In a luxury suite at the Hay-Adams hotel the next morning, Jane awoke with his lovely bride fully cuddled into him. He smiled contentedly with a slow inhale, taking her scent deeply into himself for safekeeping. As he gazed lovingly at the woman who had changed the trajectory of his life more than he could measure, her pale green eyes flickered open sleepily.
"Good morning, dearest Teresa."
She stretched fully, pressing into him in the most arousing way.
"Every morning I wake up to your blue eyes is more than good, sweet Patrick. I have never been happier. I love you so much." She gently tucked her face into the curve of his neck, mindfully taking in everything about this moment with her new husband.
"I agree, love. Every morning that I wake up with you beside me feels so much like a dream that I want to pinch myself. This exact dream, actually, has played over and over in my mind for so many years that I'm surprised today that it's true and you're actually here. That you truly love me. That you actually agreed to this." He chuckled despite himself, at the unlikeliness of the whole thing.
She smiled at his laughter. "True! If you would have told me during those early years that you would be my husband someday, I would have had you drug tested!" She let go some chuckles of her own. "But I felt innately responsible for your well-being right from day one. The tragedy of your story pulled at my heart, which is expected I suppose. But I could never explain how clearly I could see into your sheltered heart. Your inner-goodness. The vulnerable side that you tried so hard to keep hidden. I was keenly aware that you showed more of your inner-self to me than anyone else on the team, and that view absolutely compelled me to keep you safe from all harm - physical, emotional, or psychological."
"And I absolutely loved having you as my protector!" He chimed.
"Eventually it got to the point where I was anxious any time you were out of sight. I always tried to convince myself that it was about the extra paperwork I expected your actions would cause me, but the truth is that I was thoroughly preoccupied with the well-being of your fragile heart and your overall self."
He squeezed her more tightly as her words caused his now-fully-healed heart to squeeze.
"Then, I started to notice that the anxiety was actually a twinge of a pain in my heart at your absence. That I didn't just feel duty-bound to protect you from harm, but that, in fact, I missed you terribly when we were apart."
"I felt it too, lovely Lisbon. And I had a sense that you felt the same way, but I had no business acting on any of it - not with how our lives were back then."
She nodded in agreement, interrupting him with a bouquet of loving kisses.
They spent a long time in bed, just talking and cuddling, enjoying each other's company, and marveling at the fact that they were finally, officially married.
Later that morning, when they couldn't ignore their empty stomachs any longer, Jane answered a knock at the door and ushered in several rolling trays of foods to choose from for their first brunch as husband and wife.
They ate leisurely, looking deeply into one another's eyes, faint smiles on both of their faces at the complete contentment and happiness of the morning.
As Jane collected plates and utensils from the table to put onto the bussing tray, Lisbon inquired about their next destination.
"So, you still haven't told me where we're going for our honeymoon. Are you ever gonna let me in on that Jane?"
"Patience, woman!" he teased. "She just has no patience!" He uttered, gesturing to the air, before relaxing into a solitary dining chair.
Lisbon had had enough of his fun. Her eyes glinted as she quickly walked over and straddled him on the seat, sitting face-to-face. She held steady, just centimeters from touching his lips. Enjoying his rare look of surprise, she leaned in, allowing her cheek to barely brush his, as she spoke sweet flirtations into his ear. She smiled wide as she felt his firmness grow full, pressing against the inseam of the cotton shorts she wore under her sleeping jersey. As he pulled her close, capturing her lips and slipping his hands under to slide the jersey off of her, she pulled back quickly.
"Ah ah ah!" She wagged a finger at her husband in admonishment, wrapping her other arm across her waist to stop his progress in disrobing her. "Who's the impatient one now?" She grinned in jest, reveling in the fact that she'd gained the upper hand.
Taken completely aback, Jane wore a look of awe. He was thoroughly impressed with her countermove in their post-breakfast banter. "Well-played, my dear!" He smiled wide, thoroughly enjoying this game. "But please," he implored with puppy dog eyes, "could we have our dessert now, my love?"
She could never resist that smile or those baby blues. Plus, the pressure of his throbbing self beneath her was reigniting her own impatience, despite her determination to remain in control. "Dessert would be most delicious, Patrick." She grinned seductively, holding both arms up to allow him to lift her shirt away at long last, while grinding her hips pleasurably against him.
