"So quick question, I'm thinking about bear claws, and surprisingly they're still not here."

"Emma, you have magic, you're not a vending machine." Regina exclaimed and drew in a deep breath before she continued, "You need to learn how to access it before being able to freely use it for gluttony. Strong feelings-"

"Excuse me", Emma feigned hurt, "You have no idea how strongly I feel for bear claws. If I could I would take 'em to Nevada and marry the hell out of them."

Regina shook her head but Emma cut in before she could say anything, "And do not say I'm a child because I'd be doing some pretty adult things to them."

Emma's eyes misted over from laughing when she took in the look of revulsion on Regina's face. Regina, muttering barely audible curses, turned to stand up and Emma stifled her laugh, trying to put on a sober face.

"Ok ok. I'll be serious now."

Regina looked at her in exhaustion, "You're impossible."

"Well, right back at ya. I mean I can't believe you're not doing the in-your-face dance yet." Emma said as she leant her back on the vase kept in the middle, trying to reach the white lily drooping till just above her outstretched hand.

"I must warn you that there is a limit to what you think you can request", Regina said as she lightly flickered her wrist from below the counter and watched as the stalk bent down, just a little bit, "There will be no dancing."

"No I mean you're not lording over the fact that it was in the end my own fault." Emma peeled off a single long petal and inspected the soft sheet of white, "You even told me to go to Mother Superior in the first place and I didn't listen to you. And then it turned out my mo-Mary Margaret was the reason you couldn't turn me back when you tried." Emma looked at her, impressed as her hands remained busy with the petal, "Look who's starting to let things go now."

"Well, I'm just a better hostess than some", Regina swiftly flicked her hair back, "And, and there are just.. more important things at hand."

Emma watched her curiously, "Like me?"

Regina quickly glanced away making Emma puff out her chest, "Oh shit, it is me!"

Regina tutted, "I could never have thought it possible, to trap such a huge ego in such a small body."

"Hey. It's ok, I know I'm pretty special." Emma said, hiding her smile by lowering her head.

Regina narrowed her eyes at the blonde, "Yes, so special that for some reason, you had a great desire to hide or escape that you actually condensed yourself to a size rivalling a matchbox. But you know", Regina looked up in contemplation, "I can actually place that with your nature, but I just don't see how you can unknowingly sabotage the mushroom that could have freed you from this curse."

Emma tried to casually shrug it off, "Well maybe I could have been a little.. not looking forward to jump into the real world that very moment, whatever."

"Emma, you can't-"

"You know, I just don't think you're a good teacher Regina. I mean you can tell people what to do but the how is a big problem." Emma said cheekily, trying to distract her.

"And just what does that mean?"

"I'm just saying", Emma straightened up, "Miss Swan, complete your paperwork, sit up, eyes front, behave yourself, do magic, spit-spot." she slumped back, "That's you, all commanding."

"I definitely do not talk like that." When Emma paused and raised her eyebrows Regina huffed, "Fine. Go on then, goto your precious father-in-law. He'll teach you all sorts of magic and emotions."

"Hey, uncalled for. I told you how much I hate him and his little rumpling."

"Oh I can't wait to meet that mouse of yours." Regina said, internally seething. What sort of imbecile leaves his love to fend for herself in difficulties? And to think Henry was birthed in jail because of that rat. Oh she definitely couldn't wait.

"Oh shit Regina, you think you can turn him into a real mouse?" Emma asked a little too excitedly, Regina was not sure if Emma was still joking.

"Gladly."

Emma's eyes gleamed with mischief, "What else do you think can we do to him?"

"We can get him one of those elaborate cages and put teenage blondes at the end for him to sniff out." Regina drawled out.

"Hey, that's not funny", Emma said despite the snort that escaped her, "Man Regina, your jokes come off as plain mean." Emma smiled at the petal she had twisted and folded till it formed the shape of a rose, all thanks to the one summer she'd wasted learning origami off the internet.

"Maybe if I smile coyly and bat my lashes then you'll find them funny. Well atleast your father will."

Emma cringed, "Yeah… That. Can you stop it? I mean I know you're not serious, well God I hope not, but it's so… can you… not."

It was Regina's turn to cringe, "What, you think I've done this? If it's anyone's fault it's Archie's. He put vague ideas of unfinished romances in your father's head because we both know he is not capable of thinking such things himself."

Emma's expression soured, she looked from the flower in her hand to Regina, "Unfinished romances?"

When Regina said nothing on the matter Emma took a step back before sitting down and roughly started opening the flower up, "Fine, whatever, it's your life, you can do whatever the hell you want. And I don't feel like doing magic now, so I'm just going to wait for Blue Fairy. And if I ever want to learn about magic I'll just go to Gold."

Regina blinked, "Excuse me?"

Emma just turned around, facing away from a baffled Regina.

"This might be your last day in this state, isn't there anything you want to do. Something off that perilous list of yours?"

"Why do you care?"

Regina walked around the marble top to look at Emma, "I don't understand what I did to offend you."

"Oh, hitting on my dad is not offensive." Emma said as she tore the petal into smaller fragments, reducing its size bit by bit, "What is it, is it his weird stubble, his stupid blue beady eyes?"

"You realise you are insulting your own father."

"No I get it, you want a prince on a horse deal, so fucking typical."

"What are you talking about? What are we talking about? Are you ill?" Regina cried out, "Is it because you've not eaten anything since morning? I knew I should have fed you sooner."

There was a knock on the door.

