A request for BibbieSparks

Warnings: M-preg here yet? O.O

Chapter 3: What did I ever do to myself?

'Sex' was not fun…at least to Fuji anyway.

It took him a while. Just to sit up. The lower back was sore and painful. But without any other choice, Fuji got up, left the naked man on the bed, without covering any blankets on him, and slowly went to pull his pants up along with his shirt.

He wanted to get out of there. There was too much he could see and feel. They're going to haunt him for the rest of his life as he knows now.

He tried hard not to wince at the pain but it was unlike anything he ever felt. He felt cold. Numb. After the whole thing that happened…It was just, there are no feelings for him there. It was like he was just a tool. Gritting his teeth to not think about it, he tried to stand up but had to hold on to the bed for support, his legs were still shaking from what happened.

Walking slowly and clumsily toward the door, not looking back he pretended that nothing had ever happened here. Nothing had happened and he wasn't going to tell anyone about it.

I'm giving it up. There's nothing there in his heart that'll take me in. Nothing.

Early next morning, Inui found himself on a bed, naked, with no memory of whatever happened to him, except for the pounding of the hangover that he had, he felt cold. It was as if he had someone here with him but he couldn't recall. Holding out the hand to feel the bed space next to him, there was only drops of blood stained i=on the bedsheets.

2 Weeks and 5 Days Later.

"Fujiko! Why don't you come along with us, it'll be fun!" The smiling red head was pulling on the arm of the tired brunette after their last class, now walking out from the campus. It's their second to last class for their semester and Eiji just wanted to have some fun. It was somewhere in the early afternoon with the sun blindly shining on the leftover pile of snow from New Years.

Fuji told no one anything about that night. Only that he got drunk and he doesn't remember anything. It made him feel guilty not telling anyone anything but it's hard. How do you tell someone that you have been raped by one of your own friends, one who won't be able to remember anything after being immensely drunk of wine and alcohol. It was better not to tell anyone about what happened.

But he felt like he should… Everything was making him tired, he wants to cry and just curl up in his bed, never having to see the daylight or to see anyone. It was just pathetic…

Fuji felt tired and he just wanted to go to bed, but he'll make the red head sad and disappointed if he didn't go with him. It was the fourth time he had asked him to go out to have fun with him and Oishi, but he always felt like the third wheel, even when Eiji denies it and pulls him along to be with them.

Nothing had changed his perspective about how love was after that night.

"Sorry Eiji. Just not today. I'm getting a stomachache." It was true, he's been feeling under the weather and he doesn't know why. He was only constantly reminded of the scene happening at Atobe's mansion whenever his stomach started hurting.

"You do look pale…"Touching his forehead, the red head made a frown. "A little fever too. You want me to take you to the nurse?"

"No, it's fine. Thanks though. I'll just walk on home." Eiji still not looking convinced, Fuji sighed.

"Don't worry, besides, Oishi's waiting for you. "

"Oh, he can wait. I'll call him to meet up at your house." Taking out his phone and soon fingers were texting his boyfriend to meet him up at Fuji's place. Somehow, Eiji hasn't change a bit, with his stubborn personality and his own behavior toward his friends. Fuji having no way to stop just let the energetic friend pull lightly on his arm and start leading them to his small apartment. His apartment wasn't even that far. It was just a couple blocks down to the left from the campus, near the narrow alley where all the cats lived and right at the end of the block.

"Eiji you really don't—" He was cut off with a glare from the red head which was usually used when he's at a bad mood or just angry at Oishi but it worked at making Fuji shut up for a moment.

Holding on to his arm, almost about to slung it over his, Eiji picked up Fuji's bag instead and walked beside him, hoping he wouldn't collapse or faint. Stealing glances at the red head, his face looked strong and determined, something he wouldn't have expected from him but at the same time he did.

Smiling slightly, Fuji walked carefully with Eiji, though he felt like something was going to come out of his throat and had to stop a couple of times, making Eiji worry. They only gotten to two blocks but it felt forever to the brunette. Having to pant heavily, he had to clutch his stomach when it started to act up and crouch down to make the pain go away.

"Fuji, daijobu? Maybe we should have went to the nurse. She's not that far…"

"No…I'm okay, really." Pouting at the tensai that doesn't seem to know how bad the situation is or how Fuji even looked like, made Eiji call for Oishi again.