Her movements drew a low groan from her husband, and propelled him to his feet - her arms and legs wrapping around him. He carried her to the soft silken sheets of the nearby bed while simultaneously finding creative ways to massage her breasts, in turn, without the use of his hands. She hummed with pleasure at his touch, and the two melted fully into each other with abundant ecstasy.
Lisbon was curious and a bit nostalgic when she learned the first leg of their honeymoon consisted of a series of quick overnights in Sacramento.
After dropping off their bags at the hotel, the newlyweds stood together, arms around each other, sharing memories of their earliest days, while gazing at the former CBI building from its attached parking lot.
"I had no idea how my life would change the day I wandered into this building. I was so lost. Had no clue that I had inadvertently stumbled my way into being found…"
She leaned into him. She was so thankful that she'd been the one to find him. Sure, the whole team had kind of taken him in like a stray of sorts. But she was the one who had seen furthest into his heart. For as much as he could read people, Teresa had a unique sense of the light that still burned in him. She saw the goodness behind the games… the unpolished gem that was his true self. (Or maybe it was simply that she had refused to believe his claims that he was a cheat, a liar, a charlatan and nothing else.)
"Changed my life pretty substantially too, love. At first, I'd chalked it up to intense curiosity, given that we all had heard about your tragic story. But I can't deny how completely drawn I was to you - especially when your guesses about cases turned out to be nearly always right."
"Nearly?" He questioned, eyes dancing with fun.
Lisbon suppressed an amused grin. "From the first day we met, there was something powerful. I felt so wholly connected to you. Couldn't explain it. Was often infuriated by it. But I could never deny the strength of our connection."
Patrick greeted her words with a kiss, before blithely leading her to the car. He couldn't wait for their next stop.
In minutes, they were sitting across a bistro table from each other, admiring a delicious ice cream sundae.
"I'm so glad the place is still in business!" Lisbon sighed from their rooftop perch, taking in the once-familiar view of Sacramento and the Tower Bridge.
"As am I, my dear! And, I have a confession - One I almost made the night we were packing up your house in Austin."
Lisbon's ears perked, her head tilted a bit and her eyebrows pushed together with curiosity.
"When we found this menu," he pulled the item smoothly from his pocket, placing it beside her spoon with a flourish, "we shared a quick moment of nostalgia, I know. But what went through my mind specifically was this: Those conversations were like therapy to me - and I don't mean the quacks-wearing-coats kind, but the real kind." He winked, the punctuate that point, as Teresa let go a short laugh of recognition. "Those were my first remembrances of belonging, again. That time spent as partners reminded me of what it meant to be held by another person. Not physically, but emotionally… The bond that became more apparent with every scoop saved me more than once. Teresa, if you only knew how integral you were to my survival, even in - especially in - those early days."
Lisbon reached across the table to hold his hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze through her blurred vision from tears.
"I'm grateful for those talks, too, sweetest Patrick."
Jane's smile grew, and he involuntarily chuckled a sigh of acknowledgement. He had long suspected as much, but was nonetheless greatly affected to hear how meaningful their rooftop 'dates' had been for her as well.
"Not only was the ice cream always delicious," she paused for a quick bite, "but those chats were where I discovered parts of the real you. When we were on cases or in the bullpen you were always so completely zipped up, always controlling what you allowed people to see. But something about this rooftop always seemed to relax your controls just enough for little crumbs of honesty and revelation to escape." She relaxed into a comfortable smile, her eyes projecting a sparkle of triumph at her past self's ability to figure out her enigma-of-a-consultant, even a little bit.
The next day, they packed their things and got in the car for what Jane had described merely as a 'long drive.'
Hours later, the Pacific coastline began peeking in and out of view. They stopped in several scenic places throughout the length of Big Sur, and were now approaching familiar territory to their shared past - especially as it pertained to Jane.
Late in the day, Lisbon stifled a gasp as she recognized an upcoming landmark. Noticing the slight discomfort in his wife's demeanor, Jane parked by the split rail fence, walked around to open the passenger door, and reached for Lisbon's hand. With conflicting emotions, she held onto him, as he guided her to the familiar beach overlook at the pinnacle of the bluff. As they stood, Teresa looked around uncomfortably, not sure why exactly he'd chosen this spot as one of their honeymoon stops. Jane gently cradled her chin, and guided her to look at him.
