Wonderful to see you guys like this one, because I enjoy writing it! Thanks for all the reviews and alerts, they really make my day. Without further ado here is the next chapter!
Hundan.
Three weeks was a long time to be in a coma for, and the longer Tony lay there unable to move, unable to talk back to her, the more she was beginning to believe that he wasn't going to wake up. Every single day since she found out, she'd been here. Whether it be for the whole day or just at night after work, she'd been here, by his side.
Work was strange, it wasn't right without him there. And it didn't help that Tim had been silently suffering, saying he was all right but really he was still traumatized by what had happened. She had gone over to Tim's place one evening and he actually told her exactly what had happened, and just how terrifying it had been. She and Tim had grown together a little that night, and Tim was very thankful for the help she gave him, even if she was just there for him to let it all out. Because it's not good to keep things bottled up inside, they destroy you.
Gibbs seemed the same, going back into his normal routine, but she knew he was very far from the same man that he was. Ducky was much the same, suffering in his own silence, what was it with their whole team in suffering in their own pain silently? It wasn't right, but yet she had done the same thing for years and she still did. The only one that wasn't was Abby, and her pain was fairly obvious to anyone who entered her lab. She wasn't the same, she was a lot more Goth and a lot less happy.
This event had changed each of their lives.
It was hard when his father had come, because she never thought she would see that man breakdown, but she had, because he'd taken it hard. And she also thought Anthony Senior would never make her cry, but he had, when he'd admitted that he'd lost his wife in a hospital when she was far too young, he didn't want to have that happen again, not when Tony was the last thing he had left.
As she walked into the hospital that evening she was greeted by the floor nurse and Tony's nurse, it was the same every day and they were so used to her coming and going now, it was nothing new. She made her way to Tony's room and took up her place on the seat next to his bed, the amount of hours she spent sitting in that chair was far more than she'd spent in her own apartment in the past few weeks.
She understands that every day when she talks to him, tells him what her day involved and what case they had been working on, that he cannot hear her, that she is pretty much talking to herself. But no one holds that against her, Tony's nurse told her that everyone does it, because it keeps hope within them. And Ziva's holds onto the idea of hope, because all she can do is hope. Even if her hope is fading the longer he's in the coma.
"Nothing much happened today, you haven't missed much this week actually" she begins to chat away to him. She smiles at him when she thinks about a witty response he would have replied with.
"You know we really should get you shaved, even if a bit of facial hair makes you look good, it's just not the federal agent side of you, you know?" she says to him as she brushes her fingers across the stubble on his face. She tries to keep him looking sharp, but he hasn't had a shave since the first week in his coma when she did it for him. Her other hand toys with his hand, she's held onto his hand more in the past weeks than she has with everyone in all her lifetime.
"Tim is getting a little better this week, he's still not the same and he reminds me of you a bit when he starts trying to hide his emotions, but I'm trying to get him to stop that, because I know you never liked doing that" she explains, running her fingers across his. "But you just couldn't help it sometimes, but you were getting better at showing your emotions, and so was I" she said.
"You know I was close to telling you about how I felt about you" she admits. She finds it hard to say that, even if she knows he cannot hear her. She doesn't know why she is admitting it to him, it just sort of comes out.
"Because I know we were close, and things between us had always been different, but I was always scared" she says as her hand grips his a little tighter. "It would be dangerous for us, because of how much we would be risking, and I never could really bring myself to risk you as my partner" she continued. All she got in reply was the hum of machines and the sound of the oxygen pump working away.
"I couldn't risk that, not ever" she says and she felt her hand grip his even tighter. She didn't think she moved her hand, she didn't squeeze tighter, this didn't make sense. Then suddenly she realized, it wasn't her hand that was holding on tighter, it was his.
Was she imaging this?
She let go of his hand and looked down at it, it moved again. His fingers twitched.
"Tony?" she whispered, her heart was pounding a mile a minute in her chest. Was this just something people's bodies did in a coma and it didn't mean anything? Or did it mean he was responsive? His hand moved again, this time it made a fist.
"Nurse Paige" Ziva called out towards the corridor. Paige was Tony's attending nurse who checked up on him in the ward he now stayed in. Paige walked into the room when she heard Ziva call out, it wasn't often the woman called out for any assistance.
"His hand is moving" Ziva stated as she pointed down towards the moving appendage. Paige was a little more urgent in her steps towards the bed than she had been coming to the room just now. She saw it flicker, she looked up and smiled at Ziva.
"This is good" Paige said to Ziva, and the other woman's face lit up.
"Is he waking up?" Ziva asked. She wished he would just wake up. Ziva felt disappointed when Paige shook her head.
"It does not mean he is waking up yet, it just means that his body is still functioning, it may mean he may wake up, it may mean nothing, but it makes things a little more likely" Paige explained to her. Ziva just nodded quietly and watched as Paige took a few tests, while she did that Ziva gathered Tony's moving hand back in hers and felt the movement that faded after a short while.
Normally she would go home and get some sleep before the next day at work, but tonight she was staying here, right by his side. Paige had even gone home herself and the night shift staff had taken over. Nothing else had happened after his hand moving.
