A/N: This chapter is a little bit... messy/unhygienic. Liberal use of expletives.
"There, all taken care o– oh... my... god!"
"Sheriff?"
Emma's phone slipped out of her hand as her eyes widened.
"Miss Swan?" Regina asked, again when no answer came, "Emma?"
Emma took a few steps forward, slowly discarding her jacket and then untying one shoe after the other. Throwing both the boots behind she stopped short of a centimetre from the big white ceramic plate that stood between her and Regina. Emma gulped as she took in the sight before her.
Three majestic stacks of fluffy goodness, golden brown glowing like the sun that lights up the earth, complete with a glistening stream of syrup flowing over it.
Emma knelt down in reverence before she lifted her head up and brought her hands together in a clasp, "Thank you God, I am sorry I ever doubted you."
Lowering her head, she inhaled deeply. An aroma that she could strangely identify as sunshine consumed her being and she leant forward, planting her face in the pancake, letting out the loudest moan that could come out of her tiny vocal chords.
There is perfection, and I, Emma Swan, have touched it.
When the moans went from being funny to borderline uncomfortable Regina decided to intervene. She sat down leaning ahead as she rested her forearms on the cool marble counter. Emma was trying to take the biggest bites burrowing deeper into the tanned blankets, holding the pancakes with both her hands on either side of her head.
Regina cleared her throat politely hoping the blonde would stop making love to her food. Emma turned her head following the sound; she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before swallowing the remaining contents in her mouth.
"I take it you like it." Regina teased, which was entirely lost on the blonde.
"I love you." Emma replied with utmost adoration in her voice.
"Charming", Regina drawled, "When was the last time you ate?"
Emma eyed the plate from the corner of her eye thinking whether it would be polite to take another handful, "I think I had some coffee yesterday morning."
"Well that's unhealthy." And unnatural. Regina's mind went back to last year when she would visit the sheriff's department and always find a box of processed sugary treats on the table. Always.
"Well, Mary Margaret has more or less stopped eating." Or Living. "And naturally David won't eat if she isn't eating, and I don't like to be the only one eating in the house."
Regina's lips pursed in distaste; was Snow coming out the martyr in this situation too? Before she could think more about the white queen, someone else infiltrated her thoughts.
"What about Henry?" Regina pushed herself back, sitting upright.
"Oh Neal takes him out for food."
Relieved, Regina sunk her fork to take a small bite from the other end, "Who's Neal?"
Emma froze, thankful that her face was hidden behind this mountain of flavour, 'Shit shit shit, she doesn't know. Shit!'
"Uh, you know Neal; he used to be a mouse or something I guess." Emma said hoping Regina wouldn't ask any more questions.
Regina hummed thinking, 'So Snow's kin.'
Regina took another bite when her eye caught the tall can she had kept on the counter. She quietly took out the lid and shook it.
"So, enjoying the pancakes?"
"More than words can tell. By the way I totally forgive you for making me small and shit, I mean good god woman, what did you put in these bad boys, ecstasy?"
Regina smirked as she aimed the can on top of the stack, "You know what goes well with them?"
Emma who was dipping her hands in the syrup puddle asked, "What?" which led Regina to press down on the nozzle over the unsuspecting blonde.
Emma cried out at the sudden spurt but it soon turned into peals of laughter, "I... can't... believe... it", she said between laughs, "you actually made it better."
Regina smirked at the swirl of white now on her table, not caring about the mess.
Emma shot out of the heap like one would jump out of a cake, "I'm in heaven." Emma laughed at Regina before looking down hungrily.
"That's unsanitary."
"Says the one holding the can."
Regina smiled at the blonde currently gathering the white foam with both her hands and the sight triggered a far away memory. Before she could stop to think, her lips moved, her mind basking in the warmth of the memory.
"Once, when Henry was six, he got hold of such a can and made himself a white beard and moustache. He broke into my study shouting Ho-Ho-Ho." She shook her head with mirth.
Emma laughed as she licked her fingers, "I'm surprised he's still alive."
Regina's fork dropped as her whole body tensed; of course, this is what she got in return for letting her guard down. What was she doing here anyways, laughing with the spawn of her enemy? Forget Emma, what was she doing here laughing when not even a week had passed since she'd lost Cora. Regina felt like she was letting the memory of her mother tarnish by frolicking with the saviour. Regina rose up from the table not noticing how Emma had stopped eating after the comment. Regina shrunk the plate and grabbed a dishcloth to wipe away remnants of the cream from her hands.
"I think its best you eat like a civilised person."