"The last time we were here, I hurt you… I tricked you… I abandoned you. I'm so deeply sorry for that, Teresa." His voice broke a little, but his tearful eyes maintained their focus… seemingly right into the center of her heart and soul.
Despite the spectacular sunset that spread before them across the sea, reflecting in the film of tears filling her own eyes, Lisbon's full attention was on her husband. "Jane…" she pleaded, full of emotion. She had made it clear more than once that she held none of the past against him - not since things had changed.
But still, he desperately needed her to hear his words now. "And it's important to me that you know this truth: I am never leaving you again Lisbon."
Those words… She had almost forgotten how much her heart had still needed to hear them. she had read them, once, in one of his island letters. But hearing the syllables play across his lips triggered something deep inside her, prompting her to immediately pull him into an all-encompassing embrace, that held them both with unrivaled intensity.
For Jane's part, he had always wanted a do-over of that long-ago sunset. He confessed to her now, that on that dreadful night he'd had no choice but to tell her everything she meant to him, because it may have possibly been his last chance.
He paused… struggling with whether to go on…
Finally, remembering that they were being honest with each other now, he forced himself to say it:
That he had always intended the Red John chase to end in murder-suicide. How, when he finally had the bastard pinned under his weight and had ended it, he'd afterward pointed her own gun to his blonde chin, then hesitated… unable to pull the trigger… hearing her imagined tears in his mind.
Lisbon's heart clenched tight and the muscles in her larynx seized with such ferocity that she felt her vocal folds may tear apart. Unable to speak, she simply clung to Jane, silent tears leaking onto his shoulder. Trembling at the alternate reality that had been only an impulse - or a bullet - away. Praying desperate thanks for being spared that desolate fate. She held him so tightly, as if saving him from himself all over again… as if she was afraid that loosening her grip might allow him to slide away into the cruel intentions of the past… never to be seen again.
Quietly sobbing, Teresa willed her voice to sound. "Thank you… I would have been so lost without you, Patrick… I don't know if… if I would have survived such a devastation."
His eyes were as tearful and red as they'd been on the night he'd first confessed his feelings for her. "That exact possibility is what stopped me cold. Up to then I was solely focused on vengeance, on stopping the mind games once and for all. Focused on what I felt I owed to Angela and Charlotte. On ending the pain and on punishing the guilty. Myself included."
"Jane…" she hid her face in his shoulder, afraid her heart would break into shattered pieces. She was always crushed when he talked about himself that way.
"But then I looked down the barrel of that gun… your gun, Teresa… and I was immediately accosted by visions of you. Of you, hurt and sad. Of your eyes looking into me with that empathy and concern they always held. Of you, riddled with undeserved guilt because it had been your gun. Because you had let me go when you could have seen to it that I was safely captured. I couldn't do it. And I was angry at my inability to follow through - angry that I was somehow letting my family down…"
Lisbon's heart was in shambles at the thought "No! Patrick, you—"
"But I was also determined to not let you down, Teresa." He took both of her hands in his own, as if massaging the truth of his words into them. "It became clear to me, in that moment, that using the gun on myself was the decision that actually would be letting my family down… Because I realized then that…" he swallowed, hard, struggling with emotion, "that my family… is you."
The look he saw in her eyes then would stay with him for the remainder of his days.
"I love you with everything I am, Patrick Jane." Lisbon breathed, through tears, kissing him with tenderness and devotion.
All of her gratitude and overwrought emotion from Jane's day of 'revelations and re-setting their history' went into her lovemaking with him that night. He felt the absolute imperative nature of it all… thoroughly warmed at how his almost obsessively planned day of remembrance and cleansing had affected her even more wonderfully than he'd imagined. Renewed by the chance to be so fully honest with her now. So grateful to have expunged what he'd seen as a blot on their relationship, created by his own actions, in a time when he'd had fewer choices. Finally able to lock the door to that shameful room in his memory palace. Sensing how his lover had also been freed by the day's activities, Jane drifted to a sound sleep, wearing a contented smile.