Here we are again with another.
I've been working all weekend but I managed to get this done in between work call outs. I am glad to hear your thoughts on the last chapter, they were really appreciated and I hope this next one is enjoyable.
Hundan.
She's as calm as she can be when she returns to the bullpen, because Tony had improved her mood and made her smile, so she could maybe last the rest of the day without having an emotional breakdown. She hates to think that's she's lost so much of her self-control when it comes to emotions but over the years she's slowly opened up more and more and now after the accident she cannot help but let it out, because he was her rock that held her in check and now it's just different. She cannot rely on him exactly like she used to.
She lets out a relieving breath when it's only McGee who is in the office.
"I had wondered where you had gotten to" he asked, giving her a smile. She and Tim seemed to be a lot closer lately, it's probably because they had no one else to be close to with Tony gone. Gibbs must not have informed Tim that she was out.
"Just needed a little air" she explained as she took her seat behind her desk. Tim understood as soon as he saw the look she gave him. And he gets it, he doesn't want anyone siting in Tony's desk as much as she does, however it always means a little more to Ziva because she and Tony will always be more personal than he and Tony.
"Where's Gibbs?" she then asks, she has her suspicions where and who with, but Tim will set those straight for her if she's wrong.
"With Agent Carter and Vance, discussing his temporary position" McGee explained. Ziva's suspicions had been right. She didn't like the fact he was staying, but maybe she'll just have to get used to it, just like she has to get used to Tony not remembering. This was not easy, to say the least. Maybe it would be okay if her best friend was there to tell her it was all okay and put a movie on and make her pancakes for dinner, but he's not. And that's her main problem right now and she cannot help but to keep thinking about it.
"I do not like this" she voiced to him, even if he already knows as much without her needing to tell him so.
"Neither do I, but it's something we have to deal with because we don't know how long it will take for Tony to get back into work, and you know how hard it's been one man down these past few weeks" he explained to her and she needs someone to tell her, again and again, because she's needs to constantly reminded so she can try focus on the reason why this is all happening. And that everything is being done to help her and the team.
"I sound selfish" she admitted, because if she saw herself that's exactly what she would think. Because she sort of is, she's not thinking about the team and how long it could be that they suffer one man down just because she's not happy about it. That's just not how the workplace works in life, it doesn't go according to plan. In the end your job is your job and you're not always going to love everything about it, even if she loved her job to no end. It still had its faults.
"It's fine for you to feel like this, no one holds it against you. If I had it my way I would prefer not to have anyone else sit there at his desk but it's not easy a man down and I'll live with this if it lets me go home at a somewhat reasonable hour each night" McGee says and she sometimes forgets how good he can be at giving pep talks. And again, he's right. She would like it too if she was home at a reasonable hour at night, because one man down in the squad means much more work for the less of them. If that's the case and she's working her butt off, when will she get time to go see Tony? And work on helping him remember? She won't. And she cannot give that up, not when it's so important to getting Tony back at his desk across from her.
Given it will be hard but she will do this and try put her feelings aside. But if this new guy so much as oversteps her comfort zone with him at the desk across from hers, he'll hear about it. And her bark would only be the beginning so he better tread lightly.
"You are right Tim" she agreed and he looked at her because he thought it would take a little more convincing for her to cave in. But so far her day has gone from good to worse, so maybe she didn't need that much convincing. "He's excited about seeing you tonight by the way" she said changing the subject. She needs to get her thoughts together, they were a mess a lot of the time lately. He knows who she's talking about of course, because there would be no other that she would talk about with a little smile lifting her face. So that's where she had been.
And he's happy to hear that news because he's also excited to go see Tony for the first time properly since his accident.
Tim watched carefully as Agent Carter came down the stairs with Gibbs from the director's office, in particularly he watched Ziva very carefully. It looked from afar that she wasn't looking, but if you knew her well enough you could tell she was. She was just ninja about it.
However when Gibbs walked into the bullpen she looked up because he was going to say something important. She just knew.
"Agent Carter will be staying with us until Tony can have an evaluation and then we'll go from there" Gibbs stated, looking at Ziva most of the time that he spoke, something else McGee didn't miss. Tim was the first to stand and introduce himself, shaking his hand. He'd seen him before but as soon as Ziva had stormed off when he said who he was and what he was doing here, Vance had pretty much shown up and collected him to take him upstairs before Tim could even say hello.
And being the good little agent she was Ziva was the next to stand and shake his hand, even if she didn't like the idea of what he was doing here, she would accept him. As long as he doesn't step over that boundary. And Agent Carter is wary when he shakes her hand, she can tell. And she doesn't blame him for doing so, considering her reaction when he first met her.
Gibbs tells Carter to take Tony's desk and the only way Ziva knows why he let him do so is that Tony's not gone, it's not the same as when she tried to sit at Kate's desk. And suddenly, she realizes just how they all felt when she first arrived and tried to take Kate spot. It was horrible.
Carter sits in his chair and he can feel her staring at him so he avoids that eye contact with her. She feels so horrible right now, but she cannot help it, it's her protective side blooming.
