14. Discovery

Nick and Charlie fell into bed, the two of them wrapped tightly around each other.

It hadn't been great fun rummaging through David's room, but they'd had no choice if they wanted to take advantage of this auspiciously empty house. And they very much did.

A reluctant and confused Nellie had been quickly removed from the room with the promise of treats later to apologise. Her whines from behind the door soon fizzled out though…

Nick breathed all of Charlie in as he felt his bare chest push up against his, lips locked, Charlie's hands digging into his hair.

"What do you want, baby?" Nick asked, breathy against his lips.

"Take control," Charlie replied, feverishly pressing his lips to Nick's jaw. "Make me feel good."

Nick moaned, already nodding. "Of course. Always." He could feel the blood shooting through his system, pulsing through him at those words.

After one last kiss, Nick pulled back to grab the lube from the drawer and one of the condoms he'd pilfered off David. Charlie lay there, grinning carelessly. Nick raked his eyes up and down Charlie's bare form - and Charlie looked right back, face flushed, so attentive, so responsive. Like he would never have eyes for anyone else.

"Ready?" Nick breathed, climbing between Charlie's legs. He waited for Charlie's flustered "Yes," then leant down and pressed his lips to his chest, working his way down.

They were both already hard and wanting, everything easy from here; prepping him, easing him open… It was good. So good. Nick sank in and pushed his hips slowly forward.

Charlie gasped. "Nick -"

And Nick could hear the desire in his voice. He grinned, slowly pulled back out only to push in again, faster. And then faster. And then faster. Until they hit a perfect rhythm, until Charlie was moaning with every thrust, his legs curled around Nick's back.

Nick was so far lost into the feeling of Charlie all around him that it took him a moment to realise when something had changed.

Charlie became eerily quiet, no longer responding to him.

Nick stopped what he was doing immediately, cursing himself for his momentary lapse in thought. He paused mid-thrust and rested a hand on Charlie's warm side. "Charlie? Char?"

Charlie was in fact, completely still now, eyes open but distant, jaw slack, hands immobile at his sides. His legs had gone slack around Nick, his knees barely brushing Nick's sides. His breathing was shallow, slow and stuttering.

"Charlie?" Nick's voice came out lower this time, fear shredding the heat to dust.

There was still no response.

Nick bit his lip and slid out slowly, already softening considerably. "Did I hurt you?" He hovered over him, trying to tamper down his rising panic. "Charlie?"

Charlie slowly drew his arms up from his sides and curled them up against his chest. Not looking at Nick, he slowly twitched his head to one side, then the other, a clear 'no.'

"What's wrong? Charlie, talk to me."

The anxiety was ratcheting up inside Nick's chest. He'd never seen Charlie shut down so suddenly like that before, so completely - and in mid-throws of passion. Nick wanted to reach out and touch him, stroke his hair, his face, his hand, anything - but he knew that might not be what Charlie wanted right now. Instead, he sat there for a long moment, on edge, heartbeat thrumming through his head.

"Okay…" Nick breathed when Charlie still didn't respond. He ran a hand through his hair, then became very conscious of the fact that they were both entirely naked, skin sticky.

"I'm going to get you something to cover up, okay, my love?"

Nick scrambled quickly off the bed and grabbed a blanket from the wardrobe. After carefully covering Charlie with it, he quickly threw on some pants and returned to Charlie's side.

He now had his hands pressed over his face, as if hiding behind them. His knees were pressed together, folded toward his chest, toes curled into the sheets. There was a slight tremor in his fingers, chest barely rising with each breath.

Silently, Nick's heart crumbled. Charlie was not supposed to look like that. He was not supposed to look as if he were trying to make himself as small as possible, to take up the least amount of space, to keep himself quiet and contained. He was supposed to be feeling good, to be crying out and sharing sloppy kisses with Nick as they both came.

"Okay," Nick whispered. He curled up on his side, facing Charlie on the bed, hands hovering but not touching. "I need you to tell me what you need. Can you do that for me, baby?"

