Hey guys!

So I'm back into the swing of things for the year, back to work and everything and after the first couple days at work I now have time to myself a lot more and managed to get the next update for you guys!

Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter, I try my best to reply to as many as I can!

Hope you enjoy this one!

It's Christmas Eve and he doesn't have anything planned. He doesn't know if this is the usual occasion for him or if it's just how it is now after his accident. Either or he knows that tomorrow will probably be a very boring day. Sure he's been offered to go to Abby's or Sam's and even Gibbs', he just feels like his presence will be more negative than positive, so he's just staying away from it all. It's easier this way.

He doesn't know what it was that brought him out into town in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, especially when it's the busiest town probably ever is, but here he is. Maybe it's something about the atmosphere, what that is about it he doesn't know because everyone he sees is rushing about in a mad rush for their last minute shopping or dragging upset kids behind them who just want to go home already. He has a feeling that the light snow influences him somehow, he doesn't know if it's always been this way or not but the weather calms him.

Maybe it's the people watching that has brought him out, because he finds watching the lives of others interesting, he wonders what it would be like for each person he sees if they lost their whole memory.

Would the man that rounds up his three small children be able to be the father he is now? Would the lady loading her trunk so full with all those presents have a hard time getting to know all those people again that those gifts are for?

And the woman yelling at her husband for some silly reason realise that she should treasure her time with him right now, because it could never be the same tomorrow?

None of these people will realise anything, not until it happens to them will they realise their whole world could change in a split second.

He walks down the street and watches all the people rush past him as he walks far too slowly and undetermined for everyone around him. He doesn't have a rushing purpose to be anywhere so people around him tend to find his relaxed way frustrating. If only they knew what was going on inside his head right now, so far from calm and fine than it could ever be.

He stops outside Christmas tree place, there aren't many left but there is still a good few. He's surprised by the amount of people trying to purchase a tree last minute, it's more than he would have expected.

And that's when he sees her.

She's talking to a man that works there and she's pointing and discussing the tree in front of them. It wasn't a very large tree, just a regular size one, one that you could probably strap to the top of a normal car to get it to its destination. Was she buying a tree last minute? He wonders why because he feels like she's more of an organised person than that.

When she smiles at the man in thanks and he walks away Tony decides to walk up to her. He walks between all the tree buyers and keen sellers until he reaches her and the tree she is about to lift.

"You need some help with that?" He asks and her body goes still. He's come to realise that she notices his voice quicker than anyone. When she turns to look at him she's smiling. He hasn't seen her in quite a few days now, and he's excited by the smile she greets him with.

"It's not needed but if you have nothing better to do than carry a Christmas tree to my car then sure, you can help" she said with a smile. Even though she's a smaller woman he can tell she can hold her own. She hasn't said much about her past but he knows she's an agent and that accounts for some. And the arguments they've had showed just how much fire she has, and he just has this feeling that her bite is stronger than her bark. Maybe one day he will find out, hopefully because he will remember and not find out first hand.

"I have nothing better to do on Christmas Eve than this I assure you" he returned with a smile. Even though his words were a little sad, he said it so lightly and almost happily Ziva ignored the sad fact he has nothing better to do on Christmas Eve. Given she knows why he has nothing to do, she could almost guess off the top of her head. He's not spending it with anyone because he doesn't want to intrude. And she knows he won't do anything tomorrow unless someone drags him along to something. And she has a feeling that it will be her job to drag him along to Gibbs' tomorrow. Because in the long run it will be good for him and all his relationships with his friends.

He reached down and picked up the bottom of tree and when she grabbed the top and gave him the signal they lifted up the tree and started walking it towards her car. Him being the gentleman and walking backwards.

"So why is it that you are buying your Christmas tree so late, the day before Christmas? Or is this some weird crazy thing you like to do?" He said with a light laugh, which she returned.

"I just haven't had much time with work this year, I wasn't even going to bother until last night" she admitted, however he could tell there was something more to that story than she was letting on.

"What changed your mind?" He asked as he stepped around a lady who was fusing with her young child.

"Well I didn't really do the whole Christmas thing until I moved here. I didn't even put a tree up until three or four years ago, and I didn't even start myself doing that. I guess it just didn't feel right without one, considering" she said, this time her voice was a little softer. Maybe there was something more personal about putting a tree up for her.

"Considering?" He asked. He had a feeling it had something to do with him, the way she went all quiet. She avoided the question for a few moments as they manoeuvred the tree around a group of people before they set it down on his end next to her car.

And for a moment as she stood there looking right at him softly, only a tree stood between them he realised just how much this involved him.

