I Broke the Rules
"What do you mean, Father?"
"Jedi are taken from their parents before their second birthday."
"You never knew your family?" Luke asked softly.
"I had a mother I had to leave behind," Anakin said, his lips pulling themselves in a tight line. As Luke watched his father's eyes flickered yellow once, twice, and then changed back to their blue hue. Luke realized he was fighting the Dark Side, and that their was something about Luke's grandmother that was tied to his descent into the darkness. "And I had a wife...and now I have children. Have you ever been in love, Luke?"
Luke could have laughed at the idea of it. Lord Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, was asking Luke Skywalker, former farm boy, about love. "No, I've never had that privilege, Father. You loved my mother?"
"With every breathe of my body."
Luke envied his father the love his spoke of, love the Luke had never felt, but was sure existed. "And she loved you?"
"I sincerely hope so," Anakin whispered.
Luke knew that what he had suspected was false. He had assumed that they had separated and perhaps that had drove him to the dark side. He hoped that his father would tell him why. At that moment See Three-poi came in. "Master Luke, I am receiving a communication from Master Solo."
"Patch him through," Luke replied. "If you will excuse me for just a moment, Father."
"Go ahead," Anakin replied, using the Force to turn off the holo-recorder. As Luke went into another room, Anakin took a breathe. He wanted to tell his son of what he had done, but it was still a struggle. Even after all these years, the memory of his mother's death still brought back so many emotions. He had seen the slight spike of fear reflected in Luke's eyes, so much like the last time he had seen Padme. He had been mad with rage, high on the power of the dark side, seeing betrayal everywhere, and he had had a chance. He could have saved her, he could have gone away with her, but he killed her. He would not make that mistake again. He would never again harm anyone he shared blood with. It was that thought that had briefly banished the demon. He wanted to see his daughter, but he had to give her time. He doubted that she even knew he yet lived. Luke didn't trust him enough, he thought bitterly. She was as of yet untouched by either the light or dark side of the Force. He put the thought from his mind. He wanted his family together. He would trust Luke's judgment for now, but there was something about his past that was nagging him, he just couldn't figure out what.
Luke came back in and frowned. "There are rumors about the Grand Moff's enslaving planets and star systems, that even the death of the Emperor wasn't enough to destroy the Empire."
Anakin wasn't surprised. "The birth of the Empire wasn't enough to destroy the Old Republic. Even the death of the Jedi Order wasn't enough for their fire to cease from the universe."
"What are you saying?"
"They are in chaos. They don't know whose in command."
"With the Empire's death who does that leave in command?"
"Me."
Luke frowned although he had known that was the answer. "And with the Death of Lord Vader?"
"There was never a scenario with both the Emperor and I dead. At one time it would have been Tarkin, but with the destruction of the Death Star..."
"The one I destroyed."
"Tarkin wouldn't abandon it. He was proud of that technological terror. I advised him to abandon it, to flee. He refused."
"He was your friend?"
"Hardly. His sole purpose was to take my place, to usurp me as second in command."
Luke shook his head, unable to understand the iniquities of the life his father had lived as the Emperor's lapdog. "So you could end this conflict."
"I could."
"What do you want?"
"I want to make things right. I want to see Leia."
"I don't know, Father." He knew his father well enough to know that he could easily twist what he was doing and keep the Empire, naming himself as Emperor. "It would mean letting everyone know you were alive. I don't know what would happen then. I thought we were going to destroy the suit. It would mean going back into it."
"No. It would mean letting everyone know that Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader."
"Why didn't you want people to know."
Darth Vader sighed. "Anakin Skywalker was a sign of hope. I did what I could to erase him from the history holos, but there was some things I could not erase. He was a legendary pilot, and I began to believe that it was the only thing we had in common."
"But you are the same man..." Luke asked confused.
"We inhabit the same body, but the Emperor believed we weren't. I began to believe as he did. There were times that Anakin Skywalker slipped through, and I was punished for my insolence."
"Punished?"
"I spent a couple of weeks in the med bay," Anakin answered shrugging. He stretched his prosthesis and stood, for the first time in days. "Luke, about Bespin, I'm sorry," Anakin offered.
"It's alright. It was a test. You know what hurt more than my arm was knowing what you were and knowing that Ben lied."
"Obi-Wan wouldn't have seen it as a lie."
"No, from his point of view it was the truth." Luke was learning a lot about his father. His father still hovered between the dark and the light, between letting him get to know Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker. He would talk about his life as Vader and then throw in something so human, Luke couldn't help but feel for him. He was not the machine people believed him to be. He was very human. And he had suffered.
"Your mother would be very proud of you, Luke. If things had been different we would have raised both of you, and Obi-Wan would have been like an uncle to you. But I ruined it. The fault is not Obi-Wan's but mine. I listened to the wrong advise, I made the wrong mistakes. Don't repeat my mistakes, son."
Luke was silent. His father truly was an enigma. He wondered if he would ever understand. "Will you come with me to Kamino. I want to see Anakin Skywalker again."
"Alright, I can't promise it will be more than a surface difference."
"You've broke the rules before. Yoda said that once you start down the dark side, it would dominate your destiny forever."
"He's not wrong, son."