Pacts

Lily retraced her steps to the entrance hall, no longer struggling to hold herself together, because the worse she looked, the more believable her alibi would be. The entrance to the castle was full of students waiting their turn to take the carriages that would take them to Hogsmeade station. Cecile was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, she walked towards her, and two steps away from reaching her, her friend held out her hand. She gave it to her and the other one squeezed it tightly and said, "You're still sick, aren't you? Don't worry, tonight you will be with your parents who will take care of you."

Lily looked at her with profound gratitude. Cecile continued, lowering her voice a little to confidence, "By the way… I didn't say you went to the Infirmary because Potter wanted to go out looking for you."

Lily hugged her, the other continued speaking in her ear. "And he has turned to look at the Slytherin table…" She returned to her normal tone. "Has Pomfrey given you something?"

Lily pulled away from her and nodded.

"Well, then don't worry. You will see that soon you'll feel better. Let's go with the others."

She was the one who explained to everyone that Lily came from the Infirmary. She continued to hold her hand in the carriage, and as they boarded the Express she apologized to the others saying that they were going to find a quieter compartment until she felt better. She didn't ask her any compromising questions or comments, even when they were alone, Lily at the window and Cecile at her side. She took a book out of her backpack and said, "I'm going to read for a while to let you rest, but if you prefer to talk we can."

Lily was really surprised, Cecile had known about everything, probably since the night in the Astronomy Tower, maybe even before, and she knew that she didn't exactly like Sev.

When they had been traveling for about fifteen minutes, she finally asked her, "Cecile, why are you helping me?"

The other looked at her and spoke with understanding, "I have always considered that we are friends, and friends are helped without judging them. I think you should be free to make your own decisions, and nobody better than yourself knows what is best for you," and changing the tone to ironic, "Besides, I like Potter even less."

They both laughed. Cecile went back to her book and Lily to look out the window, and from time to time they would comment on something without bringing it up again.

A while later, Remus appeared in the compartment door. "Hi, girls. Are you feeling better, Lily? Can you go out for a moment?" He must want to tell her what had happened at breakfast.

"Come in, Remus. Cecile knows about it and she's already told me everything."

They both looked at her in surprise, Lily just smiled, shrugging her shoulders, making a face of 'What are we going to do to it?'

Remus entered a little hesitantly and Cecile asked her, "Lily, do you want me to go?"

"No, no, you two stay."

Cecile put the book down, Remus sat down opposite Lily, and resting his other elbow on his knee, he held out his hand to her. She gave it to him. "You're going to be alone at Cokeworth, aren't you?" He looked at her with sorrow and tenderness.

Lily nodded, but said, "I'm going to be with my family, I really want to see them. He's going to have a much worse time, he doesn't have friends like you," looking at both of them.

"Yeah…" Remus said a bit dejected.

Cecile was nodding slightly, her expression somewhat grim, like her understanding many things. They both stared at her gravely for a long minute, Lily alternately staring back at them. Then it was Cecile and Remus who did it to each other, for even longer, without speaking but all three thinking of a fourth person who wasn't present. At last Cecile turned to her again, took her other hand and sentenced, with absolute conviction, "Yes, he does."

Lily looked at Remus, he was nodding very sure. Both of them still remained silent for a few long seconds, so that the message would sink in. They had just sealed a pact of deep friendship between the three of them and with Sev, although he was not present.

Lily took the letter in which Sev talked about Remus out of her backpack and gave it to him to read. He looked at her puzzled and she nodded for him to do so.

Princess:

I love you. You have opened my eyes, you are my light.

Forgive me for having doubted the trust you had in R. You are absolutely right, he is a true friend to you and hopefully I will also earn his friendship one day. I plan to do my best to achieve it and it's not just for interest, I really think he is a great person who found the wrong people, but I understand his loyalty and I will respect it.

So do not force him to tell you anything else, he will know what he should tell you and what is not necessary. Just ask him for his address so you can correspond with him at Christmas, I would like him to also receive something from me.

I already have part of the strategy planned to meet at night, I'll tell you at home. Until then, we better not risk communicating unless something serious happens like Friday. In that case, we do the same as yesterday morning, you did great.