For a long moment, Charlie lay there motionless still. Then he slowly moved his head, hands still covering his face, side to side in another clear 'no.'

"Alright, that's okay. You don't have to talk. Just lie here for a bit, okay? I'm - I'm going to stroke your hair. Is that okay?"

The most miniscule shift of Charlie's chin was all the nod Nick needed. He reached out and gently began to smooth back Charlie's curls. After no more than four or five strokes, Charlie's eyes softened, relaxed and closed. He seemed to sigh against the feeling and Nick breathed a little easier.

And then Charlie tipped forward slightly into him. A muffled cry escaped his lips as he buried his face in Nick's chest.

"Oh, love…" Nick murmured and wrapped his arms around him.

Charlie finally moved his arms to cling right back to him and quietly wept into Nick's bare chest. Nick lay there, rocking Charlie gently back and forth, kissing his hair and stroking his back.

Once the tears had dried up, they both just lay there cuddling for a long while. Charlie could hear Nick's heart beating steadily beneath him and nothing could give him more comfort in the world.

"Nick," he breathed. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologise, baby."

"But I've ruined everything."

"You've ruined nothing, Char. Are - are you alright?"

Charlie grimaced. "I… I am now. But I don't think I was for… for a bit there."

"Were you… not enjoying it?" Nick swallowed against the rising dread.

"No, I was. I really really was, Nick, I promise. Right up until - until I left." Charlie could see the utter devastation still clear in Nick's face and wanted to cry again. "You did nothing wrong, Nick. Nothing at all. It's just my brain… that was very rude of it, I was enjoying myself…"

"I thought maybe," Nick shifted uncomfortably. "I'd done something to remind you of…"

"Ben?" Charlie shook his head adamantly. "No. At least I don't think so. There are literally no similarities. I think my brain is just fucked. Or not, as the case may be."

Nick did not smile. "I've been so worried about you today. At first I thought you were forcing yourself to be cheerful, but then after a while it seemed to be genuine. Was it?"

"How can you read me so easily, Nicholas?" Charlie smiled sadly and sighed. "I was pretending earlier at the roller rink. Sometimes if I don't pretend to be happy then I feel like I'll never be happy again. And pretending is better than nothing."

Nick's eyes widened, shining with unshed tears and Charlie's heart sank. He cupped Nick's cheek with one hand and stroked it with his thumb.

"But all the happiness you bring me is genuine, one hundred percent of the time. And despite what just happened, I'm happy right now. I've had a really good day, all things considered."

"How are you literally so perfect?" Nick whispered. "I love you."

"And I love you. I'm sorry we didn't get to… finish. We could… try again? If you want?"

Nick planted a kiss on Charlie's forehead and smiled sadly. "I don't think that's a good idea right now, love."

Charlie pouted and glanced down at his hands.

"We don't need to be having sex to have a nice time together, right? And don't you dare say sorry again!"

Charlie giggled softly as he sat up and wrapped the blanket more securely around himself. "We could take a shower… together. I don't mean… we could just shower?"

The way Nick's whole face brightened at the idea made Charlie's heart soar. He pulled Nick off the bed, keeping the blanket around him like a skirt as they shuffled out toward the bathroom together.

They soon found there really wasn't much space for the both of them in the shower, but the water was warm and soothing. They took it in turns to wash each other, taking their time to trace a map across each other's bodies.

"I know we said we shouldn't," said Nick. "But it's kind of difficult not to when you look like that."

Charlie looked up from the bottle of shower gel and grinned, abashed. "It's still on the table if you change your mind. And the table is infinitely big."

Nick swallowed thickly. An idea had been forming in his mind since they had stepped into the shower - but was he really ready for this? He decided he absolutely was.

Charlie put the shower gel back down on the shelf then gave Nick his full attention. He could practically see the cogs whirring in his head.

"What is it, darling?"

Nick grasped Charlie's shoulders to steady himself. "If you wanted… um… maybe I could… return the favour. From before?"

