A/N Sorry for the really slow update. I've been busy and not very inspired lately, so I waited until I felt I could produce the best chapter instead of giving you a short sloppy one. Hope you enjoy! PLEASE R&R
"It...it can't be true." Belle stammered, hoping she had heard Emily wrong. She hasn't said the name of Sydney's first wife, had she?
Deep inside, Belle knew the truth. Nate was Sydney's son. They had the same shape of eyes and crease in their brow. And now that she really though about it, Harry looked an awful lot like Sydney too with his dark eyes, high cheekbones and long narrow nose. How had she not seen it before?
Emily reached over and touched Belle's hand. "I know it must be a shock to you. I'm still shocked myself." Belle merely nodded, her mind racing a mile a minute.
When she spoke it came out in a big hurried mess of a rush.
"Sydney needs to know. He was so hurt by what happened with his wife, and losing his son. Emily, he thinks he will never see his son again. He needs to know Nate is his son. He needs to know that the child he's been placing on his knee is his own flesh and blood, his own grandchild and-"
"I know." Emily interrupted. "Believe me. I've been bothering Nate about telling Sydney. But he has to tell him in his own time."
Belle sighed. She wanted Nate to tell Sydney now. She felt like she couldn't wait any longer for him to know.
She and Emily parted ways, and Belle jogged to Ruby's. She needed her best friend's advice.
Sure enough, Ruby was there with a glass of cherry cola and a whole lot of attitude.
"What's bothering you Hon?" She asked, smacking her bubblegum a few times and putting on a fake Jersey accent.
"It's about Sydney again." Belle said quietly. She took a sip of her soda before continuing.
"I can't stop thinking about the stories the mayor told. And about his first wife. I'm starting to wonder if he can ever really feel anything for anyone, or if he just can't be alone."
Ruby sighed heavily. "Come on girl. We talked about this! That man is cray-zay about you. He never barely talked to anyone before he met you. He never went to church, and he was always found drunk on some park bench somewhere. He's trying to change for you. Because Honey, believe it or not, I think he's in love with you."
"Ruby the reason I'm having such a hard time with this is because I'm in love with him. But he shows no sign of wanting to marry me, even though I've hinted around about it before."
Ruby bit her lipstick covered lip.
"Belle. First you need to talk to him and have him tell you everything. About his wife, about the mayor. You two need to totally trust each other before you can have a relationship. Now go. Scurry along. I'm not going to sit here all day."
Ruby shooed Belle out of her house to go and see the man who occupied her thoughts all day.
Sydney was is the kitchen, sipping a glass of whiskey while leafing through the few orders of watches he had gotten. Business had been slow for the past few weeks.
He heard a tapping on his door and opened it to Belle.
His smile disappeared when he saw the look on her face.
"What's the matter Love? You look as if you've just seen a ghost."
Belle didn't answer him, just mumbled something that sounded almost like "Can I come in?" As a response he opened the door wider and stepped out of the way so she could come in.
"Belle, what's the matter?" Gold asked after giving her a glass of water and seating her next to him at the table.
Her lovely blue eyes searched his face for a moment.
"After everything with the Mayor, and the stories of your wife..." She took a deep breath. " I've been having some doubts about your feelings for me."
Sydney moved towards her slowly. "What can I do to erase your doubts?" His face was near hers, and she wrinkled her nose at the smell of whiskey on his breath. She hated that he drank, and wished he would stop. But that wasn't why she was here today.
Noticing the distraught look on Belle's face, he leaned forward and kissed her, but he knew that wasn't enough.
"Belle. I married Milana for all the wrong reasons." He said quietly, looking into her eyes, reading all the pain and worry in those sea blue eyes of hers.
"I didn't love her. I never even liked her as much as I liked you before we even knew each other. And...About the uh. The mayor..." He paused and took a drink of his whiskey. He coughed, sputtered, and then continued.
"It was a few years after Milana left with my son. I was lonely, felt like a failure at life and had nothing to live for. I was drinking all the time, more than I ever have in my life, and I began a relationship with Regina. She was young, and not so innocent, and it was wrong of me to take advantage of her. I started feeling guilty so I broke it off, and apparently broke her heart."
He stopped talking and bit his lip.
"Belle, I've never been in love before and I didn't think I ever would be. I'm not sure how to do this love thing. But I want you to know that my heart, however worthless it may be to everyone else, it belongs to you."
Tears gathered between Belle's cinnamon lashes and spilled down her cheeks.
"I love you Sydney. I'm so afraid of losing you. So afraid that you don't love me as much as I love you."
He laughed and wiped away her tears. "I'm afraid it isn't possible for me to ever not love you. Believe me, I've been trying for years."
Belle sat up on her chair. "What do you mean, years?"
Sydney blushed. "I. Well. I." He sighed. "Fine. I've loved you for years. But I never thought you would return my feelings. My heart nearly pounded out of my chest when you came in my watch shop."
"Aww that's so sweet!" Belle gushed. Sydney turned away, embarrassed. Belle caught his arm and pulled him to her. She embraced him for the longest time, and then kissed his face.