If I have a row with Parkinson on Wednesday in Potions, do what the Gryffindors do, turn around and laugh if she insults me. That way you can also observe her reaction and advise me, because I'm not going to look at her.

I also love you very much and miss you, I am eager to get home, I have never wanted so much. Free, alone, without having to hide. One more week, my life, just one week…

Kisses, Princess

Your Prince.

Lily could see Remus's eyes growing misty as he scanned the writing. With the last paragraph he could no longer contain himself and he returned it to her, covering his eyes with his hand, his elbow resting on his knee.

Cecile had kept her eyes lowered, but without going back to her book, Lily handed the letter to her. "Read it too."

She took it and did it. Cecile knew very well how Remus used to harass Sev with the others, and that way she would understand that he had been protecting and helping them for a long time and that he had forgiven him. In a way, she was betraying Sev's trust, but he didn't mention compromised secrets and it would tighten the ties between the four of them.

Cecile didn't cry, but she was sad and gave her a hug when she finished reading. "Count on me for whatever you need," she told her.

"Thank you very much, Cecile."

Remus had already recovered, and when the girls parted, he got up, held out his hand for Lily to do so, and hugged her too. "This is for him, send it to him from me. Tell him that I am already his friend and that he does not need to do anything for me, it is enough the fact that he has forgiven me. I will do my best so that you can meet as soon as we return in January. We'll correspond and plan it." They already had their addresses, since they had written to each other a couple of times in the summer.

"Thank you very much, Remus."

"Don't give them to me, thanks to you for trusting me so much." They separated. "Well, I'll leave you," Remus continued, "Otherwise James is going to show up at any moment to bother you."

"See you soon, Remus," Lily said.

Cecile held out her hand, he squeezed it, looking into each other's eyes again. "See you soon, Remus," Cecile said.

"See you soon, girls," he said. He left and they both stayed thinking about the sacrifice he was making by returning to the others, when he would have preferred a thousand times to stay with them.

Neither of them said anything, it wasn't necessary, but Cecile was for a long time without going back to her book. She finally spoke, "Can you give me his address?" she asked Lily.

"I don't have it here, I'll send it to you from home as soon as I can."

"Sure, there is no rush, first take care of Sev." She gave her a kiss on her cheek, looked at her tenderly for a few long seconds, and then she went back to reading.

After a while, Lily pulled out Sev's letters. She carefully read the one for her, and then the one for Eileen. If he hadn't given her permission, she wouldn't have done it, but she wanted to see what he would say so she could think about how to deal with the conversation she would have with her in the evening… if Tobias wasn't there, of course.

As she expected, Sev never mentioned the real reason for his absence. He was full of apologies and reassuring phrases and did not say anything about his problems at school. And he only named her to explain how he had sent the letter.

The latter didn't matter to her, it was up to Sev when he communicated something so intimate to his Mum, she wasn't going to tell her family either. After all, they had only been together for a month or so, although in reality they had been together for half their lives.

But everything else... Sev only had her and his Mum as pillars, and Eileen's was rather false, ignorant of what her son was really going through and not consistent with the love that she knew for sure she had for him. She couldn't afford to be his only support, she had to put the cards on the table for his mother.

From time to time Cecile would ask her, without looking up from her book, how she was feeling, and she would always answer a little better. When the food cart passed, she forced her to take something. "You haven't had breakfast, and Poppy's remedy must have already taken effect. So you have no excuse, you have to get well so your parents don't worry."

She was right, she should make an effort to be better, if only so Sev wouldn't find the berry bitter.

When they finished eating, Cecile asked her, "Do you want us to go with the girls? So you have a little fun."

"Go if you want, I don't feel like being with anyone else."

"Cool! Me neither, I prefer to be calm, but you should stop thinking so much. Don't you have a book in your backpack?"

"Well, no, I hadn't counted on spending the trip like this."

"I can lend you one," she said taking out a medium-sized volume, surely a Muggle novel like the one she was reading. "Surely you know Jane Austen, did you know she was a witch?"

"I didn't... Really?"

"Yes, I found out recently, in a book on the History of Magic. She was a teacher at Hogwarts." Cecile was preparing the OWLs to take the NEWT of History, it was her favorite subject. She was showing her a copy of Pride and Prejudice. "Have you read it?"