"Oi, Oishi! Where are you? Fuji's really sick, where's the doctor when I need him?" Smiling a bit at the last part, Fuji tried to stand up but ended up leaning on the wall, when his vision suddenly blurry. He could hear some mumbling or maybe there was something wrong in his ears. He couldn't hear anything coherent, except he found himself laying on the cold sidewalk with some loud muffled noise that came from Eiji who started shouting on the phone while holding on to Fuji's shoulder.

"Eiji…" The last thing he could remember was that he smelled vomit and the feeling of someone pulling him into a pine scented car before blacking out on his best friend.

It's dark. Not like the dark you can see when you turn off the lights in your room and your eyes adjust to it. This was pitch black, like nothing can penetrate it. Not even the light.

Fuji felt like he was floating and at the same time, he felt something solid. I can't open my eyes…It's so tiring…Can I just sleep like this, for a while?

There was nothing he can see or feel. It was like he was drowning down to a hell where he thought was suited for him, where nothing will be there to comfort or to frighten. It was just a dark space. Nothing warm or bright there. But he couldn't feel something touching him, almost like the darkness was Inui itself, being swallowed in its grasp and unwanted touches that he didn't want to feel.

"Get away from me!" But it's like deafness had its own way of making his life miserable. The touches kept going and going; reaching all the way from his neck down to his private areas. Someone save me! I want to get out of here!

"Fujiko?" A voice called out to him, but it was so far yet it was so soft. The touches were lessened until they were gone, relieving him from the nightmares he kept having after the night where everything was taken place. A blind light was shining with it and Fuji thought, someone calls for me…but I don't know whether or know I want to face that person ever again.

His eyes opened to his familiar lighting in his room, feeling a cold towel on top of his forehead and tasting the vomit in his mouth. Then he saw red hair in his face and his chest being choked by the estranged hug.

"Fujiko! We're so worried. I thought you died!" Groaning at the weight on top of his chest, Eiji leaned back to give him space, giving him a weak smile. Sitting up without having the towel to fall from his forehead, Fuji found out that he was wearing a new shirt and was on his bed, rumpled and creased sheets underneath him.

"Who changed me?" A little scared about being changing his clothes in front of someone now and didn't like being able to have someone changing for him. Hugging himself, finding that he wasn't cold but warm because Eiji closed the windows in his room before he left for school.

"Oh, I did. Oishi just helped me take you up on the stairs after he found a spot for his car. He drove here too."

"Oishi's here? No one else?" The tone was fierce at the end of his question, not wanting to have more people at his apartment as he was already self conscious of everything in his life up till now.

"No…Why? Is something wrong?" A concerned look on his face, Fuji only shook his head and asked where Oishi was.

"Oishi's in the kitchen…since I can't cook…" Pouting at the doorway where it leads outside to the kitchen and bathroom, Fuji felt a little calm that no one else was here except for the two. He'd only permit these two since he known them so well as well as Tezuka. No one. No one else can be able to come.

"Fuji? You okay? Oishi thinks you might have some sort of flu. You're shivering. Are you cold?" Getting a sweater from a pile of clothes that was neatly placed on a desk chair; the red head wrapped it around Fuji's shoulders. He didn't realize that he was shivering and had gratefully wrapped the sweater around him.

Just then Oishi walked in through the door, Eiji getting up from his spot and helped Oishi with the tray he had in his hands. Smiling at each other, Eiji took the tray from his hands when Oishi leaned in to peck him on the cheek.

"Nya! Oishi! Fujiko's here, so what do you think? He's okay?" Blushing slightly that his friend watched the two; Fuji just felt a sense of deep love between them. This is how a relationship should be; love, care, kindness…Both people that are mutual and understanding, not one sided or filled with perverted fantasies about the other while having to do things with them that they're not ready for …

"Hello Fuji. Eiji kept calling me but I was trying to get medicine for you when he called that you collapsed. Sorry if I was a little late." Walking over to the other side of the futon bed, Oishi lifted the towel from the brunette's forehead, he used the back of his hand to feel the warm skin that Fuji was given. Eiji placed the tray with rice porridge, a small plate of fruit slices and a glass of water somewhere next to the brunette where he wouldn't knock it over.

"It's not too bad, not like how it was when we were outside…But maybe you should cut of work tomorrow to check. Though I'm not sure whether the vomiting was normal or not…" Oishi wondered about that and made Fuji worry. He vomited. That's why there was the weird taste in his mouth and instantly covered it with his hand.