Emma looked down at the moderately sized plate and back up to the woman only to find her facing away.
"You are nothing", she hissed glaring at the plate before pushing it aside and walking towards the end of the counter, "Regina, aren't you going to eat?"
"No."
Emma sensed the dismissal in her tone and her behaviour. She admonished herself for joking about Regina's strict nature, and her horrible choice of words.
"I am sorry Regina. I wasn't implying -"
Regina cut her off, "You've made a mess of yourself and I'd rather you got yourself cleaned up."
Emma looked down at her moist tank top clinging to her skin and the puffs of whipped cream on her jeans.
"I would… but..." Where?
She heard the open and shut of many cabinets before the tap opened and soon Regina slammed a bowl in front of her at the counter, "Here."
"Seriously?"
"What?"
"Is this some sort of sick payback? I'm not taking a bath in that!" Emma placed her hands on her hips with a disgusted expression.
"And why not?" Regina donned the same stance.
"Well, it's a dog dish – wait, you don't even have a dog. Did you magic this shit out of thin air just to humiliate me?"
"Don't be absurd. But since everything I do is evil I guess-"
"What the actual fuck!" Emma gritted out every word, stumped at how fast they'd gone from breakfast to this, "For fuck sake that's not what this is. Fine, you know what, I'll take a bath in this if it makes you believe I'm not against you 24x7."
Emma jumped in to the bowl and splashed around, "Here, happy?" She continued jostling around till she got tired and sat down in the middle, water rising till just below her shoulders.
"I was just joking you know. It's just– forget it."
"Yes Miss Swan, I'm sorry if my sense of humour is not up to par."
"Well, I'm sorry too Regina, sometimes I don't think about things. Plus, I was covered in whipped cream. That was literally one of my fantasies."
Regina turned slightly, cocking an eyebrow, "Fantasy?" her tone crossed between surprise and amusement. She tilted her head slightly as she added as an afterthought, "Fantasies?"
"No - not - no", Emma stammered out, "I mean I like food..." Emma ducked her head below water to stop talking.
Regina shook her head. Well, Emma was never the eloquent one. Regina should know better than to take offence at the words of a fool. Well she was used to people judging her but... But.
Regina sighed.
She fetched a bottle of apple juice to get something in her body, seeing how her appetite had fled. Her head felt better now but she figured she'd better hydrate.
"How long have you told your family you'll be away?" Regina inquired as she got a glass from her cabinet.
"2-3 days." Emma said, floating in the middle of the red bowl.
"Once you're done here you can give me details of what happened yesterday."
Emma's eyes were closed but she held up her hand to gesture her approval of the idea. It had been a while since she'd had the luxury of lounging in a bath tub, let alone a personal pool. Emma exhaled in contentment as she wiggled her toes. Regina saw how relaxed Emma looked and waved her hand.
When Emma opened her eyes noting the silence that had stretched for a few minutes, she saw that she was alone in the kitchen and a pile of toiletries were kept on the side along with a pair of clothes complete with a mini beach tent for changing. She smiled lazily at the sight and closed her eyes again, enjoying the sound of water in her ears.
Regina flipped a page trying to concentrate on the words and not on the sounds filling the room.
"You talkin' to me?"
Regina brought her fingers to her forehead, gently massaging them.
"Well I'm the only one here."
"Miss. Swan." Regina gritted out closing her book with a bang.
Emma turned hissing, "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"
"Excuse me", Regina startled at the woman's words.
Emma took a few steps back with a sheepish grin, "Sorry, was still in character."
"Asinine."
"What?"
"Exactly. What! What is the matter with you? You are shorter than my phone and yet you treat this situation like a joke."
"How is it my fault that he was looking at me funny?"
Regina bit her bottom lip to stop whatever spell was on the tip of her tongue.
"He", Regina spat out, "is a pen-stand."
"As long as he doesn't try any funny business." Emma turned up her hands in surrender before sliding them in her pockets, only to remember she didn't have any. Regina had given her a set of nice dark blouse with slacks, nice but not her style.
"You are impossible."
"I am bored. There is a difference."
"So what do you want me to do about it?"
"I'm sorry, is my condition becoming a problem for you?"
Regina looked away, intent on not feeding the blonde's attention. She wondered about the restlessness Emma was sporting, was it a side effect of the spell or just her way of expressing frustration at the situation. One part of her mind kept telling her that she didn't need to find a cure. But as Emma had recounted the events, it did seem like Regina had lost control of her magic in the heat of emotions. And she'd be damned if she let Emma have one more thing to hang over her head.