Lily used to read some Muggle novels from her parents' library in the summer, but not too many, because as soon as she bought the textbooks for the following year she was on them. "No, I haven't read anything of her."

"Well you should. She conveys a deep understanding of relationships, especially couples. This is about two people who fall in love at first sight but at the same time didn't like each other and are of different social rank, so it is very difficult for them to understand each other. Start it, and if you like it, you will return it to me when we come back from holidays, I have already read it twice."

And Lily immersed herself with great interest in the story of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, flying past her remaining hours to London.

It was time to change their clothes and they went to get their trunks from the compartment assigned to the fifth-year Gryffindor girls, meeting the others, who inquired about Lily's health. They took turns at the washroom. She didn't bother to do so, she just stowed the robe and cloak in the trunk, replacing them with her Muggle coat, which completely covered her uniform, removing her tie as well.

They said goodbye to each other, Cecile gave her a long and affectionate hug, looked into her eyes with a smile and told her that she would write to her, as she had done other times.

Her parents were already waiting for her at the exit of platform nine and three quarters. Fortunately, they didn't come with Petunia. Except on her first trip, when they had a heated argument to bid her farewell, her sister had never again accompanied her to or from King's Cross. They gave her warm hugs and asked her if she was feeling ill. 'My, it still shows.' She answered them, "I'll explain it to you in the car."

It didn't surprise her that they hadn't asked about Sev, because although they had taken him to and from the train station numerous times, they hadn't done either on Easter or the previous summer.

When they got into the car, she sat in the center of the back seat, and before starting, her Mum told her, "Well, tell us what's wrong, sweetheart."

And she, giving a deep sigh, began, "You see, it's about Sev. I need you to take me to his house to tell his Mum that he is not coming for Christmas."

"Why, Lily? What happened to him?" asked her Mum, somewhat alarmed.

"Don't worry, he's fine, it wasn't a sudden mishap, but something that goes back a long way. But start, Dad, and I'll tell you about it on the way."

She started at the beginning, when she found out in the river that Sev was being abused by Tobias, and she explained his family situation to them without giving gory details, including Eileen's attitude. Her Dad was looking at her gravely with brief glances in the rearview mirror, and she was trying hard not to cry. Her Mum made pitying comments and gasps of surprise, but she was not interrupted.

"So that's why we didn't see each other last August and now he has decided not to come for Christmas. But that is not all…" And she also told them that since first year, he was bullied by the Gryffindors at school. She didn't tell them about his bad company or the danger she herself was in from the Slytherin threats. Her goal was to arouse their empathy towards Sev, and not worry them about issues they couldn't intervene on.

When she finished, her Mum asked her, "Honey, how come you hadn't told us all this before?"

"Maybe I should have told you, but he always hides it and I didn't want to betray him. Today I have asked permission to do so and he has given it to me."

Her Dad intervened for the first time, "Now I explain the character of your friend."

"What do you mean, Dad?"

"Because he is sullen, distrustful, always on the defensive, has many difficulties in relating. It is almost always you who goes to his house, and he has rarely come to ours. But now I understand that it's not his fault for being this way."

"It had always seemed to me that you liked him… Why then did you let me hang out with him?"

"Because we immediately realized that he wasn't like that with you, he treated you very well and you were at ease with him. After spending years without understanding magic, you had found someone like you."

Lily understood a couple of things, that her parents were more understanding and liberal than she already supposed and Sev's phrase 'Without you my life would have no meaning'. Because it was true, he was mean to everyone except her and his Mum.

Her Mum asked, "Do you think we can do something? We know nothing of the laws of witches."

"As for his father, I don't think much can be done if it isn't his mother who stops him, with magic or by denouncing him. And regarding the school, the Headmaster is aware and he does nothing."

"How is it possible that he consents to something like that?" Her father's tone was indignant.

Ugh… she had slipped, and the last she needed was to tell them about the Shrieking Shack, that Dumbledore protected a werewolf who almost killed Sev and was now his friend. She was going to have to give them the excuse of enemy Houses.

"You will see, Hogwarts is not as idyllic as I have painted it for you. I am lucky to belong to the favorite House, that of the Headmaster and the Deputy Headmistress, as well as my housemates who bully Sev. But he had the opposite, the least favored."

Her parents were silent, not knowing what to say. She realized that she had just given them a deep disappointment.