"Drink some water and you'll be fine I think. But I really think you should go to the doctor…"

"…I don't…think I should…" His head lowered to the two people next to him, giving out confused and worried looks to each other. Eiji thought that something was wrong when Fuji was acting up this way, not to mention that his sarcastic tones and personality was gone. It was as if there's something Fuji wasn't telling the two. Thinking Oishi would be a better person to handle it, Eiji asked if there was anything he could get from the store; medicine, heat pads or anything…

Oishi knew where Eiji was going with this so he asked him if he could get some heat pads and some medicine from the vomiting. Eiji waved off and told them he'll be back soon.

After he left, an awkward silence loomed at the room, leaving Oishi to a somber Fuji, not having any idea where to start.

"Uhh…Fuji…"

"…What?"

"Are you sure you'll be okay here? I mean, I know Eiji's worried about you and really…he thought something went weird at the New Year's party." Fuji flinched at the last words and Oishi noticed. He kneeled next to him and took a glass of water from the tray and gave it to him. Hesitating to take the glass from his hand, Oishi beckoned it to him, showing he wouldn't do anything.

"…It's nothing for you guys to be concerned about. I'm fine. Nothing happened there." There are lies written on his face. The fear was shown from the shivering and the way Fuji wouldn't look at him.

"I'm not believing that, Fuji…" Fuji looked at him with the most intense glare he has ever given, other when Momo and Ryoma were making fun of him for something but forgotten what it was. It was enough to make him angry and in a bad temper that he hadn't have for a long time.

"I don't have anything to say to you, Oishi." Everything must be buried. No one can be able to know. His voice got a little loud, hurting his throat that he took the glass to drink down the scratchy skin inside. He can feel his head going around in circles, feeling the room swirling around him but kept his posture.

"Eiji's going to ask too. If you're not telling me, then tell him. Fuji, he's worried about you!" He argued back which surprised Fuji with the defenseness and the way he argued with a calm voice. To the soon-to-be doctor, Fuji looked tired and sick. It's not normal for him to be so sick, not giving out the sarcastic smile or comments to anyone or even crack a smile.

"Like I said there isn't anything I could tell you…" Whispering to him, he couldn't raise his voice any higher than he could or even his head.

"Then what can you tell us? Something is bothering you and you know it…You still have friends. You're not alone…" Oishi whispered, his hand on Fuji's arm, feeling the warmth that held better than the sweater on his arms or the room he was in now.

Fuji opened his eyes to the warm person next to him, not knowing what to say, or how to even react to those kind words. He hadn't heard anything in a long time, not from when everyone won from the tennis championship or when everyone just got together for a fun reunion.

"I…I can't...say anything…" But someone's here…he can listen. Say something!

"What can you be able to say?" Patient as he was, he waited for Fuji to say what he needs to say. Luckily Eiji was taking his time, at least for a while. But hopefully not too long.

"…Something did happen…but I'm not telling you who or what has been done."

"Is it someone we know? That has done something to you?" Fuji looked hesitant and almost looked like he was going back into his shell again but took a deep breath and said it regrettably.

"…Yes." Oishi thought for a while with his head in the zone of finding out what did happened at that night while Fuji went over slowly to pick up his bowl of rice porridge.

"Okay then…" Oishi looked into Fuji's eyes, finding nothing else he could see except for the fear and a deep sadness that he couldn't be able to know why. He doesn't think that he should ask but give it time to let him think whether or not he wants to say it. Fuji was slowly eating his bowl of porridge but somehow his stomach wasn't complying with the food, making the bile in his throat came up again and accidently vomited in the bowl after a few bites.

"Fuji!" Trying to find a wastebasket to let him get the waste out but heard the door open.

"Oishi! Fujiko! Sorry I'm late but look who I found in the store? Look who I found in the store!" Eiji was back and Fuji was busy throwing away all of the food he ate from his stomach out into the container Oishi found. The footsteps of the red head and his guest came close and the door to Fuji's room was opened.

Fuji looked up after heaving breaths to breathe though there was only the smell of his saliva and the misshaped and mixed food that went through his nose, found his eyes widened at the tall guest with the short black hair, staring at him with shock. His head dizzy and the room spinning around him dramatically, he didn't feel his throat gagging and throwing up all over again or Oishi's arm around him or the shouts he gave to tell Eiji to get his keys to his car and take that guest with him. Nothing was ever going to work out for him now, blacking out before seeing his hands that shook underneath him.

"Ehh? Fuji sempai! Fuji sempai!" Turns out that Fuji fainted from seeing Momo, mistaking him for Inui and is now in a panic, waving his hands around wondering what he should do.

"Momo! Come here and help me carry Fuji. We're going to the hospital."

Hmmm…I guess it's okay not really getting much ideas afterward though…