"Fine, go back to your book; I have another fantasy to fulfil."
Regina lowered her head inside the book but curiosity got the better of her. She looked up as casually as possible to not alert Emma, but found that she was looking right at Regina smugly.
"I knew you would want to see this. Regina, I'm finally going to outdo Phileas Fogg."
Regina looked on in confusion as Emma made her way to the ivory globe kept in on the far end of the table.
"Miss Swan", Regina chided, "you're going to hurt yourself."
"No, I can do it, wait."
Regina moved closer to the globe as Emma heaved herself over the semi-circular band running along the orb.
Emma looked down at the sphere and put one foot over what should have been Antarctica, if the whole sphere wasn't bathed in pure white.
"Well here goes nothing."
Using one leg to spin the globe she jumped on the surface and began running on it.
"Regina look, I'm doing it, and in less than 80 seconds."
Regina's disapproval was evident from her face. The globe had appeared on her porch with a tag claiming that it belonged to her mother. She had been wary of it since she was more than familiar with Gold's calligraphy. But she could feel that it really was her mother's. And Emma was literally running all over it. She wanted to give the blonde a piece of her mind for dirtying her mother's possession but Emma was laughing and... And.
Regina sighed. Emma Swan was always the rusted wrench in Regina's cognitive clockwork, jamming the little cogs in her mind.
"Shit."
Regina jumped into attention, "What?"
"How the fuck do I stop?" Emma's pace quickened. Her position near the pole hardly helped as the surface to run was smaller.
"What- wait, don't stop running."
Regina fetched a cushion and placed it close to the globe.
"Jump."
"Jump?"
"JUMP."
Emma looked down and then towards Regina, "Well, here goes nothing."
Emma tried to push one foot off the globe but the spin momentum threw her off and she tripped over the bronze meridian, resulting in her flying off in a projectile path. She flipped mid-air and landed on her back with a loud grunt. Emma's chest heaved as the adrenaline in her body made it near impossible to breathe. She laid on her back staring at Regina's big brown eyes which were busy raking her body for injuries. Once finished the eyes found Emma's and they narrowed dangerously. Emma's breath returned to her slowly as she tilted her head back to see the globe before returning to the angry witch in front.
"Oops."
Regina's eyes were livid as her mouth twisted. She placed the cushion on her table. She turned to Emma and the blonde expected a lecture but Regina remained oddly silent. After a beat, Regina just sighed and said something under her breath as her hands went towards the tall bottle kept in the middle of the table.
"Seriously?"
"Life doesn't take me seriously, why should I?"
Emma got up and walked over to the Regina's glass.
"I could see you squinting when you were reading; I know your head still hurts. This will only make it worse."
Regina rolled her eyes and poured herself a drink only to drain it in one go, "Well special circumstances."
Emma frowned as her eyes followed Regina pouring another drink. She really didn't want to be alone again in this big house with a passed-out Regina.
"Regina, we need to concentrate, this won't help."
"Well you and your shenanigans aren't helping us either."
Regina brought the glass closer to her lips but stopped when she heard muffled laughter. Regina looked down arching her right eyebrow. She kept her glass down and looked at Emma. Emma avoided looking at Regina but a smile was plastered on her face.
"What?"
"Seriously, who talks like that?"
"Like what?"
"Shenanigans." Emma grinned as her hand pushed back her hair awkwardly.
Regina rolled her eyes and clutched the glass again only to feel Emma on her hand.
"Regina. Stop please. And I won't continue with my-", she smiled, "Shenanigans."
"Do you normally find everything so funny?"
Emma's smile faltered as she looked at the finger she was clutching, "Honestly? I don't think I remember laughing much... ever since the curse broke."
"I-", words failed her as she saw Emma's face slowly becoming passive, "I need ice."
She pulled her hand away, cautious to not hit Emma in the process, "Stay. Refrain from listening to that inner voice that clearly wants to get you killed."
Emma glared at being treated like a pet. When Regina reached the door, she turned and pointed with her hand, warning the blonde to not move. Emma wanted to point a certain finger too but refrained, just like Regina had said.
Now Swan, let's not do anything stupid till the mean lady comes back.
TBC
Next Time: Emma indeed does something stupid. Silly saviour.
...
A/N:
Phileas Fogg is the protagonist in the Verne novel 'Around the World in Eighty Days'.
I was NOT projecting my own fantasies through Emma Swan. I do not fantasise about life-sized breakfast items.. I do not.. I.. I.. dammit.
x