Charlie's eyes widened. "Do you mean you want to give me a blow job?"

Nick turned scarlet but nodded. "Yes. But only if you're up for it -"

It was too late; he'd already said it and Charlie was already giggling. "Nick!"

"Well, are you?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Oh my god, Nick, yes."

"Okay, okay - no need to beg, jeez." Nick smirked and Charlie was suddenly very, entirely up for it.

And then Nick was getting carefully to his knees on the slippery shower floor and then he was peering up at him and Charlie thought maybe he'd ascended.

All at once, Charlie's hands clamped themselves into Nick's hair and Nick's hand was around him, already slick and warm from the shower. Charlie let out a gaspy groan of pleasure and the last of Nick's self-conscious doubts slid away with the water down the drain.

His hand was nothing compared to his mouth. And Charlie knew this was about to be brief - brief but incredible. His knees gave up first, but the close quarters of the shower walls saved him from collapsing entirely as his head was flooded with white.

With one hand bracing himself against the wall, the other still tangled in Nick's hair, he watched, in utter awe at how beautiful his boyfriend looked like this.

Nick released Charlie and wiped at his chin. His cheeks were deliciously flushed, his eyes lidded as he looked up through his eyelashes. "There really is a lot more than I thought there'd be."

Charlie breathed out a slightly delirious laugh and let his head fall back against the tiles. "That was amazing. Fuck, Nick. Thank you."

Charlie reached out a hand to help Nick to his feet. Nick laughed softly. "Trust you to thank me for a blow job."

"Oh, shush… it seemed only right."

"Well, you're very welcome. It was… it was alright, then?"

"Nick!" Charlie shoved playfully at his shoulders. "Of course it was alright! It was fucking fantastic, you doof!"

Nick chuckled and shrugged sheepishly, and goodness gracious, Charlie was so very fond of him. "Okay, okay. Yeah. It's just something I never thought I would - only…"

"It's okay, darling. I understand. And I mean, what a waste that would have been if you'd never found out you were bi. And lucky me, that I got to be the one to stop that travesty from happening."

Charlie reached up on his tiptoes to bring Nick into a kiss. Nick hesitated only for a second, but Charlie didn't seem to mind tasting himself on his lips.

"We should probably get out soon," said Nick. "The water's getting cold.

"Oh." Charlie blinked. "I hadn't really noticed."

After drying and dressing, they went back to Nick's room to find Nellie curled up on the bed, having finally been able to sneak back in. The boys joined her and snuggled down to play Mario Kart.

Charlie beat Nick a grand total of five out of six times. On the last time, Nick was just celebrating his triumph (at last!) when he realised Charlie had gone quiet beside him. He looked down in alarm only to find his boyfriend had actually just fallen asleep, game controller slack in his hand.

The race finished with no one controlling. Nick sat there for a long while, controller still in hand, watching Charlie sleep. His features were relaxed and beautiful, his mouth open slightly, emitting those little snores Nick loved so much. As his heart swelled with affection, he also felt a prickle at the corner of his eyes, a lump forming in his throat.

Nick sat there and let himself cry quietly. He wiped at his face over and over, but the tears kept coming. It wasn't fair. All they had wanted was a nice, normal summer. Apparently, the world didn't think they deserved that, but Nick thought maybe no one in the world deserved it more than Charlie Spring.

Soon, the tears came in anger. Hadn't he vowed to help Charlie in any way he could? If they really were being observed, he needed to be careful, but Charlie's comment about being bugged suddenly sprang into his head. Nick set the controller down and got up carefully from the bed so as to not disturb Charlie.

Starting with his bedside drawers, Nick began to search every inch of his bedroom. In every sock, every spine of every book, all the storage boxes he hadn't opened in years, through the junk at the bottom of his wardrobe, the pockets of all his clothes… He hardly knew what he was looking for, only knowing that if there was a chance he could create one undoubtedly safe space then he needed to do it.

