Regina was in her study, sitting in the only chair left in the room, the one behind her desk. Wary of leaving Emma alone, she had snuck in a baby monitor from Henry's younger years near Emma's window. Apart from a very short phone call to Henry followed by terrible singing she'd heard when Emma had decided to shower, the monitor had remained silent. Since then Regina had been staring at the book, her eyes roaming over the words repeatedly but the meaning lost. It was strange, strange that as soon as Regina and entered the room she had felt heavy with gloomy thoughts. This was a stark difference from when she was with Emma. Regina was unsure but whenever she was with annoying blonde, she was either angry or amused but it was never this feeling of dread. She thought about her mother and wondered why she'd never felt so comfortable when she was living with her. Even when Henry was in his avoid-the-evil-queen phase and would refuse to come out of his room, his mere presence would always make Regina feel less alone. But not her mother. Strange. Regina broke out of her thoughts when she heard a small crackle from the monitor. She heard light cussing and noted Emma was talking to herself.
"Hey Regina! No! Regina listen! Pfft she's gonna kick my ass if I boss her around. Jeez, let's try it with a hint of grovelling. Regina, this vase was already broken when I found it. It wasn't like I was testing if it's plastic or not. Fuck it. Ok. Regina here's the deal I'll pay for only half because, come on... you did shrink me."
Regina laughed along, now paying full attention to the monitor, potions and concerns forgotten.
"So, what did you want to tell me? You found something?" Emma walked around the table, happily taking in the clean study with all the furniture back in place. Just like old times.
"As a matter of fact, I did." Regina gestured to the open book in the middle.
"Oh really, that was... fast." Too fast.
"Yes, well it's an old recipe. It attempts to enchant a simple mushroom whose one bite will restore you to your original height." Regina explained pointing to a page jewelled with an elegant script.
Emma walked over to the book and squatted down on the page trying to read the words, "Well that's not English is it?"
"Ever the detective."
Emma rolled her eyes giving up the futile translation attempt and instead focussed on the picture in the middle of the page; there was a crude line drawing of a mushroom with spiral fumes coming out. It was black and white and Emma could have sworn she saw the lines moving a while back.
"Sweet, so this is like Alice in the Wonderland." Emma said tracing the picture with her hands, "Wait, was she real?"
"I suppose so. I had asked mother about the Jabberwocky."
"Oh what did she say?" Emma asked excitedly.
"She asked me to stop asking inane questions." Regina shrugged, not particularly fond of that conversation.
"O-", 'what a bitch!'
Regina's eyes widened, "Excuse me?"
"Oh fuck, did I say that out loud?"
"Evidently."
"Crap. Sorry Regina. Foot-in-mouth."
"Well..." Wait, why is Emma angry, "All in the past dear. So I think it's best we try this, that way I don't have to waste time and patience teaching you magic."
Emma bent her head down, "I'm a fast learner just so you know. So, will the mushroom at least taste good?"
"Oh, do you doubt my cooking skills?" Regina smirked waving her fingers.
"Oh, no way madam mayor, I think I had wet dreams of pancakes last night."
"Oh, the fantasy again."
"Regina!" Emma drawled, falling back dramatically on the page to look Regina in the eye, "Shut up."
Regina lazily drew one of her eyebrows up and when it looked like Emma was going to get a small lecture again, Regina just sighed, "I'll get the ingredients."
"Umm can I come too?"
"To make sure I don't poison them?"
"What, no!" Emma started, horrified at the possibility.
"What, I can't joke now?" Regina said wryly.
"Not with your sad sense of humour."
"Miss Swan." Regina shouted making Emma sit up. As she gulped, Regina rolled her eyes and said, "Shut up."
Emma laughed in relief, "Pocket or hand?"
Regina shrugged, "Traveller's choice."
As Emma pointed to her hand Regina quietly said, "This will also be included in the final bill."
Emma almost stuck out her tongue but climbed on, smiling inwardly.
"I know what you're thinking and the answer is No."
Emma pouted, "What? I've seen Jerry do it a hundred times."
"Jerry?" Regina asked tiredly, chiding herself for indulging Emma with more questions.
"Oh bullshit, you don't know Jerry? The mouse? That guy and his really cute brother or nephew or something, the grey mouse with the diaper, which I don't think was necessary-"
"Child, you're an overgrown child." Regina muttered as Emma continued to ramble on in the background.
Emma huffed, "No, I'm an adult who just wants to take an adult walk in your fridge dammit."
Regina opened her fridge and held out her hand, "See there is nothing in here, whatever would you do inside?"
"But... I thought there'd be ribs, and huge purple grapes I could swallow whole. And jelly, colourful jelly."
