Hello people! I sincerely apologize for my unforgivable slowness. I know that there are no excuses for the delay in my writing, but as I am still quite young, I will obviously try to supply one anyway... I did struggle a little to finish the following chapter and due to some recent social problems, I had no glasses. However, I recently acquired some contact lenses and as a result, my abysmal vision is completely restored! Hooray!

I may slow down a bit with my updates because I am beginning to feel stressed over my writing, which is something that I choose to do for fun. But be rest assured that I WILL COMPLETE THIS STORY! I may be lazy but I am determined; I will still try to meet my weekly chapter update goal and I promise to write as long as I am able to without completely exhausting myself. Once again,

I WILL COMPLETE THIS STORY!

On with the story!

Alice's shoulders began to shake as her mate remained inconsolable. I knew that this would be a cathartic experience for Jasper. I hoped that this would be a turning point for us and that we could get to the bottom of his problems at the school once and for all.

I hugged both my children more tightly and whispered soothing words to them. I promised myself that I would not stop until Jasper was whole again and I knew that my darling Esme and my other wonderful children would be by my side in this.

I just prayed to God that Jasper knew that.

JPOV

I continued to let my jailed emotions flood out over Carlisle and Alice. I could not recall a single moment in my vampire life where I had been this emotionally spent. I was tired of hiding all the time. I was tired of fighting to remain stoic in front of those I had come to accept as my family. They deserved better than that. They deserved better than me, the battle-torn, over-cautious, non-trusting failure.

I could feel Carlisle's soothing arms as they tightened their hold around my trembling body. At any other moment in time, I would have been painfully embarrassed to have been involved in so much physical contact with one of my superiors- especially Carlisle, but now... well now I welcomed it.

I felt all the frustration I had stubbornly bit back over my helplessness with that damned bully come crashing through my shaking form and I couldn't help the soft groan that escaped my lips. The tremors that rocked my abused body heightened, leaving me practically vibrating in Carlisle's lap. My eyes rolled back into my head some as I tried- and failed- to achieve some respectable control over myself.

I truly was pathetic... Gavin was right.

I began to suck in my breaths with unnecessary speed, desperately trying to calm myself down. Unfortunately, my father's close proximity meant that I could feel his unnerved and slightly panicked emotions as easily as though he were whipping me with them. My wife's emotions were similar, far too worried and sad for me to grasp onto them.

There was nothing I could do to stop myself getting dragged further and further into my own hell; I had no reprieve. It was as though my own demons were escaping from the dark, suppressed corners of my mental depth and tormenting me with my own harsh memories of worthlessness.

I was forced to relive my many depressing experiences of failure, I could once again feel all the disappointment coming from those who relied on me to be a man; I could feel Maria's disgust when I failed to remain stoic as she forcible removed my appendages.

I could hear my human father snarling at me in outrage as I had failed to kill the buffalo when I was a boy, he was telling me how useless I was, drilling into me that in order to be a man, I had to be a hunter or a warrior.

The endless stream of memories continued to cascade down upon me and I was no longer aware of my papa's vice-like grip around my body. I was no longer aware of my wife's soothing hand as she rubbed my bicep, fruitlessly attempting to console me. I was well and truly trapped. I was victim to my own subconscious and that thought absolutely terrified me. The suffocating darkness was pressing in on me, ensnaring my senses with it's foul odor.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to vomit, I wanted to scream like a human child. I wanted some sign that I was still alive, that my body was still functioning. My body refused to co-operate with my mind's instructions, it was like someone had weighed me down and lobed me in a freezing cold lake. I was doomed.

I have no idea how long I remained like that. Mere seconds could have had the same equivalence as decades. The darkness would never leave me... it was a big a part of me as I was of it. My head was filled with an unfamiliar fog and an uncomfortable weight was pressing down on my stomach.