"So there is not only segregation and competition, but also discrimination," his father finally spoke. "We never liked that of separation in Houses or the points system you have, but something like that is already out of line. We'll write a letter to the Headmaster and you'll take it to him."

'Woah… no.' She must avoid it at all costs. If she saw Dumbledore in person, he was going to find out everything by reading her. She was inspired by just what she should not tell and to change to the subject that really interested her.

"It's better not, Dad. One of the boys who bullied him has been secretly protecting him from his own friends all year because he regretted doing it, and they haven't attacked him since last year. I think it is better to leave things as they are, now at least at school he is calmer. But there is something else you can do."

"Tell us, daughter," said her Dad.

"I have offered him our house to stay whenever he wants. I'm sorry I did it without consulting you before, but he was excited about coming home and he was very sad that he couldn't…"

Lily couldn't hold back her tears anymore and her Dad saw her cry. "Honey, don't get upset, you've done very well," he said. "You have every right to invite whoever you want to your house, it's as much yours as ours, and even more so your best friend, who has always taken care of you."

"Thank you, Dad," her voice cracked.

Her Mum turned to her in her seat and held out her hand, when she gave it to her, she squeezed it very hard. "Don't worry, daughter, you can count on us. If they bother him again, don't shut up, write to us and we'll do what we can."

Both continued saying words of encouragement to her, and she unburdened herself for a while clinging to her Mum's hand, to throw everything out and be able to face the most difficult one yet, talking to Eileen, for which she had to maintain her composure, as she had done that morning with Sev.

When they arrived at Spinner's End, she told her father, "Park here, Dad. Close but not at the same door." In that neighborhood very few people had their own vehicle and there was plenty of space to park.

Before getting out of the car she explained to them, "You will see. I have to deliver a letter to her, but I also want to talk to her, and I can only do that if her husband is not at home. Dad, I need you to walk me to the door, in case he opens it. In that case, we just leave and wait for him to close to leave it in the mailbox. If Eileen opens up for us, I'll ask if she's alone and make sure she wards the house before I go in, it'll probably take me a while to explain everything. Dad, go back to the car but stay outside, in case Tobias comes while I'm inside. If he goes crazy, banging on the door and trying to get in, call the police and explain that I'm inside so I can get out."

"Lily, but… what if she opens for him?" asked her Mum, alarmed.

"She won't be able to, I'll ask her to give me her wand once she closes the door."

"Daughter, we think it's risky," said her Dad. "Wouldn't it be better to do it another way?"

"And how do you think?"

"Tell her to come to the car and you two can talk inside. We'll stay out until you're done."

Lily felt bad about her parents staying out in the open, but she thought it was safer. "Okay, Dad, we'll do it this way."

The three of them got out of the car, staying her Mum next to it, and her Dad and she headed to Sev's house.

"Knock on the door, Dad, and stand aside, in case Tobias opens it."

Lily's father did, and within seconds, the door opened. Eileen appeared in the doorway, dressed in threadbare clothes and covered with a woolen shawl. "Lily, darling! What a surprise!" with joy. "Good evening, Mr. Evans. How do you do?"

"Good evening, Mrs. Snape," Lily's father replied gravely, "Very well, thank you."

"Good night, Eileen," Lily said also very seriously.

"Have you brought Severus?" excited. "Thank you very much…"

Lily had to take a deep breath to keep from collapsing. "No, Eileen. Sev hasn't taken the Express."

Her face changed suddenly, to alarm.

"Don't worry, he's fine, I bring you a letter from him. But I'd also like to talk to you for a while if you can get out of the house."

Eileen hesitated but she didn't say anything. Lily sensed her hesitation, and she had already realized that Tobias wasn't home, otherwise she wouldn't have greeted them like this. "We have the car parked right there, we'll talk inside if you want. It's important, Eileen."

"Okay, I'm going for the keys." She came out half a minute later, closed the door, and they walked to the car, Lily and Eileen leading and her Dad following. When they arrived, Eileen and Lily's Mum greeted each other, and she opened the back door for her. She came around the other side and went inside too, turning on the interior light. Lily's parents stood leaning against the hood of the vehicle with their backs to them.

"Tell me, Lily, what happened? Why hasn't Severus come?"

