Chapter 22

The first night with Liam was relatively easy. He woke every hour and a half or so to eat but quickly settled back into sleep. Alex thought it would be a breeze as long as he did this every night. She had no illusions though, she had heard horror stories from some of the other parents in the NICU. One mom told her about her first baby crying for 7 hours straight for no apparent reason then just stopping like nothing had ever happened. Alex shuddered, thinking about that. She would seriously have a panic attack if Liam did that. She mentioned it to Piper and Piper laughed at her. "Alex, there will be days and nights like that and probably worse. It happens. Don't dream up those days before they happen."

"Pipes, do you want to let everyone come see him now since he's in the room with us? I mean, I feel bad making your dad wait to meet his first grandchild." Alex asked as she changed Liam's diaper.

"Hmmm...I know Daddy really wants to meet him. I think I still want to wait though. He's so little. Besides, I really think you and I need to bond with him more before we bring a bunch of other people around to meet him. He's already four days old and we've only been able to spend one full night with him. Can we wait, do you care?" Piper replied.

"No, that's fine with me. But let's do this. Our first night home, let's not let anyone come over and invite your dad over for dinner. I can cook or we can order out, which ever. That way your dad can get some one on one time with him." Alex told her.

"I really like that idea. You're awesome, Vause." Stopping to look at Alex, Piper continued. "Sometimes I forget how awesome you are. I'm sorry. I know I take you for granted sometimes and I know I've done it a lot lately. When things settle down some, I promise to make it up to you."

To lighten the mood a little, Alex cocked her eyebrow and took her glasses off, placing them on top of her head. She gave Piper the smirk she knew got to her every time, "I don't think 'settle down' is in our vocabulary anymore Chapman. Don't worry though, I won't forget you owe me and I WILL cash in."

Piper felt her whole body heat up. God, she just had a baby and had a major surgery. How could she react to Alex this way? It was too soon…wasn't it? Well with Alex, nothing had ever been practical or in a timely manner. This was just another one of those things, she supposed.

Laying Liam down at the end of the bed, she motioned for Piper to scoot towards him. She climbed in the bed behind her and pulled Piper back to her. Bringing her legs up to the outside of Piper's, she held her close as they sat looking at their son. His looks had changed from the first night in NICU. He still had Piper's nose and chin, but his cheeks were filling out and becoming chubby. His forehead was constantly wrinkled, like he was always deep in thought. His upper lip jutted out just slightly farther than his lower lip, causing him to naturally suck on his lower lip while he slept. His hair didn't seem as dark anymore and he was already getting a bald spot on the back of his head. His eyes were dark blue and he had long, dark lashes. Piper often found herself thinking girls would kill for those lashes. He was long and skinny and had big feet. Alex laughed at his feet, saying she may not have had anything to do with his DNA but he certainly seemed to be taking after in the foot department.

Reaching for him, Piper cradled him in one arm and took Alex's arms and wrapped them around them both with the other. Snuggling into Alex, she stared down at her son. Alex looked over her shoulder. What a sight. Alex could honestly say this- the swell of Piper's breast slightly hiding the right side of Liam's face, the left side of his face bathed in light, Piper's thighs pressed into hers- was the most beautiful sight she had seen in the world. Nothing had ever felt better than this moment in time.

"Alex…you said yesterday that here, in your arms, I was safe. I didn't have to pretend." Piper started.

"Mhmm" Alex agreed.

"There are so many things I'm feeling. I'm not okay, really. I'm trying to be, but I'm having a hard time. I want to let you in but I'm scared. I'm asking you for a little more time. I won't shut you out forever. I just need more time to process all that's happened. Ok?" Piper told her.

"I know, Kid. I thought I was going to have to push you into a corner like I did in the kitchen at Litchfield. As long as you keep giving me something here and there, I'll wait as long as I need to. All I ask in return is you don't shut me out completely. I'm in this too."

They sat quietly for a while longer. Liam started to squirm and root around. Piper started to move away so she could feed him but Alex held her in place. "Don't go. I miss feeding him. This way it will almost be like I'm getting to feed him too."

Piper smiled slightly and nodded. Opening her gown, she freed her breast and guided Liam to it. He latched on hungrily. "Mmm, another way he is just like his Mama. He sho does love yo titties" Alex teased.

"Alex, you are too much! Honestly." Piper couldn't help but agree though. He had done very well being switched back and forth between breast and bottle feeding but he liked being attached to her breast most of all. Piper loved this time with him. She felt so connected to him. She wished Alex could feel this but she knew that Alex and Liam had their own bonding thing they did. Alex wouldn't tell her where she took him last night or what they did, just that she needed a little alone time with Liam, that they needed to iron some things out.

When Liam was finished, Piper pulled her gown back together and lay Liam on her legs. Alex pushed her hair off her neck and kissed her there. "You are gorgeous with him. You just…glow." Kissing her again behind the ear, she continued "I got you something. I think they call it a Push Present. I was going to wait until we got home to give it to you, and I still have to physically, but I want to tell you about it now." Alex said against the crook of Piper's neck.

Turning in Alex's arms, Piper looked at her excitedly. "Al, you didn't have to get me anything! What is it though?"

Laughing, Alex kissed her quickly on the corner of her mouth. "I love how excited you get over gifts. Remember in my vows, I made all those promises to you?"

"Yes and you've held up your end of the bargain rather well I think. Which one in particular are you referring to?" Piper asked, thinking back.

"The last one…"

"Alex! You can't give me that! Liam isn't even a week old yet, you're still on probation, I haven't been cleared to travel by the doct…"

"Shhh, listen" Alex said, cutting her off. "I booked it for next August. Liam will be nearly 9 months old by then. He can stay with Polly. Or if we don't want to leave him yet, we will take him with us. I'm officially off probation in February. We never really got to take a honeymoon because of my probation. Not the one you deserved anyway. I swore to give you the beaches of Cambodia someday and I want to. Come on Pipes, free fall with me for a bit. No strangers in drag if Liam is with us. And if he's not, well…"

"Yes! Let's do it! Oh Alex, I can't believe you! You are so good to me. I love you so much. Let's start planning right now. Do you have your phone? The last time we were there I barely saw the outside of our villa. You kept me occupied when you weren't working…and when you were I was recovering if I remember correctly."

Handing Piper her phone and laughing Alex said "What? I kept you occupied? I don't know what you're talking about. Some hot blonde had her face between my legs the whole time I was there. I'm not sure where you were."

Swatting Alex on the leg, Piper started typing quickly on Alex's phone. "HA! I'll show you hot blonde between your legs. You just wait."

"Mmmm…I like the sound of that. Promises, promises."