After a seemingly endless amount of time, my numb ears registered a soft buzzing sound that seemed about as loud as a shriek after that dreaded silence. The soft noise filled me with hope. It showed me that I could still choose to get up and move on. It showed me that I could still be Jasper Cullen. It assured me that the murderer Jasper Whitlock was long dead and forgotten and that even in a state of depression, I would never be alone. There was only one creature that had ever succeeded in making me believe that...

Even in my own broken state, my little Alice would always be the only untainted thought in my mind. Amid the darkness, to think of her was to think of heaven. Her soft skin, her big beautiful eyes, the way she smiled so delicately when she saw me... Memories of my most precious moments with Alice came rushing to the forefront of my mind.

I mentally grasped onto those beloved moments as the soft buzzing was jerked into a sharper focus, like a radio being tuned. My ears twitched and my head throbbed as the sudden clarity brought all sorts of woodland noises rushing into my eardrums. Among these cluttered sounds I was able to distinguish my little buzzing. It had evolved into a sweet, delicious little hum and It was easy to relax as the calming melody washed over me.

The disgusting stench of the darkness that blinded my senses lessened slightly and I was able to make out the blurred outlines of my papa as he continued to cradle me, and my absolutely wonderful little wife, Alice. I stared at her silhouette as she knelt down beside me, safe under Carlisle's other arm. With a rush of realization, I came to the conclusion that the gentle melody that so entranced me, was actually the gentle singing of my mate. I loved her so much. Carlisle's arm's were still around me as Alice continued to sing to me.

It looks like I found my reprieve. Alice's voice was such a delicate sound and I grasped onto it like a life line. I grabbed two handfuls of what I assumed to be my papa's shirt and buried my face into his broad shoulder, happily losing myself in the soft hum of my mate's soprano.

Her voice was like cold water being sprinkled onto a roaring fire; gentle, careful and refreshing as hell. I didn't want her to stop singing, I needed her to keep going. I relaxed even further into my papa's embrace, relishing in his comfort. My trembling stilled slightly and I smiled a little into Carlisle's shoulder. The darkness had all but vanished and I had full control of my body and my mind... no matter how sluggish the felt. I was me again.

I sensed my little mate move as she shifted her position on my papa's other side and I felt the sudden weight of her as she abruptly hugged my side. I opened my eyes a fraction in indignation to the silence that followed her stunning melody and turned away from the fabric of Carlisle's shirt, immediately seeking my mate's delicate frame. I was content to just sit there and look at her, happy to swap the sound of her voice for a view of her body. A few minutes passed before Alice begrudgingly released her fierce hold on my body. I watched her progress as she stood up and disentangled herself from my papa's embrace.

The minute she left my side, my body felt cold again. I could feel a small sample of the past darkness threaten to expand and I internally shuddered before I squashed it down. Never again.

I followed her movements and caught her eye as she backed away slightly. My insides melted as she gave me a loving little smile and I suddenly wanted to be free of Carlisle's grasp. I wanted to stay with her. She was my reprieve, she saved me from myself. My mind was a black pit and she was the fiery lantern, a beacon of hope in an otherwise pool of despair. I needed to be with her. Why couldn't she see that? I must get to her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice shake her head a little before giving me a tired, knowing smile. What the hell did that mean?

I felt severely cheated as Alice spun around and darted out of the clearing, practically dancing through the tree line with her unintentional gracefulness. Why was she leaving me? I needed her, didn't she know that? I thought she needed me just as much as I needed her. I needed her.

Had I embarrassed myself so much that she could no longer love me? Was she going to leave me? My breathing pace jet again picked up and I barely heard Carlisle's soothing hushing sounds. I couldn't survive if Alice left me. There could not be a Jasper without an Alice. I needed to know the answers to my questions, my ignorance was going to kill me. I had to find Alice. I had no time for Carlisle's babying, not anymore.