Gibbs sits at his desk then and he turns to Ziva but she doesn't look at him, she cannot do it, she's too busy watching Carter at Tony's desk. He's looking around wondering if he should touch anything, or what he should do. It seems as though he's having trouble deciding. Then he pulls out a pen and a notebook and scribbles things down. She's not too sure what he is doing but as long as he stays out of Tony's things in his desk she won't have a problem.
Yep, her protective side over her partner had come out pretty defensive and ugly.
She finally turns to Gibbs and he gives her a look, one she reads perfectly fine. It was a warning, just to take a deep breath and play nice. And she'll try but she's not making any promises. She thinks she just needs to go home to bed and try sleep this mood off but she's still got a couple hours left of work. Great.
Tony looks through her movies on her computer and he finds one that he remembers and puts it on. Actually doing something instead of sitting around all day was good, it felt like he achieved more, even if it was just watching a movie. It was something. And he remembers that he likes movies, because he always has, ever since he was a young child and his mother made family movies. His mother had had a passion for movies and when she passed away the one thing he could do to remember her was to watch a movie and think just how much she would like it. That was something he did remember.
When he'd finished watching the movie he couldn't help but be a little nosey. Because he wanted to remember and seeing things might refresh his broken memory, he only hopes. And if he used to know her password and she was comfortable with that fact she must not mind him playing around on her computer, so he felt like he wasn't really being all that rude, if she'd never minded him playing on her laptop before.
He clicks on the folder on the desktop titled 'Photos' and a lot of folders pop up. There are handfuls of different folders with different names on each one, names like New Year's 2011, Christmas 2011, Tim's Birthday, Tony's Birthday 2011, Work Outtakes, Rare Holidays, Team. It went on and on and there were so many different one's to pick from. He ended up clicking on the one that said Tony's Birthday 2011 and all these photos loaded onto his screen. He clicked on the first one and it enlarged.
The first photos in the folder were obviously taken at the start of the night because they all looked very sober still. There were a lot of them posing in groups and then some just random shots of people crowed in an apartment. He's not too sure whose apartment it was, maybe it was his? He didn't see as many pictures of the Goth chick so he suspected she was the one behind the camera most of the night.
And towards the end of the photos it was a lot more obvious how drunk they had ended up that night. He was seeing all these pictures but he didn't remember any of it. It was like he was looking at a stranger's photo collection, not knowing what is really going on. He did also notice that a lot of the later photos had him and Ziva in them together, whether it be in the main of the photo or just in the background, they just always seemed to be around each other. And even if he didn't remember, he laughed a little at the picture of himself with his head in the toilet while Ziva was standing behind him with one hand on his back and she was looking up at the camera and trying not to laugh so hard at him in the toilet. It seems as though he used to have a lot of fun with the people he works with. They all looked like very close friends.
He closed that folder and went through a couple more, they all seemed similar in small ways. A lot of them were him and the people he worked with, most of the time it was him, Ziva, McGee and the Goth chick, Abby. There were a couple other people who were regulars in the folders, but he had no idea who they were. He clicked on a folder he found called Paris. It had a lot of pictures in it of buildings, monuments and more buildings. Then he found one picture with someone in it, it was Ziva. Did he go to Paris with Ziva? He'd have to ask about that one.
He went into the Work Outtakes folder and there were heaps of pictures of him, Ziva and McGee doing what would probably be considered silly in the job he's been told he used to have. Most of them are them in these black jackets and hats that say NCIS on them. And they look like they are having fun, who in their right mind has fun when investigating the stuff he used to? It didn't make sense. Maybe that's just how they worked, he didn't know. Nor did he understand that well.
Then inside the Work Outtakes folder in between all the other photos, there was one folder. It was named Trust Tony. It was a weird name for a photo album, but he let that go and he clicked on it and a handful of pictures appeared. They were of Ziva, in a bikini and to be honest he couldn't help but stare at the pictures of her like that. She was absolutely gorgeous. Did he take these photos? And when? They were in the Work Outtakes so it had him a little confused. A lot of these photos had left him confused.
McGee wasn't too sure what he should expect when he went to go see Tony. Will he walk out feeling like he'd helped him somehow? Will he walk out a little happier because he's seeing one of his closest friends? Or will he walk out a bit more disappointed than he expected? He wasn't really sure what it was going to be. Sure he'd seen Ziva smiling after seeing him today when she wasn't feeling the best before going to see him, but he doesn't know what they talked about. And the two of them were different, memory loss or not, they were still different.
Everything was always different when it concerned the two of them, they'd never followed any normal clichés. Maybe that's why you wouldn't find a better partnership than theirs.
He knocked on Tony's door and he heard the man in question call out for him to come in. Even if Tony doesn't remember him, for some reason he's smiling at Tim when he walks in the door. Tim isn't exactly too sure what all his excitement is about, maybe it's just seeing him. And that made Tim smile right back.
"Hey Tony" Tim greeted, walking in and taking up the visitors chair next to Tony's bed. Well, it was actually more Ziva's chair than anyone's and no one has moved it since she put it there the first night he was admitted to hospital.
