Confessions

Padme Amidala Skywalker, the Former Queen and Senator of Naboo, flitted in and out of dreams, of memories. She looked across her in the bed, wondering about the missing appearance of her husband, and her child, the babies, what happened to them? Why had Anakin…fought with Obi-Wan. The memories hurt her head. There was good in Anakin, she could never had loved one so corrupt, he had to believe her. She looked around frantically for the Jedi Master. The last thing she remembered was giving birth to her children, to Luke and Leia Skywalker. They had been so small, so tiny, but where were they? Padme wondered how she had gotten here, at the Lake House. It was where she had planned to raise their child; she hadn't realized there would be two Skywalker babies. She half-laughed, half-sobbed as she got up and went into the room that she had intended to be the nursery. Where were her babies? Why weren't they crying for their mother? Oh, Anakin, she thought, what has become of us? She vaguely remembered telling Anakin that their love would destroy them, had it been prophetic. A memory seized her.

"It's alright, Senator Amidala, you will be taken care of," a member of the Red Guard had said to her. She had struggled to sit up, to fight, to call out to Anakin or the Jedi Master but found herself paralyzed.

"No, I have powerful friends, you cannot harm me without repercussions," she managed to say.

"The Emperor has decided you are too dangerous to be left as you are. You are a danger to Lord Vader." She frowned, was he talking about Anakin? This was not the plan, she was supposed to fake her death and go into hiding until she could figure out a way to bring her husband back.

"Are you going to kill me?" she asked the man, who was clearly using the Force to incacipate her.

"No, you are to be kept safe, as a way to ensure Lord Vader's loyalty."

"Anakin will never be controlled by one so evil. Anakin's heart, his courage are too blinding to ever be controlled by the Son of a Sith Palpatine. He will fall."

"Not when he knows your location," the Red Guard added before carrying her off. She felt a syringe be injected and everything went dark.

What had happened to her? What had happened to Anakin? Had Palpatine controlled him? They were always trying to use her against him. She wished fervently for her blaster, going back to the bedroom she found one that she hid in her robe. She walked around the gardens and saw a man already there. "Who are you and what do you want?" she asked, pointing the blaster at his back. "This is my home," she continued, "And I will not be made a hostage to be bartered, and you can tell that to your Emperor," she threatened. The man held up his hands and turned around. She searched his blue eyes looking for traces of evil, and finding none, she heard the clatter as the blaster dropped from her hands. One word fell from her lips, but that one word was enough to heal the man in front of her. "Ani?" she fell into his arms, touching his face, his arms, his hair, his chest. He was real, he was alive, and he was hers.

"Padme?" his voice croaked, questioning and searching. He held his mechanical hand under her chin forcing him to meet her eyes. His heart burst with love, with regret, with guilt. He would have stood there and let her shoot him, it was no less than he deserved. He didn't deserve her that was for sure, he deserved whatever pain she caused him, and yet she had run into his arms without another thought. She was excited to see him.

"Obi-Wan told me such terrible things," she whispered, sobbing against his chest, and clinging to him. Anakin froze at those words. Obi-Wan was dead. It was like Mustafar all over again. Anakin's mind was in a whirl, he wouldn't lie to her, he wasn't sure that he could. He met her eyes even with the guilt he felt. "He said that you turned to the Dark Side, that you killed younglings," and as before she was looking for him to deny it.

"Padme, let's go inside, we have a lot to talk about." She paused, confused, she looked into his blue eyes and saw the guilt they held.

"I think I would prefer to talk out here," she replied, stiffly as she stood next to him. She had stopped touching him but stayed close to his side. Anakin nodded just as stiffly and led them to the gazebo as he waited for her to sit. She held his hand and he sat as well.

"The things I'm about to tell you won't be easy for you to hear. They won't be easy for me to say. I have never lied to you, never tricked you. You are very strong-minded. I have helped you to develop shields around your mind, you know this to be true," he replied. "I love you, Padme, I have always loved you, and I always will. I'm lost without you," he told her, squeezing her hand and tracing the patterns of her hand with his own. It fit so right into his own flesh and blood hand.

"Anakin, you are a Jedi, you are a good man, a good person."

"I haven't always been. I don't know that I can be again, but I'm going to try," he stated, "I want to be a man that you deserve and I don't think I am, I know that I'm not. You've always been an angel to me, and I messed up, I listened to the wrong person, I thought what I was doing was right, that there was no other choice. I was wrong."

"We all make mistakes, Ani. To err is to be human."

"A Jedi cannot afford the same mistakes. To be a Jedi is to be better," Anakin replied as tears of regret filled his eyes. "Obi-Wan was right. I did turn to the Dark Side."

"No, Ani," she shook her head in disbelief. There is good in you, I can feel it," she touched her heart, "I feel it in here, and" she laid her hand on his heart, "And in here."