The thought that if he did find something, then that meant Mr H had been in his room, too, in his house, made him shudder almost as much as the thought of him being in Charlie's room.

On his hands and knees, Nick took a deep breath and searched the final place he could think of. The space under his bed had become somewhat of a traumatic place for him over the last few months. And the dread rose in him now as he sifted through the boxes under there.

But he had to keep going… if there was something, anything then he needed to find it. He pushed the last box back into place and his hand brushed against something. He pulled it out and realised it was one of Charlie's shoes. He supposed it must have fallen under there in their haste to get undressed before.

Without really thinking, Nick inserted a hand into the shoe and felt carefully around inside, along the insole. A lump.

A tiny lump, but it was definitely uneven. He pulled at the insole and found it was already loose.

Charlie had had these shoes a while, right? This was perfectly normal.

But Nick pulled the insole up until it came out entirely - he hoped at this point that Charlie wouldn't be too annoyed at him for this, but honestly, he kind of needed some new shoes anyway, these were still semi-stained with his blood,

Nick ran a hand along the inside of the shoe, then squinted down into it as a tiny gleam of metal caught his eye.

Pressed into the inside of the shoe was a tiny, black rectangle. Nick drew it out easily and held it in his hand. He slid off his knees to sit fully on the floor, heart hammering at his discovery.

He hadn't even thought about what he would do if he actually found something.

But here it was. It fit in its entirety into the palm of his hand, and it was so thin that he had no doubt that Charlie would have been unable to feel it underfoot all this time.

Was this really all that had been enabling Charlie's life to be ruined over the past week?

Nick turned the device over in his hand carefully. He was suddenly overly aware of his own breathing, of how loud it was - because surely this thing had been recording them. The sound at least. And if it had a camera… then Nick was now looking right into it.

He closed his fist around it quickly, heart beating madly.

Keeping the device securely in his closed hand, he located Charlie's other shoe across the room. He found that this one's insole was still stuck down completely firmly, placed it aside again, sat back and breathed.

He looked toward the bed, where Charlie was still sleeping peacefully… Should he wake him? Should he tell him what he'd found? Or would that only cause him more fear?

Nick supposed he could just dispose of the device right now and then Mr H would be foiled. But then would Mr H come after Charlie? For messing with his plan?

Nick didn't have any more time to think about it before he heard the front door open downstairs and Charlie woke up with a little gasp. He reached across the bed, seeking Nick's warmth before he caught sight of him sitting on the rug, very pale and a bit sweaty. Charlie tilted his head in confusion.

"Nick? You okay?"

"Yeah." Nick looked up but didn't meet his eye. "Um… I should - err - go and see if that was David coming home."

"And you think I'm going to let you go into battle alone?" Charlie got up from the bed and strode to the door. "You'll need backup if it is David."

Nick forced a laugh. "Thanks, Char."

The second Charlie ducked out of the room, Nick turned to shove the small, metal device into his sock drawer, then followed after Charlie.

It was not David, it was Sarah.

"Oh, hi, Charlie," she said as she spotted him coming down the stairs. "You okay? You look a bit tired."

"Um, yeah. I just woke up from a nap."

Nick joined him at the bottom of the stairs a second later. "Mum, have you heard from David?"

Sarah set her shoes down on the rack and frowned. "No. Not since this morning. Why?"

Nick shrugged. "He was in my room, mum. He was going through my stuff. He stole our… condoms."

Charlie had been leaning idly against the bannister and quickly looked down, blushing furiously.

Sarah looked up in alarm for a second, then sighed. "Right. Where is he? I'll talk to him."

"He went out. He said he had a date with Portia."

"Hm? But his car's still here," said Sarah. "Do you know where they went?"

Nick and Charlie both shook their heads, worry creasing their brows. Sarah seemed surprised at their genuine concern. Usually they'd be celebrating David's absence - which they had, to be fair - but the possible danger could not be ignored for much longer.