"Every year you've been the one that comes to my apartment and picks out the tree before helping me decorate it in my apartment. You've always been the one that's insisted I have one, even when you never put one up yourself in your apartment" she said quietly with a soft smile. This was a personal thing between them and the reason she hadn't got a tree yet was because he was the one who always did it with her. And this year, he didn't remember.

"I have never put one up myself, it was always your tradition" she added, the smile she wore told him she liked his tradition a lot. He looked at her softly.

"If it was my tradition why don't I have one at my place?" He asked, he was very curious. She avoided her eyes for a second before settling her gaze back on him, something he realised that meant the conversation was a tougher one.

"You never right out told me but I knew it was because it symbolised family and happiness to you, something that reminded you of your mother, and you didn't want to put it up at your place when it would just remind you how…" She was finding it hard to say, it wasn't really a nice thing to point out about someone. But she had to and she could tell he wanted to hear it. "How lonely you are at home. So when you put it up at my home you didn't have to be alone when you experience that side of Christmas, because you were never alone with me" she explained and a silence settled between them and the Christmas tree.

He didn't really know quite what to say, this had turned out to be a very personal thing between them, but it seemed as though it was quite casual.

"And every year we do this?" He asked, he was so curious by now he had to know more about this.

"Yes" she said and her smile that lit her face said a lot more to him about it. He felt bad not being there this year for her when he was meant to be. But she doesn't seem to blame him.

"So what changed your mind last night?" He asked and she continued to smile at him.

"I guess my apartment felt empty without it, your tradition has grown on me too much" she said, and it sounded like it was a very good thing. That she liked the fact it had grown on her so much.

"If you want I'd be happy to continue the tradition with you?" he offered. Her smile grew more.

"Really?" She asked. She wasn't sure she could believe what she was hearing.

"Yeah. I might not remember but I would love to contribute" he smiled.

" I would like that a lot" she replied. She was more touched by his offer than he would truly know.

They had managed to get the tree on top of her car and safely all the way back to her apartment. It was a bit of a struggle walking it up the stairs to her apartment but they managed to get the job done.

When they got it up there she showed him the spot they usually put it, right next to her small DVD collection. He only says it's small because his one is huge, but then again her book collection on that same shelf of hers takes up a good amount of space. It was impressive.

They've been decorating for almost a couple hours now and honestly he's had the most fun in that time than anytime else since waking up from his accident.

"You really sure you want me to put this on your tree?" Tony asked. It was a very unpleasant picture of himself dressed as what he was guessing was Elvis? Maybe? Ziva laughed and nodded her head.

"Yes, Tim gave me that and I am very fond of it" she continued to chuckle, it always made her laugh when she saw it. And the look of horror on his face right now was priceless.

"I've noticed that most of the decorations on your tree are rather different" he observed. Most seemed to be homemade or personal, and she had a good handful of pictures of people hanging in the tree. A few of them being ones of him.

"My tree isn't really about looking the most beautiful, it's more about being the most meaningful. Over the past couple of years most of those decorations have been given to me by people I care about. It makes it special" she explained with a big smile, one that he could really see reach her eyes.

He pulled out another decoration out of the box, it was black bat and he definitely knows who that one came from.

"I think it's one of the most beautiful Christmas trees I have ever seen" he says and he really means it, and she hears that in his voice. She turns and looks at him, and the look that she casts in his direction is full with fondness.

"I am glad you are here Tony" was all she said, taking the conversation in a different direction suddenly.

"I wouldn't rather be anywhere else" he smiled at her. He felt a little charming tonight and he doesn't know where it had come from. The more time he spends with her, the more he likes her. And when he means like it's more than a friend capacity. He doesn't know why he feels about her like he does, it's just starting to happen the more he sees her. And he's doesn't truly know but he would bet on the fact that he had feelings for her before his accident.

The room falls quiet and all that is heard between them now is the soft music Ziva has playing in the background because he doesn't say anything and neither does she, she just stares at him softly and he returns the look right back. He can almost feel something passing between them, some sort of powerful energy. But maybe he's just lost his mind a little. No pun intended.

Sometimes he wonders what they were like, what it was truly like between them. Maybe not the relationship but how if felt. How it felt to be as close to her as he was, how it felt to be her best friend. Because the feelings he gets simply by looking at her opens him up and makes him feel alive. Because when he really lets her in and he relaxes around her like this and he doesn't fight against her or with her, spending time with her couldn't possibly be better than anything he could imagine.

He ended up in her apartment on a slim chance, he'd seen her beautiful curls in amongst the green pine and somehow fate had brought him here tonight. And at this point he's not sure he wants to leave and he doesn't believe she will kick him out. Because right now as he is looking at her, and god she is so beautiful, she stares back with a open passion. Her eyes don't hide how she feels.

