quietly, tucking further into Merlin's side. Merlin responds by tightening the arm he has around her shoulders, and taking her uninjured hand in his and squeezing gently. "He took my wallet and broke my phone, but I managed to give him a broken nose and kick him where it hurts."

Merlin drops a kiss to the top of her head, and a proud smile stretches across his face.

Arthur looks like he can't decide between being impressed by Freya's resilience and courage or incensed that no one protected her. Merlin watches as he shakes his head, letting the anger go.

"Well, all I can say is that you clearly fight better than your boyfriend. Well done."

Merlin gives an indignant "Oi!" and shoots his friend a glare. "I could very well change my mind and say no again."

"Yes, but then you wouldn't be leaving the choice up to Freya, meaning we'd smack you twice—once from Freya for not letting her decide, and again from me because you're being a jerk boyfriend. Actually, I don't know why I even have to convince you in the first place!"

Merlin blushes at Arthur's words. The blond prat has a point—he was being unfair to Freya earlier.

"Right. Sorry Freya," he mumbles, feeling sheepish.

"Thank you Merlin, but I still don't know what it is Arthur wants me to do."

"I want you to become the headliner for my mother's evening collection this season," Arthur straightforwardly says to her. "You would be absolutely perfect for it for all the previously mentioned reasons, Freya—really you would! And you've got one thing that Vivian and the other models didn't have."

"What's that?" Freya's voice sounds slightly dazed to Merlin's ears, and he wonders if she's responding to the last comment or the concept as a whole of her as a model.

"You're down-to-earth. You're real, Freya, in a way a lot of these other models aren't. And we could really use that with this collection—"

"No, no you can't be serious. Me? Have you met me? I can barely talk to new people! Arthur, I'd be absolute rubbish as a model!" Freya exclaims, shaking her head. "I'm not confident. I'm really not worth looking at. I don't talk to anyone except you four. And there is…so much you don't know about me." Merlin bites his lip at Freya's words, hearing the pain in her voice, because while he knows that Arthur is aware that Freya goes to a support group and a therapist, he doesn't know the reasons for attending both.

He knows that her thinking won't change overnight, but it still hurts to hear her speak so negatively about herself.

When he gives it some thought, he can see it in his head—Freya in an elegant evening gown, hair styled and made up, posing for the camera with a twinkle in her eye and a small smile.

People really would love her.

Merlin knows she has everything she needs to be brilliant at this.

But she has to decide that for herself.

Still, a little nudge couldn't hurt, right?

"Why don't you try it out?" he suggests, looking back and forth between Freya and Arthur. "At least meet with Ygraine and whoever else, do some of the preliminary shoot things to get a feel for it. Then, if you're really uncomfortable, you can say no. And until you give Arthur a final answer, he can keep looking for a replacement model and keep her on standby."

Merlin looks at his friend as he thinks the idea over, then back at Freya, who's looking down at her lap and playing with her fingers.

"Merlin's suggestion is okay with me," Arthur says to Freya. "It's not a bad plan, really. Didn't know you had a brain up there after all, Merlin."

Merlin rolls his eyes at his prat of a roommate before gently bumping Freya's shoulder with his own. She peeks up at him, biting her lip nervously. He smiles back at her encouragingly, willing her to take a chance.

"So?" he whispers to her, bumping her shoulder once more.

Merlin listens as she takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out and watches as her back straightens and her shoulders relax. She meets Arthur's gaze while grasping Merlin's hand tightly; he can feel the slight tremble of her fingers against his own.

"If I'm not comfortable, I can back out?" Freya confirms.

"Absolutely," Arthur responds with a firm nod.

Merlin meets Freya's gaze for a moment before she gives Arthur her answer.

"Okay, I'll do it."