Sorry for the wait (it's my MO.) I was working on a DnD campaign and then I rediscovered the Sims! I made Hiccup and Astrid, obviously.

Gratuitous kissing in this chapter! I bumped up the rating on the fic.

Hiccup walked in his front door. Or, what would be his front door for a few months. He only hoped that he'd have help from the rest of the tribe next time around. He was still pretty exhausted from building this house.

"Hi Astrid," he smiled.

"Hi Hiccup," she smiled back.

"Hi Hiccup," her parents parroted, in a sickly sweet tone.

"I did not say it like that!" She protested.

"Oh you have nothing to be ashamed of, lass! He's your husband! Be soft for once!"

She rolled her eyes. "Where was this teasing and giddiness when I was engaged to Snotlout?"

Phlegma giggled. "Snotlout wasn't walking around with a hickey on his neck last winter."

Hiccup clapped a hand to his neck. "Again with the hickey?"

"Aye, a badge of honor." Stoick said, lifting Hiccup's trunk onto his shoulder. Hiccup had insisted on helping Stoick carry it here, but it looked like his help had been more of a hindrance. "A mark of a fight not won with your hands, but your wits."

"Is there ever an analogy from you that doesn't have to do with battle?" Hiccup chuckled.

"Not any good ones," Stoick laughed as he took the trunk up to the loft.

"You know," said Phlegma. "It's a very lovely house, Hiccup. But I can't help but notice…the lack of furniture."

In fact, there was a hearth, and a countertop creating a kitchen area, but not much else to see in the main room. A bathing area was under the loft, but it too was sparse in furnishings.

"Yes, well, Gobber assured me tables and chairs and such would be built before the wedding…but I threw his time table off by about a month." Hiccup grimaced.

"Well, you're always welcome to eat with us, or up in the Great Hall." Phlegma offered. "Although…maybe appearing in public could be a bit…"

"Dangerous?" Hiccup suggested.

"Contentious." Said Stoick as he returned. "Some people were very excited about Astrid's marriage to Snotlout. Others were just excited about the party."

"Well, we're still going to have a proper wedding in the future. Right dad?" Hiccup asked.

"Aye lad. It's important for you to have a traditional ceremony. One that would invite our allies. It would be the biggest event of the year."

"Oh boy, more anxiety," Hiccup chuckled breathlessly.

"Well, we'd like to give you two your privacy, but…do you even have a bed to sleep in?" Axel wondered.

"Yep! I actually had to build it before the house was finished." Hiccup smirked. "Snotlout wanted a nice big bed so that Astrid wouldn't kick him while sleeping."

"I don't kick!"

Phlegma smiled. "Oh darling…yes you do."

"I'll just say goodbye to my shins now." Hiccup cringed.

"How big of a bed are we talking?" Axel asked.

"It's a little ridiculous, if I'm being honest." Hiccup beckoned them to follow him upstairs to the loft.

"HICCUP!" Astrid shouted as soon as she saw it.

Axel and Phlegma started laughing again.

"You know," said Stoick. "I'd ask to trade, but I don't know how you'd get this out of the house."

"You can't. You'd have to take it apart, or take out the wall."

"Hiccup! There's no room for anything else in this room!" Astrid walked around the perimeter of the frame. She had about two feet of space on all sides. "Where do we store our clothes? Or anything else?!"

Hiccup smirked then, feeling fairly proud of himself, and held up a finger. "Observe." He pulled a handle on the side of the frame, and the whole bed flipped up against the wall. Underneath, there were several drawers along the edges, and trunks in the middle. "Ta-da!"

"Oooh!" Axel and Phlegma clapped.

Astrid nodded slowly. "Alright, that's pretty cool."

Hiccup beamed at the praise and lowered the bed back down.

"I think all that's left is to let you both get settled in," said Stoick. "So we'll get out of your hair."

By the giggling that Phlegma and Axel shared, you'd think that they were the newly wed couple.

"Yes yes, two teenagers alone on their wedding night, it's very funny." Astrid started to shove her parents back downstairs.

"Now, there's no rush in the morning. Come over whenever you're hungry, and I'll make you some food!" Phlegma chirped as she was being actively herded out the door.