He cannot help his feelings for her, he doesn't know where they have come from but it's like a light has gone off inside of him and it shows him the way he's meant to go. And he doesn't know why this is all happening or what has caused it, he just has a feeling his heart knows the truth. And he will happily follow it blindly.

He doesn't know how long that time passes between them but it feels like forever, and the good kind of forever. The one that he actually doesn't want to end. He feels alive and he feels like this is so right. Maybe this was how it felt before, and if that's true he can understand why he'd cared about her so much. Because for him, she felt so easy to love.

He cannot explain anything of what is happening in this moment, but all he knows is that it's not just some story, this is truly happening before his eyes. This was not a happy dream to escape his sad reality but his sad reality telling him that maybe it doesn't have to be so sad considering. Because he feels happy right now, and he doesn't feel so alone.

She ends up offering him to stay for dinner when they finish decorating the Christmas tree, and he could never say no to that offer. However when she brings out cookies and ice cream he's a little surprised.

"Is this part of the Christmas Eve tradition too?" he guessed, because he had no other explanation for it. He doesn't think anyone would eat cookies and ice cream for dinner normally. The bright smile that she returns as she hands him a bowl is an answer before she actually says it.

"Yes, it is actually" she chuckles a little as she thinks about it while she takes a seat next to him on the couch "The second year we did this Christmas thing you and I had been last minute shopping on Christmas Eve because we had been stuck at work on a hectic case we'd missed out on doing it when we should have, and we ended up retuning from shopping at just after eleven at night and we were both extremely tired by that point…" she said and before she continued she let out another chuckle, this one included a little snort, whatever she was thinking of must have been funny and he found himself laughing along even if he hadn't heard the rest of the story yet, she was just too adorable when she laughed like that.

"I'd all but died on the couch and you went into the kitchen to find something to eat and you returned with cookies and ice cream, your explanation being that it's Christmas Eve and you're meant to leave cookies and milk out for Santa when he comes, and that ice cream was pretty much like frozen milk or something so it was considered the same thing and you believed we had to uphold the tradition by eating it for dinner" she smiled at him, and she gave him a look that was definitely right from her heart "You don't always make much sense to me but your entertainment value never fails to amuse me" she continued. And he's glad about that, because if it made her smile like this, he would do it every day.

And if he thinks about it, the cookies and ice cream thing made sense.

"Sounds about right, honouring Mr Claus by having this for dinner" Tony said with a laugh as he scooped up some ice cream into his plate. That had resulted in a bubble of laughter from Ziva. He turned and he looked at her and how she looked right now couldn't be more beautiful. It was late and she had dressed down, her hair was out and loose and she was in laughter with the best smile on her face. He loved it.

The way she looks at him is a little different too, it's from the heart and it's so soft. Maybe even loving. But what does he really know?

"You haven't changed one bit" she smiles. And he knows that her talking about his memory loss maybe a hard thing to swallow, but the fact that it came out with such happiness while she said he's still the same was actually good. Because he might not remember but deep down he's still the same, and she likes that.

He takes a bite of his ice cream as he watches her take some of her own cookies and ice cream. This was a strange Christmas with all these different things he was doing, but it feels like the best Christmas he's ever had so far, and it wasn't even Christmas day yet.

He doesn't remember much about his Christmas' when he was younger, but a few memories still floated around in his head.

"I remember when I was little and I used to always make these forts out of chairs and blankets and anything I could find, right in the middle of the room in front of the Christmas tree. I'd fall asleep in it waiting for Santa to show up while I was hiding in my fort, trying to catch him, I never did though. I always fell asleep before I got to see anything, and somehow my parents managed to put out all my presents without waking me" he relived, a smile gracing his face. He looked up from his bowl where he had been staring and looked at Ziva. She was watching him quietly and taking in the memory that he was sharing with her. She looked touched, almost surprised. Maybe he wasn't as open about his childhood before his accident like he was now, because that's the idea he's starting to get when she seems very surprised to hear such personal childhood memories from him.

"I've never built a fort inside before" she realizes as she thinks back to her own childhood. Her father wouldn't have agreed with the mess that doing such a thing would cause. And she's still a little surprised at all the things Tony shares with her so openly, because he was always someone to keep his personal childhood memories to himself. But she likes the change in him, because she loves hearing his stories like this. It warms her heart, because at one point in his life he had had a normal childhood. Before his mother was taken from him.

"Well the night is still young" he smiles. He feels like he should give her that experience, everyone should build a fort out of blankets and chairs and just create a big mess once in their life. Ziva chuckles.

"Tony it is almost midnight" she points out and he just shrugs and smiles back at her, which in turn makes her smile that much bigger.