"Hey McGee" Tony greeted right back. It was weird, Tim suddenly realized Tony probably won't remember that he always used to call him Probie. And strangely, he misses that. Tim saw Ziva's laptop on the table next to Tony's bed, he wondered why Tony had her laptop for. Then he guessed, most likely movies. Not even memory loss could take that love away from Tony, Tim would be sure about that.
"Been watching movies today?" Tim asked, motioning towards Ziva's laptop. He nodded.
"Yeah, also trying to remember things but it didn't seem to work" Tony explained. For a second Tim wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about but then he remembered all the photos Abby had put on Ziva's laptop when she brought it a few months ago. He must have gone through the photos to try and jog his memory. And normally Tim would think it would be a bit of an intrusion of privacy doing that, but with Tony and Ziva, they shared everything. It was normal when they were concerned, whether Tony remembered that or not.
"I am sure you will remember in time Tony, it might just take a little while" Tim said, suddenly being the reassuring friend. He had been taking up that role a lot as of late.
Tony sighed, it seemed as though time is something he had a problem with waiting for. And Tim cannot blame him.
"We're good friends right?" Tony suddenly asked, Tim didn't know where that had come from but he went along with it.
"Yes" Tim replied with. He wouldn't be too sure how he would explain their friendship, it was like brothers, but then again there was something that made it a little different than that.
"We hang out outside of work a lot?" Tony went on to ask. Tim wondered where Tony was going with this conversation.
"A decent amount, maybe once or twice a fortnight. It depends really" Tim said. Tony took that in and he thought for a moment.
"So you know most things about me quite well then?" Tony continued.
"Well you were always a hard one to crack and you kept a lot more secret than people know about, I don't even know a whole handful of things about you that you don't really share. If you're trying to figure out who knows you best its Ziva" Tim stated "You guys share a lot of things that you don't share with anyone else" he added. He watched as Tony went into a deep thought. What about Tim had no idea because it's not like he had a memory to think back to something. If that's what he was trying to do.
Tim watched as Tony reached over to the laptop and opened it, typing in the password.
"If I showed you some photos, you'd be able to explain them to me though?" Tony asked. So that's why Tony had been asking all these questions, he's found something that had confused him and wanted someone who knew him well enough to explain.
"Yeah, I probably could" Tim said, giving a shrug. As Tony looked for the photos he wanted help getting an explanation for, he asked Tim about one of the folders he'd come across earlier.
"Did Ziva and I go to Paris?" he asked. Tim watched him, he'd been thinking they'd gone together on a holiday. Just thinking that as a possibility had Tim widening his eyes at the thought of the two of them in the city of love.
"Yeah, but it was for work, you picked up a witness over there and brought her back to the States" Time explained, making sure Tony had his thoughts on the right track. Tim didn't want to mislead his relationship with Ziva in anyway, he was not going to get involved in that. He watched as Tony took in that information and nodded.
"Why are we so happy in all these photos at work?" Tony asked as he showed Tim some of the photos of them mucking around at work. Tim was confused to why he found those photos strange.
"Because we like our job. Sure, it's not a nice job to be necessarily doing but you can't let the bad side get to you, otherwise you won't be able to stay in the job for very long. And just being like that makes you get away from the intensity of it all a little, you were especially the worst at mucking around and joking about. But to be honest, I think even if sometimes we would get really annoyed with you, you made it a lot livelier and just better" Tim told him. The only reason he had such an explanation for it was because he's been asked it before and he'd come up with some lame response to whoever it was that asked. But after that he had really thought about it and that's what he'd come up with. It seemed to explain it all though.
Tony looked at him, it sort of made sense if he really thought about it but it still confused him a little. Maybe he won't get it because he doesn't remember being a cop, and that's what would have probably made him how he was. How comfortable he'd become around that sort of work.
Tony clicked on the photos of Ziva, the folder titled Trust Tony. He really wanted to know about those, but would McGee know about them?
"How close are Ziva and I?" Tony asked. That was a big question, one that Tim really couldn't answer. He doesn't actually know, well he has his suspicions, but he cannot go off that.
"Close, but how close, I actually don't know" Tim explained, taking this very cautiously.
"So if there are photos of her in a bikini on here with my name on the folder, that would be normal?" he asked, risking it. He didn't know what was normal and he wasn't quite confident enough asking Ziva about these photos so he had to ask McGee. He watched as McGee suddenly smiled, almost laughing.
"Well yeah, that is normal, you taking pictures like that of any half naked female when you have a camera in your hand is normal. I thought you were meant to destroy those pictures, twice. Why are they on her laptop?" Tim asked. Tony looked at him a little blankly.
"Um I don't know" Tony replied confused. Tim chuckled a little when he realized he was asking the guy with the memory loss.
"Oh yeah, my bad" Tim said and Tony was the one who joined in with a little bit of a laugh. Tim didn't know beforehand but after that night he would realize that Tony would continue to ask him what his relationship was like with everyone they worked with and he won't go home till very late that night. But he'd do it again any day.
And Tony will realize that the only person McGee couldn't fully explain his relationship with was Ziva.
I don't bite, but I do love to hear your thoughts!