"Oh look, your prince is here." Emma said with sarcasm as she blew the minute specks of the pearly blossom she had wanted to give Regina into the air.

Regina left the kitchen, confused and irritated.

"Hey Regina, I dropped back Blue." David said, his hand reaching behind his neck.

"Like you said you would, congratulations David." Regina deadpanned. Both the Charmings always seemed adamant on annoying her. Regina turned in the kitchen's direction when David cleared his throat, halting her before she could even reach the steps.

"So, uh", David outstretched his hand and there was a Granny's bag in it, "I wanted to apologise."

"I thought we were over this." Regina gritted out as her hands found her pockets again.

"No, that was for", he coughed into his fist before shaking his head, "This is for accusing you of shrinking Emma. I was wrong to assume."

"David there really is no need..." Regina trailed off when she saw David walking towards her, smiling. He held Regina's wrist and gently brought her hand up, sliding it out of her pocket and his other hand placed the bag on her open palm which was now resting on his, "Please."

"Oh", she looked from the bag to the kitchen to David, "Ok this needs to stop now."

"What?"

The next few seconds were a blur when suddenly every sense in Charming's body felt like it was on fire. His back was digging on something hard behind, two strong hands clutched his flannel shirt, all his eyes could see was brown and the smell of apples consumed him as velvet locks tickled his nose. Blinking, he realised Regina had pressed him against the closed door, breathing heavily into his ear.

"Charming", the hot whisper in his ear made his eyes roll back, "Charming!"

"Regina?" David shook his head, "Regina what are you- what are you doing?"

"Tell me Charming, do you like me?" she asked in a low feral whisper, urgent like his life, not hers, depended on it.

Regina's chest was heaving which was terribly distracting David, "Wha-" he choked out of his dry throat.

One of the small hands released his shirt and tightly gripped his chin making him turn. Regina's nose came dangerously close to his as she breathed into his lips, "I want you to take me away from this horrid place", brown eyes darted from his eyes to his lips, "you'll do that won't you", she imposed as she traced the side of his jaw with her manicured thumb nail, "where it's just you and me" she paused and then added as an afterthought, "And sheep.. maybe.. if you want."

Both her hands cupped his face, "Will you?"

David mesmerised by the distance and the sultry voice nodded dumbly making Regina's eyes narrow in.

"You will?" she asked sternly pushing David a little roughly behind and making his head come in contact with the wood, effectively breaking the euphoric bubble he had been floating in, "What? NO! No, I love Snow. I will die before I leave her."

Regina's eyes softened with a single blink, "Are you sure?"

"If I could I would tattoo her image inside my eye lids so she would be the first and last thing I see everyday for the rest of my life." David got out in one long breath.

"I", Regina pressed her lips together before releasing a breath as she shook her head slightly, "I am going to pretend I didn't hear that. You really love Snow?"

David nodded fervently, prying Regina's hands off his face. Regina dropped her head on his shoulder, a little too strongly making him wince, as her body shaking slightly, "They why would you toy with me so?"

"I'm so sorry Regina, I never should have said anything. This was a silly crush, I honestly don't know what came over me. I'll never ever bother you again, I swear on my life."

Regina kept shaking but this time she couldn't keep the laughter silent, making David's eyes widen.

"Oh you", David spat, still heaving, "you evil-evil witch."

"At least you're over your silly crush now." Regina said, her voice blasé as she pulled back, "Now pick up your cake and come inside, your daughter is waiting for you."

"I-Christ!" David put his hands on his knees, wheezing, "I'll be there in a minute." He slowly slid down as he dropped his head in his lap, willing his heart to stop beating so fast.

"Hey, was that David?" Emma said earnestly when she saw Regina coming in.

Regina nodded at the fidgeting figure who was waiting to say something. She opened her fridge and spotted an apple when she heard Emma clear her throat.

"Look I'm sorry if I was being a little blunt, but I think", Emma stood on her tip toes, her back arched slightly as she laid heavy stress on the next word, "Henry, you know our son, yours and mine - the kid, he wouldn't really appreciate you going at it with his grandfather, his married grandfather for that matter." Emma felt very proud of finding an argument Regina would have to heed to, and her smug face was proof of it.

Regina rolled her eyes at the blonde's antics, "As much as I am devastated having you pointing that out, I've already taken care of your daddy dearest problem."

Emma watched her go around the counter sitting on one of the chairs, "Huh?"

That moment David entered with his phone on his ear.

"-Yep that's the only reason I called Snow, because I'm an idiot who doesn't say I love you enough - Of course I'm looking after Emma, that has nothing to do with - Fine - Fine - I said fine - Ok, remember I love only and only y-" he pulled off the phone when the line suddenly got disconnected. He sighed and pocketed it as he resumed walking.

David smiled at Emma before pulling back a chair, "Hello Emma, how are you doing at the evil hag's lair?" David narrowed his eyes behind his daughter.

Emma looked between the two, "Uh... umm?"

Regina chuckled throatily as she bit into her apple, before offering the fruit, "Care for a bite charming?"

"Oh bite me."

"Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Regina said with a low husk.

Charming pressed his lips together and looked away, but despite his resolve his shoulders slowly started shaking in silent laughter before he shook his head and let out a strangled 'Oh God'. At his outburst Regina covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she controlled her own laugh.

Emma's head kept revolving around the two figures unsure of what exactly had taken place in the two minutes Regina had left the kitchen.

TBC

Next time: The right motivations monopolise the desired results. The penultimate chapter.