"Bye mom! Bye dad! Thanks for your love and support! Now leave us alone!"

"Bye honey!" They both sang.

"I'm not going to have to push you out the door too, right?" Hiccup looked up at his dad.

"You couldn't if you tried." Stoick rubbed his son's head, and gave Astrid a kiss on the cheek. "Have fun!"

After Hiccup closed and locked the door behind him, he let out a big sigh. "Now what?"

"I think this is the part where we become hopelessly entangled in limbs and tongues and you whisk me away to the bedroom," said Astrid, with a smirk.

"Is that—you want—can I?" Hiccup faced her, trembling, and puckered his lips like a fish.

She pinched his nose. "I thought you knew how to kiss?"

"I did–I do! I-I-I-I just…haven't practiced in a while…" He said sheepishly, wringing his hands together.

"Well, we have plenty of time to practice. You remember that, right?" she chuckled.

Hiccup gulped and tried to laugh too, though it sounded weak.

She came close, resting her hands on his chest, starting to lean in. But she stopped, concerned. "Hiccup, you're trembling."

"I-I-I'm just cold is all."

"Okay," she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

He let out a deep breath before hugging her back. His hold was strong, and he rested his face against her neck. She smelled nice. Not a flowery girly smell, but something warm and slightly spicy.

He probably smelled like fish.

"You're not actually cold, are you?" Astrid asked as she pet his hair.

He swallowed, but didn't answer.

"You can tell me anything. I won't judge."

"I know. I just…don't know how to say it."

She gave him a tight squeeze and pulled away. "That's fine. Let's just relax–"

"Oh, that's part of the problem, I can't." He shrugged his shoulders, to appear more casual than he was.

"Why not?"

"Oh, no reason, really. I only just got married today, which wasn't expected. And since the beginning of the year, even with the eels helping with the raids, the village is back to disliking me. And taking someone's bride is a huge no-no so I'm kind of worried that will compound into disaster."

"Hiccup–"

"And my uncle wants me to fight my cousin, which I absolutely can't do."

"Yeah, but that's–"

"Not for two weeks, I know, but I can't help worrying about it. And now, I'm here with you, alone, and I was excited about it earlier, but now I'm realizing what that means and what the expectations are and I don't know how to…you know. And I want to be the best for you, but I know I'll mess up. Like…it'll just hurt for you, and then I'll finish and pass out and I don't want that!"

"Whoa, Hiccup, slow down," Astrid hushed, petting the hair on the back of his neck. "Look. I have no experience with sex either."

"You can at least say the word."

She chuckled. "Fair. But we don't have to do that tonight. We can wait."

"But you said we were going to 'have fun'."

"Sure! Doesn't have to be sex though, right? If it gives you performance anxiety, then let's wait on it."

"Are you sure? To not consummate the marriage—we're already in hot water!"

"When have we ever done anything the correct way? We have a pair of dragons out in the cove, for Frigga's sake! Besides, how are they going to know? I'm not going to say anything. So you don't have to say anything."

"I…guess…"

"Did you bring sleep clothes?"

Hiccup was startled by the sudden topic change. "Uh, yes. I did." He pointed upstairs.

"I'm going to get changed too. If the only place to sit in his house is the bed, then we might as well get comfortable."

"Y-yeah. I'll wait for you upstairs…" he said in a daze. He climbed the stairs, and found where his father had wedged his trunk. His bed clothes consisted of a pair of black linen pants, and an old white tunic from his father (several years old, and hemmed). Hiccup changed into the pants, but hesitated putting the tunic on. Maybe it would be alright to go without? Afterall, Astrid had seen him shirtless before. Would it make her uncomfortable though? Last time, it had been because their clothes were soaked. Now, there was no reason he shouldn't wear a shirt.

"Huh. Who knew you were hiding some nice back muscles?"

Hiccup flinched and drew his shoulders up to his ears. "Oh! You got dressed fast!" He turned around and froze.

