AN: I don't think this chapter is as good as it could have been and I apologize. I really struggled with this one. I had a direction I wanted this chapter to go but I just couldn't get it to come across on paper like I had hoped it would. So I started from scratch. I hope you guys are satisfied with it. Thanks again for reading and all of your wonderful reviews!

Chapter 19

Alex held Piper all through the night, sleeping in bouts. Every time Piper moved or made a noise, Alex was instantly awake. She tried to get out of bed once, thinking she was bothering her, but Piper latched onto her shirt and leaned her head in closer to her, so she stayed where she was.

Shortly after dawn, Piper woke up. Alex kissed her on the head and asked how she was feeling.

"Like I've been hit by a fucking truck. How's Liam? Have you been up to see him yet? When can I go?" Piper replied, looking up at Alex.

Alex untangled herself from Piper and slid back to the chair. Taking Piper's hand and inhaling deeply, she began to tell Piper all that happened since the shower.

"Pipes…you know they had to rush you into surgery because your placenta detached. Liam was delivered safely and has been doing well since then. But you were hemorrhaging. They couldn't get it to stop and they gave you two bags of blood while you were in surgery. The doctor tried everything he could and still couldn't stop it. In order to save you…" Alex swallowed and took another deep breath. "In order to save you, he had to remove your uterus. I'm so sorry Pipes…"

Piper stared at Alex in disbelief. Slowly, she turned her head away from her. Gripping the bed sheets, she felt hot tears roll down her face. She felt Alex's hand in her hair. She felt her heart break. She wanted another baby; Alex's baby. Now that would never happen. She started to blame herself. She should have said something when she first started hurting. She should have done a lot of things differently. Now there was nothing she could do.

Alex watched as she broke Piper's heart. She reached out to stroke her head and felt shudders begin to run through her. Sucking in her lips to fight her own emotions, she carefully climbed back into bed with Piper and took her into her arms. Piper tensed. Alex pulled her closer and said "Don't do this Piper. Let me hold you; let me in. I know I can't possibly imagine what you're feeling but I'm here. Unload it on me babe. Let me help you carry it. I can tell you what I do know; I do know that because of you, we have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I know that I love you more than I ever have and I couldn't be more proud to be your wife right now. I know that whatever you need, I'll be here to help you. I know that Liam needs you. And so do I Piper."

Piper heard Alex's words and slowly relaxed into her. Turning her head into Alex's chest, huge sobs wracked her body. Bringing her arm up, she wrapped it around Alex's neck and squeezed. Unable to get anything more than "Alex" out, Piper just cried. Alex held her through the storm of her emotions, never once letting go. She didn't tell her it would be ok because she knew "ok" was a relative term that no longer applied to Piper.

Calming some, Piper choked out "I want to see Liam. Please Alex, let me see him."

"You have to wait just a little longer Pipes. Until the doctor says it's ok for you to get out of bed. You just had a major…"

"Take me to see my son Alex! Now! Fuck the doctor! I want to hold my son! I need to!" Piper yelled.

Smirking slightly, Alex said "There's that Piper Chapman temper. Ok Kid, let's get you out of bed."

"I do not have a temper. Yet. You don't get me out of this bed and to my son and I will show all of you a temper." Piper said

Easing out of bed, Alex helped Piper to sit up. It was a slow process. Piper was incredibly sore and stiff from being in the same position for hours on end. Slowly getting to her feet, she held onto Alex to steady herself. Taking one step, she began to sway and she felt her knees get weak. Alex grabbed her under the arms. "Okay Kid, this isn't going to work. You aren't strong enough to walk across the room, much less all the way to the NICU. Let me get a nurse and a wheel chair."

Piper nodded and let Alex ease her back into bed. Laying back, she closed her eyes briefly and took deep, steadying breaths. Her boobs ached; her stomach was on fire; her arms trembled with need to hold Liam. Hearing the door open, she saw a nurse scramble in.