It was getting late and Ziva was sitting there, half asleep and smiling at Tony, running her fingertips through his very short hair, avoiding the stitches on the wound to the left side of his head. He won't like the new hair style the doctors gave him, because Tony treasured his sandy brown locks and they had been shaved right off. At least he's grown some back, it reminds her off the buzz cut Tim used to have years ago when he cut his hair off.
"You are going to be so upset when you wake up and find all your hair gone" she smiles down at him, because it was true. Even if he'd been in a coma, he will be more worried about the fact his hair was gone.
"It looks good though, sort of like Christian Bale as John Connor, you remember when you made me watch that movie?" she asked, chuckling as she remembered. "It wasn't too bad after all, because the two lead men were very attractive" she smiled. She remembered just how much she rubbed that fact in just to annoy him a little, which it did, but he honestly didn't take it to heart. He never did, because he always knows she's just joking around with him.
Tim thinks she's a little crazy, with how much she talks to Tony like this. He voiced his concern to her one night because it wasn't really a thing he would have pictured her doing. But then again Tony's accident had changed them all a little. She thinks it's strange too sometimes, even if she continues to do it despite the fact. Because it makes her happy, it makes her feel as though he is still here with them, that he hasn't been lost yet. And that's what keeps her going.
Later she will wake up to find out she fell asleep in her chair.
When she does wake it's not on her own account, it's on the account of trashing and shaking of the bed her head rests on. She lifts her head up as soon as she can, and her heart stops. Right before it starts beating again by thumping so hard against her ribcage she thought it was going to break through her chest.
Tony was awake.
But, she didn't like it right now. Not while he thrashed against the bed, choking on the tubes down his throat. His pain was very obvious.
"Joan!" Ziva screamed out to the night nurse. And she didn't hear footsteps soon enough so she didn't stop. "Joan, come quick!" she continued to yell. Next minute the devil herself came running into the room –okay Ziva isn't a bad person but Joan just really dislikes her, and anyone else who stays overnight, so Abby named her the devil of graveyard shift.
As soon as Joan saw what was going on she rushed over to Tony, put a hand on his shoulder and told him to relax or it was going to hurt, Tony didn't relax for some reason and Joan sighed but continued. Joan called for the doctor on staff tonight and he came running in shortly after.
"He's not calming down" Joan said to Gareth, who was the doctor on duty tonight.
"Tony, you need to keep calm, you are in the hospital, my name is Doctor Gareth Thomas" Gareth explained, trying to calm Tony down. Ziva didn't like how things were going, because Tony still didn't relax and he trashed more, which wasn't helping anyone. Joan held down on both of his shoulders to help restrain his movement. "We are going to take the tube out, okay?" Gareth added as he gripped onto Tony's breathing tube. Tony settled only a slight bit and nodded ever so faintly. Then Gareth pulled the tube free from his throat.
Tony choked and coughed as he attempted to take the breaths on his own. Another thing Ziva was finding hard to watch, because it looked rather painful. Joan placed an oxygen mask on his face to help his breathing and Tony clung to it with his hand, because yeah, that had helped.
"Can you hear me clearly Tony?" Gareth asked, checking to see how his hearing was. There was so much possibility for things to be wrong with Tony, so he had to make sure. He'd been in a coma for a long time after having a serious accident, one which some people don't ever wake up from. Tony nodded slowly as he took deep breaths, the air from his lungs fogging up the plastic mask around his face.
"That's good" Gareth said as he looked to Joan who was noting things down on paper. Ziva noticed that Tony was moving okay on his own, and that was also good. Things were so good, and she couldn't be happier in this moment. Tony pulled the mask from his face, he was gasping for air, but it looked as though he needed to say something.
"Why am I here?" he asked, his voice so raw and rough. Gareth lifted the mask back over Tony's face and placed a hand on his shoulder, he was trying to be comforting.
"Tony you were in an accident, you were shot" Gareth explained and Ziva watched as Tony's eyes went wide and she took a step closer to his bedside, his eyes flickered to her but they went straight back to Gareth, like seeing her meant nothing. That was strange.
"Shot?" he asked incredulously as he pulled the mask away again, like getting shot was the craziest thing to happen to him. Like it wasn't normal. Because even though it sounds terrible, in their line of work getting shot was pretty normal.
"Yes, you were shot when you went out to a homicide call at work" Gareth explained. It was normal for people not to remember the incident, but something felt off.
"Homicide? What work?" he asked, freaking out a little. Ziva didn't like this.
"Why doesn't he remember?" Ziva then asked Gareth, a little scared, the worried look on the doctors face didn't help.
"Tony do you remember going to work the morning before your accident?" Gareth asked. He had his suspicions, but he wants to see how bad they really are. Tony shook his head.
"No, I don't know what job you are talking about" he rasped, confused. Gareth hadn't thought it was this bad. Things didn't look good.
"Come on Tony, at NCIS, with me" Ziva stated, butting in. Tony turned and looked at her, stared at her strangely. He shook his head, more confused than ever before.
"I'm sorry, I don't know you" Tony said, simply. Like that one single comment hadn't ripped her heart out and stomped all over it. She was his partner, she's not meant to be forgotten by him of all people. She looked over at Gareth, tears shining in her eyes.
"It's worse than I thought" Gareth whispered to his nurse.