I began to pull away from Carlisle, trying desperately to stop my pathetic trembling and pitiful sniveling, but to no avail. I felt Carlisle's arms tighten around me along with his whispered 'Steady now Jazz.' I ignored him and continued to pull away from his relentless arms. To my extreme frustration I found that every time I put a little space between our entwined bodies, Carlisle would swiftly pull me back to his chest. After several fruitless attempts of escape, I couldn't help the small snarl that spewed from my mouth. Was Carlisle insane? I had to get to Alice! I must know if she could still loved a man with no honor.

I ceased my bucking and tasted his emotional aura. I was furious to find only determination and love. Those two didn't mix. If he really loved me, he'd let to go to my wife. I needed her. Why could no one see that? Did they want me to write it down, spell it out for them?

My previous emotional turmoil was temporarily buried under my sudden staggering rage that I was almost positive Carlisle could feel. 'Let me go!' I shrieked at Carlisle. I growled in frustration as the only response I got was to be reeled in even tighter by Carlisle. I began to buck my body with more fervor, relentlessly smashing my head against my captor's chest.

I did not recognize Carlisle as the loving father I had become so accustomed to. I did not even recognize Carlisle as a coven leader, by default, my superior in every way. No, I did not recognize Carlisle Cullen, because in my confused and rage driven mind, he was the one causing me all this pain. He was the one who had caused my mate to leave and he was the one whom I had to destroy.

Carlisle did not release his vice grip on me. I wanted him off. I wanted him to leave me alone. I was terrified, I was confused, I was desperate... and I was absolutely fucking furious.

CPOV

I closed my eyes as I fought to keep a hold on my flailing son. I was absolutely baffled by his abrupt mood swings, one moment he was lying quite content in my arms, the next he is practically spitting with rage and ramming his golden head into my chest! A rapid section of my mind was ticking off possibilities for Jasper's strange behavior whilst the other part was desperately trying to cease the boy's fruitless struggles.

What had happened? I couldn't believe that little Alice's departure had brought out such a dramatic reaction in the boy, mate or not. I was absolutely positive that Jasper's mood swings were a side-effect of his sudden break down. My soldier boy's emotional being was in severe distress and as such, his body was acting in a completely understandably defensive attack. Jasper was confused, to put it simply. He was confused and scared and it was all I could do to keep a hold of him before he broke free and did something he would regret.

I gritted my teeth in frustration as my golden haired son continued to repeatedly smash his wheaten head against my chest. The dull pain it caused was little distraction, but even so, I was finding it much harder to keep my grip on the soldier in my arms; he was constantly hissing, snarling, kicking, flailing and punching in every direction, screaming and hollering like a mad man. Jasper was having a fit.

A particularly brutal blow to my chest left me wheezing slightly as my vampire body tried to find the appropriate response to accommodate the sudden pain. I felt my own self preservation instincts kicking in and fiercely reminded myself that Jasper was my son, not a threat... he would never intentionally hurt me.

'Jasper... son, stop it!' I grunted in a strained voice, struggling to keep my calm under his constant onslaught. The only response I got was a harsh snarl before Jasper suddenly bent his long, skinny legs and with all of his strength, kicked up from the ground, causing us both to fly through the air.

We landed with a dull 'thud' in one of the nearby river beds, the roaring of the water like a siren in my ears. My son gave a demented howl before screaming at me: 'Get the fuck off me!' I ignored him yet again and buried my face in his back, keeping my arms locked like steel ropes around his torso. I prayed to God that Jasper would come to his senses. I did not know what I could do to assist him; I just prayed that he would be strong enough to get through this. Come on Jazzy...

A/n

Okay, I know this is short. It was originally eleven thousand words, but then I decided that the ending of this chapter was not very good so I decided to rewrite it. This is only the beginning of the original chapter I had written and I decided to post it because I've been getting some impatient emails from numerous people. I'm trying guys! The final, much longer, half of this chapter should be posted in no time at all. I regularly update my profile with the story's progress so please have a look. Thanks for reading and once again, I apologize for how long I have taken in writing it and I apologize for cutting it down. THE FINAL PART WILL BE UP SOON!