"Mrs. Chapman-Vause, you really need to wait for the doctor to come around and check you. Just lie back and rest and I'll get you something for your discomfort." The nurse said nervously

"No. I am going to see my son. Right now. If you won't bring me a wheel chair, I'll just have my wife carry me or I'll crawl. Either way, I am leaving this room and I'm going to my son. He needs me." Piper said

"Very well, but I advise against it." The nurse replied. Turning on her heel, she left the room, returning a few minutes later with a wheel chair. Alex helped Piper into it and told the nurse she would take her from there.

Alex wheeled Piper out into the hallway towards the elevators. She was telling Piper what to expect when she got into the NICU. Piper held up her hand to Alex and said "Just stop Al. Take me to Liam and I'll deal with everything when I get there."

Shrugging off the sting, Alex took her the rest of the way to NICU in silence. Arriving there, she washed her hands and put on a gown, then helped Piper do the same. Slowly, she navigated her way through the dimly lit room until she was at Liam's bassinet. Helping Piper to stand, Alex put her arm around Piper's waist as Piper got her first look at her baby boy.

Piper's breath caught in her throat. He was even more beautiful lying in front of her than he was in the picture Alex showed her. Tentatively reaching out, she ran her fingers down his back. She cupped his head and slowly leaned down to kiss him. Lingering a moment, Piper closed her eyes and said a brief thank you to whomever was out there and allowed her son to be here, healthy and safe.

Straightening up, she asked Alex if she could hold him. Alex told her of course and told her to sit back down. Untying Piper's gown in the back and pulling it down to just above her breasts, she reached in for Liam and gently laid him in Piper's arms. "Hold him against your skin, they said it helps him" Alex told her. Piper pulled him up and snuggled him in. Smiling down at him, she said "Hey baby boy. Mommy's here now. I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner. I needed to sleep. You decided to act just like your Mama and had to have a huge entrance into the world. You wore me out. But I'm here now and I'm going to be with you as much as I possibly can. I love you baby boy. Oh I love you so, so much Liam. You are the best thing your Mama and I have ever done." Piper continued to softly talk to him until he started making whimpering noises and root around on her chest.

Smiling, Piper said "Looks like someone's hungry"

Frowning, Alex said "How did you know that? Last night when he was making those noises he just pissed himself and needed a diaper change."

"Language Alex. And I can feel it. He's hungry." Piper replied simply

"Well the nurse last night said they were bottle feeding him until you felt up to trying to breast feed. She also said not to be discouraged if he wouldn't take the breast." Alex warned her.

Piper just looked up at her. "Can you go get a nurse please Al? I want to try. And I think I'm going to need something to lay across my stomach, it's already hurting just holding him like this."

"Yes! Of course, why didn't I…I'll be right back." Taking off, Alex went in search of a nurse.

"You're Mama's a nervous wreck Liam. How did she do last night?" Piper talked softly to him until Alex came back with a nurse.

"Hey there, sweetheart. How are you this morning? You need something?" the nurse asked. She was an older lady with kind brown eyes and she instantly made Piper feel safe with Liam.

"Yes. I want to try to breast feed him. I understand that he may not like it? But I still want to try." Piper said.

"Ok Sugar Bear, you just do this…." And the nurse continued to coax Piper and show her what she needed to do. She explained patiently and stayed with her until Liam finally latched on and began to suckle. In that moment, with her son at her breast and Alex kneeling by her side, despite all that had happened in the last 18 hours, Piper's whole world was complete. She knew now that this was her whole reason in life. Standing by Alex while they loved, protected and raised Liam was her reason for everything.

Alex watched as Liam latched onto Piper's nipple and a warm feeling washed over her. Piper was always beautiful to her, but never more so in this moment. Alex tumbled into love with both of them all over again. Reaching over, she gently kissed Liam on the head, then leaned up and kissed Piper on the temple. "Thank you" she whispered to her. Piper leaned into Alex's lips and sighed contently. "I heart you" Piper whispered back.

They both knew it was going to be a long road. Alex had a lot to learn and Piper had a lot to accept, but together, they would make it.