They both stared at the almost empty fridge which had a couple of apples in the first shelf and lot's of clear bottles tucked in the door panel. With magic and no Henry, she hadn't bothered much.
"How many cartoons did you watch?"
Emma sighed, "Can you take me back, up, I want to sleep now."
Regina gawked at the figure; oh there was no way she was actually sad now was she?
"Miss Swan, wouldn't you like to see how the potion works?"
"No Regina, I just-I want to sleep." Emma then looked at the fridge and sighed pathetically.
"Oh for heaven's- this is absurd."
Regina slammed the fridge and brought the blonde up to her eye level.
"You get 30 minutes and once done you're not allowed to divulge any details about your disgusting adventures."
"What?"
Regina opened the fridge again and this time Emma's eyes almost bulged out of her sockets.
Jerry Jerry Jerry, if only you could see this.
Regina placed Emma into the first compartment of their newly stocked fridge and Emma walked hesitantly to the green mould. She touched it and let out an amazed gasp when it started shaking.
"30 minutes, don't suffocate on cheese." Regina sternly instructed and closed the door leaving enough leeway that the fridge light remained turned on.
Conjuring the ingredients for the potion, Regina turned her stove on only to cringe when she heard a very loud and very wet noise followed by a borderline maniacal laugh.
'Spaghetti?' Regina wondered and shuddered, 'Pig.'
"Regina this is not funny."
Emma lightly banged her head on the glass, her hands tugging the sleeves of her freshly cleaned jacket. This time Regina had refused to even look at Emma, letting her change in the fridge only. She said something about burning the fridge later on which Emma had tuned out in her glutton's euphoria.
Regina tilted her head up and cocked her eyebrow in question, "Stop questioning my humour for one second of your life and think about what you did. If you're ready to admit mistake I'll let you come out."
Emma scowled at the figure before lifting her head, trying to estimate the height of the glass wall. She could probably scale this jar from the inside; she then looked behind and saw there was hardly any running space, maybe use the other side to propel herself forward; it would surely knock this thing down.
"Do not even think about breaking anything else, wasn't one enough for today?"
"Ugh Regina, this is wrong on so many levels, it's inhumane to trap people inside mason jars."
"Not when those humans are so hell-bent into ruining the only thing that can help them. Just be thankful there is no lid on top."
"Ok fine", Emma sighed before starting in a rehearsed tone, "I'm sorry I accidentally kicked your spoon off the counter and then accidentally ran into that bottle of dog hair-"
"Wolfsbane."
"Yes, that. And I'm sorry I almost fell into that-that-" Emma started laughing at the end of the sentence.
Regina straightened up and waved her spoon accusatorially at Emma, "It's a cauldron, why do you find mundane things funny."
"Because Regina, it's a cauldron, and you're a witch, how do you not find this funny? You're actually brewing a potion in a cauldron. Dammit I wish you'd let me take a picture."
After her short fit died down, Emma quickly forgot to be angry about her imprisonment and went back to looking at the cauldron. There were purple fumes coming out which were hypnotic, Emma's head kept bobbing up and down in fascination following the vapours dancing around in the air.
"So what are you going to do now?" Emma asked with a child like wonder.
"I am going to stir it clockwise till it takes on a greener hue."
"Awesome."
Regina smiled as she crushed a twig and rubbed her fingers to get rid of the remaining grains. Emma's eyes kept following her hands. As Regina finished the potion, she took out a single mushroom from a plastic bag. She covered the cauldron with a strainer and placed the mushroom right in the middle.
"We need to let it inhale the vapours overnight."
"Do we need to cover it?"
Regina shook her heads before wiping her hands on the floral apron, "Now, have you learnt your lesson or do we need to extend your time-out?" Regina crossed her arms.
Emma bit her lip before nodding, "Yes ma'am."
Regina lowered the other end of her wooden spoon inside the jar and Emma clung onto it after an exaggerated sigh.
"My upper body strength is unbelievable now by the way."
Regina hummed as she cleared her workstation.
"Regina", Emma drawled as she circled an unidentifiable white item.
"Stay away from electrical appliances."
"Yea yea. Regina?" Emma asked and waited till Regina was looking at her before continuing, "Can we go outside? I think I've forgotten what plants looks like."
"Oh, because as a bails-bond woman you were always in touch with nature."
"Regina", Emma whined jogging on the spot, restless to dispel some energy.
"I am not your personal servant. And I was tired the whole day yesterday, how are you so... you?"
"I find your lack of faith in my drinking skills disturbing", Emma laughed at her own joke before realising Vader quotes were lost on Regina. She wondered if Regina would agree to watch the trilogy considering she might sympathise with the Sith Lord. She soon tore her focus from movies to the discussion at hand, "How about... I won't open my mouth the whole day if we go outside now?"