"We better get started then" he announces as he puts down his empty bowl and starts to redecorate her living area. She laughs.

"Are you really going to build a fort in the middle of the room, right before midnight on Christmas?" she asks. She already knows the answer because she sees the happy determination on his face, but she still cannot believe how the evening had unfolded with everything. It was one of the best Christmas Eve's she has ever experienced before.

"Why not add one more weird Christmas Eve tradition to the list?" he says with a smile as he moves her armchair. And yeah, he's right. Why not? She picks up his empty bowl and the ice cream.

"I guess I better clear some space" she smiles and he feels so good, because he managed to convince her to do this. She's going to love it. Who said anyone older than thirty couldn't build a fort out of blankets and furniture in their living room if they didn't have kids? No one.

"I cannot believe you convinced me to do this" Ziva said as she stood and looked at the huge fort in front of her, it almost took up her whole living room and it used all the blankets and bed sheets in her apartment except for the ones on her bed. This will be a nightmare to tidy up.

"Look at it though, it's amazing!" he exclaimed as he put the last touches to the fort by plugging in the extra Christmas lights that he had hung in and around the fort. "It's got to be the best fort ever built" he said, fully agreeing with himself. He switched off the main light and the Christmas lights made the room glow colourfully. He looked over to see Ziva and she was shaking her head but laughing softly at the same time. He was still her old Tony and that's what she loved most about this moment.

"Come on, you got to try it out" he said and she wasn't expecting it when he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the fort, but she found herself holding on and not really wanting to let go. Because she missed physical contact with him, more than she thought she would. He crawled under the only open part of the fort by the Christmas tree and led the way, bringing her along with him. She was laughing and the sound was the best thing ever to reach his ears.

They sat down on the pillows that littered the floor inside the fort. He'd managed to collect all the pillows in her home and fit them inside the fort. And as they sat his hand lingered in hers longer than she would have called normal, but she wasn't complaining one bit, because really she didn't want him to let go.

"So you've got all your pillows for comfort, TV for entertainment, then the door has to be where the Christmas tree is so when he comes you can catch Santa, and of course the food is important" he said picking up the cookies and smiling at her. Even though they were alone in her apartment she felt so alone with him right now under this fort, like nothing else matter and the whole world was lost to them.

"I still cannot believe you got my television under here too, how am I meant to watch my Christmas movies?" she said. She wasn't fully serious but she did always watch a Christmas movie today. And she just realised it was actually Christmas and by the look on his face, so did he. It was well past midnight now.

"Merry Christmas Ziva" he said, a soft smile falling on his face and the fort suddenly seemed smaller. He seemed suddenly closer.

"Merry Christmas Tony" she replied. And she doesn't know why she does it but she needed it and she gathered his hand in her one. He didn't seem to mind by the way he smiled at her and gave her hand a small squeeze in return and he continued to hold her hand.

He likes it, he'll admit that. His pulse goes faster and he doesn't really know what is going on. But he really likes it. He doesn't remember their past but does that really matter at this point? Because she does and that's what's important. And she wouldn't do anything she wouldn't have before, right?

She doesn't know how long it was they sat there like that, but at some point while they both sat there holding hands simply listening to her very soft music and relaxing, he'd fallen asleep. She could hear his soft snores escaping and filling the fort. She wouldn't have it any other way, because his hand was still in hers and today had been a very good day with him. And building this fort and sharing it with him was probably the best part of their eventful evening.

She's glad that she'd brought the remote for the stereo into the fort because she was able to turn off the music without leaving the fort, and leaving her hand in his. The silence filled the room and all that was left to hear was his snores, something that she will admit to herself that she also misses. Because it meant he was asleep and he looked the most peaceful in his sleep. He just looked so young and innocent, that he had nothing bothering his mind which she knew used to be full of problems. Which it still did, his problems are just different now.

She doesn't know why she does this either but she finds herself moving closer and she rests herself against him and leans her head on his shoulder. It was far too long since the last time she did this, and she really misses this. They didn't do it often, it's only been a handful of times, but when they did it meant everything.

She closes her eyes and just relaxes against him. He might not have his memory anymore and she doesn't know if he ever will get it back, but right now she isn't too worried at this point because today was good. And they were good. And she wouldn't ask for anything more than being able to spend a day with her best friend and for it to feel normal again.

And as she lays here with him in the fort, right next to the Christmas tree she realises this is her gift this Christmas, him still being alive and being right here by her side, that's her gift. And she wouldn't wish for anything more than that.

Couldn't help but give these two a little comfort, they deserve it don't they? I hope you all liked the new chapter and would love to hear your thoughts!

Side note: Who is excited for the new episode today?! I think I might just burst with the feelings that the episode is going to bring!

Hundan.