"You don't remember what happened on Mustafar?" he asked her, citing a planet that had always haunted him. She touched her neck, and nodded briefly.

"You were struggling with something…." She prompted.

"I discovered the Chancellor Palpatine was the Sith Lord we had been searching for. He confessed to me. I was duty bound to report it to the Jedi Council," Anakin explained. "He told me he had the powers to save you…from my nightmares."

"Oh, Ani," she replied, running her hands through his hair. Anakin had noticed his son watching them, he knew with his Jedi hearing he could probably hear everything. He had probably either sensed his presence or sensed his emotions and come to check. Anakin raised an eyebrow at his son, and playfully poked him with the Force. "He told me about the Petition you signed. How everyone on that list would be executed."

"I should have told you," Padme said. "But Palpatine was your friend; I didn't want you to feel like I was forcing you to choose. You were already under so much strain, with me being pregnant, and with the assignment from the Jedi Council, I didn't want to add to it," she added. Anakin put his arms around here.

"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for, nothing to be sorry for. I won't hear of it," he declared, earning a smile from her. "The guilt belongs to me and me alone. A Jedi is not to feel fear. Here I was being hailed as the 'Hero with No Fear' and that's all I felt. He knew about our marriage. I drew my lightsaber against him. He told me he would keep you safe and that we would be able to save you," tears of regret fell from Anakin's eyes. "I should have known better, but I was so blinded. I hadn't been sleeping well, every time I closed my eyes, I saw you, in pain, calling for me, and Obi-Wan reassuring you. It got where I could see it while I was awake too."

"How long before you slept?"

"The night you told me you were pregnant," Anakin replied after a moment. He should have felt it but he didn't, she slapped him hard against the face.

"How could you? Did you have no concern for any of us? You know that no one can function without sleep for two weeks. Not sleeping impairs your decision making abilities, and your reasoning." Anakin blinked as he gazed at her. He had been out of his mind with worry and now she was blaming what he did on lack of sleep. "I knew something was wrong on Mustafar," she muttered to herself. "Why didn't Obi-Wan know?" Anakin wasn't sure.

"He knew I was stressed, he said as much before he left to destroy Grevious, but hey Padme, this is my fault not Obi-Wan's."

"Why didn't the Jedi know? I should have known," she said with a frown.

"This is not your fault, Padme, I accept full responsibility for ignoring the will of the Force and the consequences it caused. I found Master Windu and explained to him what the Chancellor had confessed. He ordered me to stay in the Council chambers; I should have listened to him. I was impulsive as ever, and I caused his death. He was about to execute the Chancellor and I couldn't let him die, not when he had the power to save you. I struck out at Master Windu."

"You murdered him?" Padme asked with gasp.

"I cut his hand off and Palpatine finished him off. I was so shocked, I didn't even remember activating my lightsaber," Anakin admitted. He had never admitted that to anyone. "Next thing I knew Master Windu was flying out the window, and I couldn't believe I had acted against a Jedi, I was in such turmoil. Palpatine….Sidious…he said they had been plotting against him. That together we would save you, that you would be safe from execution as well, that he wouldn't press charges, if I joined him. I had no choice, Padme. And then he formed this bond with me, it was searing and painful, I nearly couldn't think, the pain was so burning, and he destroyed my bond with Obi-Wan in the same instance. I don't remember much about what happened until you arrived on Mustafar," Anakin explained. "I know I was responsible for the death of the Jedi, for their extermination, it was me who led the Clones into the Temple. I slaughtered the younglings. Obi-Wan was right," Anakin explained, choking back his tears. Padme placed her arms around him and attempted to soothe him.

"Anakin, I love you, listen to me. I love you. I will not leave you, I will not abandon you," she told him doing her best to soothe him. Luke jogged over to his father.

"What happened?" Luke asked, "Is he alright?" Padme looked at the young man; something about him seemed very familiar.

"You're a Jedi?" she asked with suspicion in her voice.

"Yes, I am," Luke answered evenly. Anakin had passed out from the memories, from the guilt, from the hurt. She held him as he slumped against her. Padme reacted quickly; she threw her body over his.

"You will not hurt him," she stated, her eyes flashing hotly. "He is as innocent as any other Jedi. And I for one offer him amnesty for his actions. He deserves a fair trial, and he will get one," she stated, protecting her husband.

"I am not here to hurt him, I am his son, "Luke stated as he watched the fight go out of her. She didn't move from her position over his father, but she was no longer trying to protect him, and as he watched she seemed to grow whiter and whiter until she passed out, falling onto of his father. "Rex, Ahsoka, I'm going to need some help," he added, and he saw the worry on their faces as they approached him. Great, he thought, this day just kept getting better and better. Luke picked up the smaller form of his mother and left Rex and Ahsoka to carry his larger father.

"Leia's missing," Ahsoka stated softly. "When's the last time you saw her?"