Farewell

That's how it was. As soon as Lily entered the Great Hall with her housemates, all excited about the impending trip, she the most, of course, and saw Sev in uniform, standing out strongly among the rest of the students dressed in black robes, she knew that he was not going to take the Express. 'Tobias.'

She held back her huge disappointment and managed to pretend faking smiles until she reached her seat. She looked at him, he was giving her the Haven gesture. She nodded and watched him speak briefly to Avery and walk away.

In the brief glance that she had given him she had known perfectly, because a month ago he had looked the same for almost two weeks, that he must have spent the night awake, ruminating. 'So he's known since yesterday and he hasn't done anything to warn me.'

Her disappointment turned to anger, thinking that he could have sent an owl to the Gryffindor Room or her dorm. She began to eat, and after the first few bites she pretended to be sick. Her housemates were talking animatedly making plans for the holidays.

She told Cecile, "I think breakfast is making me sick," putting her hands to her stomach.

"It must be the nerves for the trip, I'll accompany you to the bathroom," Cecile replied, making a gesture of getting up.

"No, no, I'm going alone, otherwise you're going to miss out on breakfast…" she said, taking her forearm and squeezing it tightly.

Cecile looked into her eyes for a moment, understanding. "Okay, but stop by the Infirmary so Poppy can give you something, otherwise you're going to have a bad time on the Express." She sat down again.

"Yes, calm down, I'll do that." She hurried out as if she were indeed feeling ill, but calm because Cecile, with a single gesture and look, had understood everything, had provided her with a good alibi and knew that she would cover her back before the rest as she did that time in the Astronomy Tower. And without having told her anything.

She left the Great Hall while numerous students were still entering, and went to the second floor, which was empty, since no house was located there. She went up the passageway to the fifth and then down the east corridor. She walked all the way unhurriedly, fighting to contain her deep disappointment and her anger. When she arrived at the Haven's door, took several deep breaths before opening it, so as not to storm in.

But when she opened the door and saw Sev on the couch, on his side, with his legs drawn up and hugging himself, and hearing her he turned to her, with surprise but above all, deep sadness in his eyes, she lost suddenly all her anger.

Sev didn't expect her until after breakfast. "Lily… How did you come so soon…?"

"Easy, Sev, Cecile covers me," approaching the dais.

He questioned her with his gaze.

"I'll tell you later. You aren't coming home. Tobias, right?" Meanwhile she climbed the high step and sat next to him, adopting the same posture as him, symmetrically facing each other, looking into his eyes, and took his hand in hers.

'I've get out of words. Lily has figured it all out and she's not desperate, she's very much in control of herself.'

He only managed to say, "Yes…"

"Since when do you know?" she asked very sweetly.

"I got an owl from Mum at the end of dinner…"

Lily shook her head but she did not lose her calm or softness. "And instead of notifying me and deciding it together, you spent the night without sleeping, ruminating," removing a lock of hair from his forehead.

"You had already left… How did you want me to do it?"

"What are owls for, Sev? You could have sent one to me to Gryffindor Room with the handwriting disfigured and the return address to my house in Cokeworth. We could have met when everyone fell asleep like Remus suggested the other day, he would have helped us."

'I'm beginning to realize how badly I've done everything.'

Lily continued to caress him, her gaze following the path of her fingers.

"I'm sorry, Lily, I didn't think of it…"

"Always trying to control everything by yourself, as if it didn't concern me."

"No, Lily, I also thought of you, the best for both of us."

"I already imagine it, you gave a thousand turns to the matter and the best thing that occurred to you was that we separated. Didn't it cross your mind that you have another house in Cokeworth?"

That puzzled him. 'What does she mean?'

"I thought about sleeping in the mill, or staying in a pension."

Lily smiled, denying again. "But what a fool you are, Sev, if I already offered it to you in the summer. You could have stayed at my house, in the guest room."

'It never even crossed my mind. And even if I had thought about it… how could I justify my presence there to Lily's family? Too many explanations… and shame.'

"What are you saying? How would we have explained it to your parents?"

"Let's see, my love… what are friends for? Don't they invite each other to their houses?"

"Yes, but not for three whole weeks and at Christmas."

"Well, nothing would have happened to tell them the truth, my parents appreciate you very much, you know. Thanks to you we found out that nothing strange happened to me when I was little. But you've always avoided spending much time at my house. I understand, because Petunia got nasty, although you didn't put much of your side either, with your mania for Muggles. It would have been a good opportunity to get to know each other better, after all, you are already family."

Sev was surprised. 'What is she saying?'

Lily noticed her bewilderment. "Yes, honey. When I told you we were engaged, I wasn't kidding. I want to be with you forever, if you want too, of course."

Sev's eyes filled with tears.

"Come on, don't have a bad time… Maybe you'll still have time to come if you're willing to do without your trunk. We could study with my books, then we'd go to Spinner's End for your clothes."