"I'll give him a ring and check in," said Sarah. "Make sure he's where he said he would be."

Sarah took out her phone and went into the kitchen.

Nick turned to Charlie, but he had gone from his spot by the bannister. He'd sunk onto the bottom step of the stairs, head in his hands. Nick sat down beside him and placed a hand on the base of his spine.

"It's stupid to be this worried, right?" said Charlie. He dropped his voice to a whisper. "How would he even have found out David saw? It doesn't make any sense…"

"Char, I have to tell you something."

Nick's deadly serious tone made Charlie look up. "What is it?"

"I found something," Nick whispered to his hands. "While you were asleep just now. I remembered what you said about being bugged and I thought… I dunno, I just thought I'd better check. So, I searched my room."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Nick…"

"It makes a lot of sense really," Nick continued. "It was in your shoe, Charlie. Under the insole. I think it's some kind of recording device."

Nick looked up from his hands to find Charlie staring at him with both awe and horror.

"What the fuck?" he murmured. "It was in my shoe?"

And he started to look back and remember every time he'd messed up - and every time he'd been wearing his shoes. The white converse that had been stained pink by his own blood when Kane had shot him. It really was a genius plan on Mr H's part, he thought bitterly.

"Oh my god, I knew I should have thrown those shoes away. I should have done it ages ago," Charlie breathed. "What did you do with it? The device."

"It's in my drawer for now. It's probably not safe there, though, now that I think of it."

"Do you think there's more?" Charlie said, realising. "Like, do you think we still need to be quiet?"

Nick hadn't thought of that. "Fuck," he groaned. "I doubt there's only one. Jesus, I'm an idiot…"

His hands reached to pull at his hair like he always did whenever he was stressed, but Charlie grabbed them gently to stop him.

"No, Nick, you're not. Look at me." Nick did as he was told. Charlie hated how disappointed with himself he looked. He stroked his cheek tenderly and smiled. "You're so amazing. It doesn't seem like enough just to say 'thank you' but thank you, Nick. Thank you so much!"

And Charlie kissed him full on the mouth, hard and firm, trying to pour it full of both gratitude and reassurance. Nick seemed surprised at the intensity of the kiss, but he soon figured out what was happening and responded in kind.

"It keeps going to voicemail but that's not that unusual for David… and if he's on a date, well - oh!"

Nick and Charlie scrambled up from their stairway kiss to stand awkwardly before Nick's mother. Sarah chuckled to herself at their flushed faces and messed hair.

"Sorry, boys." She shook her head, amused. "Can't leave you alone for five seconds, can I?"

"Mum…"

Sarah frowned down at the phone in her hand again. "It is very odd that David didn't take his car with him. Where could he have walked to from here?"

Charlie shrugged. "You can walk into town from here. There are plenty of date spots in town."

"But this is David we're talking about, Char. He doesn't go anywhere without his car."

Nick realised that might not have helped Charlie's worry spiral but before he could amend his statement, a knock on the door made all three of them jump. Sarah went to answer it.

On the doorstep stood Portia.

She was dressed up nicely in a dark green dress, her long hair tied up in a messy up-do. Both Nick and Charlie realised that she did actually look nice for a change, despite the mascara smudged around her eyes.

"Is David here?"

"No, dear," said Sarah. "We were just discussing that, actually."

"Well, if you see him, tell him I hate him," Portia spat, eyes shining. "He stood me up, that dick! Sorry, Mrs Nelson…"

"It's alright, dear." And Sarah ushered Portia into the hall and shut the door.

Nick and Charlie exchanged a private look as they followed along into the living room. They both knew David was in fact a dick but… hadn't he been bragging about his 'hot date' before he'd left?

As Sarah comforted Portia, Charlie sat down with Nick in the armchair and knew, almost for certain, that David was gone - taken just like Tony and Helen and Ben and Sahar. And once again, even though Nick knew this time, there was still nothing either of them could do about it.

Again, Charlie would have to wait, but at least this time, he was not alone.