That night when Belle got home, Ruby was sitting on the couch watching tv. She clicked it off when Belle came in, and they discussed Sydney for fifteen minutes, until Belle noticed what Ruby was wearing. Long dark jeans, a lacy red shirt with a frilly black half jacket. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her makeup had a more natural look to it.
"Oh. My. Gosh. YOU HAD A DATE!" Belle squealed. "Who was it? I can't believe you didn't tell me about this!"
Ruby smiled. "I've been seeing him for weeks now. It's uh. Doctor Whale."
Belles jaw dropped. Doctor Whale and Ruby? They were polar opposites! But the doctor was very nice and also good looking. He would be good for Ruby.
"So are you guys officially boyfriend/girlfriend?" Belle asked, watching her friend's facial expression for any clues.
Ruby leaned back in her chair "Actually we've been dating for a while and I'm fairly certain he's going to propose." She paused. "I wasn't going to say anything because I know how stressed out you've been about you and Sydney's status."
"Oh Ruby!" Belle exclaimed. "I'm your best friend! I'm more hurt that you didn't tell me!"
Ruby laughed. "Well look at the mess I made trying not to hurt your feelings."
"Sorry." Belle said. "I didn't hear you. I can't stop thinking about you...and doctor Whale."
Belle smiled and waggled her eyebrows at Ruby, who picked up a pillow and hit Belle over the head with it.
"Stop it. Your creepy smile is making me uncomfortable." She muttered, turning away from Belle.
"Oh wow. You really are in love with him aren't you? Come an admit it." Belle prodded, leaning her elbows on the coffee table and placing her chin in her hands, but she didn't get an answer because conveniently, Belles phone rang. When she saw it was Emily's caller ID she went in the other room. She knew she was calling about Sydney and Nate, and she didn't want Ruby to know before Sydney did.
"Hey Emma-Wemma. Emily-Wemily. What's crack-a-lackin?" Belle laughed nervously. There was a long silence.
"Um Belle. Are you okay?"
Belle laughed again. "I'm fine and dandy. Just trying to lighten the mood is all. So anyway, what's up?"
"I just wanted to see how you're holding up."
"I'm fine."
There was a silence in which Belle could almost see the sheriff with her head cocked to the side, one eyebrow raised, and hand on hip.
Belle sighed.
"Okay fine. I'm doing awful. I can't stop thinking about Nate and Sydney and I want to tell him. Can't we just make them get together and talk? They need it really badly. Both of them."
"I know that Belle. But we can't rush into things. We could damage both of them by forcing them to begin a relationship. They need time to figure things out together and heal."
"I know, I know. It's just hard, you know?"
"Yeah." Emily replied. "We'll let them do it on their own terms, okay? And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."
For the next week Belle was so busy with the bakery, her part time job at the bookstore, and church that she didn't see much of Sydney.
She leaned against the flour covered counter and pulled out her cell phone. She knew that Sydney hated texting, but she couldn't call him right now with a bakery full of people.
"Dinner Grannie's?"
She shoved her phone in her pocket and continued rolling out the pie crust.
When she had filled the pie and put it in the oven, her phone buzzed.
"I.,would ,rather ,?meet, at my hous."
Belle smiled at his messy text. He always complained that the buttons were too close together.
"K. 5:30?" She responded, getting back a "See,,you.z,then"
His house never ceased to intimidate her. It made her feel almost inferior.
The beautiful white paint that coated the outside, the apple tree with the shiny red apples in the front yard,(which he hated because it reminded him of the mayor) and the gorgeous wood floors and expensive furniture that were throughout the entire house.
She knocked and waited, smoothing her checkered skirt and fluffing her hair. Sydney opened the door, greeted by a smiling Belle. His face looked downcast, and he didn't return her smile.
He led her in the kitchen where she sat down on one of his tall barstools and looked around. There was no food in sight and she was starving.
Sydney sat down next to her.
"I need to talk to you Belle." Not Sweetheart, not Love, not even Dearie. Just Belle. Something in his voice told her that this wasn't going to be a good talk.
"I need time to figure things out. I know last week when you came to me, I may have given you some incorrect illusions about our future."
Belle furrowed her eyebrows. "What does that mean?."
He leaned closer to her. "Belle, I'm sorry. I can't continue this relationship. At least not right now. There are things that you want, that you deserve from a man. Things that I can't give you."
"Like what?" Belle asked biting her lip, not knowing how adorable Sydney found that, and how much harder that made things for him.
"Belle you need someone who is clean, sober. Somebody who can take part in your church activities, and be there for you. Not somebody who makes you worry about them constantly, and who's past haunts not only them, but you too."
"Sydney... Why?" she whispered, promising herself she'd be strong, brave, and listen to his reasoning for his so coolly tearing her heart out.
"Why did you tell me you loved me only last week, and then decide to do this to me?"
There were things about Sydney that she didn't necessarily like, but she accepted him because she loved him, and the fact that he didn't realize this broke her heart.
He turned away and without looking at her, said "I'm sorry. I should have said this to you sooner. But I was a coward. Another feature you don't need in a man."
She stood up to leave but paused and went to where he sat and gently brushed his cheek, leaning in to kiss him.
"No Belle. Just go."
He turned away before he could see the first tear run down her cheek.