"You should already imagine it."

Eileen didn't answer her, she just looked down, embarrassed.

"First you're going to read his version, and then we'll talk about the truth."

She took out the envelope with Sev's letter to his Mum and waited until she read it and said, "Of course, he has to study a lot and at school he will be calmer…"

'By Merlin! Is this woman in the dark, or is she deluding herself?' The rage gave her the necessary temper, holding it back, to dot her i's. Eileen did not look up from the short letter, taking comfort in the kind words of her son, with a wistful smile.

"Eileen, look at me," she demanded her attention, and the woman looked up, with sadness in her eyes. "You know I've always considered you my second mother, but today I must talk to you from witch to witch," she told her very seriously.

Eileen's gaze changed to serious.

"What you just read is not true. Sev decided not to come when he got your letter last night. And I think he made a good decision."

The woman didn't move a muscle or change her gaze. Contained. By Merlin! How Sev and his Mum looked alike.

"But it's not what he really wanted to do, his life at school is not a bed of roses, he has you fooled." And she did tell her everything. The Gryffindors, the Slytherins, and that they had had to hide to continue seeing each other… as friends. "So we were both very excited to be able to spend a period of respite at home, but you know very well that with your husband here that is impossible."

Eileen had listened to everything, breathing deeply, without changing her gaze one iota, controlling herself. Hearing this last, she closed her eyes.

Lily told her everything she knew about her family, this time sparing no details, including the ordeal last Christmas, of which they had both kept her as ignorant as possible. She listened with her eyes closed, an expression of deep pain on her face and hugging herself above her shawl.

"Do not think that I want to get into the relationship you have with your husband. That is up to you, you are an adult witch and you can do what you want with your life and your power. But I am not going to continue allowing it to affect your son, who is still a minor and cannot defend himself. So if you're not able to protect him, I'll do it myself, I should have done it long before. I'm not going to ever let him be," she stresses the word, "under the same roof as Tobias. In fact, I've already offered him my house so he can stay whenever he wants. My parents agree."

Eileen, without opening her eyes, nodded slightly.

Lily continued, "But that's not how it should be, because Sev has a hard time resorting to that solution and I doubt he'll accept it. So if you want to see your son again this Christmas or in the holidays until he turns seventeen and can defend himself, you must choose. Your husband or your son."

Eileen shifted her position, resting her elbow on her knee, her forehead in her hand, defeated, but not shedding a single tear.

Lily paused a long time for the ultimatum to sink in. "Take your time to think about it. But remember, Sev only has you and me. And I am also a minor."

Lily changed the harsh and blunt tone she had used up to that point to a more friendly one. "And in the meantime let's specify some practical details, in case we don't see each other again. Do you have something prepared for Sev? Clothes, money, whatever you can. And if you don't have it, we'll make a list of what he might need and I'll take care of it."

Eileen finally looked at her, torn between her embarrassment and her gratitude, and Lily felt bad that she had been so hard on her. 'But is that…'

"Come on, hug me," Lily said. But only she hugged her, the other kept clinging to her shawl. "I had to speak clearly to you because I can't handle everything on my own. We both have to help him, we love him very, very much…"

And Sev's Mum, at last, shivered, and Lily knew that she was crying in absolute silence. A couple of minutes passed and she parted away from her, wiping away her tears with the end of her shawl. "Thank you, Lily. If you wait for me, I'll go home and bring you what I have."

"Okay, Eileen."

Lily was left thinking that the only thing she had achieved was that Eileen delegated her own responsibility on her, she shouldn't have offered anything or given her affection. Still, so Sev wouldn't miss her Mum's, she took out quill, inkwell, and parchment and wrote her home address for her.

She came back about five minutes later with a medium bag that must have had clothes in it, and the same envelope she had given her with the letter. "Take, are some changes and what I could save," she gave it to her without going back into the car.

"Okay, I'll send it to him. Do you think he might need something more?"

"I don't know, right now I can't think about anything."

'What an inept. It doesn't matter, I'll take care of it, he needs some boots for the Forest.'

"Can you tell me what size he shoes?"

"Nine."

"If you want to send him something or write to him and you can't go to Diagon, take my home address, send a Muggle package or letter and I or my parents when I'm gone will send it to Hogwarts with my owl."