Regina sighed, "Do you really think you can achieve such an impossible feat?"
"Yes ma'am."
Regina looked at Emma with barely concealed doubt but still outstretched her hand. The blonde's face split into a grin and she leapt off the counter landing on the centre of her palm.
"Onwards!"
Regina smiled before scoffing, "Idiot."
"So your tree is growing nicely."
"No thanks to you."
"Hey", Emma turned her head, "I thought we weren't going to bring up the past."
"You really need to watch your tone when you're 4 feet above the ground on my hand."
"Jeez, spoilsport. So why'd ya move it here?"
"Did you really think I was going to leave it next to the town hall where I am no longer allowed to work? And what? Let the dwarves tend to it?"
"Ok ok, no need to get so worked up. Do you think I can climb it, like squirrels are my size right and they do it?"
Regina stopped moving, "Why are you so keen on dying? At least tell me, I assure you I can make it painless."
Emma stared at her unamused, "Firstly allow me to call bullshit on the painless part."
She shrugged lightly before sitting down on her palm, "Secondly where would be the fun Regina, what will the books write: Saviour squished like a bug by the hands of former mayor. I'm aiming for something more like: Valiant Saviour, died aged 26-"
"30." Regina chirped, actually chirped.
"-aged 30", she scowled at Regina, "who hated the prophecy with a burning passion for mentioning the saviour's age, fell to her death after conquering The Queen's apple tree. The very same which bore the deadly fruit which cursed her mother." Her voice dropped to a loud whisper at the last part as though she was letting everyone in on a big secret.
Regina smirked, highly amused by the saviour's antics, "Is this one on your list, fantasising about death?"
"Better than being scared of it."
Regina shook her head, "I'm going to place you on this branch now, so be careful."
"Yeah yeah."
"Miss Swan." Regina warned making Emma scream out in frustration, "Yes already."
Regina placed her carefully on the branch right next to the trunk. Unknown to Emma she had enchanted the grass bed, what other choice had she? Regina was no longer convinced that Emma was an ordinary klutz.
"Wow, I mean look at the detailing on this bark. It's downright beautiful Regina."
Regina smiled at her tree, something she nurtured was beautiful.
"Regina, how do you think a worm gets to drill in inside an apple, like it's not like they have nails or fangs... or do they?"
Regina kept on admiring her tree happily making Emma roll her eyes, "Regina. Why are you ignoring me?"
"Mother taught me well to ignore idiots."
"It's a good thing she's not here- dammit. It's like I can't stop. Carry on ignoring me... I'm clearly the king of idiots."
"True. True." Regina turned to look at Emma and an unholy shrieked left her lips, "Emma!"
Emma was trying to reach an apple hanging below her and the position she was in appeared dangerous but surprisingly she had been stable. That was before the shout which made her lose balance and she slipped off the bark, her hands slipping around the apple now to get a grip.
"Dammit Regina, why'd ya have to shout?" Emma managed to reach and dig in her hands inside the indentation where the stalk joining the fruit with the branch resided.
Regina made a move towards the hanging sheriff but another shout of Emma's name made both parties freeze.
"Regina, please tell me ventriloquism is on your fantasy list?"
A large rustling alerted them that the third person responsible for the shout was in close vicinity and could come in view any time and very clearly see Emma hanging on top of Regina like a mistletoe.
"Regina!" Emma called in panic out as she tried to swing up, her legs swaying to gain momentum.
Regina looked up to inform Emma that nothing would happen if she fell on the grass but her voice died when she saw Emma's hand slip.
TBC
Next Time: Well, a visitor, as you've already guessed.
...
A/N:
But can you guess who the visitor is? A lot of virtual brownies at stake. Or pancakes, whatever tickles your pickle.
Wolfsbane? Stirring clock-wise? Yeah I'm on Pottermore, wanna make something of it?
By the way, you know how innocent my browsing history used to be when I was writing one-shots... like "Does the WV bug have a sun-visor?" Now it's all "Can someone die if they fall into a pool of alcohol?" or "Can someone die if they get trapped inside a fridge?" Basically there is a 'Can someone die if they're as awesome as tiny!Emma?' pattern. Suicidal klutz for sure.
The answer is yes, someone can die if they get trapped inside a fridge, and it's not because of the temperature, but the limited oxygen supply due to the vacuum created inside. So, don't. It's tempting but don't!
And the grey mouse in Tom and Jerry, as most of you know, is Nibbles. I used to adore that little fella. I still make obnoxious cooing sounds when I spot him on TV.
Lots of love coming your way! xx