Astrid was just wearing a light blue tunic. It reached down to her fingertips. It was only a little loose, still accenting her curves. He could even see the faint view of her nipples peeking through the shirt, though he was certain she didn't think he could. Astrid worked on unraveling her hair, making this mind blowing experience so much more amazing.

"Wow…" he squeaked.

"What?"

"You're…so beautiful…"

She scoffed, but blushed as she walked around the bed to sit beside him. He realized she was undoing her hair with one hand, while she held her brush in the other.

"Can I brush your hair?" He blurted.

"Uh…if you want to?"

Reverently, he took the brush and ran it through her golden locks. He hit a snag, and moved to start from the top.

"The whole point in brushing my hair is to undo the snags."

"But I don't want to hurt you…"

"Here, give me the brush."

Hiccup frowned as he handed it over. He hadn't even started!

Astrid quickly brushed through her hair, untangling the knots. Then she gave it back. "Here you go. Now you can do it."

He brightened and got to work. He would hit a snag, but carefully untangled it with his fingers instead of tearing through it with the brush.

"What made you want to brush my hair?"

"Well…it's something husbands get to do, right? Wash and brush their wife's hair? I always liked your hair too. It's really…" he struggled to find a word that wasn't 'beautiful' again. "I like the color."

"Well, it feels nice. So thanks."

A few more runs of the brush, and Hiccup finally relinquished his role. To his dismay, Astrid then gathered up her hair and twisted it into a bun on top of her head.

"You sleep with your hair up?"

"Keeps the tangles out."

"Ah." Now that she was here, and they were in this state of vulnerability, he didn't know what to say. This wasn't like the hayloft, where they had been relaxed and secret and had all the time in the world. There was weight now, and expectations. People knew where they were and what they should be doing.

Astrid kept taking glances at him, careful not to outright stare, but she seemed to notice something that tickled her and started laughing.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Your chest hair."

"My what?" He looked down at his chest and covered the patch with his hand. "What's so funny about it? We Vikings have to stay warm!"

"Sorry, no no, there's nothing funny about your chest hair." She removed his hand from his chest. "A few weeks ago, Snotlout all but ripped his shirt off in front of me to show me his chest hair. He was 'finally a man' and 'a true Viking', but it was just one hair. You've got him beat, which is the funny part."

He looked back down to his sternum. It was no carpet like the rest of the tribe, but now, he was pretty proud of it. He lowered his voice by an octave, and stated, "aye lass, you've picked a real man for your husband. Everyone knows a man is not measured by his muscle or his prowess with a weapon…but how much chest hair he has."

Astrid started giggling. "That was a flawless impression of your father."

"I practice."

She rested her hand on his chest, right over his heart. "But Hiccup, I need you to know that you're more of a man than Snotlout is, chest hair or no chest hair. You have a job, you built a house, you trained a dragon…it doesn't matter that you can't swing a sword. Snotlout wasn't even that good in the ring. I know everyone gives you a hard time, but I would never, ever, want to be married to someone other than you." Then she leaned in slowly, giving him enough time to prepare.

Hiccup's eyes fluttered closed, and he tried not to pucker his lips, but just relax. His pulse pounded in his ears as the thrill of anticipation put him on edge. He was finally going to kiss Astrid again! Of course, they had earlier that day, but he had been caught so off guard he hadn't enjoyed it at all. In fact, he was a little afraid she would drop him.

After a few seconds, Hiccup was keenly aware that there was no kissing happening. He peeled an eye open to find her looking at him, eyes lidded with an amused smile on her face.

"W-what?" He asked as he felt the blush sweep over his face.

"You know, I'm always the one initiating our kisses."

"Nuh uh!"

"Name one time you kissed me first."

"I'm pretty sure I kissed you first in the hayloft…one of the times."

"That doesn't count! I started that whole thing!"

"Oh so you count that whole afternoon as one kiss?"

"Of course not! But once you get permission to kiss, it's understood that permission lasts for a while. So starting a kiss right after one ended is easy compared to the first!"

"Alright, fine, may I kiss you?"

"By all means!"

He could do this. She just said she wanted him to kiss her, so all he had to do was…do it. He leaned forward, letting his eyes close slightly, but not all the way. He didn't want to miss, of course! And to further improve accuracy, he held her face. Wow, her skin was soft!

Her hands crept up to his shoulders.

He tilted his face slightly, and pressed his lips to hers, gently at first, and then with more passion.

What was he afraid of, again?

Her kiss sent tingles to every inch of his body. He felt warm, and a fuzzy feeling grew in his head.

Astrid wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer to her. The touch made him squeak. But he soon relaxed and wrapped his arms around her waist.

After spending several months trying to deny any feelings he had for her, Hiccup felt overwhelmed. Fighting between 'you shouldn't do this' and 'she's all yours!' He could kiss her as long and as much as he wanted. There was no one and nothing that would tell him otherwise.

Astrid pulled away for a moment. "You sure you haven't been practicing?"

He scoffed. "How? With who?"

She shrugged. "A pillow, the bedpost…Toothless."

He gagged. "Of course not!" His hand ran up and down her back. "But…you and Snotlout…did you–?"

"Never even held his hand."

Hiccup released a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

She leaned in again, kissing him more intensely. He returned the fervor, meeting her lips eagerly. His hands fluttered over her, trying to find a place to hold before settling on her waist.

Astrid pushed against his chest, making him fall over onto the bed.

He looked up at her, and she looked down at him.

"Hi Husband," she smirked.

"Hi Wife…" he breathed. Hiccup scooted backwards so that they weren't hanging off the side of the bed.

Astrid was quick to straddle his legs to get more comfortable, and then dove back into kissing. Her hands dove into his hair, her nails scratching against his scalp. A wave of shivers went down his spine and he let out a little moan. It seemed like she remembered that little trick from all those months ago.

By the smile pressed to his lips, Hiccup knew she knew.

Oh she was going to smug about it? Well, now it was war!

Hiccup dug his fingers into her hips, and with a mighty heave, flipped them over so he was on top.

Astrid pulled away abruptly, staring in surprise. She didn't know he had the strength or the balls to do that. "No."

"No?"

"No!" She hooked her legs around him, grabbed his arms, and flipped them back over, pinning his arms over his head. "There!"

"What!" He barked, wiggling in her grip. She was much stronger than him, and had him pinned so well he could barely move at all.

Stupid warriors.

Astrid looked him over, scrutinizing her prize.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like a Monstrous Nightmare staring at a fish fry. In fact, I think I have seen a Monstrous Nightmare look at me like that."

Astrid didn't answer the question, but instead stated, "contrary to popular belief, you do have some nice muscle here."

"Wait, I do? Where?" He tried to look down.

"Like here," she jabbed her finger into his side, making him flinch with a yelp. "And here," she spidered her fingers over his abdomen, making him wriggle violently. "Oh and we found a ticklish spot!"

"You wouldn't dare!" He squirmed.

"Flip me over, will you!?" And she wiggled her fingers all over his stomach, making him jerk around.

"Aaaahhh–A-A-Astr—AAAAHH—AH AH AH!" He didn't laugh or giggle, no it was more like a really low scream.

Astrid giggled though. "What was that?! You sound like a Terror stuck in a pipe!"

"Oh I'm sorry, is that not the reaction you wanted? It's not like I can control it!"

"Why do you always have to be so sassy?"

"Sassy's my middle name!"

Astrid considered this for a second and asked, "I thought your middle name was Horrendous?"

"Short for Horrendously Sassy."

"Haha, very funny." And she went to tickle him again, but before that, she readjusted her grip, and noticed something. She rolled her hips. "Hiccup…are you–?"

"Yes, don't draw attention to it." He blushed again, if it was possible.

"How?! From tickling?!"

"No! A very beautiful girl is sitting on me, and her very shapely bosom is basically right in my face!"

"Stop staring at my shapely bosom! You're not allowed to!"

"I beg to differ, madam. As your husband, I do declare I am allowed to stare at your shapely bosom! I might even ogle!"

Astrid narrowed her eyes, planning her next attack.

"Tickle me again, I dare you."

"No…I have to find something else."

"Do your worst, Shieldmaiden! I can take it!"

She shrugged. "If you say so." Slowly, she lifted her free hand up to where her other was pinning him down. Then she slid her hands up to his, intertwining their fingers together. This brought her close, where she could see his eyes wide and sparkling with wonder, his chest heaving with excitement. She rolled her hips again, eliciting a whine from his throat.

She met his lips in a kiss, sweet, tender, and deceitful to her intentions.

Hiccup simply thought the game was over, and relaxed, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. He could melt into her. He could just stay like this. Laughter, jokes, intimacy, if this is what marriage was, then he was more than pleased. He understood what all the hubbub was about.

Astrid's delicate tongue caressed his bottom lip, he whimpered again and opened his mouth to her. Their tongues danced a tango, exploring, caressing, thrilling.

Their lips made a loud smack as they pulled away, and Astrid pressed heated kisses to his cheek and jaw. Finally, she came to his throat, and lathed her tongue against it, making his eyes cross.

What had he done to deserve such affection?

Suddenly, Astrid bit his flesh, gnawing on his skin, not enough to bleed, but more than what was sexy.

"Ow…ow…owowowow!" Hiccup cried, trying to pull away from her.

She pulled away herself, satisfied with the bruise and marks she had left.

"OW!" Hiccup repeated, emphasis on the 'ow'.

"That was for telling Snotlout I bite. Don't want him to think you were lying, do you?"

Hiccup groaned. "He told you I said that? Ugh…"

"I should thank you for it, honestly, I think you scared him away from trying to force a kiss on me."

"Gee, I feel the gratitude." He used his shoulder to rub against his neck, since she still had his arms pinned.

Astrid let his hands go, dragging her hands down his arms, down to his chest and then stomach. This made goosebumps raise on his skin and Astrid giggled.

"Alright." Now with use of his arms, he was able to thrust his hips to buck her off. "If I had known you were going to bully me, I would have reconsidered accidentally marrying you." He turned on his side, turning his back to her.

"Aww, Hiccup. Don't be like that!" She rolled over so she spooned behind him, wrapping one leg over his. "I'm sorry if I went too far. I just…feel really relaxed around you. I get goofy."

"And bitey."

She giggled and wrapped her arm around him to rest on his stomach. She snuggled her face into his neck, smilingly like a love sick school girl. "You make me really happy, Hiccup. I didn't think I'd get that with a husband. I thought…before we became friends, I'd either have to marry Snotlout or an older man. Maybe even a man from another tribe, and I'd never see my family again."

Hiccup rested his hand over hers.

"I didn't think I could have this. I know it's only our first night together, but I'm already enjoying it." She kissed the mark on his neck. "So sorry for being annoying."

He scoffed. "I'm not actually all that upset."

"Good!" She grabbed him and pulled him backwards so that he rolled over. Then, he was laying against her side, his head on her chest while she ran fingers through his hair.

For a moment, he wondered if maybe these roles should be switched. Shouldn't he be holding her? But his face was so close to that shapely bosom he didn't really care.

Astrid was the type to sleep hugging a pillow, and while Hiccup was certainly more boney than a pillow, he was warm, and he offered that comforting feeling that you can only receive from touch. And as a bonus, Hiccup had elected to go without a shirt, making the skin to skin touch even more intense.

"At the risk of getting myself punched…" Hiccup began.

"Hmm?"

"What was your plan for your wedding night with Snotlout? I can't imagine you were going in unprepared."

She laughed, and didn't punch him like he feared. "Why would you ask that?"

"Curiosity."

"Well…I had a really really bad plan."

"Oh?"

"Yep. I was going to barricade myself in the bedroom, using heavy furniture to block the door, and then I was going to sneak out my window, grab my emergency bag I had packed, and take off into the woods to escape from Berk on Stormfly."

"You were not!"

"I was so! Of course, if the council insisted on escorting me and Snotlout to the bedroom, I would have had to come up with something else. Like, excusing myself to the bathroom and sneaking out the back. Or something like that. Glad I don't have to worry about it."

"And where would you have gone, if you had escaped?"

"Not too far, so you and Toothless could find me. I would stay away long enough to be presumed dead and wait to return until Snotlout took another wife."

"So thirty years, at least."

"Give or take."

He sat up so that he could give her a kiss on the cheek. "Well, I'm glad you're still here."

"Had I known eloping was in the cards, I would have asked you to marry me months ago."

"What was all that 'not wanting to label things' you said in the hayloft?"

"It was true then. I thought I had time to just goof around. I hate being forced into things. If it's on my own accord to get out of something, I'd do it in a heartbeat." She hugged him tightly. "Plus, you're cute."

He chuckled. "The ultimate trophy husband, hmm?"

"The biggest catch of them all. And when we solve this dragon raid problem, I'll be the envy of all the village girls!"

Hiccup smiled at that, but didn't let his doubts ruin the moment.

The word 'when' kept being passed around, when they should be saying 'if'. He had been confident when his father asked if he could solve the raids, but it was only in comparison to winning a fight against Snotlout. There was still too much uncertainty for Hiccup to be optimistic.

—-

They fell asleep at some point. It wasn't surprising, given how comfortable the bed was and how relaxed they were in each other's arms. Hiccup awoke the next morning quite uncomfortable, and sweaty. His arm was numb, as Astrid was laying on it. Her face was pressed against his bare chest. Her legs were tangled with his, giving him a weird cramp in his thigh. He didn't have any pain in his shins though, and couldn't remember her kicking him at all.

With his one free hand, he played with her hair, that was half unraveled from her bun.

This was perfect.

Astrid woke not long after him, unsticking her face from his chest, and looking up at him with furrowed brows.

"Morning beautiful," he said, dreamily.

"Oh hi," she responded with a sleepy smile. It seemed she had remembered him, and was rather pleased to wake up with him.

She untangled her limbs and started to stretch. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Better than I thought. But yesterday was kind of exhausting."

"I slept hard." She cracked her neck. "It was pretty nice actually." She sighed and looked over to him. Then her eyes widened and she started laughing.

"What?" He looked himself over. "Bedhead?"

"Your neck!"

He rubbed the place she had bit him last night. It was sore, as bruises usually were.

She tried to stifle her laughter, but it came out as little giggles. "You have this red ring where my teeth got you, and then the whole thing is purple!"

"And this is funny to you?"

"I'm so sorry!" She guffawed.

"I'm starting to think that you aren't."

Astrid only giggled more before pulling him into a warm kiss.

That made it a little better. Besides, it was like his father said. A scar won in a battle not one with his strength, but his wits. And in the grand scheme of life, he felt like he was winning.

—-

Once they were dressed and presentable, hickey withstanding, they prepared to go to the Hofferson household for brunch. However, a note had been tacked to their door.

"Who's it from?" Asked Astrid.

"My dad. Says that the news of our wedding finally made it all around town, and people feel jipped that there were no celebrations. Looks like everyones bringing a dish to make a veritable Smörgåsbord up at the Great Hall."

"We should probably go then, right?"

Hiccup sighed. "I guess."

"Don't worry, I'll beat up anyone that gives you a hard time."

"Thanks. I'll get the bandages for your knuckles ready when we get back."

They weren't that far from the Great Hall, but they might as well live a mile away. Those that weren't up at the festivities watched as they passed, and giggled as they did so.

The Great Hall was thriving. All sorts of merriment and gaiety were in full swing. Some men were sober, some were tipsy, and some had been drinking since dawn. Songs were sung, laughs were had, and everyone seemed fairly jovial.

Once Hiccup and Astrid entered, several people turned to see who had arrived, and lit up at their appearance.

"The newlyweds!" Stoick shouted over the crowd.

Cheers went up, accompanied by wolf whistles.

"Way to go, lass!" Someone shouted.

"Finally putting that dragon training to use?" Someone else shouted.

Hiccup rubbed his neck self-consciously.

He and Astrid were escorted to a table where the twins and Fishlegs were already seated, then food was brought for them.

"Thank you," Hiccup said politely.

"So…you guys are like, married or whatever?" Said Tuffnut. "That's crazy. I thought Astrid and Snotlout were betrothed."

"They were, doofus," said Ruffnut. "That's what Fishlegs was saying earlier?"

"Oh he did? I wasn't listening. I was thinking about what color my fire would be if I was a dragon, and what it would smell like. It would be green, and smell like fried oysters."

"Uh…yeah," Hiccup said, not really knowing what Tuff was rambling about. "We accidentally got married yesterday, and Gothi refused to undo it. So, here we are."

"Yeah, accident, like we didn't see the goo goo eyes you two made at each other for like, the last two years." Said Ruff. "Especially from you, Hiccup. You look like a kitten left out in the rain."

"I-I-I do not!"

"Do to," said Tuff. "You get all droopy when you see her. Like this!" And Tuff imitated a love sick smile, complete with batting eyes and a slouched posture.

"I do not!" Hiccup insisted.

"Actually Hiccup…" Fishlegs tried to argue.

Suddenly, the last empty spot at the table was filled as Snotlout took a seat. He looked annoyed.

"Hey Snotlout…?" Hiccup tried to be casual.

"Ugh, if I have to listen to my dad whine about being humiliated in front of the tribe anymore, I'm going to feed myself to a Monstrous Nightmare! The man is infuriating."

"So…you aren't mad at me?" Hiccup clarified.

"Oh, I'm mad at you, but I'd rather sit over here than with my family."

"You're just in time then!" Said Ruff. She leaned in conspiratorially. "So, how was it?"

"How was what?" Hiccup asked, innocently.

"You know, hiding the pickle?"

"Making a yak with two backs?" Added Tuff.

"Gland-to-gland combat?"

"Ramma jam the slam ham?"

Each euphemism brought more color to Hiccup's face.

"It was great," Astrid said, cool as a cucumber. "A little nerve wracking at the beginning, but I think we went 3 or 4 times. Right babe?"

It occurred to Hiccup, after several heart pounding seconds, that she was lying, potentially to make him look good. "Oh. Y-yeah. It was…nice."

Ruff laughed so loudly that Astrid missed the stricken looks that crossed the boys' faces.

"And she's still walking? Damn, Astrid's tougher than I thought."

"Man," said Snotlout under his breath. "Hiccup's the first one to go to Pound town? Unfair."

Hiccup was horribly embarrassed, while Astrid just shook her head with amusement.

"With that out of the way, you looking forward to the fight, Hiccup?" Ruffnut asked with a dangerous smile.

The giddy feeling Hiccup had was snuffed out immediately. "Uh…"

"We've been training," Astrid interjected. "Snotlout might have strength, but Hiccup is very fast and nimble. It could be anyone's fight."

The table, and those around, burst into laughter.

"Yeah, anyone's fight…" Hiccup drawled.

Snotlout smirked. "Speed might be helpful if he could use a dagger or something, but this is hand-to-hand. One punch, and I'll lay him flat."

Hiccup had finished his meal at this point, scarfing down everything since he hadn't eaten dinner. Then he tried to sneak away.

"Not so fast, son," said Stoick, grabbing the back of his shirt.

Hiccup groaned.

Stoick lifted him to stand at the edge of the fireplace, where everyone could see. Then called the crowd to attention.

"My friends and family. I'd like to thank all of you for coming to this celebration of my son's marriage to Astrid Hofferson."

There were a handful of cheers.

"Because of the circumstances of the marriage, a formal, traditional ceremony will be happening in the future. You will all have your week-long festival."

More enthused cheers.

"Furthermore, in two weeks time, Snotlout and Hiccup have agreed to have a fight to settle the matter of honor. Hand-to-hand, no armor or weapons."

"Why wait to have the wedding after the fight? The lad can't get married if he's dead, Stoick!" Someone shouted.

Hiccup paled considerably.

"Now now, the fight isn't to the death," Stoick insisted. "But it is a fight nonetheless. These are the terms that the Jorgensons, Hoffersons, and Haddocks have agreed on. So once it's over, regardless of the winner, I don't want to hear anymore about it. Gothi has blessed and ordained the marriage, and there's nothing more to do about it."

Glancing over the crowd, Hiccup noted that most people were just happy to be partying right now, and the promise of more partying and entertainment.

Only Spitelout was fuming and glaring in the corner.