"Lily, darling, you have no idea how much I appreciate it."

'Yes, yes. I'm sure she's not going to do anything to kick Tobias out, at least this Christmas. And assuming that Sev won't want to take refuge in my house either, we're going to stay without seeing each other.'

So she returned to the harsh tone, "I would be most grateful if you would do everything possible so that Sev can come in the next few days by Floo."

"Okay, Lily, okay," but she didn't sound very convinced.

Lily didn't bother to get out of the car to see her off, what a disappointment. She still told her, "I hope to see you again soon, Eileen."

"Me too, Lily, darling, take good care of yourselves."

'Yes, since you don't take care of him at all. I've done everything upside down. What are I going to do? What do I know about women trapped in a toxic relationship?' She was still surprised that Sev hadn't come off even more malefic. And she finally understood deeply about 'Without you my life would have no meaning'.

As Eileen walked past her parents, pausing briefly to say goodbye, they got back into the car. Her Mum asked her, turning to her, "How did it go, sweetheart?"

Lily sighed. "Too much for me, I think I've screwed it up even more."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I've told her everything there is and still she doesn't react."

"Well, if she has just been aware of so many things…" said her Dad. "It's normal, give her time, I'm sure she'll end up doing the right thing."

"I don't know, I don't think so, really."

"And otherwise, think that Sev only has one more year to come of age, and then he can fend for himself," her Mum said.

It seemed incredible to Lily that her own mother remembered Sev's birthday, when his hadn't even mentioned it.

"Thank you, parents, you are fabulous."

"Thank you, daughter, for trusting us."

They headed home, her Mum had already prepared dinner anticipating that they would be late, so they only had to heat it up and sit at the table. Lily's Dad cut short Petunia's first hurtful comment.

When they finished dinner, she apologized saying that she was very tired, they gave her warm hugs and lots of kisses and she retired to her room. She opened the bag Eileen had given her. Changes, yes, but old and worn. If this was the new things she was sending him, what would the ones he had be like? She decided to throw it all away.

And in the envelope, a few pounds, surely Tobias had already drunk the rest. It wasn't even enough for trips to Hogsmeade, now she understood why Sev never wanted to go to the taverns. She felt terrible for not having been aware of how serious her friend's financial difficulties were for so many years.

He had crossed out the word 'materialistic' from her personal characteristics in the Celtic horoscope, but now she thought he was wrong. She was attracted to clothes and other pretty things that you could only get with money and she indulged in quite a few whims, and he didn't even have enough for socks.

'Well, it doesn't matter. I have some savings and I will ask my parents not to give me anything this Christmas.' She was amused that it was the same thing Sev had asked of her. 'Just they give me money.'

Although she was exhausted and Sev had asked her not to do it until she received a letter from him, she thought it wouldn't be strange for Eileen to write to her son when she didn't see him arrive on the Express, so she wrote him a long, long letter... so that he would receive it at breakfast, responding in more detail to his of the morning, telling him at length about the pact with Cecile and Remus and more succinctly about what she had discussed with their respective parents, completely hiding from him the disappointment she had had with Eileen, but neither giving him hope of being able to return to Spinner's End in the next few days. It concluded:

So, in a single day, from having one ally, we have gone to five. We are no longer alone.

'I should say four and a quarter, but well…'

You know, my love, you have a nice quiet room at Cokeworth. Nobody will bother you if you need to be alone, and we can be together whenever you want.

But if you decide not to come, nothing happens either, I will not insist more. Take advantage of the time and try to be well, I will too.

Kisses Kisses Kisses…

Your Princess

PS: If you want, use Puck to answer me. But then let's use owls from the castle, otherwise we're going to blow him up.

She sent her owl with the letter, got into bed hugging the pillow imagining it was him, and when she opened the parchment packet he had given her to take out a berry, she discovered that he had also put the little ring of his raven hair inside.

It was wider, he must have used several hairs to make it. She put it on the middle finger of her left hand, it fit her perfectly. She wouldn't take it off until she got back to Hogwarts. She kissed it many times with watery eyes.

When at last she took the red berry, it comforted her and was pleasantly surprised that after the intense taste of his salty tears, his kisses and his skin, only a faint trace of bitterness remained in her mouth.