He closed his eyes and tears began to roll down his cheeks. 'I am not capable of presenting myself like this, with what I am wearing and without warning, as a refugee.' He denied with his head.

"Don't worry, I understand, it's too sudden for you," she continued. "You don't have faith in the goodness of people and I'm not surprised. Your life has been very difficult, but you have to learn to trust. You've already realized how wrong you were about Remus."

Lily began to give him little kisses as she called them, on his eyelids and along the trail of his tears. He couldn't see that she too was misty-eyed, struggling not to break down. 'In the end, it is she who is comforting me as I had always dreamed of doing.' She continued like this until he pulled himself together and opened his eyes.

"Think about it calmly, okay? You can always come by Floo, let me know and we'll go to fetch you to Diagon Alley.

Sev nodded. 'I don't think I will, but it would be a great contempt towardsher not to consent to at least think about it.'

"Okay, that's better," she continued. "And in the meantime, don't spend all the time alone. Take the opportunity to get closer to the people in your house who also stay, now you will not have anyone above you to control who you interact with. You can find a friend where you least expect it. Look, I'll give you an example. Do you know, without going any further, how I escaped today?" She told him about Cecile's complicity at breakfast. "You see? And without telling her anything, that's called blind trust. She herself has invented the perfect excuse for me to disappear until the last minute."

Lily looked at her watch. "We still have time. You may be thinking that I never thought to stay with you, but I know full well that it would be crazy, so sudden. My trunk must already be on its way to the Express, everyone would know. Do you have something to tell me?"

Sev didn't feel able to speak, so he pulled out the letter he had written for her. "There is one for you and one for Mum."

"Is this mine?" showing him the most bulky scroll.

Sev nodded, Lily unfolded it and read quickly, as she commented on it. "My Half-Blood Prince…" she kissed him on the lips. "The berries… do you have some for me?"

Sev took a small package made from a piece of parchment out of his pocket, handed it to her, and said, "Today do not take any, it will taste very bad."

"I don't care at all, I'll be with you through the good and the bad."

Lily continued reading. "Do you see how you also like my parents…? You don't have to write me so much, do it if you want, but distract yourself with other things... You don't need to do it today, rest, you're exhausted... You thought I was going to want to stay," she smiled wistfully, "I wish we could…" This time the pause was bigger. "Sev, the Post Office is closed on Saturdays at the time the Express arrives, I can't send an urgent letter today. Anyway, with my parents and your Mum, I'd like to do it my way. I am going to tell my parents what is happening, they will understand without too many details. I'll ask them to stop by your house to deliver the letter in person to your Mum, and I'd like to talk to her too, while I'm at it. This cannot go on like this, we need support, we cannot fight the world alone." She thought he would protest, but he didn't. "Do you agree?"

Sev nodded slightly.

"Sure?" she insisted.

"Yes, Lily, you are the one who knows about these things."

"Good decision."

She continued with the letter, when she got to 'don't give me any gifts', she rolled her eyes, but finished the paragraph. "Sev, listen to me well," this time she spoke something harsh. "You can't ask me not to give you gifts. Look where we are! You have done it all! You must let me contribute something, otherwise it would be I who would be in your debt. I will not buy you any whims, only necessary things. Please accept my help, just like I do with you. Besides…" she changed her tone to surprised, "I hadn't realized… We're going to miss your birthday…"

Now she was the one who was capsizing, Lily put a lot of importance on dates, but Sev didn't. He didn't remember parties or gifts when he was a child, only Lily had given him gifts in his entire life. "Don't worry, honey, you'll be back two days later."

"I'll talk to Remus so he can fix us a date as soon as we get back," looking at him sadly. "We'll celebrate."

Lily finished the letter. "I copy you in the last paragraph, but not that your life wouldn't have meaning, you're worth a lot by yourself," she told him seriously, and more happily, smiling, "Have you noticed? We are the Half-Blood Prince and the Princess of the Enchanted Castle, the protagonists of a tale." And finally she managed to make him smile.

"I always thought so since you invented the nickname for me, but I never dared to tell you."

"And I always expected you to tell me when I called you that as little girl."

"Really?"

"Yes…"

"What an idiot…"

They looked at each other smiling wistfully, both thinking about the lost time. 'If only I had told her much earlier…' he thought. 'If only I had realized that he loved me…' she thought.

"Well, now it's over," Lily continued. "Can you think of anything else to tell me?"

Sev shook her head, Lily looked at her watch again. "Ten minutes. I want kisses for the road."

He finally reacted, they hugged closely and kissed slowly, conscientiously, to make those ten minutes indelible for the next three weeks.

When they parted, she told him, "I love you, Sev, close your eyes like always, don't see me go."

"I love you, Lily."

Sev closed his eyes, the beautiful emerald green of